Actual Freedom – Selected Writings from Richard's Journal

I have no doubts that actualism is for anybody and everybody … anybody, that is, who is willing to go all the way into what is possible for a human being to actualise. And what is possible is a purity that is way beyond ‘normal’ human expectations; actualism is vastly superior to anything that has ever gone before in human history … and there has been a plenitude of ‘isms’ to precede this venture. However, all of those ‘Tried and True’ philosophies and doctrines have failed again and again to produce the promised effect. Actualism works because it produces the desired results along the way … the goal in life being to live freely now, not off in some distant future. After all, this moment is the only moment of being alive; this is the only moment to feel good in, for the past is no longer, the future is not yet and the present is but an illusion sandwiched betwixt the two. If one examines one’s life carefully, one will quickly ascertain that it is always this moment … and if one is not feeling good right now, then that is a signal that something is amiss. Consequently, one can rectify the situation and ‘get back on track’ as swiftly as possible … the aim being to have ‘feeling good’ as a bottom line in one’s life. The essence of actualism is to constantly ask oneself this: How is one experiencing this moment of being alive?

If one can only see all the misery – the animosity and the anguish – which abounds in the ‘human’ world then any observant and sincere person would realise that society can only be changed when the particular human being fundamentally and radically mutates. Then the onus for that falls upon the singular person – instead of upon an institution, an organisation – to change the world. It behoves one to put one’s money where one’s mouth is … to get off one’s backside and do something … now. Only action – action within oneself – will do the trick. To sit and idealise about change, about transformation, is simply not good enough. One has to do it … actually do it. No one else will do it for one; no one else can do it for one. One must mutate … and soon. And although one may think and feel that it would be a lonely journey to take on one’s own … it is not. It is the most joyous escapade one can ever enter into. It is the jaunt of a lifetime. It is what one is here for and only you can do it. It is not and never will be a mass movement. Then, and only then, will society be changed forever … and irreversibly so.

When one sees the connection between the discord inside one and the discord in society; when one realises that one’s own condition is the ‘Human Condition’; then one understands, actually understands, that ‘I’ am ‘society’ and ‘society’ is ‘me’. ‘I’ live in the head as ego and in the heart as soul and one needs to go to the very root of ‘me’ as a rudimentary self to effect change in ‘society’ … for ‘I’ am no different from ‘society’. It is the ‘Human Condition’ which has created the ‘Human Constitution’ with its instinctual fear and aggression and nurture and desire … this is the genesis of malice and sorrow. And humans set about eagerly to change this animosity and anguish, fiddling with bits and pieces in a valiant but ultimately futile attempt to ameliorate the ‘Human Constitution’. This is not to decry the advances made in the civilising process … but to expect to fundamentally change human beings by changing the ‘Human Constitution’ is to invite disappointment. As long as one remains a social identity one creates and perpetuates this mess, this sorry lot that is the ‘Human Constitution’. There is only one person who can effect change in oneself – nobody else can do it for one – and the process can start now. Indeed, it must begin now, for this is one’s life one is living … the only life one has.

To procrastinate is to perpetuate all the suffering and wretchedness that has beset humankind since time immemorial. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Thirty-Four

The way of becoming actually free is both simple and practical. One starts by dismantling the sense of social identity that has been overlaid, from birth onward, over the innate self until one is virtually free from all the social mores and psittacisms … those mechanical repetitions of previously received ideas or images, reflecting neither apperception nor autonomous reasoning. One can be virtually free from all the beliefs, ideas, values, theories, truths, customs, traditions, ideals, superstitions … and all the other schemes and dreams. One can become aware of all the socialisation, of all the conditioning, of all the programming, of all the methods and techniques that were used to produce what one thinks and feels oneself to be ... a wayward social identity careering around in confusion and illusion. A ‘mature adult’ is actually a lost, lonely, frightened and very cunning entity. However, it is never too late to start in on uncovering and discovering what one actually is.

One can become virtually free from all the insidious feelings – the emotions and passions – that fuel the mind and give credence to all the illusions and delusions and fantasies and hallucinations that masquerade as visions of The Truth. One can become virtually free of all that which has encumbered humans with misery and despair and live in a state of virtual freedom … which is beyond ‘normal’ human expectations anyway. Then, and only then, can the day of destiny dawn wherein one becomes actually free. One will have obtained release from one’s fate and achieved one’s birthright … and the world will be all the better for it.

It is now possible. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Introduction

Begin by asking, each moment again: How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?

