Please note that Vineeto’s correspondence below was written by the feeling-being ‘Vineeto’ while ‘she’ lived in a pragmatic (methodological), still-in-control/same-way-of-being Virtual Freedom.

Vineeto’s Correspondence on the Actual Freedom List

Correspondent No 12

Topics covered

Writing about Actual Freedom, idea of freedom, public profile, silence * ad for Tantra workshop, spiritual sex, ‘emotional freedom’, ‘be who you are’ – your instinctual passions * settling for second best, list as bulletin board?, actualism in practice re sex, investigating sexual moral inhibitions, no love, sensual delight * Tantra , Veeresh, Rajneeshism, virtual freedom, ‘unhappiness’, investigating emotions in actualism and in spiritual therapy, ‘actual reality’, his conversation with Richard, Mr. Wolf’s emotional freedom, ‘us’ actualists and others, leaving humanity, naiveté, ‘steam train’ correspondence, ‘Peace on earth vs. God in heaven’ game, power games, categorizing people, psittacism, moral or sensible judgement, peace-on-earth, ‘Actual Intimacy’, great to be here, confronting, sensibly going mad * actualism or Actual Freedom * Dorian Gray, Richard on sensuousness and apperceptiveness * two different worlds * page for 502 awakened ones, AFF, actualism, ‘possibility of discussion’, exploration into ‘self’ to facilitate extinction, allowing to be taken away by utter fullness

 

24.2.1999

Continued from Mailing List C, No 8

RESPONDENT: I always intended to write to you on the actual freedom list. I certainly am a bit slow getting round to it, but I have not dropped the intention.

There is another aspect to my wanting to meet you.

For the last few weeks I have been busy with a creative writing course. Now I begin a six month correspondence course in freelance journalism.

Part of my motivation for meeting you would be to flesh out my experience of you, in order to be able to write an article about Actual Freedom. My intention would be to publish such an article. I imagine an article written from the viewpoint of someone who has been immersed in the spiritual world for some time and discovers that there is now an alternative. The someone is me, the alternative is Actual Freedom. The article would be about a non-spiritual path to freedom.

I am very interested in what you are saying, for myself. I am not just researching from a detached point of view.

I had thought that the article could focus on the man Richard, but, given his expressed desire for privacy, I could just as well focus on The Path to Actual Freedom, and leave him a bit in the background. If he prefers.

VINEETO: It is your perfect freedom to write about whatever you want to write. But since I have no idea what you are going to write and how much of your writing is an interpretation of your understanding of what Actual Freedom might be, I would like to be kept out of it. My hesitation and caution is not just an assumption on my side but taken from the evidence of your earlier writing on the Sannyas mailing list and from your correspondence with Richard. Vis:

Respondent: I love assimilating your Approach? / Wisdom? / Humour? / Concepts? / Nonsense? / Knowledge? into what has previously been assimilated. I love it that I am conscious that that is going on. I am here for that. What you are writing goes into my pot. I stir it all up and what dissolves, dissolves, and what settles into the shit collector at the bottom of the pot settles. It enters my pot because I want to know. I want to know because some things that are in my pot just don’t gel. One of the things that is not quite gelling is my observation that I am not here to learn from you yet I am learning. anyway. Thanks, if that’s the right word. Are you on this list to learn something, Richard? Or?

Respondent: I (unlike you), do not understand enlightenment to be an altered state of consciousness. I understand enlightenment to be the state where nothing is in the way of ‘this infinite and perfect physical universe experiencing itself as a sensate, reflective human being’. Richard, are we just having linguistic issues here?

Respondent: If someone else were to read my words do you think they would be able then to more fully understand yours, or instead, that my words lead away from what you are saying?

Richard: Your words may confirm that their fall-back decision to settle for second-best was correct. Richard, The Actual Freedom Trust Mailing List, No 12

As far as I understand what you were saying up to now, you would like to take some pleasant conceptualized ideas from Actual Freedom and stick them together with what wisdom you have acquired up to now, in short, make a nice hotch-potch. But that is not Actual Freedom.

Actual Freedom, in contrast to imagined or conceptualized freedom, is something that everyone has to do for themselves. It is not just a theory or concept to think or write about, it is a freedom to be discovered, explored and lived. It is getting down and getting dirty, digging into yourself and examining your feelings, your emotions, your beliefs and your instincts. Further, it is digging into your memory and remembering a peak-experience that will give you the experience of the purity and perfection that Actual Freedom is.

Until you have discovered it for yourself, writing about Actual Freedom will be only voicing a belief and a concept, half-baked and at the most, second-best. As long as you see it as a ‘linguistic issue’ between enlightenment and the actuality of living this perfect moment of being alive – how can your description be something other than a linguistic play of words?

RESPONDENT: ... I could just as well focus on The Path to Actual Freedom, ...

Please let me know how willing you are to be involved in this exercise.

Are you, like Richard, concerned to restrict your public profile?

VINEETO: Therefore, and for the comfort of my private life, I don’t want to be involved in any public profile at all. Actual Freedom will spread like a chain letter without anybody’s personal profile, simply by daring pioneers taking up the challenge to discovering and living something new and radical, 180 degrees in the opposite direction of Ancient Wisdom.

When you write about ‘the Path to Actual Freedom’, why not write about your path to freedom? Why not write about your explorations, your scrutiny with old dearly held beliefs, your discovery of the magnificence of living in the actual world?

I have been a journalist when I wrote down my discoveries, and so have Richard and Peter. To repeat these would be plain psittacism and useless intellectual gymnastics. But to write about your own journey into your own psyche is something doubly fascinating, first, to make the discoveries and second, to find the right words to convey them. And it will be new, fresh and original because everyone’s path to freedom is different.

*

VINEETO: Unlike in Sannyas, where I used to meet people for the love, the friendship, the hugs or the psychic ‘energy’, nothing affectionate like that is going to happen. Actual freedom, unlike ‘actual reality’ is not based on feelings, emotions or affections. It will be words, and words, and words – a frank and open discussion between human beings – as is equally possible right now on the net.

RESPONDENT: I assure you I have no expectations that you provide me with psychic energy or affection. I find that these days I can go for quite long periods without such. :-) It will be enough if there is some friendliness between us, some willingness to speak and listen in turn. Frankness and openness is what I am used to.

Upon reflection I do realize I have an aversion to continuous long conversations. I like words to be punctuated by gaps. I like some moments for reflection interspersed with discussion.

VINEETO: Our conversations can be as short or as long as you wish them to be. But I won’t be sitting in silence with you – I’m sure, you didn’t imply that by the ‘gaps’, did you? I have long abandoned that spiritual practice.

*

VINEETO: So if there is something more to talk about like life, the universe and what it is to be a human being, why not start now? Why wait for 4 weeks for having some ‘long conversations’? You can read a lot about my experiences on the wide and wondrous path to freedom and you are welcome to ask any question. And you are very welcome to tell of your discoveries, queries, fears or successes. That’s what we have the mailing list for, to discuss our experiences, to talk about the Human Condition in each of us.

