Actual Freedom – Mailing List ‘D’ Correspondence

Richard’s Correspondence On Mailing List ‘D’

with Correspondent No. 6

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Re: Richard

May 10 2009

RESPONDENT: Thank you, Richard for sharing your experiences and discovery on the AF site.

RICHARD (to Respondent No. 4): Does everybody reading this now see how vital it is that the integrity of The Actual Freedom Trust web site remain inviolate?

RESPONDENT: I understand it fully. And protection of accuracy is of utmost importance as much of the person behind it. And I speak out of personal experience that radical departure from conformity is persecuted as a rule rather than an exception.

RICHARD (to Respondent No. 4): And I ask this question because, once I am dead and gone, The Actual Freedom Trust web site, with its (legally) registered imprimatur, will remain the only guaranteed-to-be-accurate repository of authentic reports/ descriptions/ explanations of an actual freedom from the human condition.

RESPONDENT: And that even an innocuous attempt to change it/or style can lead to compromising of the entire enterprise.

And lucky, No. 4!! (I am already jealous!) :-)

Best regards

RICHARD: G’day No. 6, I have not communicated with you before, but I have read all the emails you have posted since subscribing.

And, during the recent kerfuffle, I was particularly taken with your No. 5195 post ... thank you. Plus, of course, No. 5269.

I appreciate your words, above, about understanding it fully.

As for ‘... even an innocuous attempt to change it/or style leading to compromising of the entire enterprise’: yes, indeed.

So much so that I am currently considering my options in regards making some changes to accommodate what more than a few clearly would like to have happen.

Vineeto has already been looking into just what is required to take the lock off the font size, for instance, but whatever we end up doing it may take a little while (there is an issue with text-flow around images, which may have to be attended to on a page-by-page basis, as compared with a global unlock of font size).

Lastly, about being jealous ... something new to look into, eh?

Life is so good, at bringing unseen things like that up, one never need go search for an issue.

Regards, Richard.

November 10 2009

Re: Peculiar Information # 5

RESPONDENT: Greetings, Richard

RICHARD: G’day No. 6

*

RICHARD: As libido is null and void for me then being sexually active or not is purely a matter of preference. What this means in effect is that sexual congress, because of its utter proximity, has more to do with intimacy than anything else.

Now, here is where it becomes quite an intriguing matter because, and as a generalisation only, women tend to place more emphasis on intimacy than men. Indeed, many a woman has bewailed the dearth of men prepared to make the big commitment required for such connubial accord. Yet they are deathly afraid of intimacy – the fear of intimacy is a subject most women have talked to me about – for it means loss of self.

And therein lies the rub: the survival instincts can kick in big-time, especially during sexual congress, and the very opposite of the longed-for intimacy takes place (as in pulling-back, turning-away, closing-off, shutting-down, and so on).

RESPONDENT: Very apt observations and understanding. Further more, the survival instincts, can kick in also because of the predator/ prey tendencies that men, inadvertently, display and their aloofness for intimacy.

RICHARD: In normal men (and as a generalisation) ... yes, of course.

Had I been born a female my response would have been couched in terms of how it is for a man/for men, in regards to sexuality and intimacy, during sexual congress with a woman actually free from the human condition.

RESPONDENT: If you will indulge my question: is it possible still to have actual intimacy, even if the partner (man/woman) is evidently inhibited by self and survival instincts?

RICHARD: Actual intimacy – no separation (no separative self whatsoever) cannot wax and wane/ come and go/ switch on and off here in this actual world (the world of the senses). Upon an actual freedom from the human condition an actual intimacy is the norm with every body and every thing regardless of whatever their or its current situation and circumstances might be.

(Some peoples have looked at me blankly upon being informed there is an actual intimacy with, say, an ashtray or a polystyrene cup or a pebble or whatever).

In terms of human sexuality, and due to its utter proximity, sexual congress sans identity/ affections is the exquisite experience of two flesh and blood bodies sensuously delighting in being sensually and sexually aroused.

(As there are no identities in actuality I actually interact only with flesh and blood bodies; at times this can be quite disconcerting, to say the least, for any identity feeling itself to be other than illusory).

Because it can take an incredible amount of willpower for a pulled-back or turned-away or closed-off or shut-down identity to override (psychosomatically) its bodily arousal, its body’s natural sexuality, the body’s sensual delight, that exquisite experience can continue until such over-riding succeeds in its quite perverse anti-intimacy aim and arousal diminishes, sexuality declines and sensual delight falls away to nought.

