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Peter’s Correspondence on the Actual Freedom List with Correspondent No 8
RESPONDENT: I have just heard about a fence go up between two properties. A fence built by human conditioning, between people who are not able to ‘actually be’ the loving people they want to be or ‘believe’ they are. PETER: Yes indeed, this fence is an imaginary fence with good on one side and evil on the other, or right on one side and wrong on the other, or loving on one side and unloving on the other, and the whole fighting over the fence is fuelled by the animal instinctual passions that are still rampant in human beings. The whole point of actualism is to remove your own beliefs that you need to be on one side of the fence or the other, remove your own morals, ethics and values that causes you to be on one side, feeling superior and riling against others – and finally to quit the whole passion-fuelled grim game of survival. To become free of the Human Condition – and all it entails. It is impossible to ‘actually be’ loving, for love is not actual. RESPONDENT: That’s one of the hard ones (for me), Peter. Throwing love away. That and two other aspects of human existence. The imagination of course, a concern I expressed in my first post to the List and the closing of the book on all other possibilities except actualism. Love, still reveals its actual effects to me in everything that happens in my life, so *if* it is but a shallow insubstantial dual belief and instinctual passion, then I have much investigating left to do, so please be patient with me. PETER: The only reason I dared to challenge the most sacred of all feelings was that I found it did not work, it always came hand-in-glove with its savage dark side and ... I wanted something better. I’ve found it. RESPONDENT: Imagination, still reveals its actual effects to me in everything I do. It is how I make a living as a designer. PETER: I came to realize how limited human imagination is when I began to look at the Human Condition from a wider perspective. Most of what humans treasure as great literature, art, poetry, sacred texts, music, fables and legends has as their basis either malice or sorrow. Most of what we regard as entertainment is based on violence or sadness. The test of greatness of human imaginative stories is the extent that we are stirred to feel vengeful for the aggrieved, pity for the underdog, saddened at loss, moved by hardship, outraged by the offensive, angered at the hard done by, stimulated by violence, distressed by suffering, etc. I also came to see that impassioned human imagination was so meagre and paltry when compared to inventiveness, resourcefulness and ingenuity of the electro-chemical brain that is the human body. One only needs to look out at the stars at night to know that what is actual far, far exceeds human impassioned imagination. And yet when cosmologists contemplate the universe they imagine black holes and dark matter – an escape portal to other worlds or some ‘other-universe’ within this universe. This planet is estimated to have between 2,000,000 and 4,500,00 plant and animal species, offering such a variety as to be mind-boggling when compared with the fantasy alien life-forms from outer space created by human imagination. The insect world has such a plethora of species that it may well be an impossible task to ever categorize them. The oceans provide such an amazing multiplicity of life forms that defy any limits of human imagination. Each day brings a new, fresh and unique combination of weather conditions, each moment animate life is arranging and rearranging itself into a myriad of new forms, and this occurs on a paradisiacal planet that is so huge that it is impossible for a single human being to see all of it in a lifetime. The fact that the astounding actuality of this infinite physical universe is beyond the comprehension of a ‘self’-centred human mind has lead to wonder and amazement which has traditionally lead to feelings of awe and reverence and humility – the seeds of the spiritual ‘Universe and I are One’ delusion. Actuality is far, far bigger than mere feelings or impassioned imagination for it is actual, patently palpable, infinitely varied, observably tangible, manifestly obvious, always apparent, clearly evident, eternally existing and it is happening right here and right now, under our very noses as it were. RESPONDENT: But to me peace on earth and actually being happy and harmless must take precedence in a human life if we are to live life fully and survive successfully as a species. PETER: Yep. 160 million died in wars in the last century, an estimated 40 million committed suicide, not to mention all the murders, rapes, torture, corruption, despair, loneliness, domestic violence, child abuse ... and there is no end in sight. It’s clearly time for intelligence to be freed of its burden of the animal survival instincts so we humans can live in utter peace and harmony, perfection and purity. RESPONDENT: So if extirpation of the whole kit and caboodle, psyche, imagination and instinctual passions, is the only way to bring it about, then so must it be and I have my work cut out for me. But these are early days for this fully programmed necktop computer, so reflecting on the human beings use of imagination, love and whether this tiny mind is really open, occupies every moment of the day at the moment. Each time I consciously experience any of them, I ask myself, are they real expressions of happiness and harmlessness? Can I, can the human race really live a fuller direct experience of life without them? There is a lethargy in the human mind, from what I have observed in my own psyche and those I discuss these things with. A reluctant to concentrate at length and look deeply and ruthlessly at ones mental and emotional behaviour. Perhaps something to do with not wanting to expose the flaws in what Richard calls ‘what we hold most dear’ the self. Open mindedness, standing in an opening of possibilities is also very dear to me. I love the space of it, as I love the vastness of Australia. To accept nothing other than the material facts of actualism is very difficult for this human mind. We are so much our love of stories and dramas and new possibilities. PETER: I used anything I could as a motivation to get off my bum and do something about miserable, confused, second-rate ‘me’. I was charged by the possibility of being able to live as I had experienced in a PCE 24 hrs. a day, every day. To walk upright, free, beholden to no-one and to be pure and perfect in that no instinct-driven entity lay in wait in this body, ever-ready to spoil my happiness and of those around me. This is a possibility that is beyond human imagination, yet is now available for those who are willing to devote their life to the effort. * PETER: It is an instinct-fuelled emotion that only exists in the heads and hearts of human beings. There is no love or hate in a tree, a keyboard, a cloud, a coffee cup. RESPONDENT: And of course when presenting this analogy to any human being, not only those relentlessly inquiring into the human condition, their first response is, but for heaven’s sake! A human being is not a tree, a keyboard, a cloud, a coffee cup! Most of us consider mental activity and emotions as a whole new dimension on earth that we have barely explored. There is so much to investigate, to reflect on, before the human psyche can come to the conclusion that there is no alternative, that its death and extinction is the only way to bring happiness and harmlessness to humanity. PETER: Yep. Human mental activity and emotion has resulted in an estimated 160 million deaths in wars in the last century, over 40 million suicides, not to mention all the murders, rapes, torture, corruption, despair, loneliness, domestic violence, child abuse ... and there is no end in sight. It’s clearly time for intelligence to be freed of its burden of the animal survival instincts so we humans who want to can live in utter peace and harmony, perfection and purity. Only if you want to, of course, for there is no imperative in Actual Freedom. The universe, being infinite and eternal, has all the time in the world. It was only by abandoning any notion of a life after death, or there being a ‘somewhere else’, could I muster sufficient impatience and urgency to overcome my lethargy. RESPONDENT: Sometimes I want to post in as though I am a very average, deeply programmed human being, not one (still programmed) that has studied non-duality