RESPONDENT: I still intend to do that also.

VINEETO: You are very welcome.

7.6.2000

RESPONDENT: This is the Second Edition of the Sexuality and Tantra Update.

  1. Announcement of a Workshop – ‘An Introduction to Humaniversity Therapy – The Art of Emotional Freedom’
  2. Reminder that Margot Anand will be here very soon.

VINEETO: From your advertisement I deduct that you have misunderstood or misinterpreted the purpose of this Actual Freedom Mailing List so far. This mailing list is a non-spiritual mailing list, set up for the purpose of investigating an actual freedom from the Human Condition – the set of beliefs, conditionings and instincts that forms the habitual and neuro-biological program by which human beings currently operate and have done so, with few significant changes, ever since the first recorded civilizations.

‘Emotional Freedom’ is merely a feeling of freedom from certain moral values and social consideration that helps one to live by one’s emotions whereas actual freedom is a palpable, permanent freedom from one’s social identity and one’s instinctual passions, both from ‘who’ one thinks one is and ‘who’ one feels one is.

‘Non-’ in non-spiritual means

‘Latin for not. A negation, a prohibition’ Oxford Dictionary

Whereas the workshop you are advertising offers purely spiritual principles –

[Respondent]: ‘An Introduction to Humaniversity Therapy – The Art of Emotional Freedom’

Since 1978, The Humaniversity in Holland has been showing people how to live lives of authenticity, love, friendship and meaning. The workshop will include: · Communication Exercises · Hugging · Emotional Release · Flushing · Energy Work · Meditations · Dancing · Sharing · Bioenergetics · Authority Structures [endquote].

VINEETO: The Humaniversity has been set up and is run by Mr. Veeresh, a devoted and highly honoured disciple of Mr. Mohan Rajneesh, and his programs are firmly based on the spiritual and therapeutical values purported by Mr. Rajneesh. As you have quoted yourself, these values include ‘love, friendship and meaning’, which are clearly affective and spiritual values. The methods used to achieve those values are a fashionable combination of emotional release therapy and feel-good spirituality –

RESPONDENT: ‘Expect clarity, emotional release, taking off the pressure, meditation, vibrating on a higher level of consciousness, lots of hugs, expressing and communicating inner thoughts and feelings. You will feel enabled to be more free to be who you are. There will be a high level of intimacy and closeness.’

VINEETO: Tantra – spiritual sex – is nothing other than a clever combination of expressing one’s instinctual passions and giving this expression a fashionable spiritual coating. The homepage of Mr. Hellmut Wolf, the workshop leader, shows this very clearly – him, the wolf, longingly howling at a young naked goddess. ‘Expressing and communicating inner thoughts and feelings’ – obvious, ‘expect clarity’ – doubtful. What Mr. Wolf offers for the workshop is a mishmash of ‘follow your instincts and feel divine’, so common in today’s New-Dark-Age-spirituality.

‘Be who you are’, your natural self, is nothing other than one’s software package of instinctual passions stripped of certain moral and ethical conditioning.

The spiritual idea is that we are born innocent and then spoilt by society and conditioning – in Eastern terms called ‘the mind’. Therefore the remedy offered is to get rid of ‘the mind’ and ‘find your original face’, or ‘be who you really are’. The methods to become that are slightly varied but the basic teaching is firmly based in Eastern religion – enhancing the ‘good’ emotions and sublimate and disidentify from the ‘bad’ emotions. As Mr. Wolf says, he is using ‘ meditation, vibrating on a higher level of consciousness’. A little bit of feel good and some indulging in emotions and sexual instincts for a lot of money – but it won’t free you from your social identity, let alone from any instinctual passions.

So No. 12, what you are proposing is 180 degrees in the opposite direction to Actual Freedom. It is a mystery to me why you are advertising this so obviously utterly spiritual workshop on a mailing list that is questioning and debunking all spiritual beliefs and all traditional tried and failed solutions...

Actualism, the game that is played on this mailing list, is iconoclastic and completely down-to-earth. Once you experience in a pure consciousness experience the superiority of being without emotions and without an alien entity in operation, be it even for a short period of time, you might understand why I abandoned the spiritual path and can never ever again settle for second best.

09.6.2000

RESPONDENT: Thank you for expressing yourself in relation to my posting, Ms Vineeto. I read some of what you wrote, and may read some more later. If you change your mind and want to come to the workshop; I will give you a discount.

VINEETO: You didn’t get it, did you? Maybe it is due to not reading the whole of the message. I will post the last paragraph for you:

[Vineeto]: Actualism, the game that is played on this mailing list, is iconoclastic and completely down-to-earth. Once you experience in a pure consciousness experience the superiority of being without emotions and without an alien entity in operation, be it even for a short period of time, you might understand why I abandoned the spiritual path and can never ever again settle for second best. [endquote].

I am experiencing life right now is as perfect, with delicious sensate perfect sex whenever I want, living with Peter in perfect peace and harmony for 24 hrs, every day and with days that are an ongoing delight simply to be alive for 99% of the time. Why then, tell me, should I spend Aus$ 375 + GST to experience a workshop that offers ‘meditation, hugs, emotional release, vibrating on higher levels of consciousness’ when there is something immeasurably better on offer. Why should I choose second best?

The other question I would put to you is – why do write on a mailing list which is set up to discuss how to become actually free from the Human Condition, when you don’t even have the interest, or the time, to read what is replied to you? Do you think this list is a mere bulletin board?

By the way, you can call me Vineeto without the ‘Ms’. I don’t believe in a formal politeness that doesn’t even include reading to the end of my letter.

And now for something completely different. You may be wondering how actualism works in daily practice – how one can, as a third alternative, deal with sexual issues so as to eliminate the problems that prevent the continuing free enjoyment of sex instead of repressing or expressing, compromising or dis-identifying from the symptoms of social taboos and the instinctual drive. I’ll post a description of what I wrote at the time when I sorted out my gender issues and sexual problems in the first three months of my relationship with Peter –

[Vineeto]: When Peter and I started to throw out love it had a great impact on my sexual ‘identity’. It was an intense and scary time because right behind the nice, embellishing veil of love lingered all the monsters and demons of being an animal, a whore, a slut, not human and having sex with a ‘stranger’. Enjoying sex without ‘being in love’ is still considered one of the greatest sins of Christian morality. And Eastern spirituality regards any kind of sex as the biggest obstacle to enlightenment.

Not only had I to face my own personal conditioning about sex but I was also confronted with the fact of stepping out of the collective accepted behaviour and limits that every woman had been taught. Demons of atavistic fears would present me with their ferocious stories, as though I was still living in the Middle Ages, where women were burnt at the stake for leaving the fold or were expelled for not conforming. It took some effort to understand that both fears and beliefs around sex were simply inherited from other people, they don’t have any actual relevance for me.