In short: although reciprocity is never needed there is, of course, a preference for sexual enjoyment and appreciation be mutual.

*

RICHARD: Put briefly: unless or until such a woman comes into my purview being single, in this respect, will remain my ongoing status.

RESPONDENT: You do not prescribe to fellow humans, but do you recommend the above sensible approach rather than ‘experimenting’ with fellow human beings to explore sexuality or actual intimacy?

RICHARD: Oh, no ... not at all (that above approach is only in regards to an actual freedom from the human condition).

No, on the contrary, exploring sex and sexuality is enormously beneficial: there is no better way, in my experience, for a man and a woman to approach such intimacy than sexual congress.

For instance, back when I was a normal man I came close to the loss of self already mentioned on several occasions (in my first marriage) only to instinctively pull-back, out of instantaneous fear at such imminence, as it intuitively seemed she would thus take over my mind and make me her slave for ever and a day.

It was not until after the four-hour PCE, which initiated the process resulting in an actual freedom, that it became obvious to me what such loss of self actually meant.

Accordingly, I deliberately set out to induce a PCE via giving myself completely to her – totally and utterly – whilst hovering indefinitely on that orgastic plateau which precedes an orgasm (something which I had discovered whilst pubescent).

And then ... !Hey Presto! ... no separation whatsoever.

(Incidentally, rather than that intuitive fear of thus being her slave coming true it was quite instructive to have her then relate how she had been fantasising about a current heart-throb pop singer all the while I was giving myself to her totally).

RESPONDENT: I am aware that PCE and EE are much more possible during sexual intimacy and congress hence the urge to experiment.

RICHARD: Yes, indeed so.

Both my third wife (de facto) and my second wife (de jure) were very keen to experiment. For instance, my third wife initially set out to explore her ‘wild side’ (to use the jargon) as she was most appreciative of being with a man with no limits – no limiting fear in regards the vast extent, and a near-insatiability at times, of female sexuality.

Curiously enough, in the end it was her very own fear (of female sexuality) which set the limits. But, until then rampant sexuality took place morning, noon and night – all throughout the period of writing those millions of words to my fellow human beings – and much was uncovered/ discovered about female sexuality.

She has a scale of quality in regards sexual experience: good, very good, great, excellent and magical.

Good sex relates to togetherness.

Very good sex relates to closeness.

Great sex relates to sweetness.

Excellent sex relates to richness.

Magical sex relates to actuality.

To explain: togetherness is the companionship of doing things together – be it shopping, cooking, having sex, whatever – and pertains to the willingness to be and act in concert with another.

A closeness is where the personal boundaries are expanded to include the other into one’s own space; this is a normal type of intimacy.

A sweetness is when closeness entrées a lovely delight at the proximity of the other (although it can veer off into affection, ardency, love, oneness).

A richness (aka an excellence experience) is where sweetness segues into a near-absence of agency via letting-go of control and one is the sex and sexuality (the beer and not the doer).

Magical sex is where sex and sexuality are happening of their own accord – neither beer nor doer extant – and pristine purity abounds (an immaculate perfection).

Ain’t life grand!

Regards, Richard.

November 13 2009

Re: Peculiar Information # 5

RESPONDENT No. 14: My female partner said after some months of practice:

‘Your libido are too much to me!’. But we still married and happy together. So, if you permit one correlated impertinence: Why are you single now?

RICHARD: As libido is null and void for me then being sexually active or not is purely a matter of preference. What this means in effect is that sexual congress, because of its utter proximity, has more to do with intimacy than anything else. Now, here is where it becomes quite an intriguing matter because, and as a generalisation only, women tend to place more emphasis on intimacy than men. Indeed, many a woman has bewailed the dearth of men prepared to make the big commitment required for such connubial accord.

Yet they are deathly afraid of intimacy – the fear of intimacy is a subject most women have talked to me about – for it means loss of self. And therein lies the rub: the survival instincts can kick in big-time, especially during sexual congress, and the very opposite of the longed-for intimacy takes place (as in pulling-back, turning-away, closing-off, shutting-down, and so on).

RESPONDENT: [...] [...] Greetings, Richard Thank you for your responses.

RICHARD: G’day No. 6, I trimmed this email to focus on the essentials (fear of intimacy and fear of sexuality). If there is any section you want to re-introduce please do so.