and the human condition for many years, because these are the people I deal with every day. People whom I adore to smithereens, never the less. Many of them are weary of my curious mind, as I do not spare them, as I do not wish to be spared from my own ignorance (thank you everyone). I work around the clock with a team of about 80 ever changing beautiful young women working in the rag trade (advertising illustration turned me off too Richard :). Fashion is the field I’ve worked in now for around 15 years, and like Richard, (so I could relate) through thick or thin this mind has remained focussed on finding a way out the human condition, since my early 20’s. These days I’ve stepped up the pace :). I have begun, with every opportunity, to speak with my work mates, about my investigations into human nature. Most of the women I work with model for the rag trade part time. Some are mothers, some are students of psychology, nursing, or working in various other professions as well. Well lately I’ve been watching the response I get when I tell the truth about what I use the net for. Well they asked ;). So I tell them as casually as sharing a cooking recipe, while I am pinning a hen or designing a gown, that I’m learning about the possibility of dispensing with the self in order to bring Peace on Earth. And wow is it interesting to watch how that goes down. Sometimes I wish I were 20 people, because what I have to share often falls on barren ground, and its hard to refrain from firing a thousand questions at them instead, in my insatiable curiosity about just exactly what kind of thinking and instincts are sustaining the imprisonment of mankind. Somehow I know that until I am 100% convinced for myself that the uncoveries Richard made are the indisputable, and only means, there can be no real movement for me out of that same prison. And such will be the case for every average man woman and child. PETER: There are only average human beings on this planet, the only differences being the degree of their passionate indulgences or driven-ness. For those writing on this list the only difference is that some have an intense interest in freedom, peace and happiness and varying degrees of being free of passionate indulgence and driven-ness. Personally I found that my interest in and connection with others who did not have this same interest eventually faded to be replaced by a feeling of being a societal outcast, which was in turn increasingly replaced by a liking for and a consideration of all my fellow human beings. My effort in eliminating malice and sorrow also has the wonderful bonus of sparing others of the burden of ‘me’. And nowadays I get to converse with people from all over the planet, some of who are even interested in my favourite topics – actualism and Actual Freedom. Good Hey.
PETER to No 18: Being free of the belief in an after-life, I am now free to actually be here,
fully acknowledging the fact. <Snip> Having no belief in a past or future life enabled me to tackle the issue of my behaviour, my actions, my
feelings and emotions, my experiences and, of course, my happiness, right now. RESPONDENT: Yes. Of the many uncoveries Richard made, one that has been of tremendous import to me has been that nothing is mine. That this sensate body I had considered as mine, is in fact the universe experiencing itself as a human being, and it brings about many interesting perspectives. Without the claim of my behaviour, actions, feelings and emotions, experiences and, of course, happiness, one is free to tackle them NOW without referring to the past ‘me’. Now I’m beginning to see how my this, my that, has been feeding the beast, the idea of a separate selfish identity. PETER: What I wrote is the opposite of what you are agreeing with – 180 degrees opposite. When I still had spiritual beliefs, I separated myself out from my behaviour, actions, feelings and emotions for I was a goody-two-shoes spiritual seeker. When I met Richard, I stopped pretending that my behaviour, actions, feelings and emotions were not mine. Then I discovered that I was, underneath the sugar-coating, both malicious and sorrowful. It was only by stopping this act of denial of splitting myself in two that I could accept the responsibility of cleaning myself up, so to speak. This splitting oneself in two, or creating a new identity, is what is known as dissociation, epitomized in spiritual belief by such phrases as ‘I am not my body’, ‘I am not my mind’, ‘I am not my feelings’, etc. An actualist does not fall for the trap of merely pretending he or she is a flesh and blood body - adopting yet another identity or belief and thus ignoring or denying his or her unwanted or covered-up behaviour, actions, feelings and emotions. One doesn’t wave a magic wand by changing the name of things or learning a new language – the extinguishing of the instinctual passions that are ‘me’ at my core is the commitment of a life time. As you said above, there are realizations everywhere at the moment about the stark differences between what spiritual people theorize about and how they actually are. What I did was take my ‘self’ on – lock, stock and barrel, the lot, everything - and I will not stop until all of ‘me’ is extinguished, for only then will what is actual become apparent. RESPONDENT: Okay, I’ve had my afternoon walk, pondering this and wondering what the heck I’m doing, when I could be 100% absorbed in breathing in the magnificence of this semi rural area where I live :) and this is what I discovered. First of all, I’m experimenting in virtual reality, with the concept of having no *me*, for that is all I’m capable of at the moment. And a strange oxymoron it is too, using the imagination to imagine what it would be like to have no imagination. In that experiment I have been failing to make a distinction between the actual senses and the instinctual passions. PETER:
When I still had spiritual beliefs, I separated myself out from my behaviour, actions, feelings and emotions for I was a goody-two-shoes spiritual seeker. When I met Richard, I stopped pretending that my behaviour, actions, feelings and emotions were not mine. Then I discovered that I was, underneath the sugar-coating, both malicious and sorrowful. RESPONDENT: Well for me there is not a sense of denying the emotions, but more like a trying to experience what is not possible. As I pondered (on my walk in this glorious Australian winter sunshine) about the possibility of having no me claiming possession of anything, Richard’s comment about Susan Segal came to mind. I too read her book with interest, but not having Richard’s experience I did not see the contradiction in having no self and yet still experiencing the emotion of fear. Now if the extinction of the psyche brings about the annihilation of the emotions in the Amygdala then of course what heck am I doing. It is this sensate body which is not mine, but emotions are me in action. PETER: Just to reiterate –
What more noble deed can one do in life? * PETER: It was only by stopping this act of denial of splitting myself in two that I could accept the responsibility of cleaning myself up, so to speak. This splitting oneself in two, or creating a new identity, is what is known as dissociation, epitomized in spiritual belief by such phrases as ‘I am not my body’, ‘I am not my mind’, ‘I am not my feelings’, etc. RESPONDENT: For me there is not a sinister sense of not wanting to accept responsibility for cleaning myself up, disowning emotions or splitting myself in two, but rather honest misunderstandings (and no doubt there will be more) about how to go about not doing those things. PETER: I was not implying anything sinister. What we are discussing is a radical and diametrically opposite approach to freedom – an actual freedom as opposed to a feeling of freedom, and confusion and misunderstand are bound to be par for the course. I have nothing but admiration for anyone considering taking on actualism or attempting to free themselves of the Human Condition – it is no little task, but one is not alone, for the time is ripe and ‘the wheels are in motion’, so to speak. RESPONDENT: I have been lumping the emotions and instinctual passions together with the actual sensate body as that which does not belong to a me but is this vast and infinite universe experiencing itself as an emotive and mentally visual human being. Whereas, upon reflection, I now remember Richard saying that without the me the instinctual passions, the emotions and mental imagery no longer arise at all. PETER:
* PETER: An actualist does not fall for the trap of merely pretending he or she is a flesh and blood body – adopting yet another identity or belief and thus ignoring or denying his or her unwanted or covered-up behaviour, actions, feelings and emotions. One doesn’t wave a magic wand by changing the name of things or learning a new language – the extinguishing of the instinctual passions that are ‘me’ at my core is the commitment of a life time. RESPONDENT: Yes I do understand what you are saying, but in a way the first step into Actual Freedom is via a form of pretence, an imaginary virtual freedom. And we gather here on this list fully acknowledging our human tendency to fall into yet another senseless belief trap. PETER: One cannot imagine what Actual Freedom is like. The closest we can come to experiencing Actual Freedom, while being normal, is in a PCE where, for a brief period of time, the ‘self’ is temporarily in abeyance and the actual world is directly and sensately experienced in all its fairy-tale like magnificence, purity and perfection. However, what ‘I’ can do is to do the very best ‘I’ can to clean myself up of malice and sorrow such that I am happy and harmless 99% of the time, such that I go to bed at night time able to say I have had a perfect day, and knowing the next day will be perfect. This state of near-perfection, the best one can be while remaining a ‘self’ is called Virtual Freedom – virtual as in almost, more or less, near, effective, in effect, tantamount to, for all practical purposes. Virtual Freedom is not an imaginary state, but is the result of a lot of intense, focused and bloody-minded effort. It is a state where one lives beyond one’s wildest dreams anyway – it is beyond normal human imagination but is easily achievable by anyone willing to make the effort. It is the necessary launching pad for Actual Freedom – the ultimate state where the perfection and purity of this physical universe is actualized as this flesh and blood body. RESPONDENT: I must say though, that from the posts I have read from the members on this list, they too seem just as committed to finding an alternative to spirituality as you are Peter. I would not be here if I was not fully aware of those first bases you speak of above and the futility of continuing to play those games. I think it was extremely important that Richard created a space like this. As place where open, like minded friends can pour out and expose their programming for what it is and assist each other in wiping the drive and re-programming without fear of being ostracized or declared malicious and sorrowful for not being able to take on actualism lock stock and barrel and extirpating the psyche immediately, without considerable thought and investigation. PETER: Firstly I am not finding an alternative to spirituality – I have found the alternative to spirituality which is why I can write with authority both about this new alternative and of the failings of the spiritual path. I know both very well indeed, from an experiential understanding, not an intellectual observation. I can only go by what you write to this list, and while you say you would not be here on this list if you were not fully aware of ‘the futility of continuing to play those (spiritual?) games’, you also post large chunks of wisdom from a channelled dis-embodied imaginary being who presumable resides in a mythical other-world. As such, I take what you post at face value and you appear to be at the stage of being in the spiritual camp, and testing the waters of actualism to see whether you are going to investigate further. You may well also be having glimpses, that to pursue actualism will be the end of No 8, as she is now. I could well be wrong, but this is what happened to me. When I came across Richard I already had considerable motives for wanting to be free of the Human Condition, not the least of which was that I wanted to get rid of malice and sorrow from my life. One of the first steps towards doing this was to acknowledge that I did indeed harbour thoughts/ feelings of anger, irritation, blame, exasperation, frustration, resentment, impatience, antagonism, etc. on one hand and sadness, melancholy, loneliness, unhappiness, discontent, etc. on the other. It’s a bit like Alcoholics Anonymous where the initial step in a cure for alcoholism is to admit you are an alcoholic. It is exactly the same with actualism. The initial step in eliminating the animal instinctual passions is to admit to their existence and to experience them in action in oneself. This is not as easy as it appears for we have been taught to deny them, repress them, control them or, in Eastern religious practice, transcend them. This is exactly the purpose of running the question ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ – to become aware of the beliefs, morals, and ethics that prevent this experiential investigation, so that one is then able to get down to the core instinctual being that is the very source of the instinctual passions. When you say you are feeling as though you are being ostracized or declared malicious or sorrowful – what I did was acknowledge, despite my years of feeling special on the spiritual path, that I was simply an average human being and therefore, deep down, a malicious and sorrowful one. I found this acknowledgement a great blow to my spiritual pride of course, but when combined with the tantalizing lure that I could do something about the situation, I found I could not help but jump in. As for this list, it’s simply the best forum on the planet and an ideal adjunct to and testing ground for the process of eliminating the ‘me’ who is blindly programmed to fight or flee, feel offended or seek revenge, etc. It’s the best thing since sliced bread. * PETER: However, I do draw the line, particularly on this list, as to making any comment on the so-called ‘Wisdom’ of a disembodied entity who has no existence other than in the fertile and passionate imagination of ‘his’ earthly channeller and of those who believe her story. RESPONDENT: Have you read any of the Seth Speaks, Peter? Jane Roberts was examined by a psychologist (I can find his name for you if you wish) who came to the conclusion that the entity he had conversed with spoke in a manner and with an intelligence that far exceeded that of Jane. Jane herself has no idea whether Seth was a figment of her psyche, that for some reason she was unable to consciously bring forward or whether he was what he said he was. But the information is fascinating. Seth is no advocate of irresponsibility; he declares you are absolutely responsible for every minuscule event that ever happens to you. The archives of every word he spoke have been stored at Yale University and physicists are studying his probability theory which you can read about in a book titled Bridging Science and Spirituality. PETER: I’ll pass No 8, although I did put my foot in my mouth in *
Which made me think, even then, that people will believe anything. It just took me a while to admit to the fact that I was as gullible as everyone else. RESPONDENT: You are a cheeky devil, it would be a pleasure to meet you all. There is much I have read with interest, but there has always been an element of doubt. For that same reason I have no intention of taking on actualism until I have thoroughly and sensibly investigated it, just as Richard did. PETER: At the risk of being labelled a pedant, I should point out that Richard did not thoroughly and sensibly investigate actualism for it did not exist prior to his discovering that human beings could live in a totally ‘self’-less state – a state he has named Actual Freedom which is exemplified by a complete absence of instinctual malice and sorrow. What he then did was write a journal describing his discoveries and mapping out a path such that others could follow a direct and simple path to Actual Freedom. He coined the term actualism to describe this path to Actual Freedom – a method of ‘self’ exploration that precipitates a process of ‘self’-immolation. Now that path exists and others are merrily tootling along it and reporting their successes on this list. Daily it becomes even broader, less intimidating, even more wondrous ... and even more tempting for those who are daring enough to follow it. Peace on earth, in this lifetime, is such a grand and glorious prize – it is something that has always been beyond human imagination and yet now it is possible. How utterly extraordinary ... t’is the only game in town to play ...
