Actual Freedom – General Correspondence

General Correspondence

Page Number Two


Respondent No. 1

June 07 1997

RESPONDENT: In the first paragraph of the introduction is the line: ‘No-one dares to question the Teaching itself’. What do you mean by that, exactly? Do you mean to examine Love or Compassion or The Truth, etc.? The really tricky one to examine of all of these is ‘The Truth’ ... not to speak of ‘No-Mind’, ‘The Void’, ‘Emptiness’, ‘Silence’, ‘That’, etc. How would you suggest questioning their Teachings, specifically?

RICHARD: The Teachings themselves definitely need to be questioned – and questioned thoroughly. Even a brief study of history would show that the Teachings – which have been around for at least three thousand years – simply have not worked. There is as much war, murder, torture, rape, domestic violence and corruption now as then. If Love Agapé and Divine Compassion are going to ‘fix things up’ then the question needs to be asked: Why is it taking so long? Is not three thousand plus years long enough to test the efficacy of these Divine solutions to humankind’s plight? The proof of anything lies in the practical working out of it physically, here on earth. It is of no use to propose that fulfilment lies only on the other side of physical death ... there is simply no way to verify this. I have always been concerned about our lot here on earth and am only interested in a practical solution to the Human Condition. How many millions of well-meaning peoples have assiduously put these Teachings into practice only to fail – and then blame themselves for not ‘doing them properly’? I maintain that they have indeed ‘done them properly’ and that it is the Teachings that are lacking, not the diligent devotees. Of course, there are many, many disciples who do not pursue their Spiritual Practice with sufficient diligence, but to suggest that everybody who has ever lived, and those who are still living, are all lazy when it comes to putting the Teachings into practice is stretching credulity too much. Therefore it behoves one to question ... and question deeply.

(i) Love: Love – both secular and divine – has been revered as the ‘cure-all’ for just about everything. So why has it not done its job? To understand this, one needs to comprehend that for love to exist at all there must be separation between ‘me’ and the person, the persons, the object or the god that ‘I’ am to love. Not for nothing is the statement ‘Love is a bridge’ promoted abroad for all and sundry to take in. My question is: A ‘bridge’ between what two shores? Who are the two ‘I’s that are separate? Do ‘I’ exist, actually exist? ‘I’ may be real, but am ‘I’ actual? If ‘I’ am an illusion then any ‘bridge’ will only reinforce ‘my’ existence ... my very ‘real’ existence. If a person is said to be ‘egotistic’ or ‘ego-driven’, then a goodly dose of love is advised to ameliorate the phenomenon. Yet the persona – the identity, the self – is still in existence ... a loving and lovable persona, of course, but still here. ‘I’ am the ‘spanner in the works’ and to cover my ‘self’ over with a coating of love is to gild the lily. ‘I’ still lurk around, shielded now by love, wreaking my mischief in disguise.

Also, intrinsic to the nature of love is its – always unfulfilled – promise of eternity. Our life here on earth has a time-span, so what use is a spurious Eternal Bliss in some conjectured After-Life? Love has produced wars, murders, rapes and violence since time immemorial ... it staggers me that it still retains its credibility. To kill for ‘Love of Country’ or ‘Love of God’ is surely proof enough for any discerning person. Then there are those ‘Crimes of Passion’ that are brought about by love’s constant companions: possessiveness, jealousy and envy. If these examples are too extreme then what about the heartache, the longing, the pining and the yearning that all peoples report as accompanying love’s bliss? This leads to the search for ‘True Love’ which, supposedly, does not induce these unpleasant characteristics so common to everybody’s experience of love. ‘True Love’ is simply a fiction ... it is impossible to manifest it here on earth, hence the notion of an After-Life to encompass it. To repeat: Love never delivers on its implied promise. It never has done nor ever will. Its days are numbered, as more and more people are beginning to notice that love itself – not the human being – is failing to live up to its reputation again and again.

(ii) Compassion: It is a little easier to question Divine Compassion as it reveals its secret agenda more readily than Love Agapé. First of all the word ‘compassion’ comes from the Latin root ‘Passio’ which relates to the Greek root ‘Pathos’. ‘Compassion’ then, literally means ‘communal pathos’ or ‘pathos in common’ ... in other words: Sorrow in common with the other, or others. In order to feel compassion – for compassion is indeed but a feeling – one must first be in sorrow oneself. All of humankind is, at base, living in sorrow; all normal people therefore seek consolation and solace to help them live through their sadness, their loneliness, their grief, their despair. This has been the way for century upon century, without anyone questioning the validity of this entire process. Compassion – the consolation and solace engendered – does absolutely nothing to eradicate the original sorrow. It is merely soothed and thus covered over which, to the one in grief, is a welcome reprieve from the anguish of despair. This factor is not what is under dispute; what is worthy of question is the ongoing feasibility of consolation and solace as being a permanent ‘cure-all’ for sorrow.