RESPONDENT: I am aware that PCE and EE are much more possible during sexual intimacy and congress hence the urge to experiment.

RICHARD: Yes, indeed so.

Both my third wife (de facto) and my second wife (de jure) were very keen to experiment. For instance, my third wife initially set out to explore her ‘wild side’ (to use the jargon) as she was most appreciative of being with a man with no limits – no limiting fear – in regards the vast extent, and a near-insatiability at times, of female sexuality.

RESPONDENT: Yes. That is what most women will look forward to.

RICHARD: Aye, yet when that opportunity is freely accessible – as an ever-available living actuality – all manner of weird behaviour can take place (to the point of utter bizarrerie).

Now, obviously I am not going to go into details as my reports are circumscribed by the fact that the persons concerned are both readily identifiable and still alive (I have no such constraints when talking about just myself) but as the subject is of primary importance – man-woman sexuality and intimacy is the genesis of family and thus the very core of civilisation itself – there is too much at stake for me to take my unique insight to the grave/ pyre/ whatever.

To explain: I have had three wives – with each marriage spanning more than a decade – as three different persons (a normal person, a mystical person and a freed person).

In my first marriage I was both a normal person (at first masculinist then later feministic) and a spiritually enlightened/ mystically awakened person.

In my second marriage I was first an enlightened/ awakened person then later an actually freed person.

My third marriage was solely as a person actually free from the human condition.

Hence me being well-placed to know what nobody else can know.

Plus, in the five celibate years between my first and second marriages, I was the single parent of young daughters (at first two girls then later one girl) and gained much understanding at that grass-roots level.

Also many women during that period – at least a score if not more – most insistently proposed, via blatant sexuality, either a ménage a deux or a ménage a trois. (Love Agapé is the most potent aphrodisiac ever to be invented).

Lastly, as a boy I only had girls as playmates (all the children in the near neighbourhood, in the remote farming community where I was born and raised, were female) and all through my life I have always preferred female company ... to the point of much mocking and ridicule for being thus considered effeminate (to use a more polite word).

Most importantly: I like women – they are simply marvellous creatures when at their best – and, being such victims of their own emotions and passions, are both ripe for and deserving of liberation.

Especially so as, where the women go, there go men too (eventually).

RESPONDENT: And social conditioning pulls tight strings on this ‘wild side’ and mankind finds it most threatening – to social institutions of family, religion, marriage etc.

RICHARD: Indeed ... and womankind, having internalised what mankind finds most threatening, can be the most fierce advocates of those ‘tight strings’ (both to themselves and to their kind).

However, there more to it than what mankind finds most threatening ... much, much more.

*

RICHARD: Curiously enough, in the end it was her very own fear (of female sexuality) which set the limits.

RESPONDENT: Interesting. I am curious about the use of the expression ‘fear (of female sexuality)’ – because being with a man without any limits – as in limiting fear as you put it above, is liberating from the fear that female sexual identity suffers videlicet body image, self-esteem, social/ cultural/ moral conditioning induced guilt and shame of being wild etc.

RICHARD: My third wife was already liberated from the social/ cultural moral conditionings (such as induced guilt and shame and so on) when she set out to explore her ‘wild side’ ... she was most uninhibited in that respect.

What emerged, of course, was her ‘dark side’ (hence my ‘fear of female sexuality’ phrasing when characterising what eventually set the limits).

Yet behind or beyond even that lay a much greater fear (giving rise to even greater weird and bizarre behaviour).

As it is of such importance I obtained her permission to speak about it (she is currently out of the country for an indefinite period).

One fine weekend some time ago we went on a boat-trip upriver; we were at anchor in a semi-remote spot and something happened to her, whilst having sex, which she unknowingly locked-away for nearly two years. And it was during those two years that the pulling-back, turning-away, closing-off, shutting-down, and so on, began to occur more and more (much to her mystification as her sexuality had been rampant).

What first came out, during an intense conversation some twenty or so months later, was how she had seen that were she to further explore sexuality and intimacy via sexual congress with me she would surely go insane ... literally (as in a lock-up psychiatric ward).

Yet underneath or behind that very real fear lay a fear so vast it can best be called dread (the remembrance of the ‘going insane’ fear gave access to what it was concealing or covering-up). Some three months or so later the final truth emerged: the sex was so wonderful, on that occasion upriver, it was frightening ... and frightening to the nth degree.

