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Vineeto’s Correspondence on the Actual Freedom List Correspondent No 13
VINEETO: Hi, Good to hear from you. It is always a surprise to me to hear once in a while that someone is interested in pursuing Actual Freedom and is appreciating what we write about it. Almost everyone I have met and talked to about Actual Freedom seems stubbornly convinced that the traditional solutions of ethics and morals or spiritual transcendence must be the sure way to cope with life. I see it that I have come into the world with the Human Condition of malice and sorrow like a car that comes out of the factory already with a faulty engine – and everyone tells me to polish the outside in order to fix it up and make it look all right on the surface. No one considers looking under the bonnet where the problem is, and instead of screwdrivers, spanners and mechanical instructions one gets offered different brands of paint and polish. To translate the metaphor: no one acknowledges the core-problem, the instinctual passions of fear, aggression, nurture and desire and therefore the only ‘tools’ that are passed on from generation to generation are rules of moral, ethical and spiritual behaviour, varying from tribe to tribe, which is only a cosmetic fix of hypocritical ‘feel good and do good’. Why not, for a change, inquire into the root cause of the dilemma and fix up the problem itself? That’s what Richard’s method has been for me – the tool to get under the bonnet and fix up my brain, re-wire the synapse, and change the course of brain-activity – from feeling to thinking, from intuiting to contemplating, from meditating to researching, from passionate imagination to clear-eyed observation and from ‘self’-centred myopia to 360 degrees vision. The question of ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ has been the spanner to fix the engine, so to speak, and I have used it to investigate and research how the brain works in order to incrementally eliminate its software. The bugger in the engine is the ‘self’, this entity in each of us which is not only lost, lonely and frightened but is also very, very cunning. The challenge and the fun has been to find the many tricky ways the ‘self’ disguises and deceits, hides and pretends, delays and objects to exposure – because ‘I’ as ego and ‘me’ as soul will do anything to avoid death. RESPONDENT: Vineeto. A fascinating business ... indeed! Miss Dove is so deeply entrenched in the old deluded ‘me’. The more ‘we’ see the fact the more ‘we’ no longer control, (or get controlled), by moral goodness ... how liberating. False and sincere, deliberate and/or conditioned, ill-intentioned and/or well-meaning virtuosity is a curse to all concerned. Or is it? It all continues to happen whether I want it or not. The opposites no longer apply. Turning the other cheek achieves little ... it perpetuates the perpetrators ill-deeds and continues to build resentment in ‘me’ ... I find I deal appropriately and responsibly as a matter of course. To simply be what I have always been. The physical body, the energy food provides, the reflecting, the all-consuming universe experiencing the moment ... neither reacting, nor rejecting, nor hoping, nor trying to impress or get somewhere or be anything. I am already here ... always. Sounds mad but it is very sane and wholesome and real and actual all at once ... because it is all at this moment in time. NOW. If this is or is not actual intimacy ... who cares? Love or love can no longer trap me, bind me, or contort me ... My life is filled with happy and harmless fun and effortless games. The opposites no longer apply because there is no-one to apply them. No-one inside controlling or being controlled ... Yes! I used to be a good communicator and writer but why bother ... now that I see the actual nothing seems to really matter except my immediate needs and wants ... and what a delight to satisfy these ... in ‘good’ time, (is there any other type), effortlessly and completely. To endlessly condemn humanity for violence towards its self and ‘my’ fellows seems the only game worth playing ... but only as an ongoing extra ... an effortless incidental ... icing on the cake. The myth of teaching or helping others is definitely flawed, (because I can help no-one really) ... perhaps by example? The actual revolutions start here as a matter of course each time a new wonder manifests itself into consciousness or a physical sensation. I can only help myself each moment again. I can only partake of all that is on offer. What a life! This is Actual Freedom! Wooopppeee! Keep enjoying the words you two ... but not reacting rebelling against the good or the bad, (unless you want to of course) ... freedom from the instincts, or Gods, or beliefs, or anything is not the only thing to do ... all is pure and petty, mind games and wars. The opposites no longer apply. There is a big picture and no big picture, many systems and no system, many methods and no method, many gurus or no guru, many religions or no religions ... I live well automatically, spontaneously, intelligently, sensibly but most of all I live now because it is all I have. ‘NOW’ all the time ... even memories and wonderment are now ... if time permits. Rejection and embrace of intellectual knots and ideas and investigations only leads to more rejection and more embrace of the same ... more knots and ideas and investigations, etc., etc. If we only have one life this moment of experiencing life let ‘me’ not make it a dress rehearsal ... by always becoming or always intelligently mindfully or habitually investigating what may be ... unless it is NOW. Yes! Every time ... NOW! VINEETO: I remember my time of intense discovery when I had insights into the actual world but