Before applying the actualism method – the ongoing enjoyment and appreciation of this moment of being alive – it is essential for success to grasp the fact that this very moment which is happening now is your only moment of being alive. The past, although it did happen, is not actual now. The future, though it will happen, is not actual now. Only now is actual. Yesterday’s happiness and harmlessness does not mean a thing if one is miserable and malicious now and a hoped-for happiness and harmlessness tomorrow is to but waste this moment of being alive in waiting. All one gets by waiting is more waiting. Thus any ‘change’ can only happen now. The jumping in point is always here; it is at this moment in time and this place in space. Thus, if one misses it this time around, hey presto, one has another chance immediately. Life is excellent at providing opportunities like this.

What ‘I’ did, all those years ago, was to devise a remarkably effective way to be able to enjoy and appreciate this moment of being alive each moment again (I know that methods are to be actively discouraged, in some people’s eyes, but this one worked). It does take some doing to start off with but, as success after success starts to multiply exponentially, it becomes progressively easier to enjoy and appreciate being here each moment again. One begins by asking, each moment again, ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive’?

Note: asking how one is experiencing this moment of being alive is not the actualism method; consistently enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive is what the actualism method is. And this is because the actualism method is all about consciously and knowingly imitating life in the actual world. Also, by virtue of proceeding in this manner the means to the end – an ongoing enjoyment and appreciation – are no different to the end itself.

As one knows, from the pure consciousness experiences (PCE’s) that everybody has at some stage in their life, that it is possible to experience this moment in time and this place in space as perfection personified, ‘I’ set the minimum standard of experience for myself: feeling good. If ‘I’ am not feeling good then ‘I’ have something to look at to find out why. What has happened, between the last time ‘I’ felt good and now? When did ‘I’ feel good last? Five minutes ago? Five hours ago? What happened to end that good feeling? Ah … yes: ‘He said that and …’. Or: ‘She didn’t do this and I …’. Or: ‘What I wanted was …’. Or: ‘I didn’t do …’. And so on and so on … one does not have to trace back into one’s childhood … usually no more than yesterday afternoon at the most. (‘Feeling good’ is an unambiguous term … if anyone wants to argue about what feeling good means … then do not even bother trying to do this at all.)

This perpetual enjoyment and appreciation is facilitated by feeling as happy and as harmless as is humanly possible. And this (affective) felicity/ innocuity is potently enabled via minimisation of both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ feelings. An affective awareness is the key to maximising felicity and innocuity over all those alternate feelings inasmuch the slightest diminishment of enjoyment and appreciation automatically activates attentiveness.

Attentiveness to the cause of diminished enjoyment and appreciation restores felicity and innocuity. The habituation of actualistic awareness and attentiveness requires a persistent initialisation; persistent initialisation segues into a wordless approach, a non-verbal attitude towards life. It delivers the goods just here, right now, and not off into some indeterminate future. Plus the successes are repeatable – virtually on demand – and thus satisfy the ‘scientific method’.

So, ‘I’ asked myself, each moment again: ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive’?

As one knows from the pure consciousness experiences (PCE’s), which are moments of perfection everybody has at some stage in their life, that it is possible to experience this moment in time and this place in space as perfection personified, ‘I’ set the minimum standard of experience for myself: feeling good. If ‘I’ am not feeling good then ‘I’ have something to look at to find out why. What has happened, between the last time ‘I’ felt good and now? When did ‘I’ feel good last? Five minutes ago? Five hours ago? What happened to end those felicitous feelings? Ahh ... yes: ‘He said that and I ...’. Or: ‘She didn’t do this and I ...’. Or: ‘What I wanted was ...’. Or: ‘I didn’t do ...’. And so on and so on ... one does not have to trace back into one’s childhood ... usually no more than yesterday afternoon at the most (‘feeling good’ is an unambiguous term – it is a general sense of well-being – and if anyone wants to argue about what feeling good means ... then do not even bother trying to do this at all).

Once the specific moment of ceasing to feel good is pin-pointed, and the silliness of having such an incident as that (no matter what it is) take away one’s enjoyment and appreciation of this only moment of being alive is seen for what it is – usually some habitual reactive response – one is once more feeling good ... but with a pin-pointed cue to watch out for next time so as to not have that trigger off yet another bout of the same-old same-old. This is called nipping it in the bud before it gets out of hand ... with application and diligence and patience and perseverance one soon gets the knack of this and more and more time is spent enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive. And, of course, once one does get the knack of this, one up-levels ‘feeling good’, as a bottom line each moment again, to ‘feeling happy and harmless’ ... and after that to ‘feeling perfect’.