For here all is immaculate perfection.

Regards, Richard.

November 16 2009

Re: Peculiar Information # 5

RICHARD: [...] my third wife initially set out to explore her ‘wild side’ (to use the jargon) as she was most appreciative of being with a man with no limits – no limiting fear – in regards the vast extent, and a near-insatiability at times, of female sexuality.

RESPONDENT: Yes. That is what most women will look forward to.

RICHARD: Aye, yet when that opportunity is freely accessible – as an ever-available living actuality – all manner of weird behaviour can take place (to the point of utter bizarrerie).

RESPONDENT: However, I think, I am beginning to understand pulling back/ turning away: it is like crossing a rubicon, an experience of it can be physically felt as an empty space/ throbbing right under the belly (the uterus contracting). But of course, the person in question may be able to corroborate on this much more.

RICHARD: Of course (she is currently out-of-country at the death-bed of someone, in the final stages of a terminal illness, whom she has known all her life).

But you are correct – it is indeed like crossing ‘a boundary, a limit; esp. one which once crossed betokens irrevocable commitment; a point of no return’ (Oxford Dictionary) – and it is only upon such a crossing that the actualism process, as distinct from the actualism method, can start whereupon an inevitability thus set in motion begins to gather a momentum all of its own accord.

Then one is on the ride of a lifetime!

*

RICHARD: Now, obviously I am not going to go into details as my reports are circumscribed by the fact that the persons concerned are both both readily identifiable and still alive (I have no such constraints when talking about just myself) but as the subject is of primary importance – man-woman sexuality and intimacy is the genesis of family and thus the very core of civilisation itself – there is too much at stake for me to take my unique insight to the grave/ pyre/ whatever.

RESPONDENT: Thank you.

RICHARD: As I finally received a long-expected phone call yesterday advising me of the death of my second wife (de jure), from a terminal illness first diagnosed in February this year, my reports will no longer have to be quite so circumscribed in regards her interactions with me.

The underlying cause of her packing her bags and moving out of her marital home forever, some thirteen years ago now, is none other than the same utter imminence, of what is ever-immanent, invoking a fear so vast as to best be called dread.

In her case it took the form of what she called ‘stage fright’ at the time, upon seeing her readily identifiable words in print in ‘Richard’s Journal’ (which was then titled ‘The Actualism Journal’) and her name in pixels on ‘The Third Alternative’ website, which in turn led to her choosing to fall in love, with a man she could never have, only six weeks later.

(To fall in love is not something which just happens involuntarily; the feelings of love are aroused by the presence of the potential lover and it is a choice made deep-down, at the core of one’s being, to either go with the powerful passions engendered, and thus become and be that very passion, or not).

As the love she was remained unrequited it transmogrified itself into Love Agapé – only she called it Matriarchal Love (as in superior to Patriarchal Love in her eyes) – via sublimation and transcendence and she thus became That/ was That ... to wit: The Goddess all humankind had been expecting.

*

I have written about what can happen, regarding that fear so vast as to best be called dread, some years ago. Vis.:

• [Richard]: A deep feeling of dread, the abject intuition of impending doom, is fraught with foreboding, be it a grim, dire, or awful presage, and this intensely apprehensive trepidation is symptomatic of the existential angst (the anguish of the essential insecurity of being a contingent ‘being’) which underpins all suffering.

As such an occasion of profound dread is an opportune moment to plumb the depths of ‘being’ itself (‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being) rather than avoidance through realisation of the portentous event as all manner of phantasmagoria can be manifested by such evasion.

With pure intent one can enable a movement into the existential angst, rather than despairingly grasping at doomsday straws, which movement facilitates the bright light of awareness being shone into the innermost recesses of ‘my’ presence ... which is ‘presence’ itself.

Such an active perspicacity in ‘my’ moment of reckoning will reveal that ‘presence’ itself feeds off ‘my’ fear – it is its very life-blood as it were – and this functional acuity brings an abrupt end to its nourishment.

Whereupon all-of-a-sudden one finds oneself on the other side of the wall (to keep with the ‘cornered’ analogy for now) with the hitherto unseeable doorway to freedom closing behind one and one is walking freely in this actual world where one has already always been living anyway.