RESPONDENT: Of all the brilliant schools of thought I have looked into, (Richard’s the most recent among them) and I discovered an astonishing number all replete in their tidy logic, Seth’s had the most profound effect on my life. Here I found no denying or avoiding honest investigation into the human condition either, except that Seth left me with no alternative not even a third one. PETER: The only reason I dared to challenge the most sacred of all feelings (love) was that I found it did not work, it always came hand-in-glove with its savage dark side and ... I wanted something better. I’ve found it. RESPONDENT: Here is Seth’s take on that dark side and how it ‘works’; from ‘The Nature of Personal Reality’ (1974)
Obviously Seth speaks to an era of humanity not yet willing to approach the possibility of the illusion of Self. Nevertheless I found it infinitely more sensible and joyous than religious spirituality. PETER: Do you mean by ‘more ... than religious spirituality’ that Sethism is not a formal religion as such? A bit hard to have a photo of a spirit hanging on your wall or a cross with a spirit nailed to it on the altar. As a kid the Holy Ghost was always a big question mark for me. Religion is defined as –
Methinks Sethism fits the bill and as you said Seth’s your man ... as in most ‘brilliant school of thought’. But seriously, I find it a bit strange that your reply to my comment about my experiences was to post a long piece quoting someone else rather than post your experiences. After all, it was you who recently posted –
Your posting of the wisdom of the spirit called Seth contradicts your implied commitment to find an alternative to spirituality. You also state that you are ‘fully aware of those first bases [I] speak of’, the most significant of which is to question the facticity and validity of your spiritual beliefs. Despite this you post the words of others that you believe to be the truth as your reply to my posts. The problem with this is you post such a quantity that it would take me days to give a detailed reply to each of the articles posted. I recently wrote a detailed critique of a book of wisdom written by a spiritual teacher and simply do not have the interest at the moment in doing the same with the ‘channelled’ wisdom a disembodied spirit, the voice of God. I would much rather write to people about my experiences and hear of their experiences, so we can swap notes as it were. The fascinating human business of being able to safely ‘pour out and expose their programming for what it is and assist each other in wiping the drive and re-programming ...’ You also said in a previous post –
This is exactly the reason this list is here, for as human beings we are all born average – as in typical. Created by the cellular explosion that results from the meeting of a triggering sperm and a fertile egg, born utterly helpless into the world, looked after by others until we can do it ourselves. During this formative period of becoming who we think we are we were drilled as to what behaviour was right and wrong, told how to be and taught how to cope, all to a set of morals, values, ethics and beliefs of those who were here before us and those who were here before them. To dare to challenge this set-in-concrete mind set or programming is daunting to say the least. To dare to challenge it to the point of eliminating it altogether – to wipe the slate clean, so to speak, is to court ostracism and insanity but invite freedom and actuality. In short, provided one is willing to give up the archaic and nonsensical spirit-ual search for ‘Who you really are’, you get to discover what you are – without any tribal or animal identity whatsoever. The Actual Freedom Trust website, and this mailing list, is devoted to assisting those who are eager and willing to undertake this process in themselves. Of course, it ultimately matters not if people become free of this programming or not, or if the human species survives or not. Somewhere, sometime in the infinite and eternal universe another explosion of cells may produce consciousness again, or could well be doing it at this very moment, and thus the universe will marvel at itself in the guise of another animate life-form. The realization of this means that one’s happiness is one’s own responsibility exactly as one is responsible for one’s own malice and sorrow. Good Hey.