Obviously it is not. The Enlightened Beings manifest Divine Compassion – considered superior to secular compassion – and tout it as being the ultimate ‘cure-all’ for humankind’s sorrow. Unfortunately for the success of Divine Compassion, no-one in these thousands of years has ever been cured. Temporary or partial cessation of suffering, yes ... but the total extirpation of sorrow, no. The reason for the failure of Divine Compassion is obvious: It also has its roots in sorrow – Universal Sorrow – this time. Read any of these Master’s words assiduously and you will find reference to them sitting in Aloneness. From this Aloneness they feel a sense of Oneness with all sentient beings ... a ‘bridge’ between persona’s again. Thus the same game as is being played out on the secular level is being played out on the divine level. They have only transcended duality, not expunged it. A Self is still in existence keeping separation going and necessitating a bridge to others ... and all of existence. As a Self is still operating, then Good and Bad, Right and Wrong are still ‘alive’ ... simply covered over with a coating of love to protect the new persona.

(iii) The Truth: ‘The Truth’ is not all that tricky to question ... for it is but a delusion born out of an illusion. There are two ways to approach The Truth: through Love or via Beauty. Enough has already been said, for now, about Love’s shortcomings to regard any Truth arrived at via Love to immediately come under a cloud of outright suspicion. So to question Beauty: Western philosophers have long been of the opinion that in order to ‘do’ philosophy correctly, one must study and master the higher realms of mathematics. The reason for this is that to feel assured that a particular philosophical hypothesis is sound it must have an ‘elegance’ – identical to the ‘elegance’ of a mathematical equation. ‘Elegance’ is the mathematician’s and philosopher’s favoured word for Beauty. Many a time have I read in a philosophical treatise the author extolling the virtues of the ‘elegance’ of the particular theory. Beauty, they all state, contains The Truth ... it is intrinsic to the nature of Beauty that it points to The Truth, just as it is intrinsic in the nature of Love to promise Eternity. Or the same as is intrinsic in Suffering that it is Good for one – it implies that it ‘makes one stronger’. These are all feelings ... and just because a feeling makes it seem Right, it is not necessarily correct. A feeling – an emotion or a passion – is a feeling, not a fact. Feelings, whilst being very ‘real’, are not actual.

Eastern philosophers opt for what Westerners consider to be the more esoteric approach to The Truth ... which amounts to a spiritual search for meaning. Although Western philosophy is also – at root – spiritual, it is considered to be more exoteric – and therefore more likely to be true. ‘No-Mind’, ‘The Void’, ‘Emptiness’ and so on are the Eastern philosopher’s discovery of their version of The Truth as revealed to them in their super-charged imagination. I say ‘super-charged’ because their meditation practices are designed specifically to ‘still the mind’ and ‘stop thought’. If conducted successfully, imagination has a field day and conjures up all kinds of visions ... it is pertinent to this subject to realise that a pious Christian will have visions of Mr. Yeshua the Nazarene, not visions of Mr. Krishna. The same applies to a fervent Hindu, in reverse: a vision of Mr. Krishna but not of Mr. Yeshua the Nazarene. A devout Buddhist will have visions of Mr. Gotama the Sakyan – and his Teaching of No-Mind, The Void and Emptiness. All these versions of The Truth are, quite obviously, culturally determined and therefore not a fact. A person living in actual freedom has no way of being side-tracked into this mine-field of delusion as it is the identity and self that generate imagination. I lost the faculty to imagine when I dissolved the Self ... I simply cannot visualise anything in my ‘mind’s eye’ for I do not have one. I have no imagination whatsoever.

To be freed from imagination and feelings is a blessed release into the actual. Here, in this actual world, the ‘Mystery Of Life’ lies revealed all about. The search for meaning amidst the debris of the much-vaunted human hopes and dreams and schemes has come to its timely end in me. I am living in peace and tranquillity; a meaningful peace and tranquillity. Life is intrinsically purposeful, the reason for existence lies openly all around. Being in this very air I live in, I am constantly aware of it; I breathe it in and out; I see it, I hear it, I taste it, I smell it, I touch it, all of the time. It never goes away – nor has it ever been away. ‘I’ was standing in the way of meaning.

‘Humanity’, which gave birth to ‘me’, was being sustained by ‘me’ remaining as a ‘being’. ‘I’ am forever fettered by the Human Condition. The species known as ‘humanity’ has searched for an Ultimate Fulfilment within the arena of the Human Condition for all of history. Such a search is endless and futile, for it is a search within an illusion. Only further illusions – further states of ‘being’ – can be found there ... or delusions. Becoming Divine is a delusion – a state of ‘Being’ that is an insult to intelligence. ‘I’ will never find the ultimate fulfilment for ‘I’ am standing in the way of the ‘Mystery of Life’ being revealed. There is no way out, ‘I’ am doomed. ‘I’ must, inevitably, cease to ‘be’. Instead of bemoaning ‘my’ fate and vainly searching for an escape, ‘I’ can see ‘myself’ for what ‘I’ am. This seeing is the beginning of the ending of ‘me’. The extinction of ‘me’ is the ultimate sacrifice ‘I’ can make to ensure the possibility of peace-on-earth for not only me but for all humankind.