All what happened was that upon ‘my’ exposure dissolution occurred and the Land of Lament sank without a trace. List B, No.39b, 21 Nov 2002

In short: what happened was that the existential angst of discovering how one is nothing but a contingent ‘being’, and how one will cease to ‘be’ unless one of several doomsday straws be grasped, resulted in the redemptive straw being grasped so firmly as to bring about an ASC (which waxed and waned in intensity) which endured for more than just a few weeks.

(Hence her abrupt about-face, as made into public knowledge in both ‘Richard’s Journal’ and on The Actual Freedom Trust website, and her out-of-character blackguarding of actualism and bad-mouthing of me).

*

RICHARD: To explain: I have had three wives – with each marriage spanning more than a decade – as three different persons (a normal person, a mystical person and a freed person). In my first marriage I was both a normal person (at first masculinist then later feministic) and a spiritually enlightened/ mystically awakened person. In my second marriage I was first an enlightened/ awakened person then later an actually freed person. My third marriage was solely as a person actually free from the human condition. Hence me being well-placed to know what nobody else can know.

Plus, in the five celibate years between my first and second marriages, I was the single parent of young daughters (at first two girls then later one girl) and gained much understanding at that grass-roots level.

RESPONDENT: Your understanding of women is remarkable and let me admit that my initial reading from AF website (from April 2008-June 2008) did lead me to think of some of your writings as ‘male’ experiences. However, when I finally shed every bit of my inhibition about AF (April 2009) I began to see that AF is about human beings and life and not male/ female/ animal.

RICHARD: I appreciate you putting that into words as it is for reasons such as this I have often said I would prefer that the second person to become actually free from the human condition be a woman.

Hence my undivided attention on the women in my life – which is not just bonking my brains out, in a mud-brick hut in the hills, as a notorious poster once put it (I actually live in an aluminium cabin at sea-level) – because, as I have already written further below, where the women go, there go men too ... eventually.

*

RICHARD: Also many women during that period – at least a score if not more – most insistently proposed, via blatant sexuality, either a ménage a deux or a ménage a trois. (Love Agapé is the most potent aphrodisiac ever to be invented). Lastly, as a boy I only had girls as playmates (all the children in the near neighbourhood, in the remote farming community where I was born and raised, were female) and all through my life I have always preferred female company ... to the point of much mocking and ridicule for being thus considered effeminate (to use a more polite word).

Most importantly: I like women – they are simply marvellous creatures when at their best – and, being such victims of their own emotions and passions, are both ripe for and deserving of liberation. Especially so as, where the women go, there go men too (eventually).

RESPONDENT: That is one special aspect of AF and ought to shed all doubts about it – it is as much available to women and men. In fact, stripping of male/ female identity and instinctual passions will bring to end many of the troubles of humanity.

RICHARD: Here in this actual world there is simply no way that a male flesh and blood body can identify as a ‘man’ (with all what is implied in that), and equally so for a female flesh and blood body in regards to identification as a ‘woman’ (with all what is implied in that), as identification itself has no existence in actuality.

I just happen to be born male; had I been born female all these reports/ descriptions/ explanations would, presumably, had initially led you to think (from April 2008 to June 2008) of some of my writings as ‘female’ experience.

*

RICHARD: <snip> Curiously enough, in the end it was her very own fear (of female sexuality) which set the limits.

RESPONDENT: Interesting. I am curious about the use of the expression ‘fear (of female sexuality)’ – because being with a man without any limits – as in limiting fear as you put it above, is liberating from the fear that female sexual identity suffers videlicet body image, self-esteem, social/ cultural/ moral conditioning induced guilt and shame of being wild etc.

RICHARD: My third wife was already liberated from the social/ cultural moral conditionings (such as induced guilt and shame and so on) when she set out to explore her ‘wild side’ ... she was most uninhibited in that respect. What emerged, of course, was her ‘dark side’ (hence my ‘fear of female sexuality’ phrasing when characterising what eventually set the limits).

Yet behind or beyond even that lay a much greater fear (giving rise to even greater weird and bizarre behaviour). As it is of such importance I obtained her permission to speak about it (she is currently out of the country for an indefinite period). One fine weekend some time ago we went on a boat-trip upriver; we were at anchor in a semi-remote spot and something happened to her, whilst having sex, which she unknowingly locked-away for nearly two years. And it was during those two years that the pulling-back, turning-away, closing-off, shutting-down, and so on, began to occur more and more (much to her mystification as her sexuality had been rampant).

