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Vineeto’s Correspondence Correspondent No 9
VINEETO: Given that I had no reply from you in regards to posting your mail to the Actual Freedom Trust Mailing list I will send this reply to you privately. RESPONDENT: <snip> I read this:
I read this and I asked myself, what does this mean? It means the idea of this Zeus character was all imagination. The second I realised this, something happened at the base of my skull, something shook, it was like it turned over and I ‘woke up’. I sat up immediately upright and was totally aware of what was going on around me ... I started laughing at the idea of me sending energy to this girl – I must have looked so silly with my arms waving about pretending to conjure up this ball of energy, I was realising the silliness of it all!!!! In that moment everything changed, I wanted to just look at the facts around me, the beauty of the day was unbelievable, I was no longer interested in talking to her because she wasn’t interested in trying any suggestions that we had given her all weekend, and so I thought we might as well enjoy the rest of the day rather than wasting it sitting inside talking to someone who really wasn’t taking things in – I could never have thought that I could have made a decision, or a thought like that, normally I would have been brought up to try with all my blood, sweat and tears to get this person out of their delusion and see how great the world was and avoid suicide, but at this point I was able to see that she was just not interested in practically applying any suggestions and so I didn’t want to waste any more of the day inside, I wanted to go out!!!! I wanted to know what makes a flower smell, I wanted to talk about interesting things, I wanted to know how the Sun functions, all practical things. (…) Since the thing happened in my brain, things have been different but in an odd way. Nothing physical has really changed I can see that. But I find a few things odd, and maybe you can tell me if you had similar experiences – I am also looking into the website. It’s odd, I am not relying on emotions, but it is almost like I expect certain emotions to come up due to past behaviour, but they do not, or if I change my voice, or my body language I immediately wonder why I did that because it in no way helps me. I also find that I am lacking language ... I see that my use of language was not very good before, I was able since I was young to pick up others emotions ... I don’t really do that anymore, in fact if I look at it I don’t read into anything anyone says anymore – before I would misinterpret things through my own thought filters and think they would ‘mean’ something they didn’t really. Now if i don’t understand what someone is saying I ask them to specify – what I also notice while writing this sentence, is that I seem to ask the people who speak in ‘emotional language’ ‘body language’ and so on to clarify their situation a lot more...almost because they make some sort of assumption that I will understand what they say – maybe because I did before. I must say that it is almost like I am learning to operate this body and language system from scratch ... I can say that I do not know how I made decisions before ... there seems no logic applied to decisions I have made in the past ... I seem to have no criteria to evaluate things. I have maybe read about 20 pages of the website so far, the introduction and am now on the précis of the method of actualism. I find this to be very helpful at the moment, it is explaining what is going on to me. VINEETO: I can relate to some of your experiences. I remember when I came across actualism I had to overhaul all of my communication skills as my language was not only spiritually slanted but my communication was very sloppy as I relied on mutual intuition and those ‘you know what I’m talking about’ innuendos that aim to point to common feeling experiences. Sharpening my communication skills in turn helped sharpening my clear-thinking ability and vice versa. For me it was an enormous change – and relief – to discover that facts do exist in their own right. To be able to look for a fact rather than search for the right belief or trot out a trite psittacisms (‘the mechanical repetition of previously received ideas or images, reflecting neither true reasoning nor feeling; repetition of words or phrases parrot-fashion’ Oxford Dictionary) gave me a reliable and independent anchor from which to unravel the mess of my accumulated beliefs. Sometimes this new way of looking for the facts rather than relying on belief and intuition caused strange feelings and sensations in my head as if the pathways in the brain had to shift to accommodate my radical discoveries, however apart from being a fascinating observation, such sensations and feelings have no significance in itself. What has significance is that no matter how modern physics and ancient religions denigrate fact as ‘being of the mind’ or ‘being subjective’, factual evidence is something that everyone can ascertain for themselves. If you are interested in becoming free of the human condition, discovering the facts is a key to discovering actuality and a necessary ingredient to escape from the clutches of one’s own subjective emotion-based reality. RESPONDENT: I am not sure if I am in Virtual Freedom or on the way to VF ... I am still trying to find out the markers and as I say I find that things/behaviours I would normally do are quite odd for me now, and it is like I am shedding the old behaviours/beliefs that are just inappropriate and it is odd, but even odd is an odd word. I am happy with things in the world, I think it is like I am seeing everything in a new light and I just really didn’t know that I functioned this way before. I am questioning everything, and realising that there must be a smarter way to use this brain!!! I see that one of my old behaviour’s was to become sorrowful, and although I am not now, I catch myself with facial postures that are sorrowful, but that are in no way an indication of how I feel. I don’t think I am at AF because I still get stressed – can you get stressed in VF/AF? I don’t actually know if it is stress – it is rather a feeling that my brain is working a lot but it has nowhere to connect to – it is almost pulsating!!! Oh dear :) I am currently going through thinking from a sensible and silly point of view and realigning my thoughts on everything – I don’t know if this makes sense ... if it does can you point me to parts of the website that may be of guidance? I thought it may be interesting to see the effect of your website on me :) I think de-programming may be a good word for what I am doing, I think because whatever happened with my brain happened so quickly and only about 2 weeks ago that I am deprogramming at a fast rate :) I hope you are all well and any thoughts back to me would be welcomed. P.S. Writing this email has definitely helped clarify a lot of my thoughts! VINEETO: ‘Realigning’ and ‘deprogramming’ are certainly good words for
what you describe is happening. Should you continue questioning all of your beliefs and investigating the feelings each time they
stand in the way of you being happy and harmless now
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