Actual Freedom – Selected Writings from Richard's Journal

Having been started in a family and society, being shaped by its structures, its rules on dependency and conformity, ‘I’ know of no other way of living but in a group. ‘I’ have learned to fear being an outcast, alone and lonely without the continuous endorsement of being a member. ‘I’ have ‘my’ particular – but adopted – beliefs and values, dogmas and creeds, ideals and ‘truths’, myths and superstitions, and so on, that make ‘me’ an accepted member of the group. The adult life of each new recruit to the human race is already laid out before one … and having been disempowered for all of ‘my’ life, ‘I’ am now looking forward to climbing further up the hierarchical ladder. ‘I’ will start ‘my’ own family – dependent upon ‘me’ this time – and ‘I’ will reinforce all of ‘my’ brainwashing by indoctrinating ‘my’ children. ‘I’ will make them, like ‘me’, into social identities ... and wards of ‘our’ culture. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Nine

Both the theist and the atheist never question whether the ‘spirit’ is a fact, or not. They will ask questions like ‘Who am I?’ but never seem to enquire ‘Am I?’. It is taken for granted that ‘I’ exist, that ‘I’ am a ‘being’ ... this tacit assumption lies behind all philosophy and theology. By accepting, as a basic premise, that ‘I’ am a fact, all ensuing speculative thought is rendered useless – unless ‘I’ am a fact – and billions of pages have been written with ‘I’ being taken as an established fact. For example, the famous statement ‘I think, therefore I am’ is basically flawed. It is assumed that there is an ‘I’ there to do the thinking in the first place. If one is to be honest and scrupulous - applying intellectual rigour - then ‘I think’ should be replaced with the correct observation which is: ‘There is thinking occurring’ … an entirely different state of affairs. This makes the conclusion: ‘Therefore I am’, ludicrous. So much for the ‘proof’ of the facticity of ‘I’. Yet one will find that whenever one searches for this ‘I’, it is ever elusive. An infinite regression takes place, for the searcher is, psychologically speaking, the subject being sought. ‘I’ cannot get outside of ‘I’ by thinking about it or feeling it out, for ‘I’ am the ‘thinker’ and the ‘feeler’. Nevertheless one needs to get outside of ‘I’ in order to have an objective standpoint to view ‘I’ from. So how is one to approach this dilemma? How is one going to arrive at the verifiable fact of independently viewing this elusive ‘I’? Imagination? Intuition? Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Fifteen

The closest approximation to the actual that ‘I’ can attain via thought can only ever be visionary states produced from utopian ideals that manifest themselves as hallucinatory chimeras. The mind, held hostage by ‘humanity’s ‘wisdom’, is a fertile breeding-ground for fanciful flights of imagination, giving rise to the fantasies and phantasms so loved and revered – and feared – by humankind. They never completely satisfy for they never last; they have no substance or intrinsic viability and doubt is never far away. In a valiant attempt to remove doubt, passion can be brought into the search. Passion can produce love.

When ‘I’ experience love ‘I’ feel that life has meaning after all. Some brash souls have attained a state of Love Agapé, thereby believing that they have found the Ultimate Meaning. They have disseminated their findings to all and sundry down through the ages ... with ruinous results. They have led humankind astray, propelling people into the heights of hope ... before plunging them into the depths of despair, when their prognostications turn out to be invalid. Yet they continue to dish out rays of hope to their desperate believers … the demand for hope by an ever increasing population in despair creates the marketing of ‘feel-good’ enterprises, giving rise to a lucrative market for Spiritual entrepreneurs. Their product is love ... and the feelings that love induces: self-acceptance, self-worth, self-esteem and the feeling of being needed. All these feelings serve to prop up an ailing self ... yet love, however lofty, is fickle and manipulative and ‘I’ must be ever vigilant. ‘I’ consist of a kaleidoscope of emotions and passions and therefore doubt is still not far away. This can hardly be called a satisfactory destination for the quest into finding the meaning of life. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Seventeen

Reality is not actuality. Reality is a world-view created and sustained by emotive thought. This affective vision is a blinkered version of what is actual. Time is actual, space is actual … and any personal interpretation of the actual is an emotional transubstantiation of it into an illusion called reality. To then transcend this reality is to take a mystical leap into an Other-Worldly Realm … a Supernatural Reality.

This Supernatural Reality is always spelt with a capital to denote Divinity. Everyday reality – which the Spiritual people call ‘worldly’ – is already an illusion, so any rising above this is to move from an illusion into a delusion. In this delusion ‘I’ feel a Oneness with all of Creation, a sense of ‘Being’. In this sense of ‘Being’, ‘I’ am Timeless and Spaceless ... in other words; Eternal and Infinite. ‘I’ have cheated Death itself. When the body dies, ‘I’ will discard it as ‘I’ would a suit of old clothes and live forever in that Transcendental Realm. ‘I’ will have attained to ‘My’ Essential Nature, which is one of Love Agapé and Divine Compassion. The Incomparable Beauty of ‘My’ Heavenly State is best described as being Ineffable ... which is to dissemble in such an ingenious way that the gullible cannot help but be impressed by and be in awe of, ‘My’ Supreme Condition. ‘I’ have realised ‘Myself’ as being the Absolute, the Supreme ... as being God Incarnate. ‘I’ have manifested ‘Myself’ in order to bring ‘My’ Teachings to humankind.