I find myself here, in the world as-it-is. A vast stillness lies all around, abounding with purity. Beneficence, an active kindness, overflows in all directions, imbuing everything with unimaginable aliveness. For me to be able to be here at all was a blessing that only ‘I’ could grant, because nobody else could do it for me. I am full of admiration for the ‘me’ that dared to do such a thing. I owe all that I experience now to ‘me’. I salute ‘my’ audacity. And what an adventure it was ... and still is. These are the wondrous workings of the exquisite nature of life – who would have it any other way?


Respondent No. 2

December 01 1997

RESPONDENT: I recently went through your dialogue. My reflections are as follows:

1. Law of conservation of Energy states that Energy can neither be created nor be destroyed.

2. As long as the person is alive the body is in activity. However, when the energy is no longer able to activate the body due to malfunction of the body the body perishes. (Like in a computer the electricity is no longer able to activate it if the hardware fails).

3. Even when the body perishes the energy continues to be!!

4. This energy is called the Soul, the Atman, the Self etc. etc.

5. However while the energy is in the body due to ignorance we identify ourselves with the body not with the Atman.

6. The word ‘religion’ is derived from Latin. ‘Re’ means back, again. ‘Legare’ means to bind, to unite. Etymologically speaking religion means that which binds one back to the origin.

7. The purpose of religious teaching is to remove the Ignorance: ‘I am the Body’.

8. We as humans are an evolved being but not yet evolved to understand many things. A dog for example may not understand many things we as humans do.

9. Can you tell me how far the space around us extends. Can that space end somewhere? If so what is beyond that?

10. Can you tell me how we came in to being? (Did the chicken come first or the egg ?)

11. Can you tell me how far you can go back on time? 1000 B.C.? One Million B.C.? Before that what ?

12. As one of the Hindu Saints said: ‘Why are we wasting time in analysing and arguing all this – discover the Self in you!!’

13. Everyone at all times is performing an activity knowingly or unknowingly to keep himself or herself happy and as long as we seek this happiness identifying ourselves with this body the happiness can only be temporary since the body dies and is reborn every moment. (Like you). And also seeking happiness through the body will abide by the law of nature where every action has equal and opposite reaction. Pleasure is followed by Pain.

14. So, discover the Self in you through meditation, through contemplation, and thou shalt realize the Self in you and that Self alone is real.

15. If someone asks me to prove this I am as lost as I would be to convince somebody how sweet tastes and that it tastes good. These are all but experiences.

RICHARD: I am only too pleased to respond to your reflections ... I will answer point by point as a detailed account of the views expressed are essential if one is to comprehend the vast difference between an altered state of consciousness such as Spiritual Enlightenment and an actual freedom wherein there is a condition of pure consciousness.

1. Law of conservation of Energy states that Energy can neither be created nor be destroyed.

Anyone who uses capitalisation is referring to something that is Sacred, Holy, Hallowed, Divine, Heavenly, Sanctified, Sacrosanct, Otherworldly and so on. In other words: God. As you have capitalised the word ‘energy’, I take it that you are referring to some god, by whatever name. As you are therefore attempting to mix science and religion, your observation does not mean anything factual at all.

2. As long as the person is alive the body is in activity. However, when the energy is no longer able to activate the body due to malfunction of the body, the body perishes. (Like in a computer the electricity is no longer able to activate it if the hardware fails).

Now that you are using a small ‘e’ for energy, I take it that you mean the animating energy that determines that a body is alive and breathing. As this energy is dependent upon the cellular structure of the body being in an active phase, not in entropy, then when the body dies, this energy dies with it. That is it. Finish.

3. Even when the body perishes the energy continues to be!!

Not so, as I explained above. You are referring to some metaphysical entity like a ‘soul’, or some such thing, which survives the death of the body. Any such entity is clearly a psychic projection of the psychological entity that is known as the ‘self’ which, not being actual, wishes to perpetuate its apparent existence for all eternity. This is but a delusion born out of an illusion. The self, whilst being real – sometimes very real – is not actual.

4. This energy is called the Soul, the Atman, the Self etc. etc.

Yes, I know it is called by these names. These are all metaphysical concepts and have no facticity whatsoever. The apparent existence of a soul requires belief ... etymologically the word ‘believe’ means: ‘To fervently wish to be true’.

5. However while the energy is in the body due to ignorance we identify ourselves with the body not with the Atman.

It is ignorance (that is, ignoring a fact) to identify with the ‘Atman’ (an Indian religious concept). It is sensible to understand that I am this body.

6. The word ‘religion’ is derived from Latin. ‘Re’ means back, again. ‘Legare’ means to bind, to unite. Etymologically speaking religion means that which binds one back to the origin.

So, some people like to believe that their origin is some god. The fact is that my origin was an ova and a spermatozoa uniting.