PETER: Well, things have moved on since this post to me and in your last post to the list you have made your position very clear – RESPONDENT: Yes, Seth was a red herring, and it was as predictable as tomorrow, that the sharks would start feeding. What else could one expect from cold-blooded creatures with nothing but bodily instincts and the remnants of a rudimentary intellect to guide their ravenous and rapacious appetite for survival. A grizzly sight indeed. Peace on Earth? ... my foot! Richard’s bratty self-righteousness (so ‘cute’ No 12) has made him the laughing stock of the Krishnamurti-list too. He is the only one who doesn’t realize, he is a perfect blithering example, of how actualism fails absolutely, to communicate with and experience actual intimacy with one’s fellow man. PETER: Given that you seem to have ‘spat the dummy’ and disappeared over the hill I did consider not answering this post, but there are others on this list who are genuinely interested in actualism, so I will pen a reply to both of you (No 8 and their pseudonym on List B) anyway. * PETER: I came to realize how limited human imagination is when I began to look at the Human Condition from a wider perspective. Most of what humans treasure as great literature, art, poetry, sacred texts, music, fables and legends has as their basis either malice or sorrow. Most of what we regard as entertainment is based on violence or sadness. The test of greatness of human imaginative stories is the extent that we are stirred to feel vengeful for the aggrieved, pity for the underdog, saddened at loss, moved by hardship, outraged by the offensive, angered at the hard done by, stimulated by violence, distressed by suffering, etc. I also came to see that impassioned human imagination was so meagre and paltry when compared to inventiveness, resourcefulness and ingenuity of the electro-chemical brain that is the human body. One only needs to look out at the stars at night to know that what is actual far, far exceeds human impassioned imagination. And yet when cosmologists contemplate the universe they imagine black holes and dark matter – an escape portal to other worlds or some ‘other-universe’ within this universe. This planet is estimated to have between 2,000,000 and 4,500,00 plant and animal species, offering such a variety as to be mind-boggling when compared with the fantasy alien life-forms from outer space created by human imagination. The insect world has such a plethora of species that it may well be an impossible task to ever categorize them. The oceans provide such an amazing multiplicity of life forms that defy any limits of human imagination. Each day brings a new, fresh and unique combination of weather conditions, each moment animate life is arranging and rearranging itself into a myriad of new forms, and this occurs on a paradisiacal planet that is so huge that it is impossible for a single human being to see all of it in a lifetime. The fact that the astounding actuality of this infinite physical universe is beyond the comprehension of a ‘self’-centred human mind has lead to wonder and amazement which has traditionally lead to feelings of awe and reverence and humility – the seeds of the spiritual ‘the Universe, God and I are One’ delusion. Actuality is far, far bigger than mere feelings or impassioned imagination for it is actual, patently palpable, infinitely varied, observably tangible, manifestly obvious, always apparent, clearly evident, eternally existing and it is happening right here and right now, under our very noses as it were. RESPONDENT: Yes Actuality is too vast for us to consciously follow, but then, from my observations, so too is the imagination. PETER: Given that you have yet to indicate by personal description that you have understood one iota of what actualism is about, this comment is nonsensical. It is doubly so when your version of what is actual is based on the ‘Actuality’ of a bodiless spirit – a spirit that is ethereal, that you cannot touch, feel, smell, touch, talk to, or write an e-mail to and get an answer. ‘He’, as pure spirit, who does not eat, drink, sleep, walk, sweat, bleed, fart, defecate, age or die can know nothing of actuality – that which is palpable, tangible, touchable, visible, sensually and sensately experienced. As you said ... Seth is a red herring! RESPONDENT: For the following reasons I am not yet convinced that the Actual Freedom perspective is such a wide and wondrous path. I do not limit the imagination in the ways you referred to above, e.g. ‘stirred to feel vengeful for the aggrieved, pity for the underdog, saddened at loss, moved by hardship, outraged by the offensive, angered at the hard done by, stimulated by violence, distressed by suffering, etc. etc?’ For me these are but momentary events or reflections and the majority of the day is spent using the creative imagination happily and harmlessly. PETER: For an actualist these ‘momentary events or reflections’ are vitally significant for these bleed-throughs of instinctual passions are opportunities to investigate one’s psyche in action. Some people do reasonably well in coping with, or ignoring these momentary flashes of anger, irritation, or frustration, gloominess, melancholy or despair, but for others these feelings can permeate for days or weeks or flare up into more serious ‘events or reflections’ such as outbreaks of verbal or physical aggression or experiences of overwhelming sadness or despair. These feelings and emotions that directly arise from our instinctual programming are the root cause of all the violence that humans inflict on each other and all the sorrow and despair so evident on the 7 o’clock news. You do well to stick with ‘creative imagination’ for the ‘real’ world of human interaction is a ferocious place. Actualism is only for those who are unwilling, or unable, to turn away to the imaginary spirit-ual world. * PETER: Seth the Red Herring –
Thus spoke a bodiless spirit who is free of the boundaries of being a flesh and blood human being on the planet and soars through the ether of the cosmos ... occasionally sending messages to those spirits still trapped on earth that ‘things are really okay and one day, you too will get to soar with me. Believe in me and one day ... after you die ... you too will get to be a disembodied ethereal spirit’. This fantasy reminds me of that 70’s American television program called Charlie’s Angels. Seth the Red Herring –
Most people never really emerge from their childhood fairy-tale world for if do they are only confronted with grim reality and soon go back ‘inside’. Some people who do escape from the security of childhood fantasy emerge reluctantly into the world only to find grim reality so horrific that they turn to the ‘adult’ dream world of believing in a creator Big-Daddy God or spirit who is looking after things. They practice retreating into an ‘inner’ sanctuary of peace and contentment, they search for the holy grail of becoming God-on-earth and they believe the pie in the sky stories of an ‘other-world’ were their soul goes after the death of their bodies. There is now an alternative to both escapist imagination and grim reality. Seth the Red Herring –
So No 8, you have taken Seth’s ‘vastness of the imagination’ and translated it into ‘Actuality is too vast for us to consciously follow’. Do you have nothing to say that relates to your own personal experience as a human being on this planet? T’would make for far more interesting, and relevant, posts for us mere mortals. RESPONDENT: It is vitally important for me to be sure that the extirpation of the psyche (instinctual passions and the imagination) is not (no offence meant) a cop out. Yep I have been gullible many a time, and it taught me not to underestimate the power of denial. Humans are renowned for their tendency to take the line of least resistance and simply exterminate or suppress what they cannot master. PETER: It is impossible to be totally sure of anything as a human being on this planet, in the world as-it-is, with people as-they are. The set-up on earth is a veritable kaleidoscope of people, things and events, all happening at this very moment on this immense lump of rock that is spinning like a top and hurtling through limitless space. Human life is not without risk – there is the risk of being attacked by human beings and wild animals, there are fast moving cars, plane crashes, lightning strikes, volcanoes erupting, floods, cyclones, etc. And yet, we find ourselves firmly stuck by gravity, in a constant sure cycle of night and day, generally able to not only survive, but to thrive. For many, comfort, safety, leisure and pleasure are the staples of life. Such is the ease and lack of danger for many on the planet that there is an innate tendency, apart from those driven to seek physical danger as a means to artificially evoke the feeling of ‘being alive’, for most to settle for being comfortably numb. But it is impossible to be sure at the start of the journey to become free of the Human Condition what the journey will be like for you. The adventure into one’s own psyche can never be predictable, sure or without risk ... but then again, statistics provide evidence that most people die quietly in their beds, praying that there are going to go to a ‘better world’ and a ‘better next life’. The actual world is simply the best for it is actual, therefore it requires no imagination ... and it is already happening now, and therefore it needs no postponement. We humans all have brief glimpses of the stunning actuality of this paradisiacal planet and yet afterwards we drift back into the grim reality of normal life or into the traditional patterns of fantasy escapism. Some who have these glimpses of unbounded purity and perfection desperately want to claim the experience as ‘my’ experience thereby leading to ‘me’ having grandiose feelings of Love, Unity, Oneness, etc. Provided these experiences remain pure experiences, as in a PCE, it can clearly be seen that human existence on earth is a grim instinctual battle for survival whether fought between family members at the dining table, in relationships in the bedroom, in the boardroom, in the ashram, between humans of different nationalities, between believers of different religions, amongst friends or between enemies. What is on offer in actualism is the chance to step out of both grim reality and the fantasy of a spiritual greater-Reality and into the actual world of sensual delight. What ‘you’ can do is to deliberately, and with forethought, set about a process that phases out ‘you’, the usurper, the fraud, the walk-in ... until ‘you’ disappear! And then you get to live in the actual world, as in a PCE, 24 hrs. a day, everyday.