What first came out, during an intense conversation some twenty or so months later, was how she had seen that were she to further explore sexuality and intimacy via sexual congress with me she would surely go insane ... literally (as in a lock-up psychiatric ward). Yet underneath or behind that very real fear lay a fear so vast it can best be called dread (the remembrance of the ‘going insane’ fear gave access to what it was concealing or covering-up). Some three months or so later the final truth emerged: the sex was so wonderful, on that occasion upriver, it was frightening ... and frightening to the nth degree.

For here all is immaculate perfection.

RESPONDENT: I have been rendered wordless since I read this. It is utterly and completely incomprehensible to me that such a turning away and shutting down can happen, having tasted the immaculate perfection.

RICHARD: It is the very imminence, of immaculate perfection being the irrevocable actuality, which occasions the pulling-back, turning-away, closing-off, shutting-down, and so on, as only extinction lies ahead. (The way in which a PCE comes about is quite different to how an actual freedom happens: the former occurring via abeyance, of identity in toto/ the entire affective faculty, and the latter via extinction of same).

Indeed, on many an occasion all those years ago (1981) the identity then inhabiting this flesh and blood body pulled-back in alarum, upon the intensity of pleasure reaching such an ever-spiralling momentum as to be mounting exponentially, only to later on chide himself (when back to normal) for not having the intestinal fortitude to have proceeded whilst the vital opportunity was presenting itself.

Put succinctly: this which has been my everyday experiencing for all of seventeen years now – so easily experienceable in a blithe and carefree manner – was discerned back then as being of such a magnitude of intensity that nobody could possibly live that, as an on-going and irrevocable permanency, for more than five-ten minutes at the most ... whereupon physical death must surely happen.

(Please remember that abeyance is not extinction; then it might become more clear and less incomprehensible).

RESPONDENT: ‘Going insane’ is something I understand and very well applies to, let’s say, someone like me (for I am still working on my female identity, even when I have stripped moral/ cultural conditioning). However, turning away at the brink of such freedom means much more lies ahead.

RICHARD: As what the much more which lies ahead, at that moment of imminence, is extinction, then all an identity can do, in the end, is procrastinate.

RESPONDENT: Thank you for this dialogue, it has provided me further opportunities to explore.

RICHARD: You are very welcome ... so much so that a re-quote of what I have re-quoted many a time may very well be of some benefit to others this time around. Vis.:

• [Richard]: ‘How you conduct your correspondence is entirely up to you, of course, and all I can do is point out that what you choose to write is what determines the response you receive (...)’. Actual Freedom Mailing List, No. 56c, 14 Jan 2005

Regards, Richard.

December 14 2009

Re: The Floating Convivium Project

[Richard]: As the mailing list format had reached its use-by date more than a few years ago (having out-lived its usefulness), and as already signalled, it is more than likely that the personal way of knowing about me will become available, albeit selectively, some time in the new year; although it is way too early to publicly say more, at this stage, plans are afoot (subject to the funding being finalised) to not only facilitate this direct access but enable an informal interaction with several other actualists as well.

RICHARD: As I have just had a pleasant day engaged in a very fruitful discussion with The-Lady-Who-Had-The-Five-Month-PCE and The-Spouse-Of-The-Lady-Who-Had-The-Five-Month-PCE – henceforth known as Pamela and Tom – this is an apt moment to publicly say a little more about the abovementioned plans as Tom has today confirmed (dependent upon the funding being available) his intention of making them happen sooner rather than later.

In doing so he becomes an actualist benefactor.

Over the years the directors of The Actual Freedom Trust have expended tens of thousands of scarce dollars of their own moneys (plus tens of thousands of unpaid hours) to create, maintain, and provide the millions of words available for free on the internet as a philanthropic contribution to the advancement of human knowledge, experience and thus civilisation itself.

Tom’s contribution involves hundreds of thousands of dollars.

*

To explain: although I had declined each and every personal-meeting request for twelve years, for a number of reasons, I was not oblivious to the fact how the persons concerned might benefit, in whatever way it may be for them individually, from personally interacting (rather than just by either the written or spoken words in pixels/ print or video format). There were, quite obviously, several factors to take into account if such interactions to occur:

1. I have never been keen on either formal meetings or scheduled appointments.

2. Given the costs involved in somebody taking time off work and travelling, say, halfway around the world and back then a single meeting comprising of, say, an hour or two might be too little for too much.