Digging deeper, stepping outside of the realm of sexual conditioning and beliefs I then discovered their underlying force – the sexual instincts. This inheritance from our animal past is simply installed to blindly ensure the continuity of the species. It has nothing to do with my happiness and inhibits any sensible behaviour. Those blind instincts cause, among other troubles, possessiveness, jealousy, rape, murder and overpopulation. Identified and seen as what they were, these instincts eventually lost their significance and their grip over me. Now I can enjoy the sensibility and pleasure of sex without being driven, free of the need and dependency that used to be the inevitable consequence. I now don’t need to reinforce my female sexual identity or practise my manipulative power over men – hence the need for flirting has disappeared. Relating to men without the restriction of sexual flirtation is indeed a freedom to meet them in a new and fresh way.

Stripping away the ideas of ‘who’ I am supposed to be, leaving behind the identity of both the virtuous girl and the sinful whore leaves the pure physical sensation of sex. This pleasure I can now easily and delightfully share with a man who also has no idea of ‘who’ he is supposed to be. I remember one evening early in our relationship when Peter suddenly stopped in the course of foreplay and said, ‘I don’t want to feel like I have to pleasure you or be giving! Something is wrong here!’ We discussed and explored his objection and looked behind the habit of sexual role-play. The man usually thinks he has to give a good performance, please and pleasure the woman, and the woman thinks she has to make the man happy, either by surrendering to his wishes or – in the modern version – to have to ‘act’ super-sexual and have multiple orgasms. We investigated the whole scenario of these strange defining roles and inhibitions, with their expectations, bank-balances and hidden resentments, and considered them silly and unnecessary.

Since then giving and taking, right and wrong, pleasing and selfish is of no concern, each simply enjoys the physical pleasure of sex. Now sex is a dance with a wonderful mutual rhythm that evolves each moment, ever changing, thrilling, sensational, delicious and exquisite. Riding the waves of pleasure – each time off the scale. The freedom to leave behind the identity of being good or bad, loving or receiving and to follow and enjoy the rhythm of the bodies without any restriction of the ‘self’ whatsoever is an unsurpassed delight. No apprehension, fear or worry pales the intensity of this very tangible exquisite sensual delight. A Bit of Vineeto

So in case you have read this far, you may understand a bit more the difference between the therapeutic / spiritual approach to sex and the actualism approach. By tracing back my sexual inhibitions, moral taboos and instinctual passion I was able to get rid of the whole package altogether. Now I am neither driven nor fearful, neither needy nor moralistic – I can simply enjoy the sensuous sensate exquisite experience that sexual play is. I can appreciate the fun to share that sensate experience with a fellow human being who himself has as much pleasure as I do. The actual intimacy that originates in enjoying each other’s company without the hindering obstacles of gender battle, moral and ethical inhibitions and social role-play is so exquisitely delicious, each time again, that it has no comparison. It surely beats the emasculation of Tantra by a country mile.

13.6.2000

VINEETO: This has turned out to be a long response, and I suggest for optimum benefit in sensible communication that you maybe first read all of my response before replying to single paragraphs. It could avoid unnecessary repetition and misunderstandings. Of course, only if you are interested in a meaningful and fruitful conversation, that is.

RESPONDENT: I read your first paragraph again – and your repeat of your previous last paragraph – and again found that I know where you are coming from just that amount of your writing. I am sure that you can understand how that is possible because you clearly know where I am coming from by reading just a little of my writing ... or wish to give that impression ... so you know it is possible.

VINEETO: As for ‘you clearly know where I am coming from by reading just a little of my writing’

What I said about you was –

[Vineeto]: So what you are proposing is 180 degrees in the opposite direction to Actual Freedom. It is a mystery to me why you are advertising this so obviously utterly spiritual workshop on a mailing list that is questioning and debunking all spiritual beliefs and all traditional tried and failed solutions... [endquote].

I did respond to your advertisement on the Actual Freedom mailing list of the Tantra workshops from Ms. Margo Anand and Mr. Hellmut Wolf (‘Mr.’ is merely a social etiquette, because I don’t know him personally nor do I talk to him directly). As you said yourself, Mr. Wolf was trained by Mr. Veeresh in the Humaniversity in Holland. As I have been a disciple of Mr. Mohan Rajneesh for years myself, I happen to know that Mr. Veeresh used to be a well-known and highly honoured disciple of Mr. Rajneesh and his therapy approach was also well known and frequently practiced in Poona. Therefore I know by my very own experience what kind of therapy a Humaniversity-trained therapist is offering.

Mr. Rajneesh considered and declared himself to be the enlightened Master of Masters, the Blessed One, the Bhagwan (which literally translates as God), a vessel for Buddha Maitreya (for a few weeks), and considered himself in the lineage of all the other enlightened founders of religions that have walked on earth. Therefore Rajneeshism is clearly an Eastern religion, and a therapy that has its psychic roots in Rajneeshism is clearly spiritual. The methods announced for Mr. Wolf’s workshop are used by many Sannyas therapists all over the world –

[Respondent]: ‘Communication Exercises · Hugging · Emotional Release · Flushing · Energy Work · Meditations · Dancing · Sharing · Bioenergetics · Authority Structures’. [endquote].

So, from the ‘little of your writing’ I can well deduct that you are advertising spiritual therapy, which is 180 degrees opposite to actualism.

RESPONDENT: As you and your partner have stated, you are at the stage of virtual freedom ... it is great that you have the opportunity to hang out with Richard who, I feel (affectively) exists (existentially and experientially) in a state of Actual Freedom that you clearly do not know as yet. You state as much yourself. I recall a few days ago you wrote about your unhappiness...

VINEETO: Yes, I am living in virtual freedom. Virtual Freedom is when 99% percent of your time is spent in perfect peace and harmony with everything and everyone around you. When you wake up in the morning and know that you are going to have a perfect day and when you go to bed at night-time and you can say that you had had a perfect day. Virtual Freedom is when you are not bothered by petty worries, jealousies, competition, arrogance, grumpiness, sadness, boredom, and when you don’t get peeved, sad, bored, tired, annoyed, frustrated, impatient, uneasy, embarrassed, disgusted, angry, depressed or malicious. Virtual Freedom is when you very rarely come across an emotion in yourself, and when that happens you simply investigate into the root cause of the emotion and get on with enjoying life. Virtual Freedom is the firm basis one is falling back on when coming out of a pure consciousness experience, or when one is getting impatient, doubtful or fearful about freedom. Virtual Freedom is the proof of the pudding, it proves that cleaning up your grotty ‘self’ does actually work in everyday life with people as they are. Virtual Freedom is as close as ‘you’ can get to being actually free of the Human Condition while remaining a self. And Virtual Freedom is when you know with utter confidence that you are moving every day closer to the moment of ‘your’ final extinction.

If, however, someone writing from the experience of Virtual Freedom is not enough evidence to provoke your interest in Actual Freedom, there is always Richard’s writing, if you want to verify or clarify what it is I am saying. But obviously up to now neither Richard’s nor my words have had sufficient impact on you so as to start a closer investigation into the nature and purpose of actualism.

