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Richard’s Correspondence On The Actual Freedom Mailing List with Rick
July 26, 2015 Hi Vineeto, From here out (and going back too if it’s a simple enough swap), please feel free to use my name, ‘Rick’, in the correspondence archives, instead of an anonymized numerical identifier such as ‘Respondent No. 75’ or ‘Respondent No. 10’. Best regards, RICK: Hello, I’m new to your site and new to this list. RICHARD: Welcome to The Actual Freedom Trust mailing list. RICK: I was reading over your site and I have some questions. You explain somewhere on your site that in order to be ‘actually free’ you must ‘die’. RICHARD: An actual freedom from the human condition is what ensues when the illusory/ delusory identity within psychologically/ psychically ‘self’-immolates in toto (both ‘I’ as ego and ‘me’ as soul) for the benefit of this body and that body and every body. RICK: You explained you had to die to yourself 3 times. RICHARD: I neither use the (spiritual) phrase ‘die to yourself’ nor say ‘3 times’ anywhere at all on The Actual Freedom Trust web site ... the ego (aka the thinker) died in 1981 and the soul (aka the feeler) died in 1992. The demise of the feeler (‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being ... which is ‘being’ itself ) was the extinction of the affective faculty in its entirety. RICK: What is the process or method you used to get to those levels. RICHARD: The process involved in becoming actually free from the human condition was altruism, pure and simple, and the method used was to ask, until it became a non-verbal attitude to life, a wordless approach each moment again, how this moment of being alive (the only moment one is ever alive) was being experienced. Viz.:
Such exquisite RICK: What mode of thinking? RICHARD: First of all there was the rekindling of naiveté, which gave rise to a pure intent, whereupon sincerity, honesty (being scrupulously honest with oneself), prudence, judiciousness, probity, providence, and so on, easily enabled integrity ... whereupon this flesh and blood body’s native intelligence – what is called commonsense in the real-world – freed at last from the straight-jacketed demands of abstract logic was able to operate of its own accord. Thinking was thus reasonable ... practical, pragmatic, down-to-earth, matter-of-fact, rational thought.
RICK: Richard, have you come across the site theabsolute.net or a forum called the Genius Forum? RICHARD: Yes ... in 1997 when I first came onto the internet (I subscribed to the associated mailing list and carried
on an extensive correspondence for several months) RICK: What’s your take on it? RICHARD: I am well-pleased not to be a genius. RICK: There seem to be many parallels between the thoughts on the site and yours. RICHARD: You have to be joking, right? RICK: The site and the forum is run by 3 enlightened individuals also from Australia. RICHARD: The site and the forum are run by three individuals living in Australia who make the claim to be enlightened. RICK: There is a book on the forum site called ‘Wisdom of the Infinite’ ... it’s a book that describes the necessary method towards enlightening the mind in a step by step analysis of Reality. I’d be very interested to read your take on it. RICHARD: I am well-pleased not to be wise.
RICK: Richard, in regards to the actualist method, is ‘... the only moment I’m ever alive’ phrase helpful after asking the ‘how am I experiencing ...’ question? Are there benefits to saying that statement along with the question? Or is ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ sufficient enough to become actually free? RICHARD: The reason why I draw attention to the fact that this moment is the only moment one is ever alive when responding to queries about the actualism method – asking oneself, each moment again, how one is experiencing this moment of being alive (the only moment one is ever alive) until it becomes a non-verbal attitude/a wordless approach to life – is so as to provide for an undivided attention or exclusive focus upon what is currently occurring ... this moment being the very place, so to speak, where not only everything happens but where radical change can, and does, occur. If there be not this salient comprehension (that this moment is the only moment one is ever alive) then tacking that phrase onto the actualism question – until it too becomes a non-verbal attitude/a wordless approach to life – would, presumably, be helpful in gaining that understanding.
RICK: Richard, how’re you doing? RICHARD: Welcome to The Actual Freedom Trust mailing list ... and I am doing exceedingly well, thank you. RICK: I’m 18 and trying to become free of the human condition. I spend pretty much every conscious moment applying your method to feel good, become a better person, appreciate more of life, and to ultimately be free and live in actuality. Right now, I’m trying to face these emotions and feelings that occur in me while applying your method. I ask myself ‘the question’ over and over again while playing a fancy trick with myself ... if I’m feeling a bad feeling of some kind (which is a lot of the time), I don’t try and change it or avoid it or nothing, I let it come in and do its thing and try and enjoy it somehow. Like if I’m in a state of fear, I take your cue and focus on the thrilling part of being in dread. It’s some ride. I do this with all these bad feelings. If I’m bored or feeling some other unpleasantness, I look at the feeling and focus on the real rush in experiencing these ‘annoying and tickling feelings’ and somehow enjoy the fact that it’s bothering but somehow thrilling because it’s causing me to think and feel all these bizarre things and its amazing in someway. Quite hard to explain but it’s having some success in that it’s helping me cope. Am I on the right track here, or should I be approaching emotional issues differently? RICHARD: Here is the essence of the way I have previously explained how asking oneself, each moment again, how one is experiencing this moment of being alive (the only moment one is ever alive), until it becomes a non-verbal attitude/a wordless approach to life, works in practice:
RICK: I don’t want to walk down the wrong path here. RICHARD: Okay ... then there is no need to keep on feeling the same feelings over and over again: if you are old enough to read and comprehend these words then you are old enough to have felt all those feelings umpteen times already ... enough is enough. The aim, therefore, is to minimise both the ‘good’ feelings – the affectionate and desirable emotions and passions
(those that are loving and trusting) – and the ‘bad’ feelings – the hostile and invidious emotions and passions (those that are hateful and
fearful) – by nipping them in the bud This enables one to (initially) feel good, to (then) feel happy and harmless, to (eventually) feel perfect for 99% of the time (a virtual freedom) ... and by thus deactivating both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ feelings, and therefore activating the felicitous/ innocuous feelings (happiness, delight, joie de vivre/ bonhomie, friendliness, amiability and so on), then with this freed-up affective energy maximised, in conjunction with sensuousness (delectation, enjoyment, appreciation, relish, zest, gusto and so on), the ensuing sense of amazement, marvel and wonder can result in apperceptiveness (unmediated perception). In short: it is the on-going felicitous and innocuous sensuousness which ensures a win-win situation. RICK: I want to live in actuality and not head down anywhere else like enlightenment or depression. For a few years I was trying to become spiritually enlightened and ended up severely depressed. I don’t want to go near that road again. RICHARD: Well then ... you would know quite well, by your own experience, that once a feeling (or a mood) gets a grip it is incredibly difficult to claw one’s way out: hence it is far better to nip it in the bud before it gets to that stage. Incidentally, ‘nipping it in the bud’ is not to be confused with either suppression/ repression or ignoring/ avoiding ... it is to be consciously and deliberatively – with knowledge aforethought – declining oh-so-sensibly to futilely go down that well-trodden path to nowhere fruitful yet again. RICK: Appreciate your input. RICHARD: You are welcome ... and, just by-the-by, the cue to focus on the thrilling aspect of fear, rather than the fearsome aspect, applies to when fear has got a tenacious grip (through not having nipped it in the bud before it got up and running). It is a technique, in other words, to deal with full-blown fear ... and not the method per se.