got off the track when, instead of staying with the actuality of the sensate-only experience, ‘I’ would grab the experience to go off at a
spiritual-philosophical tangent – I called it being a ‘Truth production machine’. I have written about it in my For me, the guiding light has always been the Pure Consciousness Experience where there is clearly no ‘self’ in action, which means that there are neither feelings nor imagination happening. The moment I started to notice an affective feeling or emotion about what I was sensately experiencing or thinking, I knew that I was not having a PCE. My inner alarm-bell would ring and I started to investigate the emotion. At first imagination was a bit more difficult to detect. To distinguish imagination from observation I needed to diligently explore the facts of the situation, read and re-read Richard’s numerous descriptions of the actual world and discuss my perceptions with Peter. In short, anything that cannot be sensately experienced is not actual. When one starts to investigate the psychic world, one’s ‘self’-centred reality and facts are so cunningly intermingled that it is absolutely essential to stick with verifiable facts in order to uncover and eliminate passionate imagination. Having been spiritually trained for years to dis-identify from thoughts and enhance the ‘good feelings’ I had to turn 180 degrees in the opposite direction – from ‘go easy and follow your feelings’ to ‘what are the facts of the situation?’ That leads me to the issue you have raised in your second letter: RESPONDENT: Interestingly though, I find my eyes will still produce tears when I, (or ‘I’), as soul and/or body, am moved by something ... it might be anything ... so I guess there are still some residual, instinctual, or physiological karmic issues to deal with? It is not really a problem to deal with but it is interesting to note and share with anyone interested? I know intellectually the whole process but there seems to be a soul, or physiological ‘something’ in operation still? My laughter used to be almost uncontrollable fifteen years ago, but now I seem to only raise a chuckle ... angst or nervous energy release is dissipated with the dissipation of anxiety. The same seems to be true of tears ... it seems I still feel ... if only for milli-seconds ... all I can do is watch as a most interested observer ... watch and marvel at how me as this universe is working. Any ideas anyone? VINEETO: Tears, sympathy, empathy, love and compassion have been good indications for me that there was something to look at. Once I started to clean up my personal emotions and broadened my perspective from ‘self’-centred to factual, I became more aware of what is happening with other people. Television and new-papers, reports and films – they all gave me a very detailed picture of the malice and sorrow evident in everybody, and the way human beings treat other human beings often caused distress and brought tears to my eyes. Yet I knew that every feeling, be it for myself or for others, had its roots in my own instinctual passions – and they are the only thing I am able to change. My sorrow or being affected by others won’t change their situation, but by eliminating malice and sorrow in me I will stop causing ripples – at least I will then not be contributing to suffering in the world. So, whenever I am moved by even the slightest feeling it is a sure indication for me that the ‘self’ is in action. And for me, 99% is not good enough. To actually care for one’s fellow human beings means to actually change oneself irrevocably. RESPONDENT: When my mother who is currently experiencing difficulty caring for my father, (who has Alzheimer’s disease), asked me; ‘do you think I will be reunited with my mother in death?’ I hesitated as to whether I should tell her my true opinion. After we honestly explored together the possibilities of returning to a state similar to that experienced prior to conception ... everything seemed OK for we are all in this business of living and dying together ... ‘together’ seems to be the operative word ... investigating together ... both living and dying. Not for the faint of heart and weak of knee, but truly amazing. Not unlike marvelling at the universe, (Peter and Vineeto), of stars and people and everything. There can be no time or room left for useless worry, or sympathy, or illusive love and common pathos, (compassion). VINEETO: It is a fact that when one dies one dies, irreversibly, irretrievably and irrevocably. Any other opinion of death is only a belief. To find out about death as a fact I needed to investigate my belief in anything meta-physical and explore the emotional reasons for wanting to believe in something other than what can be sensately experienced. This investigation is verily ‘not for the faint of heart and weak of knee’ , for one may encounter fear and dread the likes of which are ‘truly amazing’ . Those fears are the very reason that all the ancient humbug beliefs in numerous silly fantasy-heavens have survived for thousands of years despite the scientific advancements and technological developments. But to proceed beyond the limits of one’s survival fears is an adventure I wouldn’t want to miss for anything. It gives me the freedom to live here on this earth, each moment fully alive, delighting in being this flesh and blood body, and no hold barred.
RESPONDENT: P.S.: I like your ‘Meta Tag’ ... used for finding AF? ‘consciousness, philosophy, osho, psychology, spiritual, religion, metaphysics, enlightenment, tantra, orgasm, anthropology, sociology, mystic, cosmology, zen, physics, krishnamurti, theology, buddha, meditation’. VINEETO: Yes, the meta-tag is for those people who are fed up with all the philosophies mentioned above and are looking for something that can deliver a freedom that religions only promise.
