The Actual Freedom Trust Mail Out
Mail Out 1
Peter to Subscriber No. 2
Hi No. 2,
SUBSCRIBER NO. 2: ‘On the same days that Peter was smoothly gliding in from virtual to actual freedom, ‘I’ was also trying to ‘self’-immolate ... by force, trying to muster the courage to ‘die’ (to get it over with once and for all) without backing down. Heh. I didn’t back down, but nothing much else happened either... despite the gritted teeth, clenched fists, screwed up face, headache/pressure pains, moments of dark swooning, panic attacks, and feelings of being altogether pathetic and ridiculous when ‘I’ was still there, despite these histrionics. ;-)
Heh. After this I came to the conclusion that best the way to ‘self’-immolate is to continue the process of being happy and harmless ... to whatever degree is currently possible, and to allow the increasing clarity and enjoyment and benevolence thus enabled to reveal what needs to be done next.’ It’s very early morning here in the Northern Rivers, before dawn in fact. Lately I have been waking to see the early dawn mist on the river out of the front window of the houseboat – as you know, I only have to prop myself up from the bed on an elbow to see the river, or to lay back to see the stars.
PETER: I thought to write to you because my post-actual freedom days have caused me to contemplate on many things (too many at once to have had the time, let alone the opportunity, to come to many conclusions).
I did however pause last night to wonder at the fact that my major pre-actual freedom obsession has continued on unabated, so much so that it is as if becoming free from the human condition was but a passing (albeit absolutely essential) event in what now has the potential to be the start of an epoch far more significant than the transformation of matter into animate matter on this planet – the emergence of (in that it is now proven to be replicable) conscious matter freed of the crude and crippling instinctually-based self-centred brutish survival instincts.
The obsession that I talk about is doing whatever I can to bring about peace on earth amongst my fellow human beings – an obsession that had its roots in my taking up the implicate challenge in Richard’s comment ‘If two people can’t live together in peace and harmony then life on earth is indeed a sick joke’. As you know, the very first woman I presented this challenge to was that remarkable woman called Vineeto and together our writings based upon our shared, lived experiences formed the basis of an individual virtual freedom from malice and sorrow and of a living together in virtual peace and harmony for any couple should they mutually desire it to be so.
Success in this enterprise gradually revealed its limitations to us both – not that I dismiss it lightly because its global-wide application would indeed bring an end to war, murder, rape, torture, persecution, corruption, competition, exploitation and the like that epitomize what is blithely termed the human condition.
The first obvious limitation with such a virtual freedom is that whilst being applicable to individuals and hence couples and to a certain extent to societies at large, it still requires diligence and a certain degree of ‘self’-control in order to sustain and maintain it.
The second limitation that became apparent after our initial quite spectacular successes was that it did not address one of the fundamental desires of human beings – to find a better way of living in peace and harmony with other human beings other than the obviously failed nuclear couple/ nuclear family structure.
So it was that after the initial pioneering work with Vineeto in paving the way for a virtual freedom from malice and sorrow, the desire for finding a better way of living with fellow human beings hove in to view – a natural consequence of having succeeded as far is humanly possible in the first ambition (intent is the necessary driving force such that one is able to achieve one’s ambition thereby making it inevitably one’s destiny). What I have discovered since becoming actually free from the human condition is that the motivation to do whatever I can to bring about peace on earth amongst my fellow human beings still burns within me – not as a burning passion but rather as a physical compulsion, something that literally ‘flows in my veins’ as it were.
When I was contemplating on this, I initially felt this compulsion as being located in the heart rather as one would feel a burning passion. I soon remembered having watched a time-lapse video of the early formation of a foetus and watching the cells magically transform into backbone cells and align themselves such they formed an initial basic structure upon which myriad upon myriad of other similarly transformed specific-purpose cells would eventually arrange themselves over many months until a brand-new, unique, never been seen before human being was ready to emerge from the womb and begin the process of living an independent life. After the rudimentary microscopic backbone was formed, one of the very next cell types to transform from the next cell divisions were heart muscle cells, each one of which twitched such that as they began to collect together they eventually formed a pulsation or beating whole – the beginnings of a human heart, the essential blood pumping organ that gives vitality to a human body.
