17.2.2001

PETER: Hi,

What a surprise to hear from you.

RESPONDENT: Peter I thank you and Vineeto for ‘Freedom’ a journal I greatly enjoyed. Having crossed paths with you since I was a child and being exposed to various teachers and masters I found what you wrote has altered many things in my life the result of which is a greater enjoyment of it.

PETER: ... And to think that I wrote the journal essentially for my peer group – your parents’ generation. I naively thought that those with whom I trod the spiritual path would have been vitally interested in something new, but the 30 or so copies I passed out produced only a deafening silence, as they say. I did get a few traitor/ungrateful type comments but by-and-large my generation has settled down to a church-on-Sunday approach to spirituality or they are making their living selling spirituality to others... or they have gone back to being comfortably numb in the ‘real’ world.

After this lack of response I did wonder whether my generation was past its use-by-date in terms of being able to get off their contented bums and do something practical about contributing to peace on earth. I then mused for a while on the possibility of the ‘younger’ generation being interested in actualism but I did see that they could be lacking in one aspect – sufficient life experience as to what didn’t work in bringing peace and happiness in their lives.

The high point of my discontent and disillusionment with the ‘real’ world came at about the age of 30 and then I went for the only alternative available at the time – the spiritual path, or more accurately, old time Eastern religion. What I came to, in thinking about it, was that if a third alternative had been available at that stage in my life, I would have had the good sense – and the sense of adventure – to have chosen for peace on earth rather than merely following the herd down the olde spiritual path.

And what happens – some 20 years later, someone of the ‘younger’ generation, with a life experience you could already write a book about, writes to me on The Actual Freedom Trust Mailing List saying that she has already benefited from trying the third alternative to staying normal or becoming spiritual.

As Alan would say – ain’t life grand!

So, I will be keenly interested to see what you make of the writings on the web-site ... and the discussions on this mailing list.

RESPONDENT: I have the sense that this virtual reality and all that goes along with it are sure to test some of our closest ideals, well mine at least. To think that the letter of olde, as confidential as they were and the rarity of them, can so boldly be changed.

PETER: One of the ideals I refused to forsake to cynicism was that of peace on earth. Another was the ideal of being able to live with a woman in utter peace and harmony. I also refused to exchange my deep-seated ideal and yearning for a genuine freedom and autonomy for the utter selfishness of becoming a God-man or the crippling servitude of bowing down to a God or God-man. Actualism is about turning sensible ideals into practice in the market place, not abandoning them to cynicism and selfish pursuits. The simplest way of seeing this is to see idealism as naiveté – if you can abandon ‘real’ world cynicism and spiritual world gullibility and crank up your naiveté it will stand you in good stead in the process of actualism.

In a similar manner, I did not suppress my tender passions but rather utilized them to turn my ideals into practice – compassion for others when stripped of sorrow and pity revealed a genuine caring and concern, desire when stripped of avarice and greed revealed an altruistic urge to achieve the very best possible, and the base passion of fear, when stripped of debilitating doubt, revealed a thrill of adventure that served to spur me on.

Actualism is not about suppressing feelings – actualism is initially about eliminating the debilitating excesses of malice and sorrow, such that the felicitous feelings can come to the surface. This will then enable you to dig deeper into the very core of both your social and instinctual identity with safety and confidence – while still maintaining the naiveté and intent to always put one foot in front of the other on the path to Actual Freedom.

RESPONDENT: My continuing attempts at communicating with past friends and new www.users is a challenge which I liken to the question about what hits the ground first, the brick or the feathers? Only my feathers seem to be dispersed by the gentle breeze that occasions such heights.

PETER: As you will come to realize, if you already haven’t, there are no Gurus or disciples, teachers or teachings, dogmas or mantras, Sanghas or ashrams in actualism. This list is not a mutual-admiration society, a cosy club of conformists, a forum for disgruntled spiritualists.

This mailing list operates under the unabashedly naive banner of ending human malice and sorrow – to bring to an end all the wars, rapes, murders, domestic violence, child abuse, torture, corruption, selfishness, anguish, despair, depression and suicide that epitomize the human condition.

There is no other website that so devastatingly exposes the human condition for what it is – a horrendous and senseless instinctual ‘self’-centred battle for the survival. There is no other mailing list as challenging as this, for what is being discussed is how to become actually free from the human condition – deliberately and with forethought setting in motion a process that can lead to the extinction of one’s social and instinctual identity – both ego and soul.