RESPONDENT: Nice to get your thoughts ... so I thought I’d reply... VINEETO: I remember my time of intense discovery when I had insights into the actual world but got off the track when, instead of staying with the actuality of the sensate-only experience, ‘I’ would grab the experience to go off at a spiritual-philosophical tangent – I called it being a ‘Truth production machine’. RESPONDENT: Yes... when ‘I’ write, or talk, ‘I’ use ideas, ‘truths’, if you like, they are not the experience. The sensate-only experience is personal and as such is difficult to remember and share. Its truth, if you like, is only within a context ... ‘my’ context of 46 years of experiences. VINEETO: The sensate-only experience is not ‘personal’ at all because there is no ‘self’ in operation to claim it as personal. It is, however, ‘difficult to remember’ because of the non-emotional context of the experience. The sensate-only ‘self’-less experience, a pure consciousness experience, has nothing to do with any ‘truth’. When I write, I write about my day-to-day experiences of the actual world and about investigations into beliefs, feelings and passionate convictions. I never write about a truth or a belief that I have because I don’t have any. Truth consists, exactly as you say, of the personal ‘context of 46 years of experiences’ as well as ‘ideas, truths’ that have been passed down for centuries. ‘Truths’ are what everyone believes to be their personal truths – they are nothing but spiritually upgraded feelings and, as such, are neither factual nor direct experiences of the actual. Truth is nothing other than a fervently believed, and passionately defended, mixture of hope, faith and trust – fertile fodder for one’s ‘soul’ that everyone is so contumaciously proud of. Truth is the paint and polish for the car with a stuffed engine, a nice-looking, nice-feeling cover-up for the malice and sorrow inside. So you must have misunderstood my use of the term ‘Truth-Production-machine’ when in your letter to Peter you say:
Well, you obviously have not read my correspondence with Alan or ‘Explorations of Death and Altered States of Consciousness’ that I mentioned in my last letter. Pure intent definitely does not lead to ‘Vineeto’s Truth Machine status’ but ensures that one goes beyond it, detecting and dismantling the ‘truth’, replacing it meticulously with verifiable facts and sensate experience. Here is the piece I was referring to when I mentioned the ‘Truth-Production-machine’
Becoming aware of ‘truth’ being passionately produced over and over again and daring to stop the dreaming of this ‘truth’ gave my ‘self’ a considerable blow. After that experience and realization, satoris and enlightenment and their ensuing Grand Wisdom lost their lure and grip over me – and thus I had removed another rock from the wide and wondrous path to actual freedom – I will never run aground again on the insidious ‘Rock of Enlightenment’. RESPONDENT: For example, if ‘I’ believe or hope ‘I’ set myself up for a disappointment. ‘I’ remember how this felt and avoid doing it, (believing and hoping), again. It becomes natural to live without hope and belief ... it makes more sense in a very practical way ... it leads to happy and harmless... VINEETO: It is not natural at all to live without hope and belief. Hope and belief are the very attributes of the ‘self’ in action. One may suppress hope in order to avoid disappointment and pretend not to believe so as to not look silly, but in order to live without belief and hope one needs to ‘self’-immolate. ‘Self’-immolation is a very unnatural thing to do – it goes against every instinctive and intuitive feeling. This decision can only be taken with pure intent, derived from an experiential understanding of the Human Condition in a Pure Consciousness Experience. In your next sentence you are re-inventing hope all over again... RESPONDENT: ‘I’ share this with others in the hope that they will learn ‘my’ lesson ... to be less alone ... etc, etc, etc, etc... VINEETO: ‘The hope’ ... ‘to be less alone’ – ‘I’, one’s ‘self’ is lost, lonely, frightened and very, very cunning and will cunningly do anything not to feel lost, lonely, frightened and isolated. One ‘solution’ to not feeling lost is to pass on one’s Wisdom or ‘Truth’, which is nothing but passing on wisdom about how to paint and polish a car with a stuffed engine. Why not, for a change, lift the bonnet and fix the engine, i.e. re-wire the brain and become free from the Human Condition? Then being alone is simply a fact and perfect as such. Who would want to be bound to anyone when there is the whole universe to experience! RESPONDENT: ‘I’ believe ‘I’ am acting with pure intent because of all the wars and violence in the world ... why not spread Actual Freedom to the world? ... VINEETO: Once you act with pure intent you know that you do, not just believe that you do. Once I know by my own experience that actualism works, there is no belief necessary, even if everyone else will think that I am mad – and they all do. As Richard says:
RESPONDENT: ‘I’ am a victim of ‘my’ best efforts in a vicious circle of ‘my’ best intentions. ie hope for something better and belief that AF works. VINEETO: I don’t quite understand what you are saying. How can you be a victim of yourself? Once you understand what is happening there is always a choice to stop being silly. An actualist always has a choice to investigate the reasons for hope and belief and the fear of being alone and can eliminate the very cause of hoping, believing and being afraid. RESPONDENT: Communication for what? Perhaps to reaffirm ‘I’ am on the right track?? Perhaps there is no track at all ... simply living well so all may simply live well too?? Sounds moralistic but is actually common sense ... in operation. VINEETO: I don’t know what your reasons are to communicate. I write to tell my experiences of this new and effective method to permanently change from the miserable, fearful, angry and sorrowful person who was deeply immersed within the spiritual world of hope and postponement, into the happy and harmless human being that I am today. I find that worth communicating to anybody who is interested in becoming free from the Human Condition. I know for a fact that I am ‘on the right track’ – my daily life proves that actualism works. I don’t need reaffirming that I am ‘on the right track’ because by applying the method I have become happy and harmless. The only way I got rid of belief and doubt was to find out for myself that it worked. If something works, it is a fact. But there is a track all right – we call it the wide and wondrous path. It is very easy to find, yet ‘not for the faint of heart or weak of knee’ , to quote Richard’s expression. One simply asks oneself each moment again ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ – and then one takes whatever action is necessary to return to delight, leaving one’s ‘self’ behind, bit by bit.