7. The purpose of religious teaching is to remove the Ignorance: ‘I am the Body’.

The purpose of religious teaching is to brainwash people into believing nonsense instead of facts and actuality. I am this body; I am the sense organs: this seeing is me, this hearing is me, this tasting is me, this touching is me, this smelling is me, and this thinking is me. Whereas ‘I’, the psychological entity, am inside the body: looking out through ‘my’ eyes as if looking out through a window, listening through ‘my’ ears as if they were microphones, tasting through ‘my’ tongue, touching through ‘my’ skin, smelling through ‘my’ nose, and thinking through ‘my’ brain. Of course ‘I’ must feel isolated, alienated, alone and lonely, for ‘I’ am cut off from the magnificence of the actual world – the world as-it-is. Of course ‘I’ must invent a god to seek union with so as to end my loneliness and sorrow.

8. We as humans are an evolved being but not yet evolved to understand many things. A dog for example may not understand many things we as humans do.

It is true that a dog does not understand as many things as humans do. But why do you bring evolution into what is basically a religious discussion that you are having? Does your god want you to spend millions of years evolving just so that you can come to understand that you are god? What sense does that make? To condemn you to countless rebirths of suffering and sorrow caused by an in-built ignorance that only evolution can undo sounds suspiciously like a very sick god, to me.

9. Can you tell me how far the space around us extends. Can that space end somewhere? If so what is beyond that?

Space is infinite, so it extends indefinitely. As it is infinite, it can not end somewhere. As it does not end, there is nothing beyond the universe. It is ‘I’ who, being a fiction, desires Immortality to perpetuate ‘my’ real existence for all of Eternity – thus secretly despising this body and this physical life – and it is ‘I’ who, being a central figure in ‘my’ scheme of things, proposes that there is an outside to this material universe. There is not. This universe has no edges ... which means that there is no centre either. With no centre to existence we are nowhere in particular. Being here, as an actuality, is to be anywhere at all, for infinity is everywhere all at once.

10. Can you tell me how we came in to being? (Did the chicken come first or the egg?)

We came into being through sexual intercourse, which unites the ova and the spermatozoa. The embryo thus formed by the rapid doubling of this first cell spends nine months being nourished in the womb. Then one is born into the physical world of sensual pleasure and delight.

As for the hoary question of the chicken and the egg scenario so beloved of pedants ... it is predicated upon there being a beginning to the universe. The universe, being infinite, had no beginning and has no end. This means that there is no middle either. Thus we are already here in space and it is always now in time.

11. Can you tell me how far you can go back in time? 1000 B.C.? One Million B.C.? Before that what?

Time is eternal; you can go back forever. However, why not try being here ... where this moment is happening? By letting go of the self – the ‘I’ that one holds so dear – then one is being here as-I-am, in the actual world. Being here as-I-am is to be blithe and gay, for life is a delightful adventure in itself. I do not have to do anything to ‘get a thrill’ for it is thrilling to realise, each moment again, that I am actually here. I am fresh, ever-new ... I have never been here before. All that is happening is happening for the first time. Never before in human history has this particular moment occurred, so of course it is exciting. There is no way of knowing what will happen next – how much more stimulated can one be than this? Yet there is an utter safety in all this, for in the actual world nothing can go wrong. The actual world is epitomised by a perfection that is unassailable ... whatever happens is appropriate to the circumstances. Being here as-I-am enables one to be aware of the grand scheme of things, and everything falls into place. A vast understanding, beyond normal human comprehension, is instantly available to one who is genuine. This actual world is rich and vital in all its happening. I am the universe experiencing itself in all its splendour and magnificence. It is abundant, bountiful, luscious ... I luxuriate in being here, so fantastic is it to be alive, to be me as I actually am.

12. As one of the Hindu Saints said: ‘Why are we wasting time in analysing and arguing all this – discover the Self in you!!’

Many of the Hindu Saints have discovered the Self ... and they are exporting their nonsense to all those gullible peoples in the West who are eager for mystical experience. The trouble with people who discard the god of Christianity is that they do not realise that by turning to the Eastern spirituality they have effectively jumped out of the frying pan into the fire. Eastern spirituality is religion ... merely in a different form to what people in the west have been raised to believe in. And it is of no use to protest that Hindu spirituality is not a religion for I have been to India some years ago and studied Hinduism for myself. It is those bits about realising oneself to be ‘That’, by whatever name, that sounds so convincing to the Western mind that is desperately looking for answers. The Christian conditioning actually sets up the situation for a thinking person to be susceptible to the insidious doctrines of the East. At the end of the line there is always a god of some description, lurking in disguise.

13. Everyone at all times is performing an activity knowingly or unknowingly to keep himself or herself happy and as long as we seek this happiness identifying ourselves with this body the happiness can only be temporary since the body dies and is reborn every moment. (Like you). And also seeking happiness through the body will abide by the law of nature where every action has equal and opposite reaction. Pleasure is followed by Pain.

I beg to differ: Happiness is permanent because this body ‘dies’ and is ‘born’ every moment. Time has no duration when the immediate is the ultimate. This moment takes no time at all to be here. It is as if nothing has occurred, for not only is the future not here, but the past does not exist either. If there is no beginning and no end, there is no middle. There are things happening, but it is as if nothing has happened or will happen. Only this moment exists. This moment has no duration, it takes no time at all to occur – which gives rise to the inaccurate notion that it is ‘Timeless’. This is an institutionalised delusion, for it stems from the egocentric feeling that ‘I’ am ‘Immortal’, that ‘I’ am ‘Eternal’.