RICK: Richard, could you list as many characteristics as possible that you would ascribe to the universe, please. Such as benign, infinite, wonderful, marvellous, eternal, a veritable perpetuus mobilis etc. As many as possible would be neat to look see. I’m just curious to read what the universe is and therefore what it isn’t from a pure consciousness experiencer. RICHARD: The fundamental characteristic, or nature, of the universe is its infinitude Having no other/ no opposite this infinitude and/or absoluteness has the property of being without compare/ incomparable, as in peerless/ matchless, and is thus perfect (complete-in-itself, consummate, ultimate). And this is truly wonderful to behold. Being perfect this infinitude and/or absoluteness has the qualities (qualia are intrinsic to properties) of being flawless/ faultless, as in impeccable/ immaculate, and is thus pure/ pristine. And which is indubitably a marvellous state of affairs. Inherent to such perfection, such purity, are the values (properties plus qualities equals values) of benignity – ‘of a thing: favourable, propitious, salutary’ (Oxford Dictionary) – and benevolence (as in being well-disposed, beneficent, bounteous, and so on) ... and which are values in the sense of ‘the quality of a thing considered in respect of its ability to serve a specified purpose or cause an effect’. (Oxford Dictionary). And that, to say the least, is quite amazing. * RICK: Another thing: I am getting somewhat tired of applying your method and not experiencing a pure consciousness experience. RICHARD: The purpose of applying the method, which the identity inhabiting this flesh and blood body all those years ago devised, is two-fold – to be of an immediate benefit (an ongoing affective felicity/ innocuity) and an ultimate benefaction (an enduring actual felicity/ innocuity) – and is thus a win-win situation inasmuch as in the meanwhile, if the ultimate be yet to come about, a virtual freedom is way, way beyond normal human expectations. RICK: It has been about a year now that I’ve been diligently applying the method and have not been able to remember nor experience one yet. RICHARD: Maybe, just maybe, the activation of the amazement, the marvelling, and the wonderment, already mentioned above might be in order? And I only mention this because sensuosity is an integral part of the process of being as happy and as harmless as is humanly possible. RICK: I feel more at ease with life, yes. RICHARD: I have just now re-read our only other exchange (five months ago) wherein, regarding the application of the actualism method, you reported [quote] ‘it’s having some success in that it’s helping me cope’ [endquote] and what immediately springs to mind is that [quote] ‘feeling more at ease with life ’ [endquote] is streets ahead of merely being helped to cope. And I am not just ‘talking you up’ as experience has shown that, while peoples are quite ready to self-criticise and bemoan their fate, they are less likely to as readily self-congratulate and applaud their progression out of same. Try patting yourself on the back for each and every success ... as a boost to confidence a well-deserved accolade is a tonic like no other. RICK: But I’m still feeling lost and I feel a well deserved PCE is what I need to put some focus, clarity and motivation in ridding the ‘parasitical entity inhabiting this flesh and blood body’. What to do? RICHARD: Again, and especially as you mention feeling lost, come to your senses – literally – as much as is possible so as to better enjoy and appreciate being alive on this verdant and azure planet, which is simply floating/ hanging effortlessly in infinite space at this moment in eternal time, by cultivating the awareness that everything and everybody is coming from nowhere and nowhen and is, similarly, going nowhere and nowhen as everything and everybody only ever actually exists right now. Put succinctly: there is nowhere/ nowhen else to be ... this is it!
RICK: Hey how’s it going, Richard? I have a question to ask you... I have recently discovered the benefits of buying and smoking rolling-tobacco (it was your writing that gave me the idea in the first place). I discovered that not only is the taste so much better than name-brand pre-rolled tobacco, but immensely cheaper here in the States (200 cigarettes worth of tobacco for every two of packs of name-brand cigarettes). Also, the art of hand-rolling tobacco, I have found, is a lot of fun as I am improving my technique, little by little. The variety of rolling-tobacco in this part of Virginia is pretty limited (maybe at a tobacco barn they’ll be more variety). I have tried Beuglar, Top, and Drum tobacco (maybe you’ve heard of them). I am new to rolling my own cigarettes and looking for suggestions on good quality stuff. I am curious, what brands do you prefer? Any other tobacco connoisseurs have any input? RICHARD: Dr. Pat Ready Rubbed 50g (packed for Imperial Tobacco Australia Ltd., at Petone, New Zealand).