As for ‘a few days ago you wrote about your unhappiness’ – you can only be referring to my writing to Alan a month ago –

[Vineeto]: Doing some more ‘reflective contemplation’ on the issue I began to understand that comparison is almost a constant undercurrent whenever the ‘self’ is in action. Sometimes as a slight tension in the background, sometimes an obvious sadness invoked by feeling inadequate, comparison to others and my own standards seems to be almost synonymous with being a self. Getting this far in my contemplation there was the conclusion, bright and clear – I not only feel inadequate, I am inadequate, because according to my own standards I haven’t finished my job and my destiny. If I ever want to be adequate, then self-immolation is the only way to achieve my aim. Until then I can strive or resign, toss and turn – there is no solution within the Human Condition. It’s cute how every follow-up of and digging into issues always ends up at the same point, giving me more fuel to live on the edge of the imminent inevitable.

In Actual Freedom, of course there is no comparison – everybody is doing what is happening and one is doing it the best one can because that’s where the fun is. It is really that easy. Vineeto to Alan, 10.5.2000

What I described to Alan was an accurate account of how I deal with an emotion that occurs. As long as there is some trace of an instinctual self remaining, there are occasionally emotions happening, because emotions are the very substance of the instinctual self. However, having learnt how to investigate and deal with my emotions and being no longer blinkered and fettered by the torturous restrictions of my moral, ethical and spiritual conditioning, any exploration into an emotional issue is a thrilling adventure. This is in marked contrast to my spiritual years when my fruitless inquiries into problems through therapy and meditation were never able to remove the ongoing underlying unhappiness and dissatisfaction. With the actualism method I can explore the emotion to its very root, investigate the facts and resolve the issue – like I did in the paragraph described above.

This procedure is 180 degrees opposite to spiritual therapy, which I have tried and applied extensively for years. In spiritual therapy one is encouraged to express the emotion, indulge in imagination and venting and then shift from feeling the bad emotions to feeling the good emotions – moving from anger to compassion, from hate to love and from fear to bliss and Oneness. Despite years of spiritual therapy – and Mr. Rajneesh boasted of having the best therapists in his Ashram – I did not resolve my issues of relationship, jealousy, comparison, greed, lust, fear, anger, power, authority, neediness, inadequacy, pride or loneliness. All those issues have now disappeared by thorough investigation and understanding, by slowly, slowly getting rid of my precious adopted spiritual identity, my instilled social identity and by experientially understanding the makings and substance of the Human Condition.

Sure, I am not actually free yet, but that is only a question of ‘when’ rather than ‘if’. One of these days, I will experientially understand the last of the illusionary ingredients of my instinctual identity and simply be what I have always been – this flesh and blood body, brimming with sense organs, experiencing the vastness of the infinite universe as a sensate and reflective human being. And I can be so sure because numerous pure consciousness experiences have shown me the direction, have given me glimpses of the freedom that lies beyond self-immolation.

RESPONDENT: It is great you have made it as far as virtual freedom and all I am suggesting – as my contribution to this discussion about Actual Freedom (the state you do not find yourself in as yet) that you may wish to do some work and play with Hellmut Wolf who offers a way for you to find the freedom that exists beyond enchainment to your emotions...

VINEETO: I find it quite hilarious that you, who once introduced the term ‘actual reality’ as the summum bonum of your understanding of Actual Freedom are now suggesting how I can go beyond Virtual Freedom. If I may remind you of the relevant conversation:

Respondent: Yes, all this is so. I have been having trouble understanding what you and the others who communicate with you, mean by PCE. Now I begin to understand, when you say that in the PCE emotions / passions play no part whatsoever. There is nothing blocking direct experiencing of this moment. I cannot directly perceive what these words mean to you as you write them but I can ‘go ‘Aha!’ This PCE is known to me. Yes, when there is no emotionality present, and I am paying attention to this moment, there is such a quiet joy, a deep sense of peace, a fascination with what is here. There is enough. More than enough.

Richard: Yet there is more ... much, much more. I get to comprehend what you mean by ‘actual reality’ each time you write ... it is a good description and I may borrow it, if I may, when writing to others about settling for second-best.

Respondent: My initial impression of this list was: here were a group of (happy, harmless) people willing to explore beyond the appearances we put up to impress ourselves and each other, all the way into our inner realities. I assumed that this group of people would be interested to examine their own feelings. And that seems to be the case. Now I see that these very (happy, harmless) people are willing to move even further. Their intent (or actuality) is the complete annihilation of the constructed self that many of us are busy examining. But it took awhile for me to understand that. I cannot pretend that my Self is gone. But at least I can understand that ‘actual reality’ is a very confusing term – or perhaps even a misnomer – on the path to Actual Freedom. I now see that the words actual and real are used in two different senses on this list. Real has an affective component, whereas Actual does not. I begin to like that distinction. And I can understand that you imagined that I was referring to something transcendent when I popped up on the list talking about ‘actual reality’. I was not talking about something transcendent. I was talking about the ‘reality’ of the inner life of feelings, justifications, fears, and hidings.

Richard: My previous companion of eleven years was a sannyasin of the Mr. Mohan ‘Rajneesh’ Jain ilk when we first met. As she rapidly became an ex-sannyasin I learnt a lot about that spiritual milieu known as ‘The Sannyas-World’ ... and what you describe is known in the jargon as ‘being authentic’ (‘authentic’ as in ‘the author of’ and not as in ‘genuine’, ‘bona fide’, ‘actual’). Generally it means that one can act like an utter ‘asshole’ (an endearing and popular word spoken so often and lovingly by many on the sannyas-list) and get away with it by pleading ‘authenticity’. Peace-on-earth is nowhere to be found, needless to say ... but apparently that is not the intention anyway. <snip>

Respondent: And, Richard, is the meaning I give to the term ‘actual reality’ the same meaning you would give it when ‘writing to others about settling for second-best’?

Richard: By and large – via my personal observation – Mr. Mohan ‘Rajneesh’ Jain’s sannyasins have indeed settled for second-best ... if that. Richard, The Actual Freedom Trust Mailing List, No 12

And I find even more hilarious your suggestion that the very person who should help me to go beyond Virtual Freedom should be Mr. Wolf, who was trained by a disciple of Mr. Rajneesh, who knows bugger all about actuality and who has never even heard of actualism. He is not even enlightened, let alone disillusioned with goddesses and love. A man who introduces his work with a half-page size picture of a naked young goddess leered at by a lonely horny wolf at full moon is hardly the man who can contribute anything to an experiential understanding of Actual Freedom. Mr. Wolf talks about ‘emotional freedom’, ‘authenticity, love, friendship and meaning’ which is again quite obviously 180 degrees opposite to an actual freedom from the instinctual self. You have described his method as ‘taking people into emotions and into the freedom on the other side.’

I don’t need to be taken ‘into emotions’, and, whenever emotions occur, which is quite rarely, I am quite capable of exploring them by myself.