Of course you don’t have to go all the way, for, as you have already indicated, even a little bit of awareness, common sense and down-to-earthiness can bring many benefits in normal life. Your interest and your tempo is entirely up to you in actualism. If you want to take it on 100%, or just dabble a bit, is up to you and if you want to slow down or even stop at any stage, you can.

*

Only if you want to, I would be interested to hear some examples of ‘many things (altered) in my life the result of which is a greater enjoyment of it.’ I like to hear of what other people are making out of what is on offer, what changes have happened in their lives, what success they are having in being more happy and vital and less angry and blameful of others.

You may also find it very useful as a new-comer to the list to do a bit of background reading on the Actual Freedom Trust website so as to suss things out, broaden your knowledge and get your feet on the ground a bit. Vineeto has created a library by topics (here), which will be useful if some particular issue is currently of interest to you in your life and I have penned a glossary which will be useful in understanding the meanings of words and terms frequently used in the actualism writings.

Good to hear from you ... and thanks for the feedback.

26.2.2001

RESPONDENT: Thank you for your reply, I have reached the correct site. Good to hear from you too.

PETER: Before I took on actualism I too held on tightly to what I perceived to be the truth of my life until I began to discover I had been sold a dummy. ‘My’ beliefs were beliefs, totally unfounded in fact, i.e. ‘I’ lived in la la land, my ethics were unliveable, i.e. ‘I’ was a wanker, my morals were subjective and very flexible, i.e. ‘I’ was a hypocrite and my values were imbibed from others, i.e. ‘I’ was a fraud. Having largely got rid of this person who made my life and others around him a constant emotional turmoil, I now find that I can disagree with others who dearly cling to their beliefs, ethics, morals and values, without being emotionally affected myself. The only way that this is possible is for me to be free of malice and sorrow – to have no axe to grind, no truth to maintain, no belief to defend – in short to have no ‘me’ to take offence or be offensive.

Richard asked himself – ‘can I emotionally accept that which is intellectually unacceptable?’ If you pursue such a question ruthlessly you will eventually discover that the only solution is to eliminate the passionate being inside ‘who’ endlessly has to practice tolerance in order to reconcile the vehemently conflicting views of others, ‘who’ endlessly needs to crank up love to rise above deep-seated resentment and hatred, ‘who’ has to continuously be good in order to rise above the perceived evil of others.

Being a social and instinctual being is ultimately a wearying and stressful business and even the blessed-out God-men look forward to physical death as an ultimate relief from the effort of being a Being.

What is on offer on this list is an end of being.

*

PETER: After this lack of response I did wonder whether my generation was past its use-by-date in terms of being able to get off their contented bums and do something practical about contributing to peace on earth. I then mused for a while on the possibility of the ‘younger’ generation being interested in actualism, but I did see that they could be lacking in one aspect – sufficient life experience as to what didn’t work in bringing peace and happiness in their lives.

RESPONDENT: I have found that many people of my parents’ generation think they have reached a level of experience that those of a younger generation have no right to comment on. This group feel they know enough to judge, they begin to use a language that only helps to alienate those who don’t use the deemed appropriate language. (I note that this is the same through all of life’s levels, etc. etc. ... but I refer to those on a recognised path to somewhere, on a spiritual level.)

PETER: One of the few pieces of advice my father passed on to me was ‘be happy’ although he didn’t say how this was possible. When my son died I realized with a shock that I was my father’s age when he passed on this advice to me and I also didn’t know how to be happy, despite my years on the spiritual path. It was this realization that gave fuel to my search for freedom, peace and happiness – that it was now up to me to devote my life to breaking this chronic cycle of not knowing or not caring. I wanted to find the answer – and I knew in that moment I wasn’t interested in a life-after-death answer, the traditional cop-out of ‘we are all really spirits, just passing through a stage of essential suffering on earth’.

As for jargon – if you have an aversion to it you may find it difficult to understand what actualism is about. The only way to understand actualism is by reading and attempting to understand what is being said. Like all new enterprises it does have its own jargon – oft used phrases, particular ways of explaining things, specific use of words, etc. I wrote a Glossary that addresses this initial difficulty and it aims to define many of the common terms used in the Actual Freedom writings ... you might find it useful.

Personally, I find understanding the jargon used is an essential first step in understanding anything new.

RESPONDENT: The younger generation continue to be suppressed. Those ‘crazy weird’ things they do to try and find their own identities.

PETER: It might well be useful to consider that this feeling has been on-going with every younger generation since time immemorial. When I discovered I had been sold a dummy, one of the first things I did was stop blaming those who supposedly sold it to me and got on with the job of spitting it out ... and getting rid of all the lingering taste. There are currently 6 billion people on the planet and to continue to blame others for your unhappiness, your non-freedom and your non-peace only means yet another life-time spent wasted in blame, anger and resentment. This is no big deal since this is always the way it has been, but it does matter to you if it is your life you are wasting.

