Actual Freedom – The Actual Freedom Mailing List Correspondence

Richard’s Correspondence

On The Actual Freedom Mailing List

With Correspondent No. 61


January 29 2004

RESPONDENT: Hi, I am from Poland(!), {and still learning English}.

RICHARD: Welcome to The Actual Freedom Trust mailing list.

RESPONDENT: Anyway it was relief to me to find AF [few months ago] because it was proove, confirmation of my interest in this topic. As a matter of fact, I felt already relief when I found U.G. Krishnamurti and others with similar [the same?] experience of No-Self like Bernadette Roberts, John Lewis. Yet Roberts was tinged with spirituality and Krishnamurti was inconsistent and in some way biased. Your mode of expression appeals to me the most. However, I have problem, I am not sure whether I ever had PCE [here one question you said somewhere that the self in PCE is in suspension [or declutched], is your state different from PCE at all?], but you probably mentioned of possibility of evoking it by hallucinogens e.g. LSD [again I’m not sure]. Anyway I have taken several times LSD in my life and don’t know whether it is useful in ‘the path’ [maybe it was just ASC]. I feel still sometimes swayed by some feelings and emotions [I am 23] because of many years of using them [let say these positive], and it is hard to me to find balance between doing things emotionlessly and not getting bored. Anyway I am working on this. Please of some suggestion although I know you probably said everything already in those matters.

RICHARD: First and foremost: the actualism method is not about doing things emotionlessly ... the following link explains this in some detail (half-way down the page):

In regards hallucinogens: I never advise or encourage anyone to use psychotropic substances (for obvious reasons). If, however, someone already has done so, and intends to do so again of their own accord and volition anyway, then I would counsel their very careful and considered use as it is all-too-easy for an altered state of consciousness (ASC) to emerge rather than a pure consciousness experience (PCE) ... there are many accounts available on the internet and 4 or 5 years ago I browsed through several web pages and never found any description that resembled a PCE.

The expression I use for what happens in a PCE is that identity is in abeyance – which means ‘a state of suspension or temporary disuse; a dormant condition liable to revival’ according to the Oxford Dictionary – and is the closest experience possible to what an actual freedom from the human condition itself is without actually becoming free ... and anybody I have been whilst they were having a PCE has indubitably been experiencing the same-same experience as is my on-going experiencing.

And it is neither the same nor similar to what the people you mention speak of.

May 11 2004

RESPONDENT: Here some unrelated questions for Richard: [quote] ‘In September 1981 I underwent a monumental transformation into an Altered State Of Consciousness which can only be described as Spiritual Enlightenment. I became Enlightened as the result of an earnest and intense process which commenced in the January of that year [endquote]. Enlightenment occurred as result of what intensive process?

RICHARD: I asked myself, each moment again until it became a non-verbal attitude, a wordless approach, how I was experiencing this moment of being alive ... the only moment one is ever alive.

RESPONDENT: (I’m asking because you also said that you had no interest in spiritual matter).

RICHARD: Indeed not ... and as the religious/ spiritual/ mystical/ metaphysical solution to all the ills of humanity – transcendence – has held humankind in thralldom for far too long it was high time that a whistle-blower, especially one with inside information, exposed it for the massive delusion it indubitably is.

RESPONDENT: Is it correct to say that ‘actual sex’ is non-erotic?

RICHARD: As the word ‘erotic’ usually means ‘of or pertaining to sexual love; amatory, esp. tending to arouse sexual desire’ (Oxford Dictionary) ... yes; where the word ‘erotic’ means erogenous – ‘of a part of the body: sensitive to sexual stimulation; capable of giving sexual pleasure when touched or stroked’ (Oxford Dictionary) – then ... no.

RESPONDENT: I presume you know about Douglas Harding. How would you classify him [his state]?

RICHARD: It took me about 3 minutes to locate the following passages:

• ‘He wanted to find out who he really was before he died. In a sense, any other question became secondary to this one: Who am I really? Harding finally discovered what and who was at centre not by thinking but simply by looking. This moment is described in his book ‘On Having No Head’ (Arkana). Basically, he realised he could see his legs, arms, trunk, but not his head. From where he was looking, he was headless. Instead of his head there was nothing – clear space, emptiness. And in this space was the world. He had ‘lost a head and gained a world’. This experience corresponds to what in other traditions might be called Liberation, Enlightenment, seeing God, seeing the Void, being centred’. (www.headless.org/English/main.html).

And in his own words:

• ‘Over the past thirty years a truly contemporary and Western way of ‘seeing into one’s Nature’ or ‘Enlightenment’ has been developing. Though in essence the same as Zen, Sufism, and other spiritual disciplines, this way proceeds in an unusually down-to-earth fashion. It claims that modern man is more likely to see Who he really is in a minute of active experimentation than in years of reading, lecture-attending, thinking, ritual observances, and passive meditation of the traditional sort’. (www.headless.org/English/thw.htm)

• ‘Unself-conscious: The principle of this meditation is: never lose sight of your Self in any circumstances, and your problems are taken care of – including, strange to say, the problem of self-consciousness. For finding the Self is losing the self’. (‘The Results of Seeing Who You Really Are’; an article by Douglas Harding from ‘The Toolkit for Testing the Incredible Hypothesis’; www.headless.org/English/reallyr.htm).