The more one enjoys and appreciates being just here right now – to the point of excellence being the norm – the greater the likelihood of a PCE happening ... a grim and/or glum person has no chance whatsoever of allowing the magical event, which indubitably shows where everyone has being going awry, to occur. Plus any analysing and/or psychologising and/or philosophising whilst one is in the grip of debilitating feelings usually does not achieve much (other than spiralling around and around in varying degrees of despair and despondency or whatever) anyway.

The wide and wondrous path to an actual freedom from the human condition is marked by enjoyment and appreciation – the sheer delight of being as happy and harmless as is humanly possible whilst remaining a ‘self’ – and the slightest diminishment of such felicity/ innocuity is a warning signal (a flashing red light as it were) that one has inadvertently wandered off the way.

One is thus soon back on track ... and all because of everyday events.

(...) There is only one person in this whole wide world that one can change ... myself. This is the most important point to understand thoroughly, otherwise one endlessly tries to change the other ... and as there are billions of ‘others’ it would be a life-time task with still no success at the end. (more here) Richard’s Articles, This Moment of Being Alive

‘I’ am not alone in this endeavour because ‘I’ can tap into the purity and perfection of the infinitude of this physical universe with a pure intent born out of the PCE that one has during a peak experience. Pure intent is a palpable life-force; an actually occurring stream of benevolence and  benignity that originates in the vast and utter stillness that is the essential character of the universe itself. Once set in motion, it is no longer a matter of choice: it is an irresistible pull. It is the adventure of a lifetime to embark upon a voyage of exploration and discovery; to not only seek but to find. And once found, it is here for the term of one’s natural life ... it is an irreversible mutation in consciousness. Once launched it is impossible to turn back and resume one’s normal life ... one has to be absolutely sure that this is what one truly wants.

One simply needs to look at the physical world and just know that this enormous construct called the universe is not ‘set up’ for us humans to be forever forlorn and feisty in with only scant moments of reprieve. ‘I’ can realise here and now that it is not and can never be some ‘sick cosmic joke’ that humans all have to endure and ‘make the best of’. ‘I’ will feel foolish that ‘I’ have believed for all these years that the ‘wisdom of the real-world’ that ‘I’ have inherited – the world that ‘I’ was born into – is set in stone. This foolish feeling allows ‘me’ to get in touch with ‘my’ dormant naiveté, which is the closest thing one has that resembles actual innocence, and activate it with a naive enthusiasm to undo all the conditioning and brainwashing that ‘I’ have been subject to. When ‘I’ look into myself and at all the people around and see the sorrow and malice in every human being, ‘I’ can not stop. ‘I’ know that ‘I’ have just devoted myself to the task of setting ‘myself’ and ‘humanity’ free ... ‘I’ willingly dedicate my life to this most worthy cause. It is so delicious to devote oneself to something whole-heartedly – the ‘boots and all’ approach!

‘I’ become obsessed with changing ‘myself’ fundamentally, radically, completely and utterly. (more here) Richard’s Articles, This Moment of Being Alive

Being here now is to put your money where your mouth is, as it were. All other actions are methods, devices, techniques ... which are, in effect, delaying tactics. The most sincere form of flattery is not, as is commonly practised, imitating all the other people’s performance of standing back and expressing a feeling. To feel an emotion or be passionate about life is nowhere near the same as actually being here now. In being here now one is completely involved. Being here now is total inclusion. One demonstrates one’s appreciation of life by partaking fully in existence ... by letting this moment live one so that one is doing what is happening. One dedicates oneself to the challenge of being here now as the universe’s experience of itself. When ‘I’ willingly and voluntarily sacrifice ‘myself’ – the psychological or psychic identity residing inside this body – ‘I’ am gladly making ‘my’ most supreme donation, for ‘I’ am what one holds most dear.

It is a welcome release into actuality. I am finally here. I discover that I have always been here ... I have never been anywhere else for there is nowhere else … except into illusion and delusion. The real world had its apparent existence only in ‘my’ passionate and fertile imagination. Only this, the actual world, genuinely exists. This exquisite surprise brings with it ecstatic relief at the moment of mutation … life is perfect after all. But, then again, has one not known this to be so all along? At the moment of freedom there is a clear sense of ‘I have always known this’. Doubt is banished forever ... no more verification is required. All is self-evidently clear and clean and pure and perfect. Everything is indeed well.

It is the greatest gift one can bestow upon oneself and others. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Twenty-Four

I am immensely appreciative of being alive now and not at some other age in which I would have had to struggle for my ‘daily bread’... those dreadful times one reads about in the history books and literary works. It is amazing what has been achieved despite the ‘Human Folly’.