RESPONDENT: If I speak from personal experience, those who appear to be ‘lost’, ie. the youth on drugs, street kids or those who leave home young have most likely had a ‘peak experience’ only they have no information on how to take this experience further. Hence a path that seems to take them away from that experience. I have found that ‘freedom’ does answer questions, mine, but how this now integrates into personal relationships and questions others have this forum may reveal.

PETER: I was shocked when I found that the famed spiritual path was nothing other than olde time religion, albeit the Eastern version and not the Western version I was born into as a culture. The same old rotten stuff, couched in heart-wrenching terminology, deliberately designed to appeal to and ensnare the fiery passion of the young, as well as the world-weary cynicism of the old.

Meeting Richard rekindled my naiveté and provided a down-to-earth explanation to my pure consciousness experiences that was sufficiently compelling to set me off seeking the experience as a 24 hrs. a day on-going experience.

*

PETER: One of the ideals I refused to forsake to cynicism was that of peace on earth. Another was the ideal of being able to live with a woman in utter peace and harmony. I also refused to exchange my deep-seated ideal and yearning for a genuine freedom and autonomy for the utter selfishness of becoming a God-man or the crippling servitude of bowing down to a God or God-man. actualism is about turning sensible ideals into practice in the market place, not abandoning them to cynicism and selfish pursuits. The simplest way of seeing this is to see idealism as naiveté – if you can abandon ‘real’ world cynicism and spiritual world gullibility and crank up your naiveté it will stand you in good stead in the process of actualism.

In a similar manner, I did not suppress my tender passions but rather utilized them to turn my ideals into practice – compassion for others when stripped of sorrow and pity revealed a genuine caring and concern, desire when stripped of avarice and greed revealed an altruistic urge to achieve the very best possible, and the base passion of fear, when stripped of debilitating doubt, revealed a thrill of adventure that served to spur me on.

RESPONDENT: Absolutely ... this has been an amazing thing to see, that all IS possible. Fear sounds like it may be a way to stop one from progressing any more, but it becomes the opposite, it can lead one on a journey to a greater and more life-enhancing discovery.

... and it then depends on what you want to do with your ‘life’. Current wisdom has it that life itself is a journey, a sort of meaningless meander between birth and death or a pious preparation for life-after-death. My experience is that I needed a purpose and a goal that was bigger than ‘me’ – an altruistic aim – in order to give the journey meaning and direction, as well as a definable end. Bringing an end to malice and sorrow in this body became my sole ambition – to prove it is possible for there to be an actual, tangible peace on earth between human beings.

*

PETER: I like to hear of what other people are making out of what is on offer, what changes have happened in their lives, what success they are having in being more happy and vital and less angry and blameful of others.

RESPONDENT: There is a large list of reading, so far it seems as though the discussions of some people is retaliatory. But those that aren’t, their comments are in a process of pondering. Some relevant examples will be offered after some more reading.

PETER: Some of what you will find in the correspondence section of the Web-site is retaliatory but, no matter what the tone of the discussions, the important issue is that there is a wealth of material available that falls into the peer review category – questions that explore, challenge, test and confront what is on offer. You will find many of your questions asked and answered in the correspondence of others but sometimes it can useful to chat with others and compare notes about particular issues that are preventing you from being happy and harmless.

Writing on the mailing list is completely optional, not in anyway essential. There are some who read only and do not write at all, there are some who read profusely, some who dip in to the Web-site only occasionally and even some who don’t bother to read at all. There are no shoulds or shouldn’ts in this business.

The only ‘mantra’ on offer is ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ and the only thing you then need to do is dig around and come up with an honest answer ... but even this is entirely up to you.

*

P.S. If you or anyone else reading is interested in having the Web-site on a CD for convenience, it is an option we have considered making available. Just write and let me know. (There is now Actual Freedom-Lite available for download)

23.3.2001

PETER: I mused for a while on the possibility of the ‘younger’ generation being interested in actualism but I did see that they were lacking in one aspect – sufficient life experience as to what didn’t work in bringing peace and happiness in their lives.

RESPONDENT: I have been contemplating this as I look at the situation between myself and my partner. He has never been in contact with ‘alternative’ people. He is from a small town and went from day to day without the thought of another way.