December 16 2004

RESPONDENT: I would like to back once again to my first post to AF where I was asking you of possibility of evoking PCE by intake of LSD. Then you rather denied it.

RICHARD: This is the exchange you are referring to:

• [Respondent]: ‘I am not sure whether I ever had PCE (...) you probably mentioned of possibility of evoking it by hallucinogens e.g. LSD (again I’m not sure). Anyway I have taken several times LSD in my life and don’t know whether it is useful in ‘the path’ (maybe it was just ASC). (...) Please of some suggestion although I know you probably said everything already in those matters..
• [Richard]: ‘(...) In regards hallucinogens: I never advise or encourage anyone to use psychotropic substances (for obvious reasons). If, however, someone already has done so, and intends to do so again of their own accord and volition anyway, then I would counsel their very careful and considered use as it is all-too-easy for an altered state of consciousness (ASC) to emerge rather than a pure consciousness experience (PCE) ... there are many accounts available on the internet and 4 or 5 years ago I browsed through several web pages and never found any description that resembled a PCE. (...)’.

You said you were not sure whether you had ever had a pure consciousness experience (PCE) – that you had ingested lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) and maybe it was just an altered state of consciousness (ASC) – and that you did not know whether hallucinogens were useful on the wide and wondrous path to an actual freedom from the human condition ... how you can say my considered response, to your request for some suggestions, is me rather denying the possibility of evoking a PCE by the intake of LSD has got me stumped.

RESPONDENT: Yet you mentioned here: [Richard]: ‘... the four-hour pure consciousness experience (PCE) in 1980, which initiated the remembrance of many such moments of perfection stretching way back into my childhood, and which set in train the entire process eventually resulting in an actual freedom from the human condition, was inadvertently precipitated by psylocibin (given to me by a well-meaning but somewhat misguided associate at the time who told me it was similar in effect to tetrahydrocannabinol only much stronger) ...’ [actualfreedom.com.au/richard/listafcorrespondence/listaf60.htm#29Nov03]. According to me but also according to scientist psylocibin is similar to LSD.

RICHARD: Whilst I have never ingested LSD, and thus cannot speak from personal experience, from what I have heard/read the effect can be virtually the same.

RESPONDENT: My first LSD trip was very akin to that aforementioned PCE of yours (and also lasted 4 hours) and was crucial breakthrough in my life forcing me to search (I somehow knew there was more to it than a just drug).

RICHARD: Well now ... that is a different story to what you previously told me (reposted above) and, not being a mind-reader, I can only answer a query as asked.

Here, see for yourself:

• [Respondent]: ‘I am not sure whether I ever had PCE (...) I have taken several times LSD in my life and don’t know whether it is useful in ‘the path’ (maybe it was just ASC).
• [Respondent]: ‘My first LSD trip was very akin to that aforementioned PCE of yours (and also lasted 4 hours) and was crucial breakthrough in my life forcing me to search (I somehow knew there was more to it than a just drug).

How you conduct your correspondence is entirely up to you, of course, and all I can do is point out that what you choose to write is what determines the response you receive.

RESPONDENT: Now, I am acquainted more to that experience and sometimes I still use psylocibin though it is not much different from my usual state (slight senses and well-being increase).

RICHARD: Are you really saying that a hallucinogenic state is not much different to your normal state?

RESPONDENT: I read somewhere that psylocibin obstructs the flow of serotonin to brain. Can you comment on these?

RICHARD: Indeed I can: I have noticed, over the years, that peoples of a scientific bent are as prone as anyone else to be susceptible to the ‘flavour of the month’, so to speak, and it was not all that long ago that dopamine was the hot topic – all manner of things were being attributed to it (or to its lack thereof) – and it is only currently that serotonin has centre-field ... tomorrow it may very well be some other substance.

Speaking personally, I did not know of any scientific research on this subject, when I started to actively investigate the human condition in myself 23 or more years ago, and as I intimately explored the depths of ‘being’ all that I ever needed to know became increasingly and transparently obvious of its own accord as the process proceeded.

Quite frankly, I cannot see how knowing that ‘psylocibin obstructs the flow of serotonin to brain’ (if that is indeed what it does) is going to be anything much more than of curiosity value.

December 16 2004

RESPONDENT: Now, I am acquainted more to that experience [my first LSD trip] and sometimes I still use psylocibin though it is not much different from my usual state (slight senses and well-being increase).

RICHARD: Are you really saying that a hallucinogenic state is not much different to your normal state?

RESPONDENT: First of all psilocybin trip has nothing to do whatsoever with hallucinogenic state, I do not notice any hallucinations, delusions, paranoias etc., there remains clear thinking or even heightened artistic capabilities, lessen influence of emotions/passions (in case when they appear, in my case very rarely), and an increase of senses. Hallucinogenic or psychodelic are just wrong labels or states experienced by ... maybe some spiritual people or inexperienced ones.

RICHARD: This is why I used the word ‘hallucinogenic’:

• [Respondent]: ‘I am not sure whether I ever had PCE (...) you probably mentioned of possibility of evoking it by *hallucinogens* e.g. LSD ...’. [emphasis added].

Whereas this is the terminology I use:

• [Richard]: ‘... I never advise or encourage anyone to use psychotropic substances (for obvious reasons)’.