RESPONDENT to Peter: Peter, just so you know you are not talking to thyself alone... here goes... Have been taking your advice and reading heaps. I find that using the right words is important if one is to provide a glimpse of that which is authentically experienced in a PCE. In my experience I can only attempt to convey a flavour, style or ambience of the ‘thing’ rather than the emotional or intellectually factual remembrance. There being no thinker there is however an awareness remembered. As a teacher and youth worker for 15 years an on-going and vital part of the job description, for success, has meant relating and being understood. This has always been in the context of the goal-orientated workplace or conceptualised future context of some hypothetical future possibility. Writing about the freshness and pristine, timeless sense of PCEs however is something else again. Would love to hear of your PCE experiences and how they compare, now, to when you started experiencing the actual, (for the first times). Were they drug induced? I seem to remember you saying something like ‘they’ become more ‘like normal’, compared to spiritual, only without the problems? This is my experience. The main difference, (in my dealings with others), is that few ‘want’ to understand because they have a vested interest in ‘being’... this life actually easier puts others more at ease or threatens their being, depending on my intentions at any given time. This is not being a teacher or youth worker. I am retired from helping others that want no help. One must want change to change. It is to some extent usually pointless to convey ‘my’ PCE experiences in general terms. I prefer rather to communicate and translate the real problems into actual solutions. This applied interaction makes for a fascinating ‘challenge’. A challenge where the talking is the talking and the talking is the challenge. This is what I am attempting to convey in my writings and talkings. I watch the whole interaction without being a watcher... I have no emotional or vested interest in that which is spoken. VINEETO: I couldn’t help noticing that you appear to be using Actual Freedom as a clip-on to whatever else you believe and then aspire to convey this potpourri to others in ‘writings and talkings’. I got this impression from your writing:
VINEETO: You give the impression that you have had lots of PCEs and yet you say: RESPONDENT to Peter: There being no thinker there is however an awareness remembered. [...] I watch the whole interaction without being a watcher... ... timeless sense of PCEs ... VINEETO: In a pure consciousness experience there is no ‘self’, neither beliefs, morals or ethics, nor any feeling identity, instinctual passion, or ‘self’-centred perception. One experiences the actual world as it is, perfect, blatantly obvious and magnificent. It has nothing to do with ‘there being no thinker’ or ‘watch ... without being a watcher’ or ‘timeless sense’ . These are spiritual terms, describing a spiritual experience. If one has a pure consciousness experience one is not uncertain about the terms to describe this
experience because when one steps out of one’s ‘self’ there is a startling and blindingly obvious difference to everyday fearful, ambitious,
blinded and ‘self’-obsessed reality. For a short time one stands outside of the ‘real world’ and can see it without beliefs and passions.
Richard, Peter, Alan and I have described various occasions which you can find under the Actual Freedom Trust Library page – I am particular about this vital difference because if you call a spiritual experience a pure consciousness experience, then you will have no intention to ever search for a genuine PCE and you will pursue something in the name of Actual Freedom that is merely spiritual belief by another name. You indicated the reason for such ‘easy way out’ yourself:
This brings me to the next point that is absolutely essential if one ever wants to make a step on the path to Actual Freedom – pure intent. Without pure intent, and without the understanding that the only solution to the Human Condition in oneself is ‘self’-immolation, every attempt to catch a bit of happiness will remain polluted by one’s lost, lonely, frightened and very cunning entity. For me, before I even considered to convey anything to anyone about actualism I dug deep inside myself, investigating every mood, feeling, emotion and passion that became apparent in my interaction with people, things and events. I examined every truth, belief, moral conviction and ethical certainty until I discovered the self-evident facts for myself and eventually got rid of the very act of believing itself. I questioned love, intuition, female conditioning and instinctual behaviour, my relationship to my peer group, my spiritual beliefs, my attitudes and feelings about authority, my old and new religious principles, my ideas about environmentalism, about politics, about right and wrong. My whole inner world was taken apart and eventually thrown out and often times it was not only an exciting and rewarding but also a scary and terrifying enterprise. But I had the honest intention to stop at nothing less than the undeniable actuality – I simply had had enough of all the beliefs, lies and self-deceptions that failed to make me both happy and harmless. Actual Freedom is about changing oneself, not others, it is about honestly investigating oneself, not teaching others and it is about admitting to and finding the workings of the Human Condition in the only person one can do something about – oneself. Although one can mix any Eastern or Western belief or religion, for they are of the same ilk, a clip-on of Actual Freedom will never work. Actual Freedom lies 180 degrees opposite to any spiritual/ religious belief whatsoever. I leave you with some relevant conversation that Richard had with No 12 on this list a few months ago. No 12 was using the term ‘actual reality’ when trying to integrate a bit of Actual Freedom terms into his existing belief-system. *
RESPONDENT: No 16, ... my observations for all they are worth. VINEETO: I would like to take the offer and investigate the presented points for what ‘they are worth’ for an actualist and in what way they can be used as a starting points for further inquiries into the Human Condition. RESPONDENT:
VINEETO: ‘Being mothered’ is clearly an expression for not only a physical taking care but also a close emotional relationship. Mother-child is the most primary relationship for a human being when starting life. A mother – or a substitute mother – is essential for the baby to physically survive and in later years – together with the father – essential for the child to learn the basic functions and rules in the world. From the parents one gets one’s first and strongest imprint and conditioning, and scientist say that in the first seven years one’s character is basically formed. In a physical sense it may well be that one ‘no longer need[s] to be mothered’ from the time one leaves home, but the roots of one’s identity are shaped by mother or father and the positive and negative feelings for mother or father usually play a considerable part in one’s life – unless one leaves home emotionally and physically. Although I had done various primal therapy groups to investigate my emotional ties with my parents, there was still a lot to do and to investigate when I came across actualism. Psychology gives great credence and value to one’s memories of childhood feelings, be it anger, resentment, love, dependency or trauma and works to reconcile the now-adult with the past feelings of childhood – while actualism aims to find the root of a particular emotional hang-up, to understand the cause and eliminate it as part of one’s identity, as a son or daughter. For instance, when the question of ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive’ brings up a feeling of guilt connected to the values instilled by my mother, I would contemplate about guilt in the Human Condition as one of the moral functions that keep the social and religious system in place. With this understanding guilt is no longer a personal issue between two individuals, but an issue of the Human Condition instilled in me. With enough courage and the firm intent born out of a PCE I can then step out of that part of my social identity and leave the values of being a ‘good daughter’ behind. The same procedure applies for any other issue connected with the mother-daughter, mother-son relationship, like loneliness, authority, fear and security, duty, peer pressure, etc. One needs not delve into the unreliable memories of childhood hurts but only investigate the feeling that is arising now as it applies to one now and as one is experiencing it now. Understanding is only needed in order that one can take action to be free of the feeling in any future moments where a similar situation may trigger a similar feeling. Be wary of trolling past memories for if one lifts the lid, the garbage bin will forever fill itself up again. Psychological and psychic therapy that focuses on childhood issues has failed for this very reason. Only then I can say with confidence that I ‘no longer need to mothered’. RESPONDENT:
VINEETO: I can go along with your statement that the mother needs to be ‘professionally cared for, nursed and hospitalized etc.’ , if that is the case, but there is also the issue that people want to be taken care of in the emotional sense of the word. It is usually the demand for emotional care, the pressure to ‘give back what I have given to you’, etc. that creates conflict and stress. An actualist will deal with this conflict like with any other conflict – not trying to change the other (which is impossible), but changing oneself in that one removes the stranglehold of the Human Condition in oneself and thus becomes un-afflicted and un-affected by the emotional demands of others, be they mother, doctor, brother or peers. Then one can, with ease and delight, sort out the practical necessities and find the best and most sensible solution for everyone involved. RESPONDENT:
VINEETO: As you point out, to say that ‘emotions, (like love and compassion), will only ever get in the way...’ is not enough to free oneself from their clutch. Usually one attempts to suppress one’s feelings by calling them inappropriate. As we know from Richard’s experience of 11 years of enlightenment, love and compassion, the ‘good emotions’, have a strong grip on the ‘Self’ and need extensive investigation into what it is that ties one to this big club called Humanity. So, any opportunity is a ‘serendipitous opportunity to explore the cause’ of the underlying feeling, emotion and instinctual passion of one’s concern. What’s left is genuine benevolence and actual concern for one’s fellow human being. RESPONDENT:
VINEETO: Most people believe that one will forever be tied to one’s mother by the law of ‘nature’. It is factually wrong. The moment I left home, my mother ceased to physically take care of me. Since then I have supplied my own food and shelter, my body-cells have renewed themselves many times over since my mother gave birth to me. I am not the same body that I was 20 years ago, let alone at birth. My mother cannot claim any credit for me as I am now. Emotionally, the bond on both sides continued – for me, until I stopped being a ‘daughter’, for her it may well never end. RESPONDENT:
VINEETO: Yes, that’s right. One has to be careful, though, because there is a vast difference
between the actualism practice and the spiritual teaching of ‘you are all right as you are right now, no need for change’ à la The question is what is this ‘your best’? By what standard is ‘your best’ measured? How do I determine what is my best? In spiritual years my best was measured according to the dream of ‘good’ and ‘bliss’, the morals and ethics of Eastern religion, and my failures were excused by the obvious ongoing failures of most human beings to achieve the goal of enlightenment. ‘That’s life’ or ‘Existence wants you to be like that’ are two of the common excuses for not being the best, for being sad, worried and malicious. As an actualist I have a different aim and a different evaluation of what is the best I can be. Having experienced the actual world in its purity, perfection, magic and benevolence in PCEs, my best is always oriented on this experience and my effort to change is always directed to eliminating the ‘self’ that is preventing me from experiencing this perfection 24 hours a day, every day. Then instead of ‘self recriminations’ I examine my errors in order to stop repeating them, investigate what caused them in the first place and aim to be as happy and harmless as I can be. RESPONDENT:
VINEETO: Personally, my best would be to learn how not to be affected by someone else’s feelings and demands such that I can make an appropriate and sensible response to the situation and enjoy the other’s company when we are together. RESPONDENT:
VINEETO: Yes, ‘we live in a very medically advanced society’. Therefore it is very well possible to have an old age that is as pleasant and as comfortable as one’s middle age. One can also have an old age that is as emotionally traumatic as one’s middle age unless one does something about it, and this will have the added advantage that one then won’t be an emotional burden to one’s children! Strangely enough I have hardly met anyone who was interested in changing his or her painful, sorrowful or traumatic situation for a happy and harmless life, whatever the age or gender. Emotional traumas are for those who like to keep their emotions and their identity. But, in fact, there is no need to have an emotional trauma at all, provided one is ready to give them up and willing to investigate into the source of one’s feelings and emotions. Eliminating one’s identity and leaving Humanity behind has the great advantage that one does not need to suffer with the sufferers and/or rescue the victims of self-imposed suffering. In my experience, most people want sympathy and com-passion (the word means literally – company in suffering), but nobody is interested in practical methods to bring about actual change – so any attempt to rescue others or offer advice is only like pissing in the wind – you get wet for trying. But it is always good fun to tell my story...