Remember, all this is a delusion born out of an illusion … it is all a feverish play in a super-active imagination, spurred on by a morbid dread of not ‘being’. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Eighteen

We are now partaking of that programme – entitled ‘The Search for Meaning’ – and a team of specialists in the field has been gathered to discuss the issue. The Facilitator introduces the guests and I see there is a Cosmologist, two Theologians – one Western and one Eastern – a Psychologist, a Philosopher and an Academic with a Humanities Degree. I am finding it to be most entertaining to be sitting back at my ease, in the comfort of my own home, listening to experts expounding on their learning to the population at large. Although, by the way that the discussion is proceeding, I do consider that they should not have been so hasty going public: they are airing their rather startling ineptitude, instead of detailing their achievements. Nevertheless, it is an interesting enough pastime for me, watching the Intelligentsia attempt to make sense of life.

The Psychologist is speaking and she is making the point that if there is no search for meaning in life, humans will all fall into despair ... such is the terrible state of life on earth. I wonder if she is a believer in Malism: the doctrine that the world is an evil one. As the others have their say, it becomes increasingly obvious that no-one is stating that there is meaning; they are all pointing out that there must be. Not one of the panel has yet said that they, personally, have found the meaning of life. It is now apparent that what they are actually discussing is self-persuasion. They may be calling it a search for meaning – thereby implying that there is such a thing as meaning in life – but nobody declares their success. Their ‘search’ is nothing more than hope ... for hope is the antidote to despair. This is becoming a psychological issue ... although the western Theologian is now weighing in with his adopted opinion. It transpires that a belief in his God is sufficient grounds for supplying meaning: by belief all humans are ‘saved’ ... whatever that means. Within a remarkably short time the focus has shifted to the Philosopher, who is talking about The Truth as arrived at through the Absolute Order as can be found in the higher reaches of mathematics ... ... and so the conference proceeds, with not a single one of the speakers standing out by being able to say that there is meaning and that they have found it. The search, obviously, is the thing to do. After all, that is the title of the show.

It is a life utterly wasted if one spends it on merely searching for meaning. The search for meaning is not the point of life. Hope is a poor substitute for actually living the reason for existence. <...>

And so the television programme is moving towards its concluding phase, with the Cosmologist finishing his view that observing the evidence of design in the cosmos, there must surely be an Intelligence behind the scenes, yet he is reluctant to call it God. Now the Academic is laying down the inviolable criteria upon which all ethics must be based. He is stating that humans must never lose sight of their prized ‘humanity’, a phrase which means that one should be humane. As humankind has an appalling track-record concerning the humanitarian stakes, a closer inspection of just what is entailed in being humane is required. However, his platitude has paid off for him, as the warm smiles of agreement on the faces of the experts and the studio audience alike indicate a feeling of integrity ... which creates the illusion that the meaning of life is apparent to one and all. It is such a smugly-glowing feeling to be temporarily situated on the bed-rock of ‘humanity’. This foundation is the illusion of ‘safety’ derived from the basic agreement between all human beings that ‘We must not lose our ‘humanity’’. As ‘our ‘humanity’’ is a feeling – to be humane is to feel compassion for others – it is notoriously unreliable. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Seventeen

When ‘I’ escape from reality by realising ‘Myself’ – the second entity – ‘I’ create Reality. Then ‘I’ am a ‘Being’, a ‘Presence’, a ‘Spirit’ that presumes to have ‘The Solution’ to the problems of life on earth. ‘I’ hawk Love Agapé and Divine Compassion around the world as being the cure-all for the ills of humankind. Living in a hallucinatory state of Ineffable Bliss ‘I’ am driven by ‘That’, the psychic Power and Authority behind the throne, to solicit emissaries, in the shape of disciples, to spread ‘My’ Word, ‘My’ Message, ‘My’ Teaching. Little do ‘I’ realise the bloody ramifications of starting yet another Religion, so convinced am ‘I’ of the Healing Power of Love Agapé and Divine Compassion. Somehow, mesmerised by the spell-binding charm of ‘My’ subliminal Divine status, ‘I’ do not bother to study the historic records, detailing the bloodshed and horrors of the Religious Wars that have come in the wake of ‘My’ predecessors: the Awakened Ones from the most Ancient of Ancients. Somehow ‘I’ am blinded by the Glory, the Glamour and the Glitz of the Supernatural Promise – never fulfilled – and fail to see the Diabolical sub-stratum that is essential to support ‘My’ lofty position. ‘I’ am impervious to the common-sense critique ... intelligence is thwarted once again, this time by the second entity.