Not wanting to put words into your mouth I used your terminology ... given that you now say it is the wrong label or state, and that the same applies to the term ‘psychedelic’, I will re-phrase my query accordingly:

• Are you really saying that a psilocybin-induced trip is not much different to your normal state?

*

RESPONDENT: I read somewhere that psylocibin obstructs the flow of serotonin to brain. Can you comment on these?

RICHARD: Indeed I can: I have noticed, over the years, that peoples of a scientific bent are as prone as anyone else to be susceptible to the ‘flavour of the month’, so to speak, and it was not all that long ago that dopamine was the hot topic – all manner of things were being attributed to it (or to its lack thereof) – and it is only currently that serotonin has centre-field ... tomorrow it may very well be some other substance. Speaking personally, I did not know of any scientific research on this subject, when I started to actively investigate the human condition in myself 23 or more years ago, and as I intimately explored the depths of ‘being’ all that I ever needed to know became increasingly and transparently obvious of its own accord as the process proceeded. Quite frankly, I cannot see how knowing that ‘psylocibin obstructs the flow of serotonin to brain’ (if that is indeed what it does) is going to be anything much more than of curiosity value.

RESPONDENT: I don’t know but the ‘inadvertent precipitation’ effect of psylocibin may be sometimes crucial. [Addendum]: Oops I meant ‘inadvertent precipitating’ effect.

RICHARD: First of all, the word ‘inadvertent’ conveys the sense of it being unintentional, unintended, not deliberate, involuntary, chance, not premeditated, unplanned, accidental, and so forth, and the word ‘precipitated’ (in this context) refers to it being brought on, caused, occasioned, given rise to, triggered, or in any other way set in motion, by.

As for the effect of psylocibin being ‘maybe sometimes crucial’ I need only to refer you to my original response ... to wit: I never advise or encourage anyone to use psychotropic substances (for obvious reasons). If, however, someone already has done so, and intends to do so again of their own accord and volition anyway, then I would counsel their very careful and considered use as it is all-too-easy for an altered state of consciousness (ASC) to emerge rather than a pure consciousness experience (PCE) ... there are many accounts available on the internet and 5 or 6 years ago I browsed through several web pages and never found any description that resembled a PCE.

Put simply: there are far too many variables for substance-induced experiences to be a reliable guide ... for just one example, some years ago a person who had listened intently to all I had to say over several years, about life, the universe, and what it is to be a human being, did take a psychotropic substance – unbeknownst to me and most certainly not because of any prompting or suggestion on my part – and indeed had a PCE (so much so that a friend of theirs drove them to where I was then living so as to be able to tell me, whilst it was still happening, that they finally, finally, understood what I was talking about).

However, and here comes the ‘but’, some months later they again ingested the same substance ... only to experience ‘Richard’ as being the devil incarnate (and a sex-fiend into the bargain).

‘Nuff said?

December 16 2004

RESPONDENT: ... sometimes I still use psylocibin though it is not much different from my usual state (slight senses and well-being increase).

RICHARD: Are you really saying that a hallucinogenic state is not much different to your normal state?

RESPONDENT: First of all psilocybin trip has nothing to do whatsoever with hallucinogenic state, I do not notice any hallucinations, delusions, paranoias etc., there remains clear thinking or even heightened artistic capabilities, lessen influence of emotions/passions (in case when they appear, in my case very rarely), and an increase of senses. Hallucinogenic or psychodelic are just wrong labels or states experienced by ... maybe some spiritual people or inexperienced ones.

RICHARD: This is why I used the word ‘hallucinogenic’:

• [Respondent]: ‘I am not sure whether I ever had PCE (...) you probably mentioned of possibility of evoking it by *hallucinogens* e.g. LSD ...’. [emphasis added].

Whereas this is the terminology I use:

• [Richard]: ‘... I never advise or encourage anyone to use psychotropic substances (for obvious reasons)’.

Not wanting to put words into your mouth I used your terminology ... given that you now say it is the wrong label or state, and that the same applies to the term ‘psychedelic’, I will re-phrase my query accordingly: are you really saying that a psilocybin-induced trip is not much different to your normal state?

RESPONDENT: I do appreciate your actual care, however I have to say that I progressively go in direction of ‘coming to one’s senses’ not the other way round (and I read note on AF’s door concerning insane people).

RICHARD: I am not suggesting you are going the other way around ... I am asking a very simple question: are you really saying that a psilocybin-induced trip is not much different to your normal state?

RESPONDENT: As reality check I can only say of my successful fulfilling roles like being a student, talented keyboard player in band or active shareholder in middle sized company.

RICHARD: This is the reality check I am enquiring about: are you really saying that a psilocybin-induced trip is not much different to your normal state?

RESPONDENT: What distinguishes me from more ‘normal’ people around and their ‘real’ life is probably amount of malice and sorrow and intent of ridding this body of ‘I’ and its aftermath that is uprooting ‘being’ itself which is certainly not normal person’s interest.

RICHARD: It is what distinguishes a psilocybin-induced trip from your normal state that I am querying ... to wit: are you really saying that a psilocybin-induced trip is not much different to your normal state?

RESPONDENT: Incidentally you are the one who does not fit in social/mental health framework, as you mentioned.

RICHARD: I am not suggesting you are not fitting into the social/mental health framework ... I am asking a very simple question: are you really saying that a psilocybin-induced trip is not much different to your normal state?