RESPONDENT: As you have managed to input this new information into the tiny trotting circuit that your mind currently runs in; and it now sits comfortable classified as alien to you and retro to you and ‘NOT US’ to you –

VINEETO: I think you are being upset quite unnecessarily because by ‘alien’ I mean the alien entity, that lost, lonely, frightened and very cunning entity that each of us is genetically programmed with, usually known as the ‘self’. Vis:

[Vineeto]: Actualism, the game that is played on this mailing list, is iconoclastic and completely down-to-earth. Once you experience in a pure consciousness experience the superiority of being without emotions and without an alien entity in operation, be it even for a short period of time, you might understand why I abandoned the spiritual path and can never ever again settle for second best. [endquote].

The only difference between ‘us’, a handful of actualists, and the other six billion people on this planet is simply that we actualists have decided to move beyond the tried and failed. When I had my first significant pure consciousness experience, which everybody has occasionally in their lives, I decided to act on the insights that I gained from this experience. The experience of the purity and perfection of a state without the instinctual emotional alien entity is each time so delicious, so superior to anything known before that I am determined to reach this purity 24 hrs a day. It is only by cleaning myself up that I am now able to enjoy the freedom and harmony of virtual freedom. Only by going for my avowed aim boots and all, with sincere intent, persistence and dedication have I been able to live in peace and harmony, happy and harmless.

As for ‘the tiny trotting circuit that your mind currently runs in’ ...

When I look back on the circuits that I have run in my life, there have been quite a few tiny and large circles, that I have tried out on my search for freedom, peace and happiness. I have tried marriage and failed. I have tried communism and socialism to change the world politically and found it wanting badly. I have tried feminism and found it as malicious as macho-ism. I have tried humanistic therapy and found it going round in circles. Finally I ended up in Poona at the feet of a self-declared God to learn about the solution for a happy and harmless life – and that was quite a large circuit, round and round and round, endlessly listening to hypnotic religious philosophy, doing meditation, worship, spiritual therapy ... and after 17 years I was neither more happy nor more harmless than before, only more dissociated from the problems of the real world.

Then I met Richard and the third alternative and left the vast circuit of feelings and imagination, the endless web of the psychic world, the emotional security of the Sannyas tribe of friends and acquaintances – to explore the actual world in pure consciousness experiences and involve myself in honest investigation of all my beliefs to bring about actual peace. Now I have no affective friendships, there is only a very small circle of people I hang out with and I am completely disappearing from both the real world and the spiritual world – no ‘love, friendship and meaning’ – if you get my meaning.

Yet, what you call ‘the tiny trotting circuit that my mind currently runs in’ is the determination to leave humanity behind, to facilitate the extinction of my alien self in order to permanently experience what I had only glimpses of in numerous PCEs – the incomprehensible actual infinitude, the unthinkable magical perfection, the delicious sensuousness of the physical universe, infinite and eternal, happening here and now, each moment again, ever fresh and new, happening under our very noses. This vast infinitude of actuality is always available for those who dare to step beyond their ‘tiny trotting circuit’ of everyday normal life or of the imaginary other-world of spiritual life.

RESPONDENT: I am, of course, not naive enough to believe that you will take up my offer of a discount...

VINEETO: It is a pity that you dismiss naiveté so lightly because naiveté is the closest you can get to innocence, the intrinsic quality of the actual world. In order to even consider that one can free oneself from the Human Condition, that one can change human nature, one has to get out of real-world or spiritual-world cynicism and rekindle one’s naiveté. Here is a bit that Peter has written on this essential ingredient of naiveté on the path of actualism –

Peter: It takes a bucketful and more to counter one’s personal fears and resistance and a mountain full to overcome the cynicism, despair and gloom of Humanity. One needs to concoct it, remember it, access it, resurrect it, find it, dig it up, fuel it, play with it, carry it in your pocket, stash a bit under the bed, season your meals with it, and stock up on it as much as possible from a peak experience.

Be foolish, gullible, silly and extremely naïve in ‘real-world’ terms for you are actually doing what is foolish, gullible, silly and extremely naïve in real-world terms – not to mention ‘spiritual-world’ terms – you are becoming free of the Human Condition. One needs to be naïve to believe it is possible in the first place, but as one gets into it you find your naiveté is supported by facts and incremental success (ie. finding that it works). This then produces confidence which then grows into surety, then an obsession takes over, naiveté‚ blossoms, and a benevolent inevitability ensues.

For me, naiveté was absolutely essential to counter any fear that arises. With pure intent as a golden cord, as Richard saw it, and naiveté‚ as a constant companion, becoming free of the Human Condition of malice and sorrow is inevitable. It would be foolish to think otherwise. Peter, The Actual Freedom Trust Mailing List, Alan

RESPONDENT: ... it would take a steam train pushing you from behind for you to move out of the circuit you are on. Or out of the fort :-) that you are barricaded into.

VINEETO: It would take more than your imaginary steam train to change my way. See, once I had the first significant PCE that lasted for a day and had seen through the veil of beliefs and feelings for the first time, I knew my destiny. If you are interested, you can find a description on our website. I will never be able to believe in ‘authenticity’ (of feelings), ‘love, friendship, meaning’, I will never be able to chase the dissociated state of enlightenment, I will never look for any solution other than the extinction of my identity, ego and soul. You are not the first one trying to change my course. There is no return for me from Virtual Freedom. You’ll have to write me off as a lost case.

‘Steam-train’ and ‘fort’ still seem to be your favourite expressions for actualists. Did your lengthy conversations with Richard last year not evoke some understanding about the magic quality of what we are talking about?

Respondent: Yet, in its very verbosity, and impenetrable cohesion and monologueness, leaves me with the feeling that meeting this Richard in the actual reality of his idyllic seaside village would be a bit like being fucked by an actual steam train?

Richard: Only if you were an ‘Awakened Teacher’ who was actively propagating those ‘Tried and True’ psittacisms called ‘Teachings’ that perpetuate all the wars and rapes and murders and tortures and domestic violence and child abuse and sadness and loneliness and grief and depression and suicide for ever and a day. You would indubitably be stopped short in your tracks ... those well-worn tracks leading from illusion to delusion. <remainder snipped>

Respondent: I leave out your wordy, commendable response because I actually prefer to focus on my imagery. I still crack up at the image of being fucked by an actual steam train. Do you?

Richard: It is a pity that you chose to leave out what you dismiss as a ‘wordy, commendable report’ and choose to remain stuck in useless imagery ... for it is the very actuality that you seem to be overlooking in your zeal to see only concepts wherever there is words. Richard, The Actual Freedom Trust Mailing List, No 12

*

Respondent: Do you perhaps also mean that verbosity is your fort?

Richard: No.

Respondent: Yes, I push this theme about words and concepts, I push it because it seems to me to be your fort. It is a very pretty fort. Richard, The Actual Freedom Trust Mailing List, No 12

*

RESPONDENT: It must be wonderfully virtually free for you in there... Ms Vineeto.

VINEETO: It is indeed. Virtual Freedom is available to everyone and achievable for everyone who wants it.

Not everyone wants it, though.

RESPONDENT: Isn’t it great that this forum exists for you to read the input of others so that you personally – yes you, Ms Vineeto – can slowly slowly move towards a state of Actual Freedom. Now I am going to read the rest of your writing. Thank you for the time and effort you put into writing it.