RESPONDENT: Thanks for your time Peter. There is much I would like to respond to, but my typing speeds are not that good, so I shall have to bumble along. I hope you don’t my snipping our dialog to help me keep track of your latest responses. PETER: I am a two-fingered typist myself so I can relate to bumbling along. * PETER: It was only by stopping this act of denial of splitting myself in two that I could accept the responsibility of cleaning myself up, so to speak. This splitting oneself in two, or creating a new identity, is what is known as dissociation, epitomized in spiritual belief by such phrases as ‘I am not my body’, ‘I am not my mind’, ‘I am not my feelings’, etc. RESPONDENT: For me there is not a sinister sense of not wanting to accept responsibility for cleaning myself up, disowning emotions or splitting myself in two, but rather honest misunderstandings (and no doubt there will be more) about how to go about not doing those things. PETER: I was not implying anything sinister. RESPONDENT: I guess I interpreted your words ... afflicted by instinctual malice and sorrow, needlessly suffering and needlessly inflict suffering on others, act of denial, dissociation and irresponsibility ... as sinister. But that’s okay the sentence says better what I mean without it. PETER: One of the major problems about talking about the Human Condition, that we are all born into and have, through no fault of our own, found ourselves in, is that most people take the discussion as a personal attack or somehow see themselves as different to everybody else. I think this will change as more people are willing to acknowledge their feelings of malice and sorrow, want to be free of them and set about doing something about it. It’s still very early days and, as such, the whole adventure can look very scary and forbidding. * RESPONDENT: I think it was extremely important that Richard created a space like this. As place where open, like minded friends can pour out and expose their programming for what it is and assist each other in wiping the drive and re-programming without fear of being ostracized or declared malicious and sorrowful for not being able to take on actualism lock, stock and barrel and extirpating the psyche immediately, without considerable thought and investigation. PETER: When you say you are feeling as though you are being ostracized or declared malicious or sorrowful ... <snipped> RESPONDENT: In the above I did not say that I myself was feeling ostracized or declared malicious or sorrowful. I shall clarify. I was instead referring to a post written by either yourself or Vineeto, that sounded a little impatient (and I wondered if it made the person feel ostracized, for they no longer post in.) The letter stated that the recipient had been a member of the list for some time and yet had still not got the picture, so therefore they must not to be wanting peace on earth, but were preferring to remain malicious and sorrowful. I tried to find it again in the archives but to no avail. PETER: Then I won’t bother searching for it either but the main thing is that you don’t feel as though you are being ostracized for that feeling could blossom into stronger feelings. It then becomes even more difficult to see the trees for one’s own smoke, to twist a metaphor. It is also useful that you do not feel as though you have been declared malicious or sorrowful for the only way to begin to be free from malice and sorrow is to see and acknowledge malice and sorrow in oneself, by oneself, and for oneself. It is not something that anyone else can point out to anyone else for all humans are programmed with a very effective ‘self’-defence mechanism called the survival instincts, which automatically kick in whenever ‘I’ feel attacked. Thus ‘I’ become defensive and am wont to lash out at ‘my’ attacker and away it goes again. * PETER: <snipped>... what I did was acknowledge, despite my years of feeling special on the spiritual path, that I was simply an average human being and therefore, deep down, a malicious and sorrowful one. RESPONDENT: So far I have yet to find a predominantly malicious and sorrowful core in ‘me’. Happiness and harmlessness prevail, but during my daily experiences I am fully alert and on the lookout for the possibility that I may have a belief system hiding it, or that I could adopt a belief system that creates it. PETER: For many people malice and sorrow is not predominant in their lives – they tend to cope reasonably well using whatever devices or methods they can. It’s just that when ‘push comes to shove’ there is ample evidence that the savage instinctual passions always take precedence over the tender ones, over-riding any instilled morals, ethics and values that usually operate as a check system. If you haven’t experienced this ‘being completely overwhelmed by passion’ in your life then this radical solution may well not be for you, i.e. if you don’t suffer from the symptoms ... why take the cure? * RESPONDENT: There is much I have read with interest, but there has always been an element of doubt. For that same reason I have no intention of taking on actualism until I have thoroughly and sensibly investigated it, just as Richard did. PETER: At the risk of being labelled a pedant, I should point out that Richard did not thoroughly and sensibly investigate actualism for it did not exist prior to his discovering that human beings could live in a totally ‘self’-less state – a state he has named Actual Freedom which is exemplified by a complete absence of instinctual malice and sorrow. RESPONDENT: ... may I take the same risk? and point out that I was not referring to Richard ‘thoroughly and sensibly investigating’ a book on actualism. But to the many years it took to ‘thoroughly and sensibly investigate’ the folly of enlightenment which ultimated in the termination of the self that had been standing in the way of the purity and perfection that had always been here. PETER: Speaking personally, once I had established a prima facie case that what was on offer was interesting, I jumped in to test out the method of investigating my feelings and emotions. The ‘thoroughly and sensibly investigating’ bit was an inner investigation of how I worked and operated, not about what was on offer. If I had made a careful, rational decision back then I would never have started. This is why I say actualism is not a dispassionate affair. * PETER: What he then did was write a journal describing his discoveries and mapping out a path such that others could follow a direct and simple path to Actual Freedom. He coined the term actualism to describe this path to Actual Freedom – a method of ‘self’ exploration that precipitates a process of ‘self ‘-immolation. Now that path exists and others are merrily tootling along it and reporting their successes on this list. Daily it becomes even broader, less intimidating, even more wondrous ... and even more tempting for those who are daring enough to follow it. RESPONDENT: Yes Peter dear :) I did gather, that Richard ‘discovered that human beings could live in a totally ‘self’-less state’, and that the writing of a journal followed. PETER: As I said, I did respond at the risk of being labelled a pedant. I see you have since moved on to become your other internet persona on another list, so most of what is written here may be mere cyber-mist. But it may be of interest to others and I have tidied up my in-tray ... which is always satisfying.