Hence my description of my compulsion as something that ‘flows in the veins’ as it were, since the heart is a collection of self-articulating cells, the nature of the formation of which is inconceivable even when being so privileged to witnessing it happen. The ‘in my veins’ description more closely describes the only conclusion that I have been able to come up with – it’s in fact my destiny to have this compulsion in that it is what the universe born me to do.
Well, dawn has dawned and it’s time for that particularly delicious first cup of coffee for the day. I see my post to you has moved on from the subject of intent to that of destiny – interesting business writing, as you well know – I never quite know what I am going to write about when I start and certainly never know where it will lead to.
All the best to you …
Cheers … Peter
Mail Out 16
Vineeto to Subscriber No. 2
SUBSCRIBER NO. 2 [...]
May I ask, Vineeto, is the innate actual caring that Peter has described also your experience? Or, perhaps I could ask the more general question: have you (yet) noticed any intrinsic qualities of the actual Vineeto that, like Peter’s caring, seem to be inseparable from you (ie. your very flesh and blood and bones)? Any aspects of your actual self that you are surprised to discover?
It’ll be really interesting to learn, as time goes by, how much of actual freedom is common, intrinsic to the condition itself, and how much varies according to the individual. (I’m increasingly confident that I’ll find out from experience one day too).
I have already taken note of the two things you have (all three) emphasised that eventually delivered the goods:
I’m sure I’ll have some specific questions in due course, but for now I’d like to just sit back and enjoy whatever you have to report as you settle to your new lives.
Thanks a million, and all the best.
Cheers, No.. 2.
VINEETO: Hi No. 2,
This is just a short description of my life in the last few days that might help you understand ‘any intrinsic qualities of the actual Vineeto’.
This is my annual holiday and as we said all three of us are moored at the navigable head of a remote river-system. What I am busy spending most of my day with, together with the only other two people presently in the actual world, is setting up the announcement page, changing the look of the website, setting up a mail out facility, responding to heaps of letters and questions coming in, conferring with Richard and Peter as to who answers whom, posting the mailed out emails on the website, downloading new questions, while Richard is subscribing new subscribers and posting all our posts in a fiddly rich-text-only system onto the mail server. During breakfast, elevenses or dinner we also find time for frivolities, play or discussing the events of the day.
In short – I am doing whatever presents itself as the next step to do in bringing peace on earth a little bit closer to fruition.
There is simply no choice to do otherwise as my personal agenda has ceased to exist with the identity.
It’s the only game to play in ‘town’ and any and all of you are welcome to join us here in the actual world to play this game with us.
Nice to chat with you again.
Mail Out 21
Vineeto to Subscriber No. 2
VINEETO: Hi No. 2, This is just a short description of my life in the last few days that might help you understand ‘any intrinsic qualities of the actual Vineeto’. [...] In short – I am doing whatever presents itself as the next step to do in bringing peace on earth a little bit closer to fruition.
There is simply no choice to do otherwise as my personal agenda has ceased to exist with the identity.
SUBSCRIBER NO. 2: Ah, this last bit says it all. This choicelessness is where freedom and ‘compulsion’ meet as one / are the same. No personal agenda, therefore *freedom to care*.
This is the same as Peter’s *compulsion to care* ... for lack of any other possibility.
VINEETO: Ah, No. 2, you’ve done it again! I find it fascinating that you were the only person who could work out for himself that a ‘compulsion to care’ as Peter so raw-ly expressed it in his early days of being actually free, described an emotionless ‘compulsion’, even though his choice of the word was influenced by a ghost from the past.
You are also one of the very few people on the subscriber list who unequivocally take Richard’s confirmation and Peter and my reports that we are actually free as the fact it is and are thusly able to derive the most benefit and understanding from our report. Vis:
SUBSCRIBER NO. 2: I’ve lately been contemplating what really drives my own quest for actual freedom. I think I can now put my finger on it, and I put it to you all to invite criticism / feedback / confirmation / anything you think is appropriate.