VINEETO: Yes, it is great. I’m having the time of my life. It is great that I can tell my story about what I found out about becoming happy and harmless, without malice and sorrow. It is me, after all, that gets to reap the rewards of my efforts in investigating all the remaining ‘ghost in my cupboard’ and it is me who can hold my head high in dignity because I am aiming for the highest goals of all – the purity of an actual freedom from malice and sorrow.

It is such good fun to test myself out each time when I meet people, or write, and it gets easier each time. Actual freedom is not a popular enterprise, there will be many a controversy coming up, so I appreciate every opportunity to sharpen my skills for the ‘Peace on earth vs. God in heaven’ game, as Peter so perfectly called it.

Ain’t it a ball.

RESPONDENT: Oh Vineeto, I read more of your writing I see you would like me to call you Vineeto.

That is fine. I was playing with you a bit when I called you Ms Vineeto. Perhaps you did not pick it up.

Because you called my friend Veeresh Mr Veeresh. I sort of chose to assume that you are into formal politeness, and I chose to sort of categorize you in the same way that you categorize people. That tendency towards categorization is a characteristic of the virtual freedom stage. If you get my drift. I am playing with you a bit. Do you pick that up? ... I know you pick up a lot, but perhaps you have forgotten how to play?

VINEETO: Oh, you meant, you were teasing me? Is that what you call ‘play’? I remember you wrote to me on the Sannyas list 18 months ago that this is how you like to play with your wife –

[Respondent]: My wife and I were, and are, constantly examining ourselves and each other. But we don’t do it in a dry, serious way, sitting in a chair thinking about things. It is more like we act out our psychodramas with each other and then we ‘pull each other’s tails’. [endquote].

I gave up that kind of ‘play’ years ago because I could see the power game and malice in it, which inevitable would come back to me. I gave up wanting to change the other and instead focussed on changing the only person I can change – myself. Also, I understood from examining my actions and emotions that the giver always suffers from his own malice – as guilt, separation, fear, defence and cynicism. Richard put it well in a recent correspondence –

Richard: Any mental-emotional-psychic viciousness on the part of another, first and foremost, lies in the heart of the ‘giver’ and inevitably turns in on itself as existential sorrow. Thus, in the final analysis, it is the ‘giver’ who suffers the most intimately. As for the ‘receiver’ of any nastiness, it is entirely up to them what they do with it ... apart from physical brutality, no-one can force their cruelty on another without the other’s acquiescence and compliance. Richard’s General Correspondence, Pg 9

As for calling your friend ‘Mr. Veeresh’ – I usually refer to people that I don’t know personally or don’t talk to personally as ‘Mr.’ I understand it to be a non-intrusive, polite way of referring to someone unknown, like you would call the woman next door ‘Mrs. Smith’. No offence intended at all. The other thing is that I don’t hold anybody in awe or veneration, everybody is simply a flesh and blood human being.

RESPONDENT: ... and I chose to sort of categorize you in the same way that you categorize people. That tendency towards categorization is a characteristic of the virtual freedom stage.

VINEETO: I think there is some confusion when you say that I am ‘categorizing people’ and this being ‘a characteristic of the virtual freedom stage’. Maybe you do not understand as yet about virtual freedom.

Categorizing people is something that everyone does – it is an activity that arises from the Human Condition. As a lost, lonely, frightened and very cunning entity we think and instinctually feel it to be necessary to categorize people, things and events not only in terms of dangerous or friendly but also according to our cultural moral and ethical conditioning, according to our spiritual beliefs and psittacisms and according to our individually acquired personal prejudices.

Just a side-note for No 7 – psittacism is derived from ‘psittacosis’ which literally means ‘parrot fever’ and it is a perfect description for the way people passionately hang on to and repeat the opinions and convictions they have picked up from others without ever bothering if they are factual at all. The dictionary defines psittacism as

‘The mechanical repetition of previously received ideas or images, reflecting neither true reasoning nor feeling; repetition of words or phrases parrot-fashion; an instance of this.’ Oxford Dictionary

In actualism, virtual freedom is defined as the state that you live in when you have rid yourself of most of your social identity, which consists exactly those morals and ethics, beliefs and psittacisms and the individually acquired personal prejudices. What one encounters after removing the cover of the social identity are the raw instinctual passions of fear, aggression, nurture and desire that come to the surface – but by then one is well equipped for this next adventure on the road to freedom. Because the outer layer of the social identity is removed, one is able to see and meet people as they actually are without the need of categorizing them in moral and ethical terms. Now, with my guard down, with no identity to defend, I can meet and talk to people as they are, relate to what they are actually saying instead of feeling, intuiting, assuming or imagining what they might mean. It is an intimate, refreshing, satisfying, utterly simple and enjoyable enterprise, I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Of course, sensible judgement, common sense and clarity function better than ever, now that the fearful feeling part of relating to people has all but disappeared. I can sensibly assess what someone says by his or her very words. I don’t have to revert to prehistoric means like feeling, guessing, intuiting, assuming, inventing, imagining and assessing them by their star-sign, appearance or gender. There are also certain facts due to the Human Condition that apply to every single human being – the instinctual passions of fear, aggression, nurture and desire, overlaid by the social identity of their particular tribal, religious and cultural upbringing. Having explored the Human Condition extensively and exhaustively in myself, I know about it intimately in everyone else as well, because ‘I’ am humanity and humanity is ‘me’. On the way to an actual freedom from the Human Condition you firstly explore this humanity and then leave humanity behind. What thrill.

RESPONDENT: Being so busy telling other people how they must do it and all.

VINEETO: I am simply sharing my discoveries and my success with the method of the third alternative. Given that six billion people are involved in a cruel and often terrifying game of survival, that has been ongoing for thousands of years, I consider it a great leap forward in the evolution of mankind that Richard has discovered how to live permanently in the actual world. There cannot be enough words written and talked and shared about this radical alternative at this stage, it being so new and 180 degrees opposite to all the Ancient Wisdom that everyone else, including what Mr. Wolf, Mr. Veeresh, Mr. Rajneesh and Ms. Margo Anand are espousing.

Whenever I think of the possible benefits that everyone can have who takes up the challenge of questioning the Stone Age Wisdoms of good and evil spirits and gods and devils, I am awestruck by the immensity of the inherent change that comes with an actual freedom – imagine, peace on earth ... Do you remember John Lennon singing in the sixties ...

‘Imagine there’s no countries ... it isn’t hard to do,

Nothing to kill or die for ... and no religion too,

Imagine all the people ... living life in peace ...

You may say I am a dreamer, but I am not the only one ...’

Or this one –

‘I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

I hope it’s a good one without any fear.

War is over, if you want it

War is over, now.’

War is over, now, at least for me. I have found how to be happy and harmless 99% of the time and I am delighted and enthusiastic to tell everyone about it who wants to hear it. And what a wonderful hobby it is, talking about peace on earth, here, now, in this lifetime...