December 21 2004

RESPONDENT: ... sometimes I still use psylocibin though it is not much different from my usual state (slight senses and well-being increase).

(...)

RICHARD: ... I am asking a very simple question: are you really saying that a psilocybin-induced trip is not much different to your normal state?

RESPONDENT: Yes, I maintain it.

RICHARD: In which case, and just for starters, you are maintaining that your normal state is not much different to actually being free of malice and sorrow and, thus, their antidotal pacifiers love and compassion; not much different to actually being peaceful and harmonious each moment again; not much different to actually being able to think clearly, cleanly and purely; not much different to actually being able to unreservedly accept (as in saying an unqualified !YES! to life and living) both people as-they-are and the world as-it-is; not much different to actually being incapable of disliking your fellow human being no matter where they are coming from, where they are at, or where they are going to ... which is not at all different to actually being able to intimately comprehend that each person has a background, a frame of reference, an agenda, and that the challenge of communication lies in engaging such a person in a sincere, frank, and honest discussion.

And which, incidentally, is precisely what is happening in this e-mail exchange.

Moreover, you are maintaining that your normal state is not much different to being that flesh and blood body only (sans identity/ affections in toto); not much different to being directly cognisant that physical death is the end, finish; not much different to being immediately aware that you are not a god, by whatever name, as no such being/presence exists in actuality; not much different to being apperceptively aware that there is no timeless and spaceless and formless realm; not much different to being instantly conscious that peace-on-earth is already always just here, at this place in infinite space, right now, at this moment in eternal time; not much different to being intimately experiencing that the pristine perfection of the peerless purity the actual world is ensures nothing dirty (no ‘being’ or ‘presence’) can get in; not much different to being actually experiencing that the meaning of life, which lies open all around, has never been hidden, and that the way all this becomes/became apparent is by being totally attentive to how this moment of being alive (the only moment one is ever actually alive) is being/was being experienced.

Yet despite all this (and more) you could not distinguish earlier on this year the difference between what I have to report/ describe/ explain and what, for example, Mr. Uppaluri Krishnamurti, Ms. Bernadette Roberts, Mr. John Lewis, and Mr. Douglas Harding (inasmuch you had to ask me how I would classify him/his state when all takes is about three (3) minutes to locate the passages which are blatantly self-explanatory to one who is virtually free of the human condition) all have to say about life, the universe, and what it is to be a human being.

RESPONDENT: Perhaps little explanation on this would be apt here. Since my breakthrough LSD experience 6 year ago every next trip tended to be more normal.

RICHARD: Aye, the extraordinary nature of substance-induced peak experiences can indeed diminish the more one ingests same ... the organism can, and does, develop a tolerance such as to not reach that initial peak again.

RESPONDENT: There were however purely affectionate, ecstasy or mystical like ones, but somewhere along the path I stumbled upon three milestones to me that is U.G. Krishnamurti, Bernadette Roberts and AF.

RICHARD: As Mr. Uppaluri Krishnamurti is, basically, still mystico-spiritual (despite sounding like a materialist on occasion), and as Ms. Bernadette Roberts is essentially mystico-religious, then the milestone called ‘AF’ is not to be found on that well-trodden highway to nowhere.

RESPONDENT: Two years ago I met friend with whom we are together investigating whole business. I can say that it goes much faster than when I did it alone. Two months ago I decided to test thoroughly influence of psylocibin. I had been taking for 2 weeks day after day (7-12 liberty caps/day which is not much but has effect tested is the same as double quantity). During first week my body purified itself which effect was that I felt (I still do) weightlessness of body (as if some burden was flushed out) and senses sensitivity increased. After two weeks I stopped intake than I took again once after month and did not notice as I mentioned much difference between psylocibin trip (trip is itself wrong word here) and my ordinary state.

RICHARD: Hmm ... all I will pick-up on, for now at least, in that explanation is your on-going feeling of ‘weightlessness’ as such a feeling generally indicates what is sometimes known as ‘a lightness of being’ and is usually an indication of an altered state of consciousness (ASC) rather than a pure consciousness experience (PCE).

Look, by and large, most substance-induced peak experiences are ASC’s, and not PCE’s (else an actual freedom from the human condition would surely have been discovered aeons ago), which is the main reason why I never advise or encourage anyone to use psychotropic substances ... and I would be doing my fellow human being no favour were I to indiscriminately endorse what you have to say.

The bottom line, however, is that it is your life you are living and what you do with what I have to report/ describe/ explain is your business. For instance:

• [Richard]: ‘... there are far too many variables for substance-induced experiences to be a reliable guide ... for just one example, some years ago a person who had listened intently to all I had to say over several years, about life, the universe, and what it is to be a human being, did take a psychotropic substance – unbeknownst to me and most certainly not because of any prompting or suggestion on my part – and indeed had a PCE (so much so that a friend of theirs drove them to where I was then living so as to be able to tell me, whilst it was still happening, that they finally, finally, understood what I was talking about). However, and here comes the ‘but’, some months later they again ingested the same substance ... only to experience ‘Richard’ as being the devil incarnate (and a sex-fiend into the bargain).
• [Respondent]: ‘Maybe after third time he will become free from human condition’. (‘Re: Some Past Issue’; Thursday 16/12/2004 AEDST).