Apperception reveals that this moment is hanging in time, it is in a realm of its own. This moment is perennial, not timeless. I am perpetually here – for the term of my natural life – as this moment is; I am not ‘Eternally Present’. What creates the feeling that the present is timeless is that human beings are normally out of time. Yet time is intimate. It is so intimate that I am not separate from it. Whereas ‘I’, as a human, have separated ‘myself’ from time by ‘being’. ‘Being’ is to mistakenly take this body being here as containing an ‘I’, a psychological entity. To ‘be’ is to take this moment of being alive personally – as proof of ‘my’ subjective existence. ‘I’ am an illusion; if ‘I’ think and feel that ‘I’ do exist, then ‘I’ am outside of time. ‘I’ am forever complaining that there is ‘not enough hours in the day’, or ‘I am always running out of time’, or ‘I am always catching up with time’, or ‘I am always behind time’.

With no ‘I’ whatsoever to keep me out of this moment in time, I am pure innocence personified, for I am literally free from sin and guilt. I am untouched by evil; no malice exists anywhere in this body. I am utterly innocent. Innocence, that much abused word, has come to its full flowering in me. I am easily able to be freely ingenuous – noble in character – without any effort at all. The purity of being alive at this moment in time is so unlike the strictures of morality – whereupon the entity struggles in vain to resemble the purity of the actual – inasmuch as integrity is bestowed gratuitously. I can live unequivocally, endowed with a natural grace and dignity, in a magical wonderland. To thus live candidly, in arrant innocence, is a remarkable condition of excellence.

This moment of being alive has never happened before and will never happen again. It is unique. As it is always this moment already, everything is immediately peerless. Therefore it is never boring ... it is ever-fresh ... I am never boring ... I am ever-fresh. I have never been here before ... everything is happening for the very first time ... I am happening for the very first time. Because I am ever-new, I am automatically innocent. Innocence prevails where time has no duration.

The perpetual purity of this moment of being alive actually endows perennial happiness.

14. So, discover the Self in you through meditation, through contemplation, and thou shalt realize the Self in you and that Self alone is real.

The Self may be real, but it is not actual. You will have noticed by now, surely, that I have no intention at all of ‘meditating’ and realising ‘The Self’ in me. I did that back in 1981 and remained stuck in the Altered State of Consciousness called Enlightenment, Nirvana, Samadhi, Satori and so on, for eleven years. That was accomplished by dissolving the ego. In 1992 I dissolved the soul in a like manner and thus ‘The Self’ disappeared along with it. Nowadays, I have no identity whatsoever ... and it is a constant delight to be here, free from malice and sorrow. I am happy and harmless.

15. If someone asks me to prove this I am as lost as I would be to convince somebody how sweet tastes and that it tastes good. These are all but experiences.

It is all right – I know the taste of sweet for I was living in Heavenly Bliss, Love Agapé and Divine Compassion for eleven years. I had arrived. I had become Awakened to the ‘Greater Reality’ in 1981. I was Heavenly Bliss, Love Agapé and Divine Compassion ... there was no separation between me and The Absolute. I had a Divine Sense of Mission to spread ‘The Word’ and I embarked on fulfilling my ‘Sacred Duty’, gathering some disciples on the way, until 1984. Then I started to question just what I was doing and just what had happened to me. Something seemed to be wrong ... this had all been done before by other Masters and Messiahs, Saints and Sages, Avatars and Saviours, to no avail. In fact, instead of bringing Love and Peace, they had left in their wake much bloodshed and hatred ... and I was one of them! Accordingly I travelled to India to find out for myself exactly what was amiss with this whole Enlightenment business by meeting some of these hallowed Gurus and imbibing the centuries of Eastern Spiritual Tradition for myself, instead of merely reading about it in books.

It was to take me eleven years to get out of this massive delusion I was living in and go beyond it to arrive at where I am today. It was eleven years of coming to terms with the understanding that what I was living was megalomania – a Delusion of Grandeur – and that it was what every human being believed in in some way, shape or form ... but that is another story. Today, I am no longer an Enlightened Master living in an Exalted State of Being ... I am me-as-this-body only, a fellow human being who has no sorrow or malice whatsoever to transcend; hence I am both happy and harmless.

It is a most estimable condition to be in.


Respondent No. 3

April 23 1998:

RESPONDENT: Hi, I had found your writings yesterday on this superb world communicator (which is also new for me). I’ve just read a few pages, yet printed out everything, but I saw directly that you are what I am – or was once, during your ‘enlightened period’? I know ‘there’s more to come’ for ‘me’, for the Reality. I know about this parasites, what I call ‘the lower human(s)’. My English is not that good, but I would like to send you ‘my story’. First I have to translate it, and that will take some time. It all took place in Feb. 1994, in prison, were I served ten years for bank robbery (I got out for two weeks ago). I’ll also read the most of your writings before I take further contact. I’m happy to know that you will answer me from Your point of Awareness (which is not a ‘point’ at all). I’m located in Sweden, Scandinavia. Greetings to Devika! (You may, if you can ‘take the time’, send me some words about these lines.