RICHARD: What I find interesting is that I made a living as a practising artist, as well as being a duly qualified art-teacher in the fine arts, for a period in my working life – which is, primarily, to be a purveyor of beauty (a beauty-pusher as it were) – yet beauty itself was never questioned ... even though more than a few enlightened/ awakened ones clearly state that it is through beauty that truth (often capitalised as ‘Truth’) is to be found. RICK: Do you know of any of your works being on public display, like on the internet? RICHARD: No. RICK: If it’s possible, could you share some of your art-works with the list? RICHARD: I do not know where any of it is – that era of my life took place more than a quarter of a century ago – and as all the book-keeping records were destroyed, in the studio fire which brought my career as a practising artist to an abrupt end, there is really no way of finding out where it went to.
RICK: Richard, I’ve read that in order to self-immolate, one needs to harness altruism in the purest sense. My problem is, I really don’t care as much about other people as I do myself ... I really am only concerned about myself and my issues. I really don’t have time to worry about someone else’s problems as I have too much to deal with concerning myself. I know however that, according to you, altruism is the key to success in order to self-immolate. What can a person in my situation do to best harness this sense of pure altruism? I can’t really seem to muster much sympathy and compassion (at least not enough to do anything about it like altruistically self-immolate) for those people on the news suffering because of this or that. How can I become less and less selfish and more concerned about others (as that is what it seems to require for success)? Maybe I need to fix my own personal problems first before I can worry about others’? RICHARD: First of all, the word altruism can be used in two distinctly different ways – in a virtuous sense (as in being an unselfish/ selfless self) or in a zoological/ biological sense (as in being diametrically opposite to selfism) – and it is the latter which is of particular interest to a person wanting to enable the already always existing peace-on-earth into being apparent, in this lifetime as this flesh and blood body, as it takes a powerful instinctive impulse (altruism) to overcome a powerful instinctive impulse (selfism) ... blind nature endows each and every human being with both the selfish instinct for individual survival and the clannish instinct for group survival (be it the familial group, the tribal group, or the national group). By and large the instinct for survival of the group is the more powerful – as is epitomised in the honey-bee (when it stings to protect/ defend the hive it dies) – and it is the utilisation of this once-in-a-lifetime gregarian action which is referred to when I speak of an altruistic ‘self’-immolation or ‘self’-sacrifice, in toto, for the benefit of this body and that body and every body. It has nothing to do with becoming [quote] ‘less selfish and more concerned about others’ [endquote] as human beings are
all in the same boat in regards the human condition
And:
You say you really are only concerned about yourself and your issues ... have you ever desired oblivion?
RICK: Richard, I’ve read that in order to self-immolate, one needs to harness altruism in the purest sense. My problem is, I really don’t care as much about other people as I do myself ... I really am only concerned about myself and my issues. I really don’t have time to worry about someone else’s problems as I have too much to deal with concerning myself. I know however that, according to you, altruism is the key to success in order to self-immolate. What can a person in my situation do to best harness this sense of pure altruism? I can’t really seem to muster much sympathy and compassion (at least not enough to do anything about it like altruistically self-immolate) for those people on the news suffering because of this or that. How can I become less and less selfish and more concerned about others (as that is what it seems to require for success)? Maybe I need to fix my own personal problems first before I can worry about others’? RICHARD: First of all, the word altruism can be used in two distinctly different ways – in a virtuous sense (as in being an unselfish/ selfless self) or in a zoological/ biological sense (as in being diametrically opposite to selfism) – and it is the latter which is of particular interest to a person wanting to enable the already always existing peace-on-earth into being apparent, in this lifetime as this flesh and blood body, as it takes a powerful instinctive impulse (altruism) to overcome a powerful instinctive impulse (selfism) ... blind nature endows each and every human being with both the selfish instinct for individual survival and the clannish instinct for group survival (be it the familial group, the tribal group, or the national group). RICK: Yes, okay ... Well I suppose my problem is that I can’t or don’t know how to utilise this powerful instinctive impulse of altruism ... My predominant impulse seems to be selfism (a concentration of my own interests). RICHARD: Of course your predominant impulse is selfism (the selfish instinct for individual survival) for that is the way blind nature functions – until/ unless some situation evokes altruism (the clannish instinct for group survival) that is – inasmuch there is the biological imperative to stay alive long enough to reproduce. It is as straightforward as this: blind nature does not care two-hoots about you and me personally – essentially blind nature is only concerned with the survival of the species (and any species will do as far as blind nature is concerned) – but I do ... the question is: do you? * RICHARD: By and large the instinct for survival of the group is the more powerful – as is epitomised in the honey-bee (when it stings to protect/ defend the hive it dies) – and it is the utilisation of this once-in-a-lifetime gregarian action which is referred to when I speak of an altruistic ‘self’-immolation or ‘self’-sacrifice, in toto, for the benefit of this body and that body and every body. RICK: The key it seems is figure out how I can utilise this once-in-a-lifetime gregarian action that you refer to. It sounds like something I would definitely want to do ... and as soon as possible. RICHARD: Okay ... you wrote earlier about people on the news suffering because of this or that: do you too suffer because of this or that? * RICHARD: It has nothing to do with becoming [quote] ‘less selfish and more concerned about others’ [endquote] as human beings are all in the same boat in regards the human condition – no one is better off than another, at the core of their being, or worse off than someone else – and everything to do with wanting, with all of one’s being, to bring to an end, once and for all, the inherent suffering which epitomises human nature. Viz.:
RICK: I suppose I am not ‘curious’ as to what makes me tick. I am ‘interested’ as to what makes me tick for the main reason that that is part of the means to my end (oblivion). Actually being ‘curious’ is a distant second. RICHARD: Do you comprehend that oblivion is the end of suffering forever? * RICHARD: (...) You say you really are only concerned about yourself and your issues ... have you ever desired oblivion? RICK: Ever since becoming aware of the possibility of such a thing and what it entails. RICHARD: Not before that (as expressed in the classic example of seeking oblivion in alcohol, or some other drug, so as to blot out all the cares and worries for a while), though? RICK: For a year and a half I’ve wanted ‘die’. RICHARD: Why? RICK: And I’ve had no success so I am looking for reasons as to why it hasn’t happened yet. RICHARD: Your answer to the previous question may very well provide a vital clue ... it does entail finding out about the workings of yourself (what makes you tick) of course. RICK: Lack of utilisation of that instinctive impulse of wanting to sacrifice myself for the world or humanity (altruism) might have something to do with it. It might be that I have yet to recall a PCE or experienced a fresh one yet. It could be that I have not yet been able to satisfiably maximize felicitous feelings and minimize ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings. It could be that I don’t have an extensive understanding of the workings of my psyche and the human condition. RICHARD: Again ... why, for a year and a half, have you wanted to ‘die’? RICK: But yes, the ultimate goal is death of ‘me’ and everything ‘I’ am before physical death. I just really don’t know how to go about it. Simply wishing (with everything I’ve got, though) for it to happen hasn’t worked. RICHARD: Nor is it likely to work ... it is all a question of motive at this stage.
