with Jonathan on List D
JONATHAN: I hope you’re in good health. I’m writing to see if you would be willing to hang out in ballina over coffee and breakfast. It would be my treat. I’m enjoying some positive advances in becoming free and am considering hopping a flight to see if another visit will deliver the goods. And, also, to double check my progress. If this is merely another ASC then it’s best I find out sooner than later.
VINEETO: Hi Jon,
Thank you for your inquiry – I am in good health and excellent.
As for your plan to visit Ballina again, I don’t think you need to bear the expense and dislocation to ‘doublecheck [your] process’ as you are writing some quite informative emails on the Yahoo mailing list.
Here are some excerpts of your very recent posts that indicate a misunderstanding that can easily lead to disassociation or is an expression of disassociation –
One does not need to reject anything in order to ‘embrace’ what is actual. It seems to indicate that what you think ‘you know is actual’ is not part of the actual world. In actualism, when you understand that something you do is silly, it falls away by the simply act of seeing that fact. If you have to reject something in order to enable you ‘embracing what you know is actual’ then you create a dichotomy where one aspect of ‘you’ is in conflict with another aspect of ‘you’. I have talked about this, mainly to Srid, during your visit – there is neither policing nor sacrifice required in actualism – on the contrary, that would be utterly counterproductive. You just see a fact for what is it and the very seeing of this particular fact evaporates the lies and beliefs that had obscured the fact. No rejection at all is required.
Human sorrow is *not* imaginary – it is the very essence of the human soul, of ‘being’ itself. Again, you would have to split one part of ‘yourself’ from the rest of ‘you’ in order to classify it as merely imagination. ‘You’ are your feelings and your feelings are ‘you’ and those feelings only disappear when the identity disappears. Unless you acknowledge that ‘you’ are your feelings, you will always come up with tricky ways to keep one aspect of ‘you’ in existence, disguised as [fill in your own discoveries here], while pretending to yourself to have made advances in becoming free when you have merely rearranged the deckchairs. (Mind you, this is a very common occurrence when one is embarking on the path of leaving one’s ‘self’ behind, so no need to beat yourself up for it. Just remember that ‘I’ am a lost, lonely, frightened and very, very cunning entity programmed to stay in existence at all cost – hence the necessity of being scrupulously honest with oneself).
Now, because ‘I’ am my feelings, the only way to make progress towards an actual freedom is to become affectively aware of how I experience this moment in order to be able to minimise both the good and the bad feelings and to maximize the felicitous/innocuous feelings – hence the emphasis on enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive, no matter what the circumstances. This is the only way to weaken the influence of ‘me’ on the flesh-and-blood body as the good and the bad feelings only make ‘me’ stronger and bigger.
VINEETO: If you are trying to cut off your passions, you are splitting yourself into parts. It’s either repression or dissociation. Then you engender the help of do-gooder feelings (of helping the world) in order to cut off your unwanted feelings. As I said above, it doesn’t work that way. It is not just imagination that is the problem, it is ‘you’ in your entirety that is the problem. Only utter sincerity can cut through the wild array of tricks an identity comes up with.
As for ‘I find it utterly wonderful that I am already here in the actual world’ – ‘you’ are *not* already here in the actual world. This was the point Richard was being firm about at the fish-and-chip shop on your second-last day. You wrote in your report on the Yahoo list that you got angry about it ... but did you actually take notice of the information that Richard was trying to impart to you because it is really, really important to understand this point? All identities have an inner world and an outer world and what you call ‘here in the actual world’ is in fact the identity’s outer world (in your case masquerading as the actual world). Another trick of the inherently cunning identity to avoid being seen for what it is – an impostor, a fake, a fraud.
JONATHAN: I haven’t decided if I want to take the trip or not. I figured I’d check with you to see if you’d be able to accommodate a few mornings or afternoons. Because if you can’t then that would make my decision for me. But I figure I should take some time off work anyways, because, work seems to stir up all the passions and they override Here and Now. At work I’m always back defending the identity and I figure that if a biological adaptation is to occur, a prolonged period of living Here and Now is necessary. So I need to live Here and Now in order to allow the adaptation to occur and since that means taking time away from poker then I may as well fly to Australia. If you aren’t in ballina or can’t spare the time then I’ll probably rent a cabin by the water for a week or two. I’m not exactly sure. I’ll flush it out over the next few days and see what your response brings.
VINEETO: I see from your posts on the mailing list that you have now taken a holiday in order to be more able to ‘experience perfection’ without the interference of work –
First of all, Virtual Freedom is never described as ‘a prolonged period of living Here and Now’. That is you making up stuff from a superficial scanning of the Actual Freedom website. You can check the Library for the terms ‘Here’ and ‘Now’ and you will see what I mean.
Further, Richard said many times, both in writing and to you and Srid in person, that actualism works best in the marketplace, i.e. do *not* retreat from the world of people, things, and events like the spiritual people do. I can understand that taking time off is a nice thing to do and it is even more beneficial if you can find the knack to maintain the holiday-mode when returning to work. All it requires is to pay diligent attention (to how you feel each moment again) in order to catch yourself when the mood wants to change back to the familiar resentful/defensive mode and then you decline to revert back to that non-carefree and non-happy attitude. It is possible and Richard just recently related to me how ‘Richard’, the identity, discovered that it was possible and how pleased ‘he’ was when ‘he’ succeeded.
What’s the point in being a Sunday-actualist?
To sum it up, I don’t see that you would have to spend a considerable sum of money to fly to Australia at this point as this email can easily get you back on track. And, to reiterate what Richard said to you at the fish-and-chip shop by the harbour, you do yourself a great disfavour by not reading the Actual Freedom website more thoroughly.
As for the deliverance of ‘the goods’ you had in mind, that won’t happen until *all of you* is on board.
When you enjoy and appreciate this moment of being alive (in all events and in all situations) and thus increasingly let the universe live your life, then ‘you’ will inevitably become more and more redundant (and thus weakened for lack of ‘self’-nourishment) by the sheer fact that living life becomes easier and more and more enjoyable. When most of your waking time is enjoyable without exception, then ‘you’ have nothing left to do and can fully acquiesce to manumit the flesh-and-blood body from ‘your’ control.
Then the conditions are ripe for magic to happen.
Vineeto’s & Richard’s Text ©The Actual Freedom Trust: 1997-. All Rights Reserved.