VINEETO: Good to hear from you. I always like it when there is discussion or debate because that is an excellent opportunity to discuss the nitty-gritty of the Human Condition and the method of Actual Freedom. In this way everybody on the list can enhance their understanding and make a choice for themselves. RESPONDENT: Vineeto, I shall have to write in more detail, (when I have time), but when you wrote; ‘I would like to take the offer and investigate the presented points for what ‘they are worth’ for an actualist and in what way they can be used as a starting point for further inquiries into the Human Condition.’ Your response was excellent but don’t under-estimate what others have come to understand and what others may or may not believe. VINEETO: I read through my last letter to you very carefully and I could not find anything that indicates that I ‘under-estimate what others’ – in this case you – had to say in your seven points to No 16. Neither did I say anything about what you ‘may or may not believe’. Since the points were very short, I found it appropriate and useful to explore your statements on a deeper level in order to have a clearer understanding of the Human Condition. Actual Freedom is not about what ‘others may or may not believe’ but about ascertaining the facts of the situation. This is, after all, the very purpose of this Mailing List. Knowing my own process, and therefore having studied the Human Condition in detail, I indeed know a lot about ‘what others may or may not believe’ and what may therefore be useful hints or clarifications in order to free oneself from one’s social identity and one’s instinctual passions. After all, the Human Condition is common to all and does not vary very much in each person. Aggression is aggression in man or woman, young or old, East or West, as are the other instinctual passions. The social identity has a few more possible variations according to the particular culture that one was raised in, but the basic moral and spiritual beliefs are very much alike. Everyone believes that an immortal spirit or soul inhabits this flesh-and-blood body and that for the sake of one’s ‘eternal future’ one should aspire to follow the ‘good’ and ‘right’. Underpinning the ‘good’ and the ‘right’ there is also instilled the common fear of retribution, punishment, ostracism and ridicule should one dare to stray from the well-worn path. RESPONDENT: In doing this you isolate yourself from all humanity, (including those who may know even as much as yourself), without really needing to. VINEETO: Yes, you are right in a way about isolating ‘from all humanity’. By
assessing the Human Condition as common to all of humanity including myself, it is clear that in the process of freeing myself from this very
Human Condition I will ‘isolate [my]self from all humanity’. Personally, I would not call it ‘isolating’, although it might feel
like isolation at the start of the process. Once you come here into the actual world you realize that you have been isolated all your life by
being bound by the Human Condition and therefore become less and less isolated from people, things and events by freeing yourself from it. The aim
is to Richard, as the pioneer, is the first who has stepped out ‘from all humanity’ and has thus proven that not only is it possible to survive without beliefs, affective feelings and instinctual passions, but it is the only sensible solution to all the murders, wars, suicides, violence and suicides in the world. Peace on earth is only possible when one dares to question all of humanity. As Peter said,
Richard described it in his journal page 58, Article 21: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO COMBAT THE WISDOM OF THE REAL WORLD. RESPONDENT: To assume can be to egotistically presume superiority. VINEETO: The other day I had a pure consciousness experience where I understood once again that the Human Condition of malice and sorrow is indeed the particular flavour of human beings on planet Earth. I experienced a broadened awareness that gave me an overview of planet Earth floating in space, observing all that is going on and seeing its common flavour of humanity, whatever the place, race, gender or age. Human beings, by their very nature are inflicted with the genetically-encoded instincts that produce malice and sorrow. They pervade every thought and action, are the fuel for every emotion and passion and make ‘life a bitch and then you die’. The social identity and the instinctual ‘self’ are intrinsic to and a result of the evolution that took place on this fair planet, the third rock from the Sun, in the Milkyway galaxy, in the infinite universe. Yet now the evolution has reached a point where humans can free themselves from the now unnecessary ‘appendix’ of the social identity and the animal survival instincts. What serendipity! In this PCE I could also see that even though a staggering six billion people think, believe, feel and act within these parameters of the Human Condition, the actual world is nevertheless infinite, eternal, perfect, silent and magical. The actual world is always and everywhere present underneath the doom and gloom of our ‘self’-centred perception and can be discovered any moment. In such a PCE I can see that it does not matter that right now there is only Richard who lives in the actual world 24 hours a day, every day. This blithesome, magnificent and benevolent actual world exists always and everywhere around us, it is always here, always now and immediately experienced when I leave all of humanity behind. Out of this and similar experiences, I don’t need ‘to assume’ – I know the Human Condition in its totality, in myself and therefore in everybody, because I can see it from not being afflicted by it for a certain period of time. Such experience is the opposite of ‘egotistical’ because a PCE is only possible when the whole ‘self’ is absent – in spiritual terms, both ego and soul. And yes, such an experience, even for a short period of time is vastly superior to any experience within the Human Condition. That’s why I want to live it every day, 24 hours a day. I don’t need to ‘presume superiority’, I simply write from the memory of the superior state evident in a pure consciousness experience and from the ongoing experience of Virtual Freedom. RESPONDENT: I note you describe yourself as, ‘virtually free’. VINEETO: Yes I do. Richard describes Virtual Freedom like this (apart from what