PETER: I take it from
RESPONDENT to Richard: :-) I bet Peter and Vineeto recognised your alexithymic behaviour in Adam very well indeed. That’s because that’s what he has, and so do you. PETER: Your bet is wrong. As it so happens I have just posted something to No 12 which is of relevance to your arrow in the dark. I post it again because lurkers seem to have an aversion to reading –
I also find it curious that your good friend No 12 has spent a good deal of time with Richard and was so un-threatened by his condition that he afterwards relentlessly demanded even more of his time. And despite his avowed cult-busting, he then repeated the request yet again in November last year. He has obviously missed something in his direct personal observation that you seem to have picked up via whatever medium it is that you pick things up by. ’Tis a pity you don’t bother to read what it is you are riling against – it would do wonders for the quality of your rile ... and the accuracy of your arrows.
RESPONDENT: And unlike you I also read – WITH BOTH EYES – that from No 22’s description Adam was born with his condition and unlike Richard will never have any knowledge of malice and sorrow let alone freedom from any imagined choicelessly violent human condition. Adam’s pathological condition will never be glossed over with a saviour complex after 40 odd years of carefully cultivating a conniving ego that advocates much more than just mere subscription to a mailing list and an unlikely tale that alexithymia has made him *special* (1 in a 6 billion!). PETER: Maybe the capital letters in both your eyes blinded you to the fact that that No 22 did not mention alexithymia at all in his description – [Respondent No 22]: ‘To our surprise ... young Adam actually beat us to our car ... in a skipping gallop which we came to learn ... was part of the behaviour commonly diagnosed as Attention Deficient Disorder. (...) Adam was examined by a myriad of medical doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists (...) He became a case study at the local office of mental health. Eventually he was diagnosed with Foetal Alcohol Syndrome, though the diagnosing clinic admitted his behaviour was not typical of the condition and that the diagnosis was offered based of his mother’s admittance of using drugs and alcohol while pregnant with Adam.’ [endquote]. It was you who have blindly cottoned on to God’s omnipotence declaration – [Respondent No 22]: Adam is the benchmark to which all claims of being ‘emotionless’ can be measured. [endquote]. in order to try and thicken the plot so as to fashion a credible slur out of it for yourself. In media terms it is called ‘trying to beat up a story for all it’s worth’. Not only did you not bother to read the nature of the diagnoses that No 22 offered to substantiated His own prognosis, but you then posted some information on alexithymia, which one can only assume was posted in a vain attempt to give some credibility to your intuitive re-diagnosis, that makes no mention at all of either Attention Deficit Disorder or Foetal Alcohol Syndrome being associated with alexithymia at all. It’s clearly a pity to let a few facts stand in the way of the opportunity for a good rile. * RESPONDENT: You’re worshipping a salt doll Peter and for what? To be glorified in its phoney wake? Whilst the wool has been pulled over your gullible eyes the egotistical Self has snuck up once again. And if you think insensitive smart-ass comments about a case of profound alexithymia is something to CHEER about??? Then my point is made... PETER: And yet it was you who have chosen to take up God’s innuendo, it is you who declared the condition to be a case of ‘profound alexithymia’ and it was you who then offered the following comments the list – [Respondent]: :-) I bet Peter and Vineeto recognised your alexithymic behaviour in Adam very well indeed. That’s because that’s what he has, and so do you. No it’s not ‘1 in 6 billion’ and no, you’re nothing special. Just another puffed up brain damaged wannabe guru. 26.06.2001 And one more from the same post – [Respondent]: One day some unstable youth (like Adam) who doesn’t give a damn about whether or not you are hiding evidence of brain damage might really believe your illness *is* a Third Alternative and turn it into the next Third Reich! and start knocking off emoters! 26.06.2001 If this is an example of your sensitivity, I await with baited breath your insensitive comments. And not only that, after some 3 years of hawkish lurking, the best you can come up with as a follow through is a list of Richard comments made in response to intractable protestors, affronted spiritualists and belligerent rabble rousers, all of whom chose to write to him insisting that they were right and he was wrong. As such, these snippets make no sense whatsoever given that the nature, tone and quality of the correspondent’s comments has been completely omitted. If you had read or understood anything of substance about actualism you would know by now that it is not about pacifism and if you had read and understood anything about history you would know that there are none more angry than those who feel their precious beliefs are being challenged by facts. Mr. Galileo was forced by an angry church to recant his experimental proof that the earth orbits the sun – a fact that contradicted the ages old belief that the sun orbited the earth – a belief held to be sacrosanct solely because it was part of ancient religious dogma. Yes, your ‘point is made’, and very clearly so – you have taken God’s omnipotent prognosis and then deliberately and blindly run with it solely in order to get in yet another one of your baseless riles. Might I suggest that if your latest rile is an example of an avowed agent provocateur’s reading with ‘BOTH EYES OPEN’ then you may well be wearing your black balaclava back to front. By the way, is being an avowed agent provocateur
PETER: Re: No 8 being unaware about affections ...