Herein lies the clue to the lack of appreciation. Nothing can satisfy the discontent of a hubristic soul ... and all souls suffer from insolent contemptuousness towards the universe. People resent having to be here; they could be given whatever they demanded and they would still be not satisfied. Nothing, but nothing, can assuage the troubled identity, the psychological or psychic entity that has taken up a parasitical residence within the body of all the peoples inhabiting this planet. This alien entity – sometimes known as the ego and the soul – will spoil any enterprise, sabotage every endeavour and breed discontent and misery throughout its domain. It is the single reason for the ‘Human Condition’, sometimes more sardonically referred to as the ‘Human Folly’. Everyone I meet, every printed word I read, states that ‘you can’t change human nature’ and set about fiddling with the levers and controls in an ultimately useless attempt to ameliorate the human situation within the ‘Human Condition’ ... with less than perfect results.

Any action within ‘humanity’ as it is, is doomed to failure. Unless this fact can be grasped with both hands and taken on board to such an extent that it hits home deeply, nothing will change, radically. There will be changes around the edges; variations upon a familiar theme, but nothing structurally new, nothing even approaching the mutation-like change that is essential for the human race to fully appreciate the fullness and prosperity of being alive on this earth, in this era. To remain ‘human’ is to remain a failure.

It is common-place to blame the politicians, the teachers, the clergy, the parents and so on, for the troubles that beset the community and the citizen alike. It is to no avail to blame the politician, for example, for the antics they get up to, because underneath the politician – under the role and the image – lies a ‘human’ heart. The politician is making the best job of it that he or she can do, considering the burden that they carry ... which is the burden of being ‘human’. They have, like any other ‘human’, an ego and a soul nestled uncomfortably within them. They have an identity, a psychological or psychic entity that exists inside of their bodies. How many times is it heard said that ‘I’m only ‘human’’, or: ‘So I’ve made a mistake, nobody’s perfect’, or: ‘In an ideal world this wouldn’t happen’? These excuses for misdemeanours are readily forthcoming whenever someone’s integrity and probity are questioned. It is generally accepted that all humans have an inherent fault, a ‘dark side’ to their nature.

Consequently: ‘You just have to accept people as they are’. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Twenty-Two

It all has to do with the confidence born out of the solid knowing derived from the PCE that shows one what is possible in living life on this verdant planet. When one observes the enormous bewilderment – both secular and religious – then it is a very earnest thing to ask oneself whether a human being like oneself can actually undergo a radical mutation. When one puts that question to oneself, when one sees one’s own relationship to the whole plight of humankind, then an enormous verve and vivacity transpires. One does not have to do this on one’s own; this very universe one lives in is right with one all the way… and this is a fact that I speak of, born out of my own experience. Surely one does not imagine that it is up to one’s own puny little self to fix up the affairs of the human world? That is to give in before one even begins; that is a sure-fire method to fail yet again and to leave the status-quo as it is. ‘I’ did not do this unaided because ‘I’ could not change anything fundamental of ‘my’ own accord as it was ‘I’ that had to disappear … to become extinct. ‘I’ could not expurgate myself … only the clean and clear and pure perfection of the infinitude of the universe has the necessary resources to manifest the requisite mutation.

To actually see the enormous suffering … the massive confusion and untold misery that there is in the ‘Human Condition’ … places radical accountability upon each and every person to do something now. It is to no avail to hope for some Divine solution for the Sacred has had tens of thousands of years to fix things up … and it has not happened. As being Holy has not worked it is up to oneself to fix oneself up. Be alive – completely alive – as this moment in eternal time and this place in infinite space is happening. It requires a startling audacity to evince what is possible … to dare to live life fully. If I can do it then anyone can. I was not someone special … I had an ordinary birth and upbringing. I went to an ordinary school and took an ordinary job. I went into an ordinary marriage and had an ordinary family. All one gains by waiting for some God to step in is yet more waiting. Is not the evidence of thousands of years of people being on one’s own sufficient to demonstrate that one must do it oneself? Reach out and extend oneself … live like one has never lived before.