RICHARD: Thank you for your response to the actualism web-page. I would most certainly be interested to hear your story about your experience as soon as you get it translated. There needs to be more written about these matters than is currently available, as most writing is of the Eastern esoteric kind. We in the West have a priceless opportunity to break through all the mysticism that has surrounded the Altered States Of Consciousness for centuries. Now that there is mass communication around the world, no one is locked into their particular culture and bound by their cultural icons. Finally there is a chance for a global understanding.

Freedom, to be worthy of the name, must be an actual freedom, here on earth, in this life-time, as this body.

You say that you know that there is ‘more to come’ ... this is the area I would be most interested in pursuing as my experience is of such an amazing freedom that this planet earth is a veritable wonder-land. It is truly magnificent to be alive today in this world as-it-is ... perfection and individual peace-on-earth has been here all along, it just needed to become apparent to one who is prepared to go all the way into exploring life, the universe and what it is to be a human being ... and discovering the magical fairy-tale-like joy and delight of being here now in the infinitude of this universe.

I consider your English to be fine ... it is easily understood. I only have one language, so I have the utmost admiration for anyone with more than one who can translate their experience successfully into another language. I look forward to hearing more from you.

I am relatively new to the Internet and would like to see if there can be enough interest generated to set up an actual freedom mailing list later on in the year for those who are not getting anywhere with the more traditional – the ‘Tried and True’ – ways of living freely. The actualism forum is but a small start. Please keep in touch, if you will.

July 29 1998

RESPONDENT: After sending you my first E-Mail, I reflected that I could as well have written ‘there is more to lose’ instead of ‘there is more to come’. Richard, I have not read any of your writings (except for some chapters by UG Krishnamurti, which were interesting) and the writings of Peter, which I could not acknowledge in some major questions.

The man I was before is no longer.

There were some more experiences related to matter (communication with a field of grass, for a example) and a year later a Christ-experience.

There occurred a vibrating in my cerebral cortex, like small, small electric sparks. The book was about universal love and its structure. The activity in my brain was still there the next day and after being locked in, in the evening, the activity increased. The top of my head suddenly opened! I become consciously aware and in control of all the energy – negative and positive – that enclosed my being.

My brain had become warm – not the skull – it felt like it was bathing in hot water. The following days the process continued with the electric activity and the warmth; I experienced how my brain/consciousness enlarged in ‘volume’ – it felt like I got a giant head, but it was merely a inward expansion. One day a light like a bulb in the centre of my (inward) eyesight occurred in my brain and stayed there for some days.

One evening my whole brain/consciousness/world suddenly exploded in a Power of Light ... the Power was positive/loving. I reflected that this Power could as well have totally destroyed my brain, but all that had previously occurred in the process had made it possible to receive this Power on positive basis. Cleansed in this Power of Light, I, the conscious me, merged with what I call my ‘Divine True Me’ or ‘Self’ (The Atman) in an outstanding cosmic dimension without limits: I was a whole part of the Whole. The world disappeared as a shadow or a dream: This was/is the Reality behind the reality. The Divinity behind the secular and dialectic world/cosmos. I was (am) Divine.

This had happened, this cosmic rebirth to Truth and Reality. It was and is all a part of a Plan. There was a dialogue between ‘the part and the whole’ – yet I was both – and I was told that I had a mission in this lifetime.

Within this – The Divine True Self – I experienced and lived out, in an unspeakable cosmic expression, that my being/essence has a future/existence that is unlimited/glorified ... the endless cosmos is my playground – my Leela! Everything in Creation is in totally Perfect Order. Then the ‘Divine True Self’ merged with what I call The Absolute: That which Is, The Source to Everything and All. The Only that Really Exist. Everything else exists in and through ‘This’ ... Brahman. For a moment I merged and melted into This and Became IT ALL.

I became aware of the physical world and the body, but in a transcendent way. With me was what I call The Spirit and this was an unknown greatness for the former sole inhabitant in the body ... the ego/the personality/the mind. The Spirit stayed with me for two days. I just knew that it was in this kind of state that Jesus walked on earth. The mind had up to then thought itself to be the sole master of this being, but now its life, its reality were broken and I could suddenly, inwardly, see and follow ‘my’ whole life-span, from the very beginning aeons back to the first ‘spark’, the first cause. This first ‘something’, caused a second which caused a third and so on. All the way up to now ... to me. The Spirit supervised this event, which He had brought about, and revealed it to be an illusion.

RICHARD: Thank you for your E-Mail detailing your metaphysical experiences in the prison of Kumla (known as the toughest in Sweden) back in February 1994 and its subsequent effects on your being and awareness. You say that you have not read any of my writing ... may I suggest that you at least read about my experiences? You will find it on my Web Page under ‘A Brief Personal History’... then we may be able to have a practical and therefore fruitful discussion.