3. A series of meetings would, of necessity, involve securing accommodation, food and beverages over that extended period.

4. It is common practice for peoples to annually take a vacation.

As it had become increasingly apparent to all the directors of The Actual Freedom Trust how it would be benefactive, for those appreciative of having their actualism practice intensified by physical proximity, it was deemed eminently sensible to make available a venue wherein it would be possible to interact for a prearranged period, on a daily basis and as a part of everyday life, with not only myself but other actualists as well (with fellow travellers). The reasons for considering such a course of events arose out of the following:

1. As I was no longer engaged in sharing my discovery with my fellow human being via a keyboard my days were now fully available to do something else with.

2. I had been contemplating a lifestyle change, since turning sixty, which involved relocating to the coral reefs, tropical islands and turquoise lagoons off the north-eastern seaboard of Australia.

3. As my third wife had been the sole beneficiary of interacting with me on a daily basis, over the last decade, it became quite pointedly apparent that this exclusivity was effectively denying my other fellow human beings of the advantage which live-in or daily-living company brings.

4. My select associates had expressed an abiding interest in both the unique opportunity of a more intimate acquaintance as well as the idyllic lifestyle change to those paradisiacal environs ... complete with an affective vibe- and psychic current-free ambience such as to be conducive to the generation or maintenance of a felicitous and innocuous out-from-control/ different-way-of-being atmosphere so as to foster a happy and harmless milieu.

Accordingly, plans were set afoot to someday sell-up all our individual assets and collectively purchase, build, or have custom-built, an ocean-going vessel of suitable dimensions and capacity whereon the aforementioned holiday accommodation, food and beverages could be obtained via an informal reciprocal gifting arrangement comparable to what it would commercially cost a vacationer anyway.

(Please note that no additional monetary outlay was countenanced – not even that well-nigh ubiquitous ‘donation’ incumbent upon those guru-circuit peoples – as the equivalent-to-commercial vacation-style exchange would be sufficient unto itself).

Consequently, utilising my knowledge and experience of ships, yachts and boating in general plus Peter’s expertise and skill as an architect and builder of houses, we eventually had the fully detailed plans of a 70-foot ship (an alloy catamaran) in the final stages of being readied for submission to a registered naval architect for official certification ... plus a professional ship-yard had been located nearby where the boat-builder himself has expressed how both the design-style and the fully-detailed plans were an attractive proposition.

However, as our combined assets sale would (at best) provide for around 20% of the total cost the plan languished ... until today.

Tom has declared his intention to fund the entire project.

*

A new sub-domain website is in the process of being set up so as to provide more information (specifications, detailed drawings, computer-generated 3D images, and the such-like) of both the ship itself and the project in general.

As the ship (the MS Actualis) will serve as a residence as well as a venue, with the potential to travel virtually anywhere in the world if need be, it was apposite to call it ‘The Floating Convivium Project’ (from the Latin for ‘feast’ as in the enjoyment of jovial banquets and good company; the quality of being convivial; the relishing of festivity and so on).

There is more to both an actual and a virtual freedom from the human condition than nuclear couples living in separate homes; the overall aim is to provide the genesis of peoples living peacefully and harmoniously together on a community-wide basis.

I just happen to particularly like the boating life-style.

RESPONDENT: Thank you Richard and also Tom, Peter and other associates in the project.

It amazes me to learn that in past few weeks I have had thought of such a setting (as i still indulge in such fancy dreams, hence my suggestions on an actualist convention as well). This sounds better than best.

RICHARD: G’day No. 6, Yes, I noticed you first mentioned an actualist convention back in October – although you were more inclined towards a song, a dance and a word with the master debater [No. 7] then – and it would appear that your thoughts took a more exotic turn thereafter. Maybe sucking a whole mall of oranges had its effect, eh?

As for indulging in fancy dreams: I reached back into those of my youth for this one – tropical isles, turquoise lagoons, coral sands, swaying palms and all the rest – and found it could be easily resurrected for the purpose of an intimate acquaintance with my fellow human beings.

And speaking of youthful dreams it is appropriate to mention how, around the time of puberty onwards, adolescents become increasingly serious and childhood fun gives way to societally-inculcated obligations and responsibility. As these are embedded into an instinctually affective programme (I have seen many a frisky lamb turn into a sedate sheep, and frolicsome calves into sombre cattle, as maturity takes its toll) they turn into having the appearance of being innate ... when they are not.