I am not an identity, I am this body. I am not metaphysical, I am physical. I am not real, I am actual. I cannot start a religion – with their inevitable Religious Wars – for there is not the slightest trace of Religiosity or Spirituality in me. I seek no disciples for I esteem the integrity of my fellow human being too much to subject them to demeaning servitude. There is no ‘being’ in me to be fed by adulation: flattery flows off me like water from a duck’s back. The only thing that will impress me is the other person’s own achievement of the ultimate freedom … because there is nothing Supernatural that will come to save humankind. We human beings are on our own … and we are actually quite capable of ‘saving’ ourselves. It is of no use to wait for ‘That’, by whatever name, to come, for there is nothing substantive ‘out there’ – or ‘in there’ – to do the coming. There is no need to wait any longer.

All one gets by waiting is yet more waiting. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Twenty-six

The way of Religion and Spirituality – which is to believe in Power and to follow an Authority – is the traditional approach … and it has not worked. It has not proven itself capable of producing the totally free person. How can the acceptance of might and dominion put one into the necessary position of naiveté and ingenuousness that is required to freely investigate and to discover, to explore and to uncover, to seek and to find? To discard all authority, including one’s own, is to start free of the ‘Tried and True’ … which is the essential pre-requisite to be able to ascertain the veracity of that which is pristine and impeccable for oneself. It is to take the risk and be intrepid enough to go all the way into what it is to be a human being in this world as-it-is; leaving no stone unturned in the endeavour to determine for oneself, once and for all, that purity and perfection which arises from a perennial stillness of the infinitude of the universe … which is the genesis of all that is apparent.

If one sees for oneself the danger of pursuing the age-old quest for The Truth – not merely believing me, making me into another Authority and Power – then one is already well on the way to being free to investigate and appreciate that this inherent purity and perfection which I am speaking of is a fact for oneself. It is of no use to but hear me … one needs to discover it on one’s own. Then it is one’s own breakthrough, it is one’s own unfolding, it is one’s own unearthing. Even if it is – as it will be – the self-same discovery that I have made, it will be one’s own breakthrough. This makes a big difference … this is an enormous thing to actualise. Each person finds for themselves that which is immutable, that which is perpetually fresh. This is the very magical character of this universe: this life one is living is intricately perfect in all respects, for it is up to oneself to apprehend the vastness of the infinitude and live it, each moment again.

The Truth is but a delusion born out of an illusion. There are two ways to approach The Truth: through Love or via Beauty. Enough has already been said about Love’s shortcomings to regard any Truth arrived at via Love to immediately come under a cloud of outright suspicion. As for The Truth as arrived at via Beauty: Western philosophers have long been of the opinion that in order to ‘do’ philosophy correctly, one must study and master the higher realms of mathematics. The reason for this is that to feel assured that a particular philosophical hypothesis is sound it must have an ‘elegance’ … identical to the ‘elegance’ of a mathematical equation. ‘Elegance’ is the mathematician’s and philosopher’s favoured word for Beauty. Many a time have I read in a philosophical treatise the author extolling the virtues of the ‘elegance’ of the particular theory. Beauty, they all state, contains The Truth … it is intrinsic to the nature of Beauty that it points to The Truth, just as it is intrinsic in the nature of Love to promise Eternity. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Thirty-five

Or the same as it is intrinsic in Suffering that it is Good for one … it implies that it ‘makes one stronger’. These are all feelings … and just because a feeling makes it seem ‘Right’ or ‘Good’, it is not necessarily correct in an actual sense. A feeling – an emotion or a passion – is a feeling, not a fact. Feelings, whilst being very real, are not actual. And while Eastern philosophers opt for what Westerners consider to be the more esoteric approach to The Truth - which amounts to a spiritual search for meaning - they too go via the affective faculties. Although Western philosophy is also spiritual at root, it is fondly considered to be more exoteric and therefore more likely to be true. No-Mind, The Void, Emptiness, Suchness, Isness and so on are the Eastern philosopher’s discovery of their version of The Truth as revealed to them in their super-charged imagination.

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(Peace On Earth In This Life Time As This Flesh And Blood Body)

Here is an actual freedom from the Human Condition, surpassing Spiritual Enlightenment and any other Altered State Of Consciousness, and challenging all philosophy, psychiatry, metaphysics (including quantum physics with its mystic cosmogony), anthropology, sociology ... and any religion along with its paranormal theology. Discarding all of the beliefs that have held humankind in thralldom for aeons, the way has now been discovered that cuts through the ‘Tried and True’ and enables anyone to be, for the first time, a fully free and autonomous individual living in utter peace and tranquillity, beholden to no-one.

Richard’s Text ©The Actual Freedom Trust: 1997-.  All Rights Reserved.