Respondent No. 4

RESPONDENT: Back in about 1980 or so, I did a stint working in the woods – piling slash and trail maintenance in the National Forests for a couple years. I spent almost all my time in the wilderness at that time. In between jobs, on a sunny afternoon, in the backyard of where I was living at the foot of a mountain ... I had a blanket out and was doing my daily yoga stretches. From various yoga teachers, the phenomenon of suddenly trembling and the mind spinning towards dizziness and potential unconsciousness had been explained as ‘the astral body trying to escape from the physical’ and I had been told ‘Just look at your hands until it passes, and ground yourself’.

Well, when this happened again, I took the advice and just stared at my hands. They kept vibrating and with a shimmery essence – and when I looked up – suddenly I could see every leaf on every tree, every blade of grass, all the bugs and grains of dirt, every bird on every single branch, in a 180 degree circumference all around my head, all at the same time, all at once. It was beyond incredible.

As I am near-sighted, and did not have on either contact lenses or glasses, and still saw everything like akin to a magnifying glass, I only know that I could not possibly being seeing with my physical eyes.

I have hesitated to share this with people who seem to consist of competitive ‘who is most enlightened’ egos, and misogynists. At the time, I was not seeking that enlightenment; in fact it freaked me out forever. And I do not know the ‘intellectual jargon’ either eastern or western; just that it gave me a unique perspective on this life.

Now that I know the possibilities, how can I just ruminate on analysis???

RICHARD: I find your description above to be an accurate portrayal of what I have been calling a peak experience. At other times I have named it an actual intimacy, which I defined as: ‘The direct experience of the actuality of people, things and events’. It is a condition wherein the psychological distance disappears and everything is immediate and ultimate.

In actual freedom everything and everybody stands out intense and vivid and dynamic and alive ... the physical world of the senses is experienced as having a magical – almost fairy-tale like – quality wherein the actuality of this corporeal world is indubitably verified and is seen, touched, tasted, smelt and heard to be substantial ... and perfect as-it-is.

Yet Hindu and Buddhist philosophy calls this physical world we all live in Maya ... they say it is unreal ... that it does not exist ... that only the ‘Greater Reality’ – a supernatural dimension beyond the senses – is real. This is why I write so vigorously as I do. We are already all always living in perfection, here-on-earth, if only we acted upon our seeing that this is so in a peak experience ... such as you described so well. They were actual leaves, actual trees, actual grasses, actual birds and actual branches, were they not? Perfection is already here ... all around us ... we are that perfection. And, of course, it is here in space and now in time ... and is only able to be experienced as this body, in this life-time, on this fair planet of ours.

It matters not that you arrived at the experience via yoga ... other people have arrived via drugs, via sex, via art, via just washing the dishes, via just about anything at all. What matters is that one has the experience, remembers the experience and acts upon the experience. Unfortunately, because of acculturation, people ascribe it to ‘transcendence’ or whatever ‘god’ their society holds in esteem and go of searching for the ‘Greater Beyond’ that lies outside of time and space ... indeed, outside of this very universe we all live in.

It is possible to live the experience you had for the twenty four hours of every day. I call it being here. Elsewhere I have described it thus:

‘The real world, which ‘I’ had created out of imagination, is but a veneer pasted over the actual, and to go in search of a ‘Greater Reality’ is to go in the wrong direction. One arrives in the actual by becoming involved, totally involved in being here ... not by practicing detachment. Being here is to put your money where your mouth is, as it were. In being here one is completely immersed. Being here is total inclusion. One demonstrates one’s appreciation of life by partaking fully in existence ... by letting this moment live one. One dedicates oneself to the challenge of being here as the universe’s experience of itself.

‘To be here is to be committed. The potential for this commitment is conceived at the moment of experiencing the perfection of life in a peak experience. This potential can lie dormant for years unless reactivated. Once the veil behind which humanity skulks has been lifted – even momentarily – one has seen for oneself that a place beyond human belief actually exists. Because one has visited the actual world and walked around in it, it would be thought that one could nevermore deny it. But such denial is endemic among humans. The reason for this odd denial is fairly obvious: once the person has reverted to ‘normal’ – to being human again – perfection here-on-earth becomes merely a concept ... and a concept is not the actuality. The grip of reality is so strong that perfection simply does not exist ‘here’, it is in another dimension. It is but a faded dream. The potential can lie dormant forever’.

It is unfortunate indeed to waste this precious moment of being alive by being somewhere else but here.

RESPONDENT: Something about needing to agree on some level on a material reality in order to manifest one (material reality) with 7.5 billion live beings speaking different languages, from different planes, different ages, past histories, different dreams of butterflies. Intellectual jargon provides structure for social interaction; not actual experience. I agree with what you say entirely. As long as a person does not insist that their dream is ‘the only true Truth’ and no one else’s ... I am (somewhat) tolerant of the various descriptions of methods of dreaming.