Life here in this actual world – the world of sensuous delight – is akin to being a child again but with the undeniable advantage of adult sensibilities; when the occasion calls for it I can adopt a suitably solemn expression, nod sagely as appropriate, and get away with being just a big kid having a ball in the otherwise grim and glum land of the grown-ups; indeed, I can even tell them how much fun I am having – that I am just a big kid – and yet they are so serious they assume me to be making some kind of obscure or idiosyncratic joke.

*

Anyway, what I am finally succeeding in doing is seducing some of my fellow humans – those who have not lost the plot totally – to come out and play, now, as we are all but a missed heartbeat or two away from physical death each day again. Being retired, with more than sufficient means for the rest of my life, is nowadays to my advantage, of course, yet there is simply no reason at all why gainful employment need be anything other than fun.

For instance, all my best work (back when supporting both a wife and a family) always happened when I was having the most fun; in fact I have some very blurry black and white ‘home movie’ type footage of myself, circa March 1981, which ends with ‘me’ saying: ‘Do your own thing ... but have fun; if you’re not having fun then, hell, stop doing it, something is wrong; if you’re not having fun, if you have to force yourself to go to work, if you’re unhappy, something is wrong’. Within weeks ‘he’ was carted off to a hospital emergency care unit in a catatonic state and ... and here we are today having this illuminating chat about our fancy dreams.

Who else can be enticed to come out and play – to join me here in this actual world – and live life where all is fun yet where everything which needs to be done does get done (albeit playfully) because of those oh-so-vital adult sensibilities?

‘Tis yours for the asking, so to speak, as no one is stopping you but yourself; no time is the right time to make it all happen as the right time only comes about when you have it happen; it is not a case of being ready for it as being ready only occurs when you have it occur; all you get by waiting is more waiting as now is the moment where it all happens; everything which happens only ever happens now.

Actuality is where more than your fancy dreams can come true – much, much more – as life itself, here, is beyond even any of your most absolutely wild fantasies.

This is what is actually better than best.

Regards, Richard.

December 14 2009

Re: The Floating Convivium Project

RESPONDENT: [...] Greetings, Richard

RICHARD: I noticed you first mentioned an actualist convention back in October – although you were more inclined towards a song, a dance and a word with the master debater [No. 7] then – and it would appear that your thoughts took a more exotic turn thereafter. Maybe sucking a whole mall of oranges had its effect, eh?

RESPONDENT: having experimented with Bolero, Tango, Waltz, Jazz, Solo Ballet (which i enjoy the most, btw) i thought I could try a bit of Charleston with No. 7 (as it is also a out-of-gender boundary-kind-of-dance and congealed with my perception of his writing style which conveyed a sense of humour – so I thought i could try a step or two with sense of humour rather than the identity ‘No. 7’).

RICHARD: As for indulging in fancy dreams: I reached back into those of my youth for this one – tropical isles, turquoise lagoons, coral sands, swaying palms and all the rest – and found it could be easily resurrected for the purpose of an intimate acquaintance with my fellow human beings. And speaking of youthful dreams it is appropriate to mention how, around the time of puberty onwards, adolescents become increasingly serious and childhood fun gives way to societally-inculcated obligations and responsibility. As these are embedded into an instinctually affective programme (I have seen many a frisky lamb turn into a sedate sheep, and frolicsome calves into sombre cattle, as maturity takes its toll) they turn into having the appearance of being innate ... when they are not.

RESPONDENT: correct and i understand it completely.

RICHARD: Life here in this actual world – the world of sensuous delight – is akin to being a child again but with the undeniable advantage of adult sensibilities; when the occasion calls for it I can adopt a suitably solemn expression, nod sagely as appropriate, and get away with being just a big kid having a ball in the otherwise grim and glum land of the grown-ups; indeed, I can even tell them how much fun I am having – that I am just a big kid – and yet they are so serious they assume me to be making some kind of obscure or idiosyncratic joke.

RESPONDENT: and it is such a delight that the actual world is not a world of fantastical escape or imagined Xanadu but an actual world, here and now. I can only gasp in wonder at the luminescence it has even when I have only progressed to EEs.

RICHARD: Anyway, what I am finally succeeding in doing is seducing some of my fellow humans – those who have not lost the plot totally – to come out and play, now, as we are all but a missed heartbeat or two away from physical death each day again. Being retired, with more than sufficient means for the rest of my life