Most people are not genuinely concerned with the turmoil and the muddle that the ‘human’ world is in at the moment. They are busying themself with overt things like pollution, conservation, degradation of the environment and so on … which begs the question: What is everyone doing? Fiddling with the superficial levers and controls while a wild-fire is raging unchecked? The actual pollution lies nestled within one’s bosom. Peoples everywhere are not at all deeply concerned with examining the ‘me’ in the ‘human’ heart … instead it is venerated and revered as being the source of all ‘right action’. Yet as this ‘me’ – the psychic entity within – ‘I’ believe that ‘I’ am going to a better place than this after the body dies, so ‘I’ am none at all concerned about what actual degradation to humankind ‘my’ very ‘presence’ causes. It requires a willing naiveté to set about undoing oneself in such a way that ‘my’ extirpation is an assured event. With a cheerful application and a blithe diligence, one can proceed merrily upon one’s way to purity and perfection ... provided one is actually impressed with the need for action. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Thirty-Five

The obsession, the intense attention paid to pure intent, will cause the primacy of the personality to wither away until it becomes insubstantial. At this point, as one endures anxiety and panic at the imminent loss of self, one stands poised on the brink of success. This is a critical period. All of one’s instincts – the instinctive drive for biological survival – will come to the fore, for ‘I’ am confused about ‘my’ presence, linking ‘my’ survival with the body’s physical continuation. Nothing could be further from the truth for ‘I’ play no part in perpetuating physical existence: ‘I’ am not necessary at all. In fact, ‘I’ am a hindrance. With all of ‘my’ beliefs, values, creeds, ethics and other doctrinaire disabilities, ‘I’ am a menace to the body. ‘I’ am ready to die for a cause … and ‘I’ will willingly sacrifice physical existence for a Noble Ideal, thinking it will ensure ‘my’ place in an imagined After-World of Ineffable Bliss. Such are the ways of the real world … I call these carrying-on’s institutionalised insanity!

It requires great fortitude and finesse to fly in the face of the social commandment: to remain a member of society at all costs. There is a pull of loyalties; old allegiances to relatives, friends, colleagues and acquaintances will tug at the heart, pulling one back, urging one to remain where one is. Loyalty, however, is a two-edged sword for it can cut two ways; there is the new allegiance to the purity of the peak experience, pulling one forward relentlessly, for herein lies release … and genuine peace-on-earth. The pull in two directions can be excruciating. On the one side is the sense of belonging, the warmth of relationship and the being acknowledged by the peoples one has always known. There is the loss of all that, with its ensuing grief – and guilt – at leaving them all behind. On the other side there is the knowledge that one will have reached one’s destiny, that one will have that perennial cheerful contentment with life as-it-is subtly buzzing inside one, and that the actuality of peace-on-earth and prosperity for all humankind is now possible. All this one knows, with a crystal-clear certainty, from the perfection of one’s PCE. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Nine

The quality of pure intent is what pulls one forward with impunity … one does not punish oneself or the other for any mistakes that may inadvertently be made along the way. Pure intent transforms into action one’s determination to live a life full of gladness, peace and harmony with oneself and a person of the other gender. It enables one to proceed, without knowing in advance, the ‘how’ of the way in which this will be achieved. What one can anticipate, however, is that one will have to review all the pre-conceived ideas about what makes for a happy and harmless life and a peaceful and harmonious relationship … and be ready to dismiss those that prevent genuine intimacy. Pure intent produces total dedication. It is experienced as an irresistible enticement. It makes it impossible not to do what is required, or to sweep an issue under the carpet, or to let sleeping dogs lie, or to continue to conform to the long-failed dictates of the status-quo. One finds oneself unable to neglect, or fail to care for, oneself or the other ... or for the plants, if they need tending. One cannot ignore their plight. This glorious garden is a clearly visible example of how one can operate with oneself and another. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Four

A fact is apparent, there can be no confusion or argumentation about a fact.

One knows, from the perfection of freedom from ‘human nature’ as evidenced in the PCE, that it is possible to live the actuality that is already always here. What ‘I’ do is unreservedly allow ‘my’ eventual demise to occur. It is not for the faint of heart or the weak of knee ... but pure intent, born out of the connection between one’s inherent naiveté and the perfection of the infinitude of this physical universe, will provide one with the necessary intestinal fortitude. And once embarked upon the wide and wondrous path to an actual freedom, you are not on your own: this perfection is with you all the way ... but if you waver, you are indeed doing it on your own. It is a matter of having the courage of your convictions and letting nothing stand in your way; determination and perseverance are the essential prerequisites to ensure success ... coupled with application and diligence. To sum it all up: having the ‘courage of your convictions’ has nothing to do with believing, trusting, hoping, having faith or building a certitude that it be possible. Personally, I never believed or trusted that it was possible; nor did I have hope or faith or certitude, for such an action of believing, trusting, hoping and having faith and certitude perpetuates the believer, the truster, the hoper and the faithful certifier.

On the contrary, I could no longer believe that it was not possible ... which is a different action entirely. I stopped believing, period. Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Seven