For me, Virtual Freedom includes being happy and harmless 99% of the time and being guided by pure intent in order to leave the ‘self’ behind permanently, to ‘self’-immolate. Implicit in Virtual Freedom for me is that there is no backdoor, no return possible into the normal or spiritual world where everybody lives. From here, the anti-chamber to ‘being no more’, the only jump possible is into an Actual Freedom. Virtual Freedom is living in peace and harmony with Peter without the slightest quarrel ever and being in peace with my fellow human beings. This is only possible because I have investigated all the components of my social identity, be they gender, culture, race, nationality, profession, belief, religion, peer-group, etc. including their particular values of right and wrong, good and bad, true and false. Leaving the social identity behind is the first and most essential step before one can begin to inquire about the instinctual passions that lie beneath our social conditioning. I have written about Virtual Freedom earlier:
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RESPONDENT: Does this mean that you either expect to arrive, or believe that you will also arrive, (like Richard), some day if you continue to search and investigate verbally and experientially? VINEETO: On the spiritual path one can either become enlightened, like 0.0001% of the people who have conscientiously lived the spiritual teachings, or one is among the millions who merely follow the Eastern morals and ethics of right and wrong, good and bad. In my experience, even after years of sincere and diligent application of the spiritual methods, life was essentially not better, neither more happy nor more easy – and I was definitely not more harmless, since that is not the aim of the spiritual path. The spiritual path is not concerned about this life at all, but about turning away, transcending and denying this world in order to attain eternal bliss and fame in some after life. The path to Actual Freedom has the advantage that I have a very clear knowledge of what I want to achieve through the experience of selflessness in a PCE. Also, after a relatively short time I can see the actual, tangible and ever-increasing success of a life more and more free of malice and sorrow and eventually reach a state of Virtual Freedom. If everyone lived in Virtual Freedom, there would be peace on earth, even if nobody else managed to become actually free. So Virtual Freedom is not to be dismissed lightly as ‘arrive ... some day if you continue to search and investigate verbally and experientially’. For me, anyway, it is a point of no return. If, however, someone writing from the experience of Virtual Freedom is not enough of a proof that the method to Actual Freedom works, there is always Richard’s writing, if you want to verify or clarify what it is I am saying. RESPONDENT: I must point out that I am not ‘just’ writing, but like you, I am writing from experience. VINEETO: Because Actual Freedom is so new and radically non-spiritual, it often happens that it
is difficult to distinguish between Actual Freedom and the teachings of ‘wisdom’ that have been around for centuries. Having had several
experiences of PCEs and of Altered States of Consciousness I can say that I am an expert on the pitfalls and seductions of the spiritual world. If
you are interested you can read about If by ‘I am writing from experience’, you mean life-experience, it can only be an emotional experience from within the Human Condition and, as such, is worth sharing to enhance the inquiry. If you mean you are writing from an experience of a PCE, I can only go by what you write and your words and descriptions don’t convey the experience of a self-less state. In our exchange before last you used expressions like:
To me these expressions are indicative of a spiritual experience, and are not describing a pure consciousness experience. In a PCE one is this flesh-and-blood body only with the clear awareness of what is actual. Everybody who can remember a PCE can recognize when someone describes the purity of the actual world. In a PCE the ‘real’ world does not exist because the ‘real’ world consists of ideas, beliefs, emotions and passions produced in the head and in the heart. In a PCE there is no ‘emotional ... remembrance’ because emotions are the very substance of the self. RESPONDENT: Labels are not needed except as you say, ‘as a starting point for further inquiries into the Human Condition.’... and it is good fun. VINEETO: I have never talked about ‘labels’ ‘as a starting point for further inquiries into the Human Condition’. I said – as you have quoted at the very top of the letter:
Label according to the dictionary means: ‘...to put in a certain class, to describe by a certain label’. Macquarie When you say ‘labels are not needed ...’, I take it that you don’t mean words or descriptions, but use ‘label’ as in making a moral judgement. Personally, I find that both precise descriptive words and accurate judgments based on facts are essential for the inquiry process. How else is it possible to distinguish silly from sensible, malicious from harmless and sorrowful from happy? The important thing is what one’s judgement is based upon – and most people use their feelings and intuition to judge a situation, a person, a statement or an event. But to base one’s judgement on facts, common sense, pure intent and the memory of a pure consciousness experience is the only way to find one’s direction in the maze of old wisdom and NDA beliefs, ancient psittacisms and self-centred emotion. So, labels are very much needed, for fruitful communication, for clarity and for in-depth investigation into the substance and content of the Human Condition. Once one gets rid of the moral and ethical judgements (usually the self-recriminations are the hardest) of good and bad, right and wrong, then the clarity that comes with sound judgement is all good fun.