RICK: Richard, I’ve read that in order to self-immolate, one needs to harness altruism in the purest sense. My problem is, I really don’t care as much about other people as I do myself ... I really am only concerned about myself and my issues. I really don’t have time to worry about someone else’s problems as I have too much to deal with concerning myself. I know however that, according to you, altruism is the key to success in order to self-immolate. What can a person in my situation do to best harness this sense of pure altruism? I can’t really seem to muster much sympathy and compassion (at least not enough to do anything about it like altruistically self-immolate) for those people on the news suffering because of this or that. How can I become less and less selfish and more concerned about others (as that is what it seems to require for success)? Maybe I need to fix my own personal problems first before I can worry about others’? RICHARD: First of all, the word altruism can be used in two distinctly different ways – in a virtuous sense (as in being an unselfish/ selfless self) or in a zoological/ biological sense (as in being diametrically opposite to selfism) – and it is the latter which is of particular interest to a person wanting to enable the already always existing peace-on-earth into being apparent, in this lifetime as this flesh and blood body, as it takes a powerful instinctive impulse (altruism) to overcome a powerful instinctive impulse (selfism) ... blind nature endows each and every human being with both the selfish instinct for individual survival and the clannish instinct for group survival (be it the familial group, the tribal group, or the national group). RICK: Yes, okay ... Well I suppose my problem is that I can’t or don’t know how to utilise this powerful instinctive impulse of altruism ... My predominant impulse seems to be selfism (a concentration of my own interests). RICHARD: Of course your predominant impulse is selfism (the selfish instinct for individual survival) for that is the way blind nature functions – until/ unless some situation evokes altruism (the clannish instinct for group survival) that is – inasmuch there is the biological imperative to stay alive long enough to reproduce. RICK: Okay. How should I go about to bring out and utilise this clannish instinct of group survival in myself to overcome the predominant but less powerful impulse of selfism? RICHARD: As altruism is an instinctive impulse (and not a matter of will), and as it is a situation (and not wishfulness) which evokes that powerful instinct for group survival, then unless the fact that any action within the human condition is bound to fail is grasped with both hands, and taken on board to such an extent that it hits home deeply, the predominant impulse for individual survival, even though less powerful, will prevail. RICK: What works most effectively? RICHARD: The situation of course ... despite all of humanity’s hard-won civilisation (socialisation, humanisation, edification, education, refinement, sophistication) both those people on the news you wrote about earlier, and yourself, are still suffering because of this or that. * RICHARD: It is as straightforward as this: blind nature does not care two-hoots about you and me personally – essentially blind nature is only concerned with the survival of the species (and any species will do as far as blind nature is concerned) – but I do ... the question is: do you? RICK: Yeah, neither blind nature nor the cosmos care whether I am happy or not. But I certainly care about myself and am concerned about my well-being ... sure. RICHARD: Perhaps if I were to put it this way (with emphasis on the plural): blind nature does not care two-hoots about *individuals* – essentially blind nature is only concerned with the survival of the species (and any species will do as far as blind nature is concerned) – but an individual does ... the question is: do you? * RICHARD: By and large the instinct for survival of the group is the more powerful – as is epitomised in the honey-bee (when it stings to protect/ defend the hive it dies) – and it is the utilisation of this once-in-a-lifetime gregarian action which is referred to when I speak of an altruistic ‘self’-immolation or ‘self’-sacrifice, in toto, for the benefit of this body and that body and every body. RICK: The key it seems is figure out how I can utilise this once-in-a-lifetime gregarian action that you refer to. It sounds like something I would definitely want to do ... and as soon as possible. RICHARD: Okay ... you wrote earlier about people on the news suffering because of this or that: do you too suffer because of this or that? RICK: Well as far as heartache, anxiety, depression, emotional pains, and general feelings of malice and sorrow ... yes. RICHARD: That is precisely what I am enquiring about (the suffering which ‘this or that’ can bring to the surface): is that not your own suffering there – on the news each time you tune in – reflected back at you as if looking into a mirror? RICK: As far as experiencing starvation, torture, rape, grief of a slain loved one, or any other traumatic things that are happening to people right now in the news and around the world ... no, not presently. RICHARD: It matters not just what particular ‘this or that’ it is which brings up the suffering – such as the heartache, anxiety, depression, emotional pains, and general feelings of malice and sorrow you mention – as it is that suffering which makes for ‘traumatic things’ (turns events into traumas). Life is not ‘a vale of tears’ here in this actual world. * RICHARD: It has nothing to do with becoming [quote] ‘less selfish and more concerned about others’ [endquote] as human beings are all in the same boat in regards the human condition – no one is better off than another, at the core of their being, or worse off than someone else – and everything to do with wanting, with all of one’s being, to bring to an end, once and for all, the inherent suffering which epitomises human nature. Viz.:
RICK: I suppose I am not ‘curious’ as to what makes me tick. I am ‘interested’ as to what makes me tick for the main reason that that is part of the means to my end (oblivion). Actually *being* ‘curious’ is a distant second. RICHARD: Do you comprehend that oblivion is the end of suffering forever? RICK: Indeed ... That is my understanding. RICHARD: The key to being free, then, is not altruism per se but wanting, with all of one’s being, to bring to an end, once and for all, the inherent suffering which epitomises human nature. Viz.:
* RICHARD: You say you really are only concerned about yourself and your issues ... have you ever desired oblivion? RICK: Ever since becoming aware of the possibility of such a thing and what it entails. RICHARD: Not before that (as expressed in the classic example of seeking oblivion in alcohol, or some other drug, so as to blot out all the cares and worries for a while), though? RICK: I am not sure I follow. Escaping from temporary suffering is definitely something I have always practiced (since a little kid) and still do so in activities such as television programs, alcohol intoxication, video gaming, sex or masturbation, playing sports, smoking tobacco, listening to music, reading whatever sparks my interest either on the net or on paper, eating great food, and enjoying anything humorous are all things that absorb me so much, that sometimes, I am *almost* completely oblivious to any problems or concerns I presently have. These are all temporary though and when they cease, reflection about my sorry and pathetic state of living resurface. Permanent oblivion and permanent happiness was something I never even considered a possibility until I came across your writings approximately a year and a half ago. RICHARD: All I was ascertaining was whether you had ever desired oblivion before coming across the actualism words and writings ... for then there is a deep urge just sitting there waiting, as it were, to come to the surface given the right opportunity. A cautionary note: one has to be absolutely certain that this course of action is what one really wants to do – for once unleashed it is impossible to stuff it back in the bottle – as there were several occasions along the way where the identity inhabiting this flesh and blood body all those years ago wished ‘he’ had never taken the cap off. * RICK: For a year and a half I’ve wanted ‘die’. RICHARD: Why? RICK: Because I want to permanently do away with my personal suffering and the suffering I cause towards others by simply being alive. There was and is way too much suffering that I have caused/ am causing towards myself and those around me. Dying seems to be the only thing to do to end the pain. It is nice to hear that such a thing is possible without actually killing the body. Psychological and psychic ‘self’-immolation, death of everything ‘I’ am and ever have been for the sake of peace-on-earth for this body, in this lifetime, is extremely appealing. RICHARD: You say it nice to hear that such a thing is possible without actually killing the body ... have you ever desired that (physical death)? * RICK: And I’ve had no success so I am looking for reasons as to why it hasn’t happened yet. RICHARD: Your answer to the previous question may very well provide a vital clue ... it does entail finding out about the workings of yourself (what makes you tick) of course. RICK: My answer to the previous question didn’t offer any apparent clue as to why I am failing to ‘die’. I would not expect it to though because my reason for wanting to ‘die’ has been pretty clear to me for quite some time (about a year and a half). Do you see any clue to why it hasn’t happened yet based on my answer to the previous question you asked me or any other of my responses? RICHARD: Yes (although it could just be the way you put sentences together) ... for instance what the words ‘it is nice to hear ...’ conveys is poles apart from what something like this does:
* RICK: Lack of utilisation of that instinctive impulse of wanting to sacrifice myself for the world or humanity (altruism) might have something to do with it. It might be that I have yet to recall a PCE or experienced a fresh one yet. It could be that I have not yet been able to satisfiably maximize felicitous feelings and minimize ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings. It could be that I don’t have an extensive understanding of the workings of my psyche and the human condition. RICHARD: Again ... why, for a year and a half, have you wanted to ‘die’? RICK: Again ... Because I don’t want to ever again be capable of experiencing even the slightest trace of pain or suffering nor be capable of inflicting upon another even the slightest trace of pain or suffering. RICHARD: Do you see the distinct difference between what you are now writing and your initial words (at the top of this page)? * RICK: But yes, the ultimate goal is death of ‘me’ and everything ‘I’ am before physical death. I just really don’t know how to go about it. Simply wishing (with everything I’ve got, though) for it to happen hasn’t worked. RICHARD: Nor is it likely to work ... it is all a question of motive at this stage. RICK: Do you mean it is all a question as to what is making me or pushing me to ‘self’-immolate. RICHARD: Yes. RICK: Or do you mean it is all a question as to what should be making me or pushing me to ‘self’-immolate. RICHARD: No. This is not a school-exam (as in coming up with the right answers and/or rephrasing answers into the right words so as to get a nod of approval) ... this is all about finding out, for oneself, the workings of oneself – what makes one tick – for then one is participating in one’s search for freedom for the first time in one’s life. And I say this as peoples mostly look to rearranging their beliefs and truths as being sufficient effort ... ‘I’ am willing to be free as long as ‘I’ can be ‘me’. In other words: their notion of freedom is a ‘clip-on’. One has to want to be free from the human condition like one has never wanted anything before. Because unless one is vitally interested in peace on earth, in this lifetime as a flesh and blood body only, one will never even begin to free the crippled intelligence from the debilitating passions bestowed by blind nature. Yet becoming vitally interested is but the preliminary stage, because until one becomes curious as to whether what is being written here about biological inheritance can be applied to themselves, only then does the first step begin. Then curiosity becomes fascination ... and thus the fun begins to gain a momentum of its own. One is drawn inexorably further and further towards one’s destiny.
