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Mail Out 19

Vineeto to Subscriber No. 13

See Mailing List ‘D’: No. 20

20 JANUARY 2010


Congratulations for the breakthrough into actuality (P,R) and for finally having playmates joining you (R)

VINEETO: Hi No. 13,

Thank you for that, it is indeed marvellous and magical to live here in the Actual World.

SUBSCRIBER NO. 13: My companion and me have been practicing actualism for the last 18 months and are still in the process of dismantling our social identities.

VINEETO: You seem to be one of the few people that have found a companion with whom to delve into this wondrous and at times thrilling adventure together. I am sure you are aware of the many, many words that Peter and I have written on the subject of dismantling one’s social identity.

SUBSCRIBER NO. 13: I was wondering if, due to the recent events that resulted in freedom from the human condition for Peter and Vineeto, the wide and wondrous path can be shortened or is/was living in Virtual freedom for years a prerequisite for such an event to happen?

VINEETO: Oh, yes, it can certainly be shortened.

Virtual Freedom – the pragmatic virtual freedom that Peter and I described in our correspondences is a very good launching pad for the out-from-control / different-way-of-being stage of the actualism process which Richard has amply described in his recent posts to the Yahoo list (see also Richard’s Selected Correspondence on Out From Control).

There is no fixed rule, of course, as to how long it will take each person to become actually free – it all depends on the sincerity and intensity of their intent to become free and, arising from that pure intent, their degree of caring for their fellow human beings as well of yourself. You may have already gathered that one cannot become actually free for one’s own benefit alone nor for the sake of personal peace of mind only.

It needs a desire to do something radical about the human condition (as in rooting it out) for the benefit of your fellow humans (including yourself, of course) – an altruistic desire for something that lies beyond one’s personal ‘self’-interest, only, in order to overcome the powerful instinctual drive of ‘self’-survival (basically experienced as ‘self’-preservation and fear).

SUBSCRIBER NO. 13: In other words, (now that you discovered a direct route...) can a ‘normal’ person find himself experiencing this intimacy/ sweetness/ closeness and make the transition to the actual world sooner rather than later before going through the whole process of dismantling the social identity / minimizing the effect of the instinctual passions?

VINEETO: Richard has always maintained that there is a rapid way to an actual freedom and that ‘a tidying-up of social mores and habitual patterns ‘after the event’’ can happen far more easily when one is already free from the human condition, in order words, when feelings no longer stand in the way of checking out remnant beliefs or certain habits that carry over from a life-time of identity-dominated patterns.

You can find Richard’s full text hereRichard, List D, No. 10, 3 Dec 2009

SUBSCRIBER NO. 13: Thanks for your time.

VINEETO: You are very welcome, No. 13 (and partner).

You may also find some clues as to how to proceed ‘sooner rather than later’ in my correspondence with No. 5.

Cheers Vineeto

Mail Out 31

 Vineeto to Subscriber No. 13

27 JANUARY 2010

Hi No. 13,

SUBSCRIBER NO. 13: Thank you Vineeto for your reply, your words are filled with benevolence.

There is something I had noticed a few weeks ago and I’m curious if it has any connection to the caring you have mentioned (in your reply to James and also in other posts) as the key for both the process of dismantling the social identity and becoming free from the human condition.

A few weeks ago while being with my partner I noticed I am being malicious to her in a subtle way (probably because of not liking something she said) and as I realized I’m being malicious I also experienced another ‘force’ sweeping away this malice, turning it into the closest I could be at that moment to benevolent (I experienced it as the best I could be with another person – considerate, kind, sincere, etc).

I could then trace back this force to a previous contemplation I had about my interactions with people in general and with my partner in particular and the realization I had that the way I’m behaving is far from the optimum and it’s just a shame to waste my moments on being malicious when I know I can do MUCH better than this.

From that point I considered this experience as a discovery, I started to understand the ‘harmless’ bit of actualism and how potent it is (more than merely being happy) in changing ‘me’.

VINEETO: Ah, this is music to my ears. We writing actualists have always maintained that becoming harmless is the more important part of being happy and harmless particularly because one cannot be genuinely/ sincerely happy if one is inconsiderate, mean, competitive, aggressive, malicious, sarcastic – in one word un-caring – towards one’s fellow human beings.

Becoming harmless is the key to genuine benevolent happiness (and when I am happy it is easy to be harmless) and paying attention to one’s own feelings and actions and then being interested enough to care as to how I relate to other people is the key to being harmless, which in itself fuels my own happiness.

SUBSCRIBER NO. 13: By seeing how I treated others, especially the ones close to me (that I supposedly cared about) I could see what I had to change to actualize my caring (as far as I could).

Is this in the direction to what you were referring in:

[Vineeto to No. 5]: ‘The key component for both of us had been caring, a caring as close to an actual caring as an identity can muster.’


[Vineeto to No. 5]: ‘I had also entered a contract with Peter to look at everything that stood in the way of peace and harmony/ intimacy between us. I discovered that I needed to perceive him not as an extension of ‘me’ (as is usual in normal relationships), a projection of ‘my’ needs and preferences but as a fellow human being in his own right – and my caring for him meant whittling away my identity as much as possible in order to give him (and me) the intimacy we both yearned for.’ (to No. 5, 17.1.2010)

VINEETO: Oh yes, very much so. As I said elsewhere, becoming harmless (and therefore happy) was the beginning of being caring and in the end it was a near-actual caring that made me dare to give everything of ‘me’ without further reservation. This willingness to give everything of what ‘I’ hold most dear, to abandon ‘me’ at the core of my ‘being’ for the benefit of this body, that body and every body is the inevitable end of ‘me’.

SUBSCRIBER NO. 13: If this is true, people on the path can pay exclusive attention to this ‘caring, a caring as close to an actual caring as an identity can muster’ and use it as the driving force behind the whole process of becoming harmless and happy :)

VINEETO: Well said.

This caring (becoming as harmless as possible and moving towards a near-actual caring) is of course not to be confused with the feeling caring that is taught as part of the (religious) morals and ethics of society. One is taught to be un-selfish, to put the other before oneself (which never ever happens in practice), in order to reap a feeling-better-than-thou superiority and/or a reward in a mythical life after physical death.

Provided you understand that the moral/feeling caring is only keeping you locked within the human condition and that near-actual caring includes you as much as everyone else, then you can indeed use it as the driving force for the whole process of becoming free.

SUBSCRIBER NO. 13: Looking forward to your reply, Thanks for your time, No. 13 (and partner :-))

VINEETO: You are always welcome, No. 13 and partner (she wouldn’t want to be kept in brackets, what do you think?)

Cheers Vineeto

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