VINEETO: Good to hear from you. It is always fascinating to hear a little bit what you and others are gaining from our discussions on this list and from applying the method of ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ RESPONDENT: Have not written for a while as I have been absorbing the reading and living my life as only ‘I’ can while still an identity inhabiting this flesh and blood. <snip> The list still however provides a valuable source of clarification... ‘I’ have always required self discipline, (force), and inspiration, (imagination), to perform and achieve ... this is often an intellectual exercise backed up with hard work ... wherein ‘I’ become a slave to my own dreams and schemes rather than to others. A slave none the less. I know I can perform and achieve just as well, (and more happily), when I am not driven by any desire. My needs are met without excessive effort. When ‘my’ aim is to be actually free I don’t want to be dependent on a mailing list, person or anything else ... then ‘I’ become anxious and alone for in truth I am already a free personification of this perfect part of this universe. VINEETO: I found the term intent very useful to describe that I, in fact, have a very specific goal in life – ‘self’-immolation – and that I want to achieve this goal like all get out, i.e. I am driven by the desire never to settle for second best. That intent puts all my efforts and reflections into perspective, I apply ‘self discipline’ when needed, I draw inspiration from many sources – be it my personal malice and sorrow that I want to get rid of, be it another’s report of success or be it the suffering of humanity at large that I do not want to perpetuate with ‘my’ identity. I don’t consider this being a slave (if I understand you rightly) but having a clear aim in life to do something for my happiness and my harmless and thus contribute to peace on earth in the only way I see possible. As for being dependant on a mailing list – personally I found any discussions about the Human Condition and how it manifests in me and in others a very useful tool for my investigation. Only by interacting with other people in the market place could I find out where I am not free yet, where and how I have changed and what I still need to investigate in me. That is my main reason I write on this list and other lists – to stick my neck out to find any instinctual passions that remain uncovered. RESPONDENT: Sometimes the intellect is on guard so as to avoid being taken advantage of and sometimes it is planning too far in advance. Often to the point where I become burnt out, tired and irritable/impatient. When ‘I’ am too efficient at looking after ‘me’ life becomes is a bit like a game of chess whereby ‘I’ win with all due care and diligence but at a physical cost and with none of the fun. Sometimes ‘I’ am guilty or feel rudderless when ‘I’ don’t have a purpose, or reason other than fulfilling my needs and wants. Even saving the world via can AF becomes an exhausting mission. Sometimes ‘I’ was tempted and seduced with well-paying employment which became a convenient distraction, experiment or self affirming legitimization of self. VINEETO: Yes, I know well the strange feeling of becoming more and more redundant as ‘me’, the one who feels to be in control of my body and of what is happening around me. The more I replaced feelings and beliefs with facts, and moral and ethical ideas with simply acting sensible, the more ‘I’ as a social and instinctual entity become redundant. As Peter described it before, sometimes it is a single flash of insight that initiates a change in me and results in the elimination of a certain habit, feeling or behaviour but then it takes weeks or months to get used to still functioning with the ‘hole’ that this missing habit, feeling, drive or behaviour has now created. Almost like one had a pet parrot that died and now one missed its terrible screeches. RESPONDENT: ‘I’ choose now not to manipulate myself, (or manipulate others) as ‘I’ used to. ‘I’ cannot manipulate others without that manipulation exhausting ‘me’ or upsetting ‘me’. ‘I’ am finding ‘I’ was a fool of my own socialisation and self-perpetuating creation. The only answer is to stop being an identity or social construct. VINEETO: In my experience it is easily possible to change one’s identity from one persona to another, but to stop ‘being’ requires a depth of investigation and ruthless exploration that is not only exhaustingly intensive, it often appears dauntingly endless. It is no wonder Richard says this business is not for the faint of heart. RESPONDENT: Sometimes in the past power was a self affirmation which was better than being a nobody ... a surrogate for the respect I craved ... a reaffirmation that I was a somebody (of distinction) beyond my physical self or spiritual Self. Force in the name of ‘righteousness’, ‘fair play’ or anything else, however, is still force. It is not needed if I can walk away. I even went into a mind trip whereby I saw the flaw in AF was a reaction to violence ... an opposite to physically asserting oneself legitimately ... rather than living in ease and excellence. Altogether a thrilling and stimulating year with more twists and turns than an Alfred Hitchcock movie. VINEETO: Yes, to investigate into the turbid depths of the social identity of one’s beliefs, moral and ethical conditioning and the Stygian depth of one’s instinctual passions is indeed far more exciting and entertaining than ‘an Alfred Hitchcock movie’. It’s the only game to play in town. Vineeto’s & Richard’s Text ©The Actual Freedom Trust: 1997-. All Rights Reserved.
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