RICHARD: I was not talking about ‘needing to agree on some level on a material reality in order to manifest one (material reality)’, in which you could then say ‘I agree with what you say entirely’, because you then go on and demonstrate that you do not ‘agree with me entirely’ ... it is a conditional agreement only.

A leaf on a tree is not a ‘dream’; it is not a ‘method of dreaming’; it is not a ‘different dream of butterflies’; it is not ‘intellectual jargon’; it is not that ‘My dream is ‘the only true Truth’ and no one else’s’ ... it is a matter-of-fact actuality.

I have written elsewhere: ‘For many years I mistakenly assumed that words carried a definitive meaning that was common to all peoples speaking the same language ... for example ‘real’ and ‘truth’. But, as different person’s told me things like: ‘That is only your truth’, or: ‘God is real’, I realised that unambiguous words are required. (To a child, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy are ‘real’ and ‘true’). Correspondingly I abandoned ‘real’ and ‘true’ in favour of ‘actual’ and ‘fact’, as experience has demonstrated that no one has been able to tell me that their god is actual or that something is only my fact. Therefore this keyboard is actual (these finger-tips feeling it substantiate this) and it is a fact that these printed letters are forming words on the screen (these eyes seeing it validate this). These things are indisputable and verifiable by any body with the requisite sense-organs’.

Over the years, many, many people have told me that ‘this world is not real’ or that ‘we are only dreaming that we are here’ or that ‘it is a belief that this world exists’ or something similar. I usually invite them to walk through a wall to demonstrate that their statement is correct. When they decline, I have always found it useful to suggest that they put a peg firmly on their nose and a large piece of sticking-plaster over their mouth. This way, within less than two minutes – as they rip the plaster off and gasp for breath – they have a direct experience of the actuality of this very physical world that we all live in. Most people continue to live in a state of denial, however. Such is the strength of belief over fact.

It is unfortunate indeed to waste this precious moment of being alive by being somewhere else (in a belief) but here.


Respondent No. 5

RESPONDENT: Richard, to your description of a PCE, I would say I have had very much the same experiences. About three months ago, at the beginning of the spring in Philadelphia area, I was at one of my favourite places, a local lake. I have been going to this lake for about 4 years. I experienced a PCE which seemed to have lasted much longer than the previous ones, or at least I thought so. So that day I was enjoying watching the trees across the lake on the other side and was walking on this side along the lake shore. I was at peace with myself and everything around me. I could hear engines of all the different cars and the buses passing by. I could hear them clearly and distinctly. And my capacity to do that increased from pretty much zero to hundreds. The leaves on the trees were lot more colourful than usual, the bricks on the old hospital building were brighter and distinct from the grout in between them. I was observing all of these things but did not care for a particular item under observation. And many of these things happened pretty much at the same time, actually in a continuous stream one after another.

Oh, the clay pots which held the plants were lustrous and so were the moss growth on the outside of those pots. In addition, I could see each of those tiny ‘blades’ on the moss clearly. There were lots of people on the street but I was not looking at them individually but instead collectively. In fact, I did not want to focus at them, I kind of looked towards the horizon but not really. On a normal day, I like to watch all the young nubile women, at their beautiful faces, at their round breasts, but not that day. I just wanted to sort of look towards the horizon. In addition, there was plain wholesome happiness, not the feeling of happiness which I get after a ‘pat on the back’ from a fellow scientist, but simple wholesome happiness without any worries and everything was just great. There was no Euphoria, Bliss, Ecstasy or Rapture. There was no Love, Compassion, Beauty or Wholeness.

Then I started noticing the plastic bags and small boxes lying in the water. I have observed changes at the lake since the officials have allowed commercial boating. There are more people fishing in the last two years and hence there is more trash lying around than it used to be 4 years ago. Sometime later I decided to pick them out of water and started taking them to a trash can. As I was doing this something happened and I started thinking of forming a group of people who should clean this place. One thought led to another and I was thinking of this quite excitedly and in big terms and was thinking what we could achieve. But at the same time, I noticed my joy of just being there was diminishing. I do not remember when but may be sometime later on or just then, the thought occurred: ‘oh, that is what Richard says about ‘devolving’ of a PCE’. I also thought of Osho saying: ‘beware of the mind it comes in from various directions’. By the way, I have never been an activist of any kind let alone of cleaning-up-the-environment kind, yet that day I almost became one.

I am not certain about the precise definition of ASC, yet I will try it by a short account. On another occasion sometime before this one, I went through a PCE and 1/2 hour later I was full of love for a person on a mailing list. I have never met this person in my life but I like his postings on that list and I think he is sincere and wise. Soon after or during this experience I noticed that this love was not a PCE. This was my first experience where I observed quite a clear difference between a PCE and love. However, in this case I missed to observe the gradual transition from the PCE to love, unlike in the other experience I described above. These days I notice this transition faster than I could in the beginning.

RICHARD: I do appreciate your description and, just by the by, seek to establish an ever-expanding data-base of such descriptions so that other people can read them and relate to them and thus remember their own PCE’s. May I add your description to the collection?

RESPONDENT: Of course, you may add the description to the collection.


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