PETER: Hi No 8/male/female,
Now that No 12 has spilled the beans and declared that his game was merely satire, perhaps you might like to answer my question before blithely continuing on – hoping the serve you so relished dealing to this list will be forgotten, swept under the carpet or lost in the blather of your continuing bluster? I know agent provocateurs never answer questions for fear of divulging their secrets, but for the sake of your credibility on this list – so as not to be seen as hypocritical – I ask you to declare your hand. The question is –
In poker it is known as calling your bluff ...
PETER:
Now that No 12 has spilled the beans and declared that his game was merely satire, perhaps you might like to answer my question before blithely continuing on – hoping the serve you so relished dealing to this list will be forgotten, swept under the carpet or lost in the blather of your continuing bluster? I know agent provocateurs never answer questions for fear of divulging their secrets, but for the sake of your credibility on this list – so as not to be seen as hypocritical – I ask you to declare your hand. The question is –
In poker it is known as calling your bluff ... RESPONDENT: What a load of projected bullshit. Everything you say below is your own behaviour, your own scurrying for cover when myself, No 22 and No 12 have questioned you! So why should I cough up when you’re not willing to reciprocate! When you can finish the dialog that you so pettily (and with the usual lack of thought) entitled ‘No 22’s 17 words’, and answer the pertinent questions he put to you before you whimped out feigning computer problems (though you had access to two others) and then returned with some asinine excuse that you couldn’t continue what had degenerated in a tit for tat – a behaviour which BTW you were the only one contributing to – then and only then will I gladly answer any question you wish. PETER: No 22’s pertinent questions? No 22 came to this list under the pretence of studying actualism
knowing full well that this is a non-spiritual mailing list. Having previously read his long discourses to Richard, I was upfront when I entered into conversation with No 22 –
No 22 couldn’t even get past the second sentence as he had great trouble with the notion of being born.
I simply lost interest in his omnipotent metaphysics, his solipsistic viewpoint and his Grübelsucht behaviour, not to mention the quality of his supposed questions about actualism. –
Does this sound like someone who is interested in studying actualism? Then when I tried to introduce the subject of becoming free of malice and sorrow, he responded in classic dissociative terms –
When I tried to talk about God-men –
And then some of the dismissals –
And then, after I stopped writing to him, he posted the following to the list –
Goodness knows who he thought he was talking to but then again, being a solipsist, he obviously had been talking to a some-thing of his own creation. No wonder he had ‘nothing but calm and rational dialogue’, as you put it – he was talking to none other than Him-self. But he does seem to be miffed about actualists – why else would God waste good creating time by bothering to sign on to the non-spiritual actualist mailing list to strut his Godship and heap scorn on actualists? By the way, the posts are available RESPONDENT: P.S I see you are finding the truth about yourself painful indeed Peter? PETER: Aye, No 8. If you want to find out how painful it was finding out the truth about myself you only have to read my journal. All of the pain came from trying to hang on to my favourite beliefs and truths in the face of facts and sensibility. Hanging on to what doesn’t work is what causes pain, giving up what doesn’t work is what brings relief, discovering what does work is what delivers freedom. Once started on the path to freedom from malice and sorrow, the adventure of self-discovery and the successes it bought propelled me along quite nicely to the point where I now take no offence at what you provocatively write – no matter how many exclamation marks you use, how many capital letters, how many fantasies, innuendoes, allusions, insinuations, accusations, or how much blatant abuse. I was, at some stage, a little bemused as to what purpose there was in you riling against your own inventions but I couldn’t come up with an answer in my own experience, so I gave up. One of the first things I took on board in actualism was that it was impossible to eliminate my own malice and sorrow unless I stopped blaming other people for causing me to feel angry, pissed off, sad, lonely, frustrated, resentful, etc. Once I did this it became very clear that it was ‘I’ who was feeling angry, pissed off, sad, lonely, frustrated, resentful, etc. Once I acknowledged that ‘I’ was stopping me from being happy and harmless and no-one else, I began to see others as fellow human beings and not as friends to be leant on and clung to, or enemies to blamed and battled with. Becoming free of malice and sorrow is a relief from an immense burden that I had no part at all in creating in the first place – and therefore ‘I’ need not feel guilty for having malice and sorrow, it is part and parcel of the human condition. But a way has now been pioneered to become free of the human condition, to become free of malice and sorrow ... and it is this that you are busily ‘busting’ with relish. RESPONDENT: Your retaliatory cross posting weapon is still out – albeit missing its mark :-) Sorry to disappoint you but No 12 and No 22 giggle at your every attempt, since they have long been well aware of my alias. I notified them privately the moment we began corresponding on this list. But if imagining you are inflicting a violation takes a little weight off your self inflicted sorrow, then go ahead if it makes you feel even, be malicious, have fun, stoop as low as you like :-))))) PETER: Inflicting a violation? Do provocateurs maintain their own code of ethics that they then insist those being provoked should abide by? And not only abide by, but then if they fail to comply, stood in some imaginary dock and be charged with inflicting a violation? Has it not yet dawned on you after all this time of fabricating accusations, concocting hypocrisies and hurling abuse that Richard just may be the genuine article? That maybe he doesn’t take offence, feel resentful, get annoyed, suffer from disappointment, become sad, have delusions of grandeur or suffer from an inferiority complex? That maybe your verbal arrows strike no target whatsoever, have no effect whatsoever? That maybe he is what he says he is, neither malicious in any way nor sorrowful in any way? I remember someone asking me about 3 years ago what I was in to now and I said ‘getting rid of my malice and my sorrow’. She thought about it a bit and then replied ‘but I like getting angry and sticking up for myself and my rights’. She then said she liked feeling sad, it had a bitter-sweet feeling to it. Actualism will clearly not be everyone’s cup of tea, particularly so in the pioneering days.
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