That missing-the-point comment, when taken in conjunction with your [quote] ‘during first week [of daily ingesting psylocibin] my body purified itself’ [endquote] report further above, indicates that despite all what is presented on The Actual Freedom Trust web site, and The Actual Freedom Trust mailing list, you are of the impression that substance-induced experiencing is, fundamentally, what will do the trick and thus deliver the goods ... à la Mr. John Lewis and his boiled sweet, perchance.

Perhaps if I were to put it this way for emphasis: it was just happenstance that it was psylocibin which inadvertently precipitated the four-hour PCE in 1980, which initiated the remembrance of many such moments of perfection stretching way back into my childhood, and which set in train the entire process eventually resulting in an actual freedom from the human condition ... it could have been some other thing, person, or event (such as total immersion in the act of artistic creation, for instance, or a complete let-go at the peak of a sexual orgasm, for another).

Besides which it was not just the psylocibin, it was not just the PCE, it was not just the remembrance of many such moments of perfection stretching way back into my childhood, which set in train the entire process eventually resulting in an actual freedom from the human condition, it was the identity within who was the key to all which transpired.

Which is why I have not made, do not ever and never will make, a big thing out of the historical fact that the four-hour PCE in 1980 was psylocibin-induced.

December 27 2004

RESPONDENT: (...) sometimes I still use psylocibin though it is not much different from my usual state (slight senses and well-being increase).

RICHARD: (...) I am asking a very simple question: are you really saying that a psilocybin-induced trip is not much different to your normal state?

RESPONDENT: Yes, I maintain it.

RICHARD: In which case, and just for starters, you are maintaining that your normal state is not much different to actually being free of malice and sorrow and, thus, their antidotal pacifiers love and compassion ... (snip). Yet despite all this (and more) you could not distinguish earlier on this year the difference between what I have to report/ describe/ explain and what, for example, Mr. Uppaluri Krishnamurti, Ms. Bernadette Roberts, Mr. John Lewis, and Mr. Douglas Harding (inasmuch you had to ask me how I would classify him/his state when all takes is about three (3) minutes to locate the passages which are blatantly self-explanatory to one who is virtually free of the human condition) all have to say about life, the universe, and what it is to be a human being.

RESPONDENT: I suppose you refer to this: [Respondent]: ‘My first LSD trip was very akin to that aforementioned PCE of yours (and also lasted 4 hours) and was crucial breakthrough in my life forcing me to search (I somehow knew there was more to it than a just drug). Now, I am acquainted more to that experience ...’. [endquote].

RICHARD: No, I am responding to the fact that you ... (a) first referred me to your earliest post to this mailing list where you asked me of the possibility of evoking a pure consciousness experience (PCE) by the intake of lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) ... and (b) then established that, according to both yourself and scientists, LSD is similar to psylocibin ... and (c) then made it clear your first LSD experience was very akin to the psylocibin-induced four-hour pure consciousness experience (PCE) of mine in 1980 ... and (d) then explained you are now more acquainted with that experience ... and (e) then provided the information that, even though it is not much different from your usual state, you sometimes still use psylocibin.

RESPONDENT: Foregoing statement of mine is however not precise cause it may suggest that PCE (as I reckoned it to be) is my ongoing experience.

RICHARD: No, it does not suggest that a PCE is your on-going experience ... it conveys, quite unequivocally, that a PCE is [quote] ‘not much different’ [endquote] from your on-going experience.

RESPONDENT: Here I have to make some digression. [snip digression]. I think though, my present ongoing experience is that of ‘Excellent experience’ or generally as you suggested above virtual freedom.

RICHARD: No, I never suggested (further above) that your present ongoing experience is, generally or otherwise, that of virtual freedom ... on the contrary, I clearly stated that, even though all it takes is about three (3) minutes to locate the passages regarding what Mr. Douglas Harding has to say, which passages are blatantly self-explanatory to one who is virtually free of the human condition, you still had to ask me how I would classify him/his state.

And neither would I suggest your normal state is an on-going excellence experience (the penultimate virtual freedom experience) either ... just to refresh your memory:

• [Mr. Douglas Harding]: ‘Over the past thirty years a truly contemporary and Western way of ‘seeing into one’s Nature’ or ‘Enlightenment’ has been developing. Though *in essence the same as Zen, Sufism, and other spiritual disciplines*, this way proceeds in an unusually down-to-earth fashion. It claims that modern man is more likely to see Who he really is in a minute of active experimentation than in years of reading, lecture-attending, thinking, ritual observances, and passive meditation of the traditional sort’. [emphasis added]. (www.headless.org/English/thw.htm).
• [Mr. Douglas Harding]: ‘The principle of this meditation [‘Unself-conscious Meditation’] is: never lose sight of your Self in any circumstances, and your problems are taken care of – including, strange to say, the problem of self-consciousness. For *finding the Self is losing the self*’. [emphasis added]. (‘The Results of Seeing Who You Really Are’; an article by Douglas Harding from ‘The Toolkit for Testing the Incredible Hypothesis’; www.headless.org/English/reallyr.htm).