Just think of it – a world without war, torture, rape, maiming, murdering, fighting, killing, domestic violence, child abuse, atom bombs, corruption, hypocrisy, competition, fear or greed. A peaceful world, with tribes freely mixing and mingling, people trading whatever and wherever they want to, enough to eat for everyone, plenty of comfort, leisure and pleasure. Technologically it is all possible as of today – the only thing preventing such an utopian reality is the heritage of the animal instinctual passions, ‘who’ we think and feel ourselves to be. And because I have tried out and applied the method on myself and some other people have done the same, we know that it works, individual by individual, for whoever is ready to change themselves radically and irrevocably in order to become happy and harmless.

But I am curious as to why you object to me telling other people of my discoveries? What is it that you don’t like about it?

RESPONDENT: Anyway Vineeto. I read your entire letter and found nothing in it that gives me the impression that spending $375 (less discount) on a joyful playful weekend of moving closer to the state we are discussing on this Actual Freedom list would be a waste for you. On the contrary. You may move further into the Actual Intimacy that you are clearly beginning to find in your life.

VINEETO: You must be kidding. Just before you said –

[Respondent]: I am of course not naive enough to believe that you will take up my offer of a discount... it would take a steam train pushing you from behind for you to move out of the circuit you are on. Or out of the fort :-) that you are barricaded into. [endquote].

... and now you talk about a ‘joyful playful weekend of moving closer’. Am I moving ‘further into an Actual Intimacy’ or am I stuck in ‘the tiny trotting circuit that (my) mind currently runs in’? It does appear as though your categorizations of me are somewhat confused and contradictory.

You have already indicated what you mean by ‘playful’ as in teasing, pulling one’s tail etc. I prefer the game of becoming happy and harmless – what we call the only game to play in town. How you come to the conclusion that a workshop, lead by a spiritual therapist who espouses ‘emotional freedom’, ‘authenticity, love, friendship and meaning’ has anything to do with what ‘we are discussing on this Actual Freedom list’ is a complete mystery to me. Maybe it would help your understanding to read some of the 1.5 million words on the Actual Freedom web site with both eyes open.

As for ‘the state we are discussing on this Actual Freedom list’

I know what *you* are discussing on this Actual Freedom list but I am talking about freeing myself from my social identity and my instinctual passions, in short, facilitating a final extinction of my ‘self’.

Tantra has nothing to do with an actual intimacy – Tantra does not questions god, or love, or emotions and has not even begun to acknowledge, let alone question, the instinctual passions as the underlying cause of human behaviour.

As for the Actual Intimacy that you are clearly beginning to find in your life

There are no capital letters in the actual intimacy that I am talking about, for there is no god, no love and no affective imagination in my intimacy with others as it is actual, tangible, palpable and not subject to the whims of emotions. I have found the actuality of such direct intimacy and I am enjoying it hour for hour, day after day, so much so that I take it for granted now. I even have trouble comprehending why everybody obviously has this need to quarrel and fight, when they are together.

How about you? Has any of the workshops you are offering helped you to ‘move further into Actual Intimacy’? How is your relationship improving in practice by the ‘Art of Emotional Freedom’, taught by your friend Veeresh? After all, an offered solution to someone else can only be sincere and honest if one has tried it out for oneself and confirmed by one’s own experience that it works.

RESPONDENT: It is great you are here Vineeto.

VINEETO: Yep, it is great to be here, to be alive in this thrilling time of adventure and investigation, right at the forefront of something that will be the turning point in human evolution from the Savage Ages to Peace on Earth. It may well take another 500 years to get a foothold in human consciousness to judge by the amount of silly objections that most people raise or by the immensity of fearful misunderstanding that I find happening with almost everyone I talk to – but nevertheless, the discovery is made, the method has proven failsafe and watertight and the words are out.

RESPONDENT: Great that your friend Richard encouraged you to set this list up so that you would be – in many different ways, including this one – be confronted with your own personal conditioning that keeps you trotting around the circuit.

VINEETO: Just for the records – Richard has set up this mailing list for a sincere and thorough discussion about an actual freedom from the Human Condition. You yourself have corresponded with him about a year ago on this very mailing list, so you are well aware of this fact. And yes, I welcome ever opportunity to be confronted with my remaining ‘ghosts in the cupboard’, my instinctual passions, whenever they occur – it is always a splendid opportunity to get rid of another passionate illusion, another notion of ‘me’ and it all brings me closer to the day of my final destiny. And there seem to be many people who make it their business to confront me for whatever motive.

What for you might look like ‘trotting around the circuit’ is for me an ongoing investigation and the key to the ultimate freedom that I have searched for all my life. Yes, all my dreams are coming true. Funny, today I consider everyone else trotting around in useless circles of their ‘self’-maintained passions and I am glad that I haven’t missed the bus to freedom.

You know, I never thought going mad could be so sensible.

15.6.2000

RESPONDENT: This time – I promise – I read to the end of your writing.

Now ... could we go back to basics...???

Is this list about Freedom (Actual or otherwise), or is it about actualism.

A one word answer would be sufficient...

VINEETO: Both, about Actual Freedom and actualism.

15.6.2000

RESPONDENT: Now... I love my state of ACTUAL freedom as you love yours.

VINEETO: Just a bit from the text-book of actualism to help you understand the relationship between the Actual Freedom that we are talking about and the method to achieve it ... it has nothing to do with love at all. Just assimilating words will only polish the image but never change the person. Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray was only a metaphorical fairytale after all.

Richard: Apperceptiveness is a word describing a condition which happens of its own accord and attentiveness depicts an activity that one vitalises with remarkable verve and vivacity which activates the quality that the word sensuousness specifies. What exactly they are will become clearer as one goes along ... and it is important to note that this is not a matter of ‘a communion of what lies behind the concepts’. This is because ‘communion’ is of the affective faculty – and feeling-words are devised as the representative symbols of levels in the ‘inner world’ – and communion emotes those identities and realities with which expressive feelings deal. The word attentiveness articulates a cognitive probity and sensuousness is a word indicating a pre-emotional fidelity and the word apperceptiveness denotes a pre-identification integrity – they are not shackled to irrational intuition and logical imagination or prescient revelation – and describe this actual sensational environment ... the world of the senses. Sensuousness and apperceptiveness of themselves are the actuality ascertained with the attentiveness which gives rise to delineation ... thus the words that follow are simply a report of the experience of actuality.

So, it is important to understand that whilst everything written here is both descriptive and prescriptive – thus it is going to make rational sense – the quality and condition will always remain inaccessible to insight, illation and divination ... it is inconceivable, unimaginable and unbelievable. Needless to say, attentiveness and sensuousness can be experienced – rather easily – and along with apperceptiveness they can be adequately described, provided one keeps in mind that the words are not feeling-fingers ‘pointing at the moon’ ... they are never allusions to that ineffable ‘thing-in-itself’ of mystical tradition. In fact, attentiveness and sensuousness are subtle processes that one is using at this very moment whilst reading these words. Also, although the experience of the actual world authenticated apperceptively lies prior to the feelings and thus before the identification, this fact does not make one primitive ... quite the obverse.