I could best describe it as a yearning for the ultimate clarity and understanding and meaning ... a yearning to emerge out of all the obscures and muddles human intelligence. I am not talking about mere intellectual clarity here; I mean the absolute existential clarity that comes from being an intelligent human organism in the inescapable stillness and purity of the actual. When I think of the clarity and freedom and benevolence this affords, it blows me away. This is what I yearn for more than anything else in the world.
This is where my adult-life-long ambition to ‘find a better way to be sane or go crazy in the attempt’ finds its fulfillment.
VINEETO: Correct me if I am wrong but reading your description reminds me of Richard’s search for the ultimate meaning of life, which he often said he experienced whenever he had a PCE and which quest irrevocably stopped when he became actually free in 1992. He wrote about it in his journal –
Is this something you can relate to?
SUBSCRIBER NO. 2: Although this *is* an intensely personal desire, it is also very much an altruistic one. I am just not willing to suffer / tolerate the blind-leading-the-blind any more.
I want/ need to be able to find my own way out of the dreams of identity (personal, collective and instinctual) in order to stand directly in the clear, and thus be *able* to do more for others than repeat the tired old ‘wisdom’ of the ages (while remaining miserable, malicious and confused myself). So this is where an intense personal interest/ desire meets up with an overarching altruistic aim. I want to *be* this clarity. *Actually* be it. For my sake and for everyone’s sake.
VINEETO: Ah, No. 2, this statement of yours brings tears of joy to my eyes – for the very intimacy that comes effortless across to where I sit and read your words – and from here, where I am I can tell you that the actual world has all that you are looking for and much, much more. It’s everyone’s birthright, it’s everyone’s destiny – this is the blessed release for everyone’s yearning (just that most people don’t know it and you do).
I am sure I will get to explore and experience so much more the longer I am living in the actual world but I have already experienced, every day, every waking hour, the delight of having nothing more to achieve, nothing more to search for, nothing more to understand as far as the ultimate meaning of life is concerned. Being here, in this delicious, friendly, beneficial and magical universe so ordinary and yet so full of surprises, in this precise moment in time, is utterly fulfilling, not only because all desires have disappeared but particularly because I more and more experientially comprehend that the very living of what I am is the very meaning I have always been searching for all my life.
SUBSCRIBER NO. 2: The great thing is: all the most desirable ends are linked in the end: effortless benevolence, freedom to care, clarity, unending delight, actual intimacy, peace-on-earth, unilateral contribution to global peace and harmony... all different aspects of / different ways of describing the actual condition of the human organism when freed from ‘self’. Cheers, No. 2.
VINEETO: As Richard said in the above quote – Richard: ‘Nevertheless, there is much more to being alive. Peace-on-earth is not the be all and end all of life.’ Richard’s Journal, Article Twenty-Five
Peace-on-earth, the desire of the identity for peace-on-earth is the means to an end and the end is far, far bigger than peace-on-earth, which is quite a big thing already. The desire for peace for everybody, the near-actual caring for everybody (which always includes yourself, of course) and the yearning for a near-actual intimacy with your fellow human beings is what carries your across personal fears and panic attacks when the identity throws its survival-driven tantrums.
A goal beyond one’s personal happiness is required to cross or slide on past the wall of fear (as we recently termed it) or to overcome nagging doubts and buckling knees in the face of extinction. Without it you would be defeated by confusion, everlasting hesitation and pernicious power play.
I found near-actual caring for others to be the path to the gate to an actual freedom for both Peter and I but once I am here, as this flesh-and-blood only, in the actual world, actual caring comes effortless as a by-product of actual intimacy and is no longer the means to an end but the delicious fellowship regard that comes with the territory of having discovered something so magical, so precious, that I can’t help but want to share it with everyone.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write this to you. It gave me a memory of the sweetness that the identity experienced when ‘she’ was soo close to her destiny.
Cheers ... and cheers ... and cheers to you No. 2.