On Mailing List ‘A’ with Respondent No. 17
RESPONDENT: I am writing because I wanted to say that I feel your experiences mirror my own, so I would like confirmation. Although I was only ‘there’ for I think a few minutes (quite difficult to gauge given that time is somehow compressed), I would describe it as complete immersion in the prime substance and mind. I must say here that the experience came after a swift coming to terms with life as something filled with hopelessness, suffering and samsaric purposelessness, something that rather than be ruled by, I felt compelled to remove myself from with, once decided, the suddenness of a knife thrust.
RICHARD: Yes, this is exactly the case. People can spend a life-time cleansing themself, purifying themself, abstaining from all kinds of things ... to no avail. The way to freedom is by removing oneself from the ‘real world’ and stepping swiftly into the actual world ... and leaving your ‘self’ behind where it belongs. Life is a grim business in the ‘real world’ with only scant moments of reprieve ... and it is ‘I’ who creates the ‘real world’ reality over the top of the actual world. In a valiant, but ultimately futile attempt to stay in existence, ‘I’ can realise ‘myself’ as being the ‘Transcendent Self’ existing for all ‘Eternity’ ... ‘Deathless’, ‘Unborn’, Undying’, ‘Timeless’, ‘Spaceless’, ‘Immortal’ ... and so on. This has been the way of humans for millennia: to escape from ‘reality’ by creating a ‘Greater Reality’ ... this is the wisdom of the Sages and the Saints, the Masters and the Messiahs, the Avatars and the Saviours – and is but a delusion created out of an illusion. It is all predicated upon the persistence of an identity existing through into an ‘After-Life’.
RESPONDENT: I could hear the moving of the ripples, the glorious blue constantly wavering was somehow closer to my face than had I been an inch away from it. The light reflecting off the water was everywhere and I could see it was travelling, see its speed. The insects were audible in the minutest detail – as if I had acquired the hearing of a bat.
RICHARD: This is a very accurate description of what I call the actual world – the world of the sense organs unmediated by a ‘who’ within the body. For the sake of clarity, I call this apperception. Apperception – which the Oxford Dictionary defines as: ‘The mind’s perception of itself’ – is when ‘I’ temporarily vacate the scene and I experience myself as being these eyes seeing, these ears hearing ... and so on. All the senses are heightened and all is vivid, intense, vital and dynamic. Everywhere and everything is already perfect as-it-is and nothing more needs to be done other than to live this experience, every moment again, for the term of one’s natural life. There is no need for a sense of identity, a sense of self, a sense of ‘I’ ... in fact, ‘I’ have been standing in the way, all these years, of this actual world being apparent. It is actually as simple as this to be free. And with the ending of ‘I’, which was only an illusion, and by not falling prey to becoming the second ‘I’, which is a delusion (‘I am God’, ‘I am The Supreme’, I am That’, I am The Absolute’ – or even just ‘I am’), one has eliminated both sorrow and malice forever. There is no evil in the actual world; evil exists only in the human psyche ... and in the ‘real world’ which ‘I’ create. Likewise there is no sorrow in the actual world; suffering exists only in the human psyche also. The actual world is a world of benignity and benevolence.
RESPONDENT: The realisation that the ‘I’ that I employed to go about in the world was absent, a mere illusion, was quite a shock for obvious reasons. In a way I think I tried to invite it in as there was a fear about moving in the world without a distinct ‘I’.
RICHARD: It is usually fear which prevents one from entering into actuality, for after all, it means the end of ‘you’ ... which is everything that you think and feel yourself to be ... every single bit of ‘you’. It means extinction, the end of being anyone at all; it is the end of ‘being’ itself. ‘I’ do not exist in any way, shape or form. Fear can become terror – and terror can become dread. It requires nerves of steel to go all the way ... but the rewards for doing so are beyond price.
RESPONDENT: I remember looking at that ‘I’ just before I left this garden of Eden as something so alien to the real me, something with absolutely no connection to what I am, a completely lost, forsaken, deluded, ignorant false entity that had taken over my life for 22 years at that point and was about to conquer me again.