RICK: Richard, I’ve read that in order to self-immolate, one needs to harness altruism in the purest sense. My problem is, I really don’t care as much about other people as I do myself ... I really am only concerned about myself and my issues. I really don’t have time to worry about someone else’s problems as I have too much to deal with concerning myself. I know however that, according to you, altruism is the key to success in order to self-immolate. What can a person in my situation do to best harness this sense of pure altruism? I can’t really seem to muster much sympathy and compassion (at least not enough to do anything about it like altruistically self-immolate) for those people on the news suffering because of this or that. How can I become less and less selfish and more concerned about others (as that is what it seems to require for success)? Maybe I need to fix my own personal problems first before I can worry about others’? RICHARD: First of all, the word altruism can be used in two distinctly different ways – in a virtuous sense (as in being an unselfish/ selfless self) or in a zoological/ biological sense (as in being diametrically opposite to selfism) – and it is the latter which is of particular interest to a person wanting to enable the already always existing peace-on-earth into being apparent, in this lifetime as this flesh and blood body, as it takes a powerful instinctive impulse (altruism) to overcome a powerful instinctive impulse (selfism) ... blind nature endows each and every human being with both the selfish instinct for individual survival and the clannish instinct for group survival (be it the familial group, the tribal group, or the national group). RICK: Yes, okay ... Well I suppose my problem is that I can’t or don’t know how to utilise this powerful instinctive impulse of altruism ... My predominant impulse seems to be selfism (a concentration of my own interests). RICHARD: Of course your predominant impulse is selfism (the selfish instinct for individual survival) for that is the way blind nature functions – until/ unless some situation evokes altruism (the clannish instinct for group survival) that is – inasmuch there is the biological imperative to stay alive long enough to reproduce. RICK: Okay. How should I go about to bring out and utilise this clannish instinct of group survival in myself to overcome the predominant but less powerful impulse of selfism? RICHARD: As altruism is an instinctive impulse (and not a matter of will), and as it is a situation (and not wishfulness) which evokes that powerful instinct for group survival, then unless the fact that any action within the human condition is bound to fail is grasped with both hands, and taken on board to such an extent that it hits home deeply, the predominant impulse for individual survival, even though less powerful, will prevail. RICK: Could you expand on that ‘the fact that any action within the human condition is bound to fail’ part, please? I’m not sure I understand. RICHARD: Throughout history, and stretching back into prehistory, many and various peoples have sought to bring about peace and harmony by many and various means ... all of which have failed, and will continue to fail, because they are actions brought about within the human condition. I have written about this before ... for example:
RICK: And how can I act outside of the human condition when ‘I’ am the human condition? RICHARD: I am not suggesting for a moment that ‘you’ can act outside of the human condition ... what I am saying, in response to you asking how you should go about bringing out and utilising the clannish instinct of group survival in yourself to overcome the predominant but less powerful impulse of selfism, is that as altruism is an instinctive impulse (and not a matter of will), and as it is a situation (and not wishfulness) which evokes that powerful instinct for group survival, then unless the fact that any action within the human condition is bound to fail is grasped with both hands, and taken on board to such an extent that it hits home deeply, the predominant impulse for individual survival, even though less powerful, will prevail. * RICK: What works most effectively? RICHARD: The situation of course ... despite all of humanity’s hard-won civilisation (socialisation, humanisation, edification, education, refinement, sophistication) both those people on the news you wrote about earlier, and yourself, are still suffering because of this or that. RICK: So I can make this situation occur (the instinctive impulse of group survival, aka altruism, aka what causes one to ‘self’-immolate) in me by grasping ‘the fact that any action within the human condition is bound to fail’. Is that right? That is what works? Among other things, I suppose. RICHARD: I will first draw your attention to the following (from further above):
Now, what works most effectively, to bring out and utilise the clannish instinct of group survival in yourself to overcome the predominant but less powerful impulse of selfism, is none other the very situation you find both yourself and others already in ... to wit: suffering because of [quote] ‘this or that’ [endquote]. It is as straightforward as this: blind nature does not care two-hoots about you and me personally – essentially blind nature is only concerned with the survival of the species (and any species will do as far as blind nature is concerned) – but I do ... the question is: do you? * RICHARD: It is as straightforward as this: blind nature does not care two-hoots about you and me personally – essentially blind nature is only concerned with the survival of the species (and any species will do as far as blind nature is concerned) – but I do ... the question is: do you? RICK: Yeah, neither blind nature nor the cosmos care whether I am happy or not. But I certainly care about myself and am concerned about my well-being ... sure. RICHARD: Perhaps if I were to put it this way (with emphasis on the plural): blind nature does not care two-hoots about *individuals* – essentially blind nature is only concerned with the survival of the species (and any species will do as far as blind nature is concerned) – but an individual does ... the question is: do you? RICK: You are asking if I care about particular individuals like family, friends, pets? RICHARD: No, I am asking if you care about individuals, period ... because all human beings are in the same boat in regards the human condition (no one is better off than another, at the core of their being, or worse off than someone else). * RICHARD: By and large the instinct for survival of the group is the more powerful – as is epitomised in the honey-bee (when it stings to protect/ defend the hive it dies) – and it is the utilisation of this once-in-a-lifetime gregarian action which is referred to when I speak of an altruistic ‘self’-immolation or ‘self’-sacrifice, in toto, for the benefit of this body and that body and every body. RICK: The key it seems is figure out how I can utilise this once-in-a-lifetime gregarian action that you refer to. It sounds like something I would definitely want to do ... and as soon as possible. RICHARD: Okay ... you wrote earlier about people on the news suffering because of this or that: do you too suffer because of this or that? RICK: Well as far as heartache, anxiety, depression, emotional pains, and general feelings of malice and sorrow ... yes. RICHARD: That is precisely what I am enquiring about (the suffering which ‘this or that’ can bring to the surface): is that not your own suffering there – on the news each time you tune in – reflected back at you as if looking into a mirror? RICK: Hmm ... yeah, pretty much the same. RICHARD: In what way is your heartache, anxiety, depression, emotional pains, and general feelings of malice and sorrow (for instance) at all different from the heartache, anxiety, depression, emotional pains, and general feelings of malice and sorrow you see in people on the news suffering from because of [quote] ‘this or that’ [endquote]? RICK: There are things that people go through that I can’t relate to though (like how they react towards a certain situation is quite different then how I would react). RICHARD: If, for example, you were to react towards a certain situation with frustration (or with anger or fear or sorrow) in what way is that frustration (or that anger or fear or sorrow) quite different to the frustration (or the anger or fear or sorrow) of those people you are referring to? RICK: People’s frustrations, anger, fear, and sorrow happen for different reasons and I suppose it is the fact that they are feeling frustration, anger, fear or sorrow is what I have in common with them. RICHARD: Exactly ... and as the end of all the suffering, which ‘this or that’ can bring to the surface, is the end of the root cause of all the wars and murders and rapes and tortures and domestic violence and child abuse and suicides, and so on, is not the very situation you find both yourself and others already in a situation of such a magnitude as to evoke the clannish instinct of group survival? Do you not find yourself, when you see your own suffering there on the news each time you tune in reflected back at you as if looking into a mirror, wanting with all of your being, to bring to an end once and for all, the inherent suffering which epitomises human nature? * RICHARD: It has nothing to do with becoming [quote] ‘less selfish and more concerned about others’ [endquote] as human beings are all in the same boat in regards the human condition – no one is better off than another, at the core of their being, or worse off than someone else – and everything to do with wanting, with all of one’s being, to bring to an end, once and for all, the inherent suffering which epitomises human nature. Viz.:
RICK: I suppose I am not ‘curious’ as to what makes me tick. I am ‘interested’ as to what makes me tick for the main reason that that is part of the means to my end (oblivion). Actually *being* ‘curious’ is a distant second. RICHARD: Do you comprehend that oblivion is the end of suffering forever? RICK: Indeed ... That is my understanding. RICHARD: The key to being free, then, is not altruism per se but wanting, with all of one’s being, to bring to an end, once and for all, the inherent suffering which epitomises human nature. Viz.:
RICK: Yeah, I want that – I want the end to pain and suffering. And if I presently don’t want it bad enough (although I think I have sufficient motivation and desire) ... I want to want it bad enough. Basically, what is keeping me motivated is the memory of the last time I suffered greatly ... And that situation reminded me of the time before that I suffered greatly. So, what is pushing me is my memory of so many of my personal unpleasant experiences and the fear that another bout of suffering is on the horizon (which I know there will always be to a greater or lesser extent until ‘I’ am no more). I just do not want my particular suffering to go on any longer (and people’s sufferings in general because I know how much it sucks to experience emotional pains). So that is my current motivation for oblivion. RICHARD: Okay ... when you see your own suffering there on the news, each time you tune in, reflected back at you as if looking into a mirror such as to drive it home deeply to you that there is no solution whatsoever to the human condition anywhere within the human condition, do you not then find yourself wanting oblivion so much that all your instinctual passionate energy of desire, normally frittered away on petty desires, is fuelling and impelling (‘impelling’ as in a pulling from the front) you ineluctably into that, and that alone, like a moth to a candle? * (...) RICHARD: All I was ascertaining was whether you had ever desired oblivion before coming across the actualism words and writings ... for then there is a deep urge just sitting there waiting, as it were, to come to the surface given the right opportunity. RICK: If by oblivion you mean the end of pain and suffering? RICHARD: Aye ... as expressed in the classic example of seeking oblivion in alcohol, or some other drug, so as to blot out all the cares and worries for a while. RICK: Well, then yes. RICHARD: In which case there is a deep urge just sitting there waiting, as it were, to come to the surface given the right opportunity. RICK: When I was eight years old I had a traumatic experience which opened me up to new kinds of emotional pains and experiences. Ever since then I have become increasingly aware of any emotional disturbances in myself and wanted freedom from pain. About four years ago I basically decided to dedicate my time towards ‘fixing’ myself and all my issues. For some reason, things only got worse and reached a climax about a year and a half ago until I got so fed up with the method I was using to fix myself (because it wasn’t working and things were only getting worse and friends and family had been in emotional stress because of worrying about me) ... that I immediately abandoned my method (hours of meditation, spiritual/ philosophical thoughts, retreat into my ‘inner-world’ where I thought the answer lied) and sought something new. That is when I happened across the actualism writings and it hit deep and was a breath of fresh air. Mainly, the idea that psychological/ psychic ‘self’-immolation is possible and that no more pain is possible under any circumstance. RICHARD: Okay ... and has that [quote] ‘idea’ [endquote] brought to the surface the deep urge for oblivion first felt at eight years of age? * RICHARD: A cautionary note: one has to be absolutely certain that this course of action is what one really wants to do – for once unleashed it is