PETER: Although the only experiential confirmation of what is being offered in actualism is for you to have a pure consciousness experience or to have a memory of one you had in the past, this is not an essential prerequisite to begin the process of actualism. Although I did have a memory of a PCE that gave substance and credence to what Richard was describing, I was also greatly attracted by the unremitting common sense and facticity of actualism. I suspect that Gary would also confirm that it is possible to be attracted to actualism without having a PCE but if you are willing to sincerely question your own beliefs then at some point in the process a brief glimpse of the actual world will inevitably occur.

This was certainly the case with Vineeto, when after months of intense investigation into her gender, social and spiritual beliefs, her whole persona briefly collapsed, giving her a substantive PCE that then gave her the confidence to really take on actualism, boots and all. ( description)

We actualists simply tell our stories to indicate what is possible – what lays beyond belief. It is up to you to decide if the facts presented amount to a prima facie case for you to then proceed to question your own beliefs.

When you have undertaken this process earnestly you will then start to get your own glimpses of a ‘self’-less state and the process may then well be unstoppable.

RESPONDENT: I am aware that I have been exposed to things and been confronted with things from a younger age, but in comparison of our two lives our emotions of sadness, sorrow, fear, are the same. As I read and re read parts of yours and Richards’s journals I am able to relate those stories to a time in my own life. I wonder if this is where clarity occurs.

PETER: I remember when I first came across the writings of Eastern spiritualism and was struck by the wisdom of what was said. Eastern Spiritualism points to the fact that grim reality is an illusion – that it is only a layer of despair, sorrow and fear that ‘I’ as a psychological entity impose on the physical world we live in. The problem with Enlightenment, the prized achievement of Eastern spiritualism, is that it doesn’t eliminate this entity – it only does half the job. They merely dissociate from their ‘bad’ psychological identity, or ego, and aggrandize their ‘good’ psychic identity, or soul, resulting in an altered state of consciousness or God-realization.

It took 17 years of hands-on experience in Eastern religion, and meeting an ex-Enlightened whistle blower, to see that what I initially saw as wisdom and truth was nothing but an elaborate fairy tale. What I initially thought and felt was clarity in Eastern spirituality was a half-truth elaborated into the big fantasy of the Truth – it states that grim reality is an illusion of ‘my’ creation but then trips off into a further impassioned illusion of a Greater Reality.

It takes a good deal of courage to abandon the seductive half-truths/big lies of Eastern spirituality, particularly when it empowers such glorious narcissistic feelings as Goodness, Godliness and immortality.

I like the word clarity but it is an extremely rare commodity, for the world is awash with puerile Ancient ‘wisdom’ and impassioned ‘self’-centred beliefs.

RESPONDENT: In wondering about the younger generation, I am only seeing the change in two people, myself and my partner. The difficulty has come in creating the opportunity for him to have an experience and having the courage and patience on my behalf to see it out honestly.

PETER: I can only comment on my experience with Vineeto. I tried for many months to influence her or change her until it dawned on me one day that it was not only a futile exercise but it was a gross intrusion into her life.

When we met my contract with her was that I would look at everything that came up in me that prevented me living with her in peace and harmony – not that she had to change to suit me or that she had to be in to what I was in to. When I realized I was slipping back into my old ways of wanting to change the person I had chosen to live with it came as quite a jolt, but it did mean that I was finally able to focus on the main issue – ‘me’ and ‘my’ moods, ‘my’ anger, ‘my’ resentment, ‘my’ sadness, ‘my’ loneliness, ‘my’ beliefs, ‘my’ values, etc.

Curiously enough, the fact that I actually stopped trying to change her after I had this realization also made her very curious as to what changes were actually possible by practicing actualism. This indicates that the best way for an actualist to help someone is by practical example – by proving that it is possible to eliminate your own malice and sorrow – and then allowing the other person the total freedom to be interested, or not.

Again just a note that I don’t know your personal circumstances and this is not to be taken as a direct comment on your situation. I am only relating my own experiences in what may well be different circumstances, but what is common to all is the Human Condition – notably the human fascination with others’ lives and with trying to change others and the legendary reluctance of human beings to examine their own lives and to change themselves.

RESPONDENT: On a larger scale of younger generation, Society hasn’t the skill or understanding about what actualism is to be able to relate the ideas safely, and the input and contributions from people like your self is rare.

PETER: Extremely rare, as I can still count the contributors on two hands. But the cat is well and truly out of the bag ... and no one can put it back in again.

Good, hey ... for we are talking of the beginning of the end of all the wars, rapes, murders, torture, domestic violence, corruption, suicides, sorrow and despair.

RESPONDENT: My final thought being on how to create the opportunities for any person as we all have enough experience of the sadness, fear and self doubt, we just need to re-access it or find immediate examples from which to learn from.