The actualism method – enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive – that was first put into action in 1981 is a potent method specifically aimed at experiencing a condition of uninterrupted apperception ... which means that the peace-on-earth that is already always here – now – will become apparent. Richard, Articles, Attentiveness, Sensuousness, Apperceptiveness

16.6.2000

RESPONDENT: Thanks for the REF ... Ms. Vineeto

Just so you know ... I am already living in a state of ACTUAL FUCKIN' FREEDOM...

Love to you sweetie ... enjoy your feelings today.

VINEETO: Thank you for the clarification. I take it then that you don’t have any use for, or interest in, any further discussion about how to become actually free from the Human Condition of malice and sorrow.

As for me – I don’t see any benefit in continuing this conversation as we clearly live in two different worlds.

20.6.2000

RESPONDENT: Just so you know... I am already living in a state of ACTUAL FUCKIN’ FREEDOM...

*

RESPONDENT: It is a difficult one, Vineeto ... as long as one is learning and teaching one is not free...

I see no possibility of profitably discussing with you how you, Vineeto, could be actually free as your friend Richard is.

But I see immense possibility of continuing this discussion.

All I know; Actual Freedom is.

It is great you are developing this new religion. We need religions in order to get together and discuss things so that we begin to understand each other.

It is a pity that all of the received wisdom of the eastern and western worlds up till now – including the new religion known as actualism – is imperatively and actually wrong, as it does not work.

One is Actually Free.

VINEETO: May I ask, have you considered listing with the venerated 502 awakened beings that are, for the first time in history, appearing under one ‘roof’ on the world wide web (http://www.wideopenwin.com/alphaover.html)? Being able to expound such profound truths and wisdom you will surely be welcome as equal amongst equals. Further you will be able to offer your own original teaching of AFF (Actual Fuckin’ Freedom), a situation that will give you a unique position amongst all the teachers and masters. Along with ‘Actual Reality’, ‘Actual Intimacy’ and ‘Creative Apperception’ there are many more phrases that can be coined to flesh out this deep and meaningful truth of yours – a vast field of creativity lies ahead.

Here are some possible descriptive phrases that I have picked up so far –

[examples]: Flesh-and-blood body mindfulness, apperceptive presence, non-spiritual reality, direct actual experience of truth, factuality of one’s ordinary self, a feeling of pure consciousness approaching, direct divine experience of the physical universe, non-spiritual self, spiritual ... oops, non-spiritual intimacy, thoughtless perfection, emotional facts, virtual commitment, physical Being, psychic flesh-and-blood body, ever improving perfection, extremely free, exploring beyond appearance into actual reality, true facts, greater apperception, the all-consuming universe experiencing the moment, personal sensate-only experience, such sensuous no-mind image, natural non-spiritual living, factual emotional remembrance, timeless sense of actuality, watching without being a watcher, unfragmented observed actuality, virtual facts, greater actuality, beyond the realm of the apperceptive mind-entity. [end examples].

RESPONDENT: It is a pity that ... the new religion known as actualism – is imperatively and actually wrong, as it does not work.

VINEETO: You might be mislead by the –ism at the end of the word ‘actualism’. The term ‘actualism’ was coined to describe the path to Actual Freedom, using Richard’s method. I know that Richard’s method works for me to extract myself out of the Human Condition and it works for some other people that have reported success. The fact that it does not seem to work for you might have some completely different reasons altogether and might need some further investigation.

As for the ‘immense possibility of ... discussion’ – for me, every discussion is an opportunity to discover an aspect of my ‘self’, to investigate any occurring emotions and to dismantle the human condition in me. This may be a discussion on this list, an interaction with a neighbour, a meeting at work, a talk with Peter or reading Richard’s writing. The decisive factor to becoming free from the Human Condition is solely my own sincere intent, my decision to bring about peace-on-earth by putting an end to the suffering and malice in me, permanently.

As such, everything that facilitates this exploration into my ‘self’ is welcome – yet I can’t quite understand why someone would make it their business to be more interested my freedom than in their own. Freedom, the actual palpable, permanent non-spiritual freedom that we are talking about on this list, can only be reached by my conscious decision to step out of the way and leave my ‘self’ behind – permanently. This decision has to be taken by each individual who wants to be actually free and can never be brought about by somebody’s pushing or pulling. As Richard said in the interchange below: ‘only you can allow yourself to be taken away’ by the ‘utter fullness’.

You see, I made up my mind a long time ago and the adventure of living on the brink of extinction is often breath-takingly thrilling and the coruscating experience of the infinitude often only a hair’s breadth away. Therefore your questioning me is coming too late to change my course. As I said before, you will have to write me off as a lost case. But thanks for the thought.

Richard, in his latest correspondence, described the necessary resolution to become free with delicate excellence –

Co-Respondent: In fact, ‘it’ happened again today. But I am not experiencing it with continuity, if that is what you’re getting at.

Richard: Nope ... what I am getting at is why praise ‘one-dimensional’ thought for its ability to stun its thinker (as in impressed by its own brilliance in thinking that thought) when it is the glimpse of the utter fullness which total attention makes apparent which is the trigger for the event. May I ask? What was instrumental in evoking ‘it’ again today?

Co-Respondent: I can’t say. It seems like it was the energy/order that happened simply re-aligned. It is almost as if that is calling one, though there is fear to answer that call ...

Richard: Does the fear increase if you allow yourself to consider that the words ‘it is almost as if that is calling one’ are the same-same as saying: this utter fullness is this brain’s destiny; this is what one is here for?

Co-Respondent: No, the fear abates. There is order in the perspective you express. Thanks for putting it like that.

Richard: Okay ... this is important, vital, pivotal: ‘I’, the thinker, know that ‘I’ cannot do it ... ‘I’ cannot disappear ‘myself’. Only the ‘utter fullness’ can, and the ‘utter fullness’ is ‘calling one’, each moment again, and it is only when ‘I’ fully comprehend – totally, completely, fundamentally – that to be living this ‘utter fullness’ is to be living ‘my’ destiny will one be able ‘to answer that call’.

This full-blooded endorsement means it then becomes inevitable. <snip>

*

Co-Respondent: Are you being predatory?

Richard: I do not have that capacity ... only you can allow yourself to be ‘taken away’.

Co-Respondent: As the thinker assuming divided existence through a one-dimensional adulterating of the more than 3-D fullness of that, I doubt ‘I’ am going anywhere.

Richard: On the contrary ... ‘you’ are going into oblivion for this is ‘your’ birthright. The doorway to freedom has the word ‘extinction’ written on it. This extinction is an irrevocable event, which eliminates the psyche itself. When this is all over there will be no ‘being’ at all. Thus when ‘I’ willingly self-immolate – psychologically and psychically – then ‘I’ am making the most noble sacrifice that ‘I’ can make for oneself and all humankind ... for ‘I’ am what ‘I’ hold most dear. It is ‘my’ moment of accomplishment. It is ‘my’ crowning achievement ... it makes ‘my’ petty life all worth while.

It is not an event to be missed ... ‘I’ go out in a blaze of glory. Richard, List B, No 25f, 18.6.2000


This Correspondence Continued

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