RICHARD: I have written elsewhere: ‘The way of becoming actually free is both simple and practical. One starts by dismantling the sense of identity that has been overlaid, from birth onward, over the innate self until one is virtually free from all the social mores and psittacisms. Virtually free from all the beliefs, ideas, values, theories, truths, customs, traditions, ideals, superstitions ... and all the other schemes and dreams. One can become aware of all the socialisation, of all the conditioning, of all the programming, of all the methods and techniques that were used to produce what one thinks and feels oneself to be – a wayward identity careering around in confusion and illusion. A ‘mature adult’ is actually a lost, lonely, frightened and very cunning entity. However, it is never too late to start in on uncovering and discovering what one actually is. One can become virtually free from all the insidious feelings – the emotions and passions – that fuel the mind and give credence to all the illusions and delusions and fantasies and hallucinations that masquerade as visions of The Truth. One can become virtually free of all that which has encumbered humans with misery and despair and live in a state of virtual freedom ... which is beyond normal human expectations anyway. Then, and only then, can the day of destiny dawn wherein one becomes actually free. One will have obtained release from one’s fate and achieved one’s birthright ... and the world will be all the better for it’.
RESPONDENT: Just before I took the final leap into this Realm (fully thinking I would find only death, once my inner world of samsara was extinguished) I actually heard within a rush of many what seemed to be spirits spurring me on to go for it, as if it was the only thing truly worth doing, which indeed it is.
RICHARD: This was my experience also, seventeen years ago. I have since ascertained that, of course, these spirits are born out of the Human Condition ... coming from what is coined ‘The Collective Unconscious’. It matters not, the main thing is that you were spurred on, because it is indeed the only thing worth doing. Just so long as you do not believe in the ‘spirits’ as actually existing you will be safe from the delusions that have beset other human beings in similar situations. If you make the mistake of believing in them you may very well fall into surrendering to some ‘Higher Power’, some ‘Ultimate Authority’ and miss out on the magnificence of living as a free and autonomous human being in this actual world of people, things and events.
RESPONDENT: People should not innately have to suffer the constant cyclic pain of attachments that forever bear no solid fruit, and thoughts that merely lead one in meaningless perpetual circles. I felt that me as a person was not deserving of that fate either now, before, or any longer, and I was prepared to sacrifice all I had if that’s what was required, even if it meant death, I wasn’t content to lead a dishonest life of subservience to unfulfilling desires.
RICHARD: I echo your sentiments: ‘I was prepared to sacrifice all I had if that is what is required – even if it meant death’ . Back in 1981 the ‘I’ that I was then was prepared to do whatever it took (provided it broke no legal law of society). I fondly call it the ‘boots and all’ approach; it was a task that ‘I’ dedicated ‘my’ life to.
I would like to finish of with something I wrote some time ago: ‘The peak experience provides an objective standpoint to view ‘I’ from. It is easily seen from here that ‘I’ stand in the way of ultimate fulfilment ... of ‘my’ destiny. Pure contemplation is the means to provide one with repeated opportunities to make this examination thorough; all doubt is removed and only surety remains. This is the only way one will be convinced that ‘I’ must vanish altogether. This is why I can say, confidently, that the ‘death of the ego’ is not sufficient, for it only means substituting an impersonal ‘I’ – now called ‘Being’ – for the personal ‘I’. ‘Being’, whether it goes with a capital to denote Divinity or not, means an ‘I’ is still in existence. Therefore the ‘death of the ego’ people’s ‘discoveries’ about the fate of humanity are questionable, to say the least, and their ‘solutions’ to life’s problems are equally suspect. Unless there is an end to ‘being’, which is what death is, one can not say one has penetrated into the ‘Mystery of Life’, one has not found ultimate fulfilment, one has not achieved peace-on-earth. One is only fooling oneself – and some other gullible people – if one is so easily satisfied.
The Third Alternative
(Peace On Earth In This Life Time As This Flesh And Blood Body)
Here is an actual freedom from the Human Condition, surpassing Spiritual Enlightenment and any other Altered State Of Consciousness, and challenging all philosophy, psychiatry, metaphysics (including quantum physics with its mystic cosmogony), anthropology, sociology ... and any religion along with its paranormal theology. Discarding all of the beliefs that have held humankind in thralldom for aeons, the way has now been discovered that cuts through the ‘Tried and True’ and enables anyone to be, for the first time, a fully free and autonomous individual living in utter peace and tranquillity, beholden to no-one.
Richard’s Text ©The Actual Freedom Trust: 1997-. All Rights Reserved.