PETER: By classification, you are ‘any’ person and it does seem that it is you who now have the opportunity. Given you have read the stories of those who are free of, or are becoming free of, malice and sorrow, you may well be attracted to setting an example yourself.

After all, there is no one better qualified – you fit all the necessary criteria.

RESPONDENT: Use of jargon ... I think perhaps what I wrote wasn’t very clear, so I felt to re-say it as part of the previous statement. In speaking to a person without a background in such words and phrases it feels as if the other person is trying to be intimidating.

PETER: Many people not only feel intimidated by the words of actualism but also feel personally offended. This is as it should be because the only value in reading any of the actualism writing is to take what is written personally – to acknowledge by your own feelings that you are afflicted with malice and sorrow and to acknowledge by your own feelings the deep-seated longing for an actual freedom, peace and happiness.

If someone is not initially intimidated by actualism, then they are missing or avoiding the whole point of what is on offer in actualism.

RESPONDENT: Not intentionally but because of a sense of fear one puts up a self-preservation barrier. The language develops as one begins to see things in a different way.

PETER: Actualism, by its very nature, abounds with common sense, pragmatism, practicality, down-to-earthiness and is rooted in observable facts and sensate experience. We actualists do like to call a spade a spade.

RESPONDENT: Over the years I see this has been my way of defence, but now with my partner and friends I see again certain words create an instantaneous shutdown in communication. I watch the occasions of frustration rise as we all try to express things in the only way we know how, possibly all saying the same thing yet our understanding of the words can be very different.

PETER: What passes for normal communication between human beings is really quite lamentable. The use of clichés, psittacisms and hackneyed phrases, most particularly in the spiritual world, means that no-one really says anything clearly and no-one really understands what the other is feeling, thinking or saying.

This is particularly so when people try to communicate to others what they are feeling for we have learnt to be cunning and manipulative, we have learnt to repress or to be selectively emotive. You may well begin to notice that this obscuration is a quite deliberate and mutually agreed way of maintaining a safe distance while creating an illusion of intimacy or connection.

The other observation that you may notice is how much of what passes for communication is really a sharing of mutual sorrow and malice. ‘How bad the weather is’, ‘how hard work is’, ‘what a b... my boss, boyfriend, mother, neighbour, workmate is’, ‘how bad the politicians are’, ‘how evil ... ‘ etc. etc. Once you start observing these traits in others – the easiest part – you are then ready to tackle the business of observing and acknowledging them in yourself and changing yourself – the most challenging, and rewarding, part.

RESPONDENT: I would be interested on your views on obligation. Especially in relation to how to fit in with other people’s desire for me to oblige them. In practicing actualism more and more I ask this question as I oblige less and less to people who ask without gratitude or for reasons that aren’t honest.

PETER: Obligation, duty and responsibility can all be seen as parts of the same package that we imbibe in early childhood and which is subsequently maintained and reinforced by family, peers and society. The physical reliance on the family group you are born into invariably comes with obligation, duty and responsibility and, as one grows and moves out into the world, more and more impositions are made upon you and you, in turn, inevitably make more and more impositions on others.

In teenage years, the onset of the raging hormones of sexual potency can often cause rebelliousness or blind lashing out against these restraints but this eventually wears itself out and yet another good citizen toes the line and dutifully fulfils his or her social and instinctual role within the Human Condition – be it either normal or spiritual. This is the time-honoured life-cycle of the human species – unaltered for an estimated 40,000 years of regenerations of the current genetic model.

I spent years riling against or resenting obligation, duty and responsibility until I discovered that the only way to become free of these shackles was to become perfectly happy and harmless – to become a model citizen, free of any malice or sorrow. Why rile against the conditions in your jail cell or waste your time blaming the warders or fellow inmates when you can step out of the cell? Actualism is not about fitting in with humanity – actualism is about stepping out of humanity.

For me, the key was to stop expecting or demanding that other people behave how I thought they should behave, to stop imposing my moods and whims on others, to stop obliging the whims and moods of others, to stop expecting or demanding of others what I was unwilling or unable to give.

The magic outcome of this process is that one eventually ceases to expect anything of anyone else – then you can never feel let down, disappointed, obligated, grateful or resentful. This cleaning yourself up – eliminating your social and instinctual identity – leads to a delicious and tangible autonomy. You become delightful company, both happy and harmless, free to interact with all of your fellow human beings in a way that is always appropriate, for you are guileless, innocent – childlike but with all the benefits of life experiences and a passion-free benign clarity.

Actualism is not about rebelling against or trying to fit in with Humanity – actualism is about stepping out of Humanity.

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