impossible to stuff it back in the bottle – as there were several occasions along the way where the identity inhabiting this flesh and blood body all those years ago wished ‘he’ had never taken the cap off. RICK: To me, I don’t care what pains or disturbances are ahead as long as they are not in vain and I ultimately ‘die’. RICHARD: It was more the ending of ‘me’ being starkly imminent which occasioned the identity inhabiting this flesh and blood body all those years ago to wish, on several occasions along the way, ‘he’ had never taken the cap off ... emotional/ passional pains and disturbances are par for the course in everyday life in the real-world. * RICK: For a year and a half I’ve wanted ‘die’. RICHARD: Why? RICK: Because I want to permanently do away with my personal suffering and the suffering I cause towards others by simply being alive. There was and is way too much suffering that I have caused/ am causing towards myself and those around me. Dying seems to be the only thing to do to end the pain. It is nice to hear that such a thing is possible without actually killing the body. Psychological and psychic ‘self’-immolation, death of everything ‘I’ am and ever have been for the sake of peace-on-earth for this body, in this lifetime, is extremely appealing. RICHARD: You say it is nice to hear that such a thing is possible without actually killing the body ... have you ever desired that (physical death)? * RICK: And I’ve had no success so I am looking for reasons as to why it hasn’t happened yet. RICHARD: Your answer to the previous question may very well provide a vital clue ... it does entail finding out about the workings of yourself (what makes you tick) of course. RICK: My answer to the previous question didn’t offer any apparent clue as to why I am failing to ‘die’. I would not expect it to though because my reason for wanting to ‘die’ has been pretty clear to me for quite some time (about a year and a half). Do you see any clue to why it hasn’t happened yet based on my answer to the previous question you asked me or any other of my responses? RICHARD: Yes (although it could just be the way you put sentences together) ... for instance what the words ‘it is nice to hear ...’ conveys is poles apart from what something like this does: [example only]: ‘As physical death had seemed to be the only way to end all the hurt and hurting, permanently, I cannot even begin to tell you what a relief it is to hear that psychological/ psychic suicide is possible’. [end example]. RICK: Yeah, that is a much more accurate description of how I felt than the one I gave. RICHARD: This may be an apt place to copy-paste the following from further above:
* RICK: Lack of utilisation of that instinctive impulse of wanting to sacrifice myself for the world or humanity (altruism) might have something to do with it. It might be that I have yet to recall a PCE or experienced a fresh one yet. It could be that I have not yet been able to satisfiably maximize felicitous feelings and minimize ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings. It could be that I don’t have an extensive understanding of the workings of my psyche and the human condition. RICHARD: Again ... why, for a year and a half, have you wanted to ‘die’? RICK: Again ... Because I don’t want to ever again be capable of experiencing even the slightest trace of pain or suffering nor be capable of inflicting upon another even the slightest trace of pain or suffering. RICHARD: Do you see the distinct difference between what you are now writing and your initial words (at the top of this page)? RICK: Yeah, they are different things I am saying but not contradictory. RICHARD: This may be another apt place to copy-paste the following from further above:
* RICK: But yes, the ultimate goal is death of ‘me’ and everything ‘I’ am before physical death. I just really don’t know how to go about it. Simply wishing (with everything I’ve got, though) for it to happen hasn’t worked. RICHARD: Nor is it likely to work ... it is all a question of motive at this stage. RICK: Do you mean it is all a question as to what is making me or pushing me to ‘self’-immolate. RICHARD: Yes. RICK: Well the answer to that is that I am trying to permanently escape suffering and live a delightful and peaceful life. RICHARD: This may be yet another apt place to copy-paste the following from further above:
* RICK: Or do you mean it is all a question as to what should be making me or pushing me to ‘self’-immolate. RICHARD: No. This is not a school-exam (as in coming up with the right answers and/ or rephrasing answers into the right words so as to get a nod of approval) ... this is all about finding out, for oneself, the workings of oneself – what makes one tick – for then one is participating in one’s search for freedom for the first time in one’s life. RICK: Yeah, I know it is not a school exam. And I am only rephrasing answers so as to better explain my situation and where it is I’m coming from. RICHARD: This may again be yet another apt place to copy-paste the following from further above:
* RICHARD: And I say this as peoples mostly look to rearranging their beliefs and truths as being sufficient effort ... ‘I’ am willing to be free as long as ‘I’ can be ‘me’. RICK: Naw ... I don’t want to be ‘me’ anymore. I think I am tired of ‘myself’. I think everyone around me is tired of ‘me’ as well. RICHARD: It is this simple: unless one is vitally interested in peace on earth, in this lifetime as a flesh and blood body only, one will never even begin to free the crippled intelligence from the debilitating passions bestowed by blind nature. Yet becoming vitally interested is but the preliminary stage, because until one becomes curious as to whether what is being written here about biological inheritance can be applied to themselves, only then does the first step begin. Then curiosity becomes fascination ... and thus the fun begins to gain a momentum of its own. One is drawn inexorably further and further towards one’s destiny.
RETURN TO THE ACTUAL FREEDOM MAILING LIST INDEX RETURN TO RICHARD’S CORRESPONDENCE INDEX The Third Alternative (Peace On Earth In This Life Time As This Flesh And Blood Body) Here is an actual freedom from the Human Condition, surpassing Spiritual Enlightenment and any other Altered State Of Consciousness, and challenging all philosophy, psychiatry, metaphysics (including quantum physics with its mystic cosmogony), anthropology, sociology ... and any religion along with its paranormal theology. Discarding all of the beliefs that have held humankind in thralldom for aeons, the way has now been discovered that cuts through the ‘Tried and True’ and enables anyone to be, for the first time, a fully free and autonomous individual living in utter peace and tranquillity, beholden to no-one.
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