And while I am at it:

• [Ms. Bernadette Roberts]: ‘It is quite possible that at some time or other everyone has made contact with the self-as-subject [as distinct from self-as-object]. All that is required for such an encounter is the cessation of the reflexive movement of the mind bending back on itself. Without this reflexive (or pre-reflexive) movement, we are no longer aware of our own awareness, our own feelings and thoughts, and thus we have encountered self-as-subject. But since this subjective self is as nothing to the mind, we cannot stay in this condition for long and soon fall back into self-consciousness or self-as-object. To remain in this un-reflexive condition for any length of time would mean encountering an emptiness, a void, a nothingness that is the subjective self – *which I have called no-self*’. [emphasis added]. (‘Pure Subjectivity’, from the book ‘The Experience of No-Self’, by Bernadette Roberts; 1982; http://norea.net/roberts/pure%20subjectivity.htm).

And:

• [Mr. Uppaluri Krishnamurti]: ‘This individual [referring to himself] is always in a state of meditation. (...) When there is no movement of thought, you don’t know whether it [the outer world] is inside or outside. (...) This absence of the movement of thought which recognises and names things is the state of samadhi, *sahaja (natural) samadhi*. You imagine that samadhi is something he [referring to himself] goes into and comes out of. Not at all; he’s always there’. [emphasis added]. (from Part Four, ‘The Mystique Of Enlightenment’; Second Edition; Published by: Akshaya Publications, Bangalore, INDIA. 1992: www.well.com/user/jct/moetitle.htm).

What I would suggest, however, is that your initial LSD trip was an altered state of consciousness (ASC) ... and here is another reason why (from the snipped digression):

• [Respondent]: ‘I saw (...) also beauty of the world around ...’.

Quite simply: beauty is an affective experience – the subjective ‘self’s pathetic imitation of the pristine purity of the actual – and, as you currently have a feeling of weightlessness (aka a lightness of being), I would also suggest your present on-going experience is an after-effect of feeling the same a couple of months ago whilst ingesting psilocybin on a daily basis over a two-week period ... a technique, by the way, almost guaranteed to reduce the effect.

As I have remarked before, by and large, most substance-induced peak experiences are ASC’s, and not PCE’s (else an actual freedom from the human condition would surely have been discovered aeons ago), which is the main reason why I never advise or encourage anyone to use psychotropic substances. Here is another way I have put it (from my first e-mail to you):

• [Richard]: ‘(...) I never advise or encourage anyone to use psychotropic substances (for obvious reasons). If, however, someone already has done so, and intends to do so again of their own accord and volition anyway, then I would counsel their very careful and considered use *as it is all-too-easy for an altered state of consciousness (ASC) to emerge rather than a pure consciousness experience (PCE)* ... there are many accounts available on the internet and 4 or 5 years ago I browsed through several web pages and never found any description that resembled a PCE. (...)’. [emphasis added].

I do not see how I could have put any more plainly than that.

December 28 2004

RICHARD: (...) I do not see how I could have put it any more plainly than that.

RESPONDENT: Ok, if this is what you think I won’t be argue with you.

RICHARD: Here is what I wrote (the first part of my response in sequence):

• [Respondent]: ‘I suppose you refer to this: [quote]: ‘My first LSD trip was very akin to that aforementioned PCE of yours (and also lasted 4 hours) and was crucial breakthrough in my life forcing me to search (I somehow knew there was more to it than a just drug). Now, I am acquainted more to that experience ...’.
• [Richard]: ‘No, I am responding to the fact that you ... (a) first referred me to your earliest post to this mailing list where you asked me of the possibility of evoking a pure consciousness experience (PCE) by the intake of lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) ... and (b) then established that, according to both yourself and scientists, LSD is similar to psylocibin ... and (c) then made it clear your first LSD experience was very akin to the psylocibin-induced four-hour pure consciousness experience (PCE) of mine in 1980 ... and (d) then explained you are now more acquainted with that experience ... and (e) then provided the information that, even though it is not much different from your usual state, you sometimes still use psylocibin’.

Nothing I wrote in that response is what I ‘think’ ... all five points are factual. Here is the first point:

(a) [I am responding to the fact that you] first referred me to your earliest post to this mailing list where you asked me of the possibility of evoking a pure consciousness experience (PCE) by the intake of lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD).

Here it is:

• [Respondent]: ‘I would like to back once again to my first post to AF where I was asking you of possibility of evoking PCE by intake of LSD’. (‘Some Past Issue’; Thursday 16/12/2004 1:12 AM AEDST).

Here is the second point:

(b) [I am responding to the fact that you] then established that, according to both yourself and scientists, LSD is similar to psylocibin.

Here it is:

• [Respondent]: ‘According to me but also according to scientist psylocibin is similar to LSD’. (‘Some Past Issue’; Thursday 16/12/2004 1:12 AM AEDST).

Here is the third point:

(c) [I am responding to the fact that you] then made it clear your first LSD experience was very akin to the psylocibin-induced four-hour pure consciousness experience (PCE) of mine in 1980.

Here it is:

• [Respondent]: ‘My first LSD trip was very akin to that aforementioned PCE of yours (and also lasted 4 hours) ...’. (‘Some Past Issue’; Thursday 16/12/2004 1:12 AM AEDST).

Here is the fourth point:

(d) [I am responding to the fact that you] then explained you are now more acquainted with that experience.

Here it is:

• [Respondent]: ‘Now, I am acquainted more to that experience ...’. (‘Some Past Issue’; Thursday 16/12/2004 1:12 AM AEDST).

Here is the fifth point:

(e) [I am responding to the fact that you] then provided the information that, even though it is not much different from your usual state, you sometimes still use psylocibin.

Here it is:

• [Respondent]: ‘... sometimes I still use psylocibin though it is not much different from my usual state (slight senses and well-being increase)’. (‘Some Past Issue’; Thursday 16/12/2004 1:12 AM AEDST).

Given the demonstrably factual base of my response it is no wonder you will not be arguing with me ... here is what I wrote next (the second part of my response in sequence):

• [Respondent]: ‘Foregoing statement of mine is however not precise cause it may suggest that PCE (as I reckoned it to be) is my ongoing experience’.
• [Richard]: ‘No, it does not suggest that a PCE is your on-going experience ... it conveys, quite unequivocally, that a PCE is [quote] ‘not much different’ [endquote] from your on-going experience’.

Nothing I wrote in that response is what I ‘think’ ... here is your statement in full (with the portion you snipped highlighted):

• [Respondent]: ‘My first LSD trip was very akin to that aforementioned PCE of yours (and also lasted 4 hours) and was crucial breakthrough in my life forcing me to search (I somehow knew there was more to it than a just drug). Now, I am acquainted more to that experience *and sometimes I still use psylocibin though it is not much different from my usual state (slight senses and well-being increase)*’. (‘Some Past Issue’; Thursday 16/12/2004 1:12 AM AEDST).

As I can easily see the operative words – ‘not much different’ – the foregoing statement of yours does indeed quite unequivocally convey, when spelled-out in full, that a PCE is [quote] ‘not much different’ [endquote] from your on-going experience and, given the demonstrable factuality of my response, it is no wonder you will not be arguing with me.

Here is what I wrote next (the third part of my response in sequence):

• [Respondent]: ‘I think though, my present ongoing experience is that of ‘Excellent experience’ or generally as you suggested above virtual freedom’.
• [Richard]: ‘No, I never suggested (further above) that your present ongoing experience is, generally or otherwise, that of virtual freedom ... on the contrary, I clearly stated that, even though all it takes is about three (3) minutes to locate the passages regarding what Mr. Douglas Harding has to say, which passages are blatantly self-explanatory to one who is virtually free of the human condition, you still had to ask me how I would classify him/his state’.

Nothing I wrote in that response is what I ‘think’ ... I never did suggest (in the passage referred to) that your present ongoing experience is, generally or otherwise, that of virtual freedom and, because of the demonstrable factualness of my response it is no wonder you will not be arguing with me.

Here is what I wrote next (the fourth part of my response in sequence):

• [Richard]: ‘And neither would I suggest your normal state is an on-going excellence experience (the penultimate virtual freedom experience) either ...’.

Nothing I wrote in that response is what I ‘think’ ... I know perfectly well that I would never suggest your normal state is an on-going excellence experience (the penultimate virtual freedom experience) and, because I do indeed know that perfectly well, it is no wonder you will not be arguing with me.

Here is what I wrote next (the fifth part of my response in sequence):

• [Richard]: ‘What I would suggest, however, is that your initial LSD trip was an altered state of consciousness (ASC) ... and here is another reason why (from the snipped digression):

• [Respondent]: ‘I saw (...) also beauty of the world around ...’.

Quite simply: beauty is an affective experience – the subjective ‘self’s pathetic imitation of the pristine purity of the actual’.

Nothing I wrote in that response is what I ‘think’ ... given your demonstrated inability to distinguish the (180 degree opposite) difference between spiritual enlightenment/mystical awakenment and an actual/virtual freedom from the human condition and, given that beauty is indeed an affective experience (the subjective ‘self’s pathetic imitation of the pristine purity of the actual), it is patently obvious that your initial LSD trip was an ASC and not a PCE.

If I were to think anything it would be along the lines of musing upon the intransigeance of what you think. Vis.:

• [Respondent]: ‘*I think* that they [liberty cap mushrooms] may very well go hand in hand with AF (AF method and VF)’. [emphasis added]. (‘Re: Some Past Issue’; Thursday 16/12/2004 3:13 AM AEDST).
• [Respondent]: ‘*I think* that consciously and unconsciously there were set in motion some process which increasingly has been enhancing my consciousness and perception (along with normal adolescent development)’. [emphasis added]. (‘Re: Some Past Issue’; Wednesday 22/12/2004 2:11 AM AEDST).
• [Respondent]: ‘*I think* though, my present ongoing experience is that of ‘Excellent experience’ or generally as you suggested above virtual freedom’. [emphasis added]. (‘Re: Some Past Issue’; Wednesday 22/12/2004 2:11 AM AEDST).
• [Respondent]: ‘I take from anybody what *I think* is appropriate’. [emphasis added]. (‘Re: Some Past Issue’; Wednesday 22/12/2004 2:11 AM AEDST).
• [Respondent]: ‘*I think* they [some quotes of Ms. Bernadette Roberts] are very clear, rational and helpful and come from empirical experience’. [emphasis added]. (‘Re: UG & BR’; Friday 24/12/2004 8:00 AM AEDST).
• [Respondent]: ‘These [the typical stance of ‘thought’ is the problem; empirical reality as ‘empty and meaningless’; get rid of the experiencer and you no longer have experiencing] are matters though I am never sure of ‘cause *I am prone to think* they can be assessed only from the ultimate, final state’. [emphasis added]. (‘Re: UG & BR & More’; Tuesday 28/12/2004 1:54 AM AEDST).
• [Respondent]: ‘*I think* I can distinguish aesthetic-affective based on mental reception delight from sensuous one’. [emphasis added]. (‘Re: Some Past Issue’; Tuesday 28/12/2004 6:18 am AEDST).

Given that you think quite a lot of things it it is no wonder you will not be arguing with me ... here is what I wrote next (the sixth part of my response in sequence):

• [Richard]: ‘... as you currently have a feeling of weightlessness (aka a lightness of being), I would also suggest your present on-going experience is an after-effect of feeling the same a couple of months ago whilst ingesting psilocybin on a daily basis over a two-week period’.

Nothing I wrote in that response is what I ‘think’ ... as you had specifically said that [quote] ‘during first week [of ingesting psilocybin a daily basis] my body purified itself which effect was that I felt (I still do) weightlessness of body (as if some burden was flushed out) ...’. [endquote] it is patently obvious that your present on-going experience is an after-effect of feeling the same a couple of months ago ... and it is no wonder you will not be arguing with me.

Here is what I wrote next (the seventh part of my response in sequence):

• [Richard]: ‘... ingesting psilocybin on a daily basis over a two-week period [is] a technique, by the way, almost guaranteed to reduce the effect’.

Nothing I wrote in that response is what I ‘think’ ... and, as it is well-known that an organism can, and does, develop a tolerance such as to not reach an initial peak again, it is no wonder you will not be arguing with me.

Here is what I wrote next (the eighth part of my response in sequence):

• [Richard]: ‘... I would counsel their [psychotropic substances] very careful and considered use as it is all-too-easy for an altered state of consciousness (ASC) to emerge rather than a pure consciousness experience (PCE) ... there are many accounts available on the internet and 4 or 5 years ago I browsed through several web pages and never found any description that resembled a PCE’.

Nothing I wrote in that response is what I ‘think’ ... it is indeed all-too-easy for an ASC to emerge, rather than a PCE, upon ingesting a psychotropic substance and, as it is a fact that there are many accounts available on the internet, and as I did indeed browse through several web pages 5 or 6 years ago without ever finding any description that resembled a PCE, it is no wonder you will not be arguing with me.

If I may ask? Just what is the point of writing and asking me questions only to then cavalierly dismiss all my responses as being what I ‘think’ (and not what I know)?

RESPONDENT: Though I think I can distinguish aesthetic-affective based on mental reception delight from sensuous one.

RICHARD: As I am in no way talking about such experience (temporary ASC’s and/or the permanent ASC’s popularly known spiritual enlightenment/ mystical awakenment) being ‘based on mental reception’ – they are embedded in, and intrinsic to, the affections themselves as a thoughtless and senseless state of being (which is ‘being’ itself) – this response of yours demonstrates that your what-Richard-thinks-is-false/ what-No. 61-thinks-is-true style of reply is as inexperienced and/or uninformed and/or ill thought-out as any of your other replies.

As you have obviously made up your mind, despite indicating elsewhere you have not,that your present experience is unquestionably that of an on-going excellent experience, or generally, a virtual freedom, then nothing I can add is going to make one iota of difference.

Besides which it is your life you are living, when all is said and done, and I can only suggest ... what you do with my suggestions is, of course, entirely up to you (because it is you who either reaps the rewards or pays the consequences for any action or inaction that you may or may not do).

Provided you comply with the legal laws and observe the social protocols you will be left alone to live your life as wisely or as foolishly as you wish.

January 18 2006

RESPONDENT: Somewhere, don’t know where now, you said that, AF could be considered from some perspective as unknown.

RICHARD: Not as unknown ... as unknowable:

• [Richard]: ‘To become enlightened is to stop half-way: to go all the way not only does the ego have to die (spiritual freedom), so too does the soul (actual freedom). To put it in the mystical terminology of the East (in terms recently resurrected and made popular by Mr. Mohan ‘Rajneesh’ Jain), there is the ‘Known’, the ‘Unknown’ and the ‘Unknowable’. Thus the Eastern mystical wisdom holds the tenet that the ‘normal-world’ reality (where 6.0 billion people live) is the ‘Known’ and the ‘abnormal-world’ Greater Reality (where 0.0000001 of the population live) is the ‘Unknown’ ... and the ‘Unknowable’ lies beyond physical death (Mahasamadhi, Parinirvana and so on). Therefore, in those terms, the actual world (where Richard lives) is the ‘Unknowable’.
One does not have to wait until physical death to be free of the human condition’.

RESPONDENT: What did you mean?

RICHARD: What I mean is that in the state of being popularly known as spiritual enlightenment/mystical awakenment it is known that it is not the final state, that there is something else, an ultimate that lies beyond.

RESPONDENT: Because I know that is has nothing to do with all these states of not knowing.

RICHARD: Indeed not.

RESPONDENT: Also do you think that it is likely for one to have some fearful experiences at some breakthroughs or at transition to permanent AF? (I don’t think so).

RICHARD: Not at the instant ... no, not at all; prior to the instant ... yes, quite likely.

‘Tis no little thing to be at the point of extinction (as distinct from being at the point of death) as not only will everything one instinctually knows, intuitively feels, and thus affectively thinks oneself to be, vanish without a trace but so too is reality itself about to disappear ... forever.

Nothing will remain of both ‘me’ and ‘my’ world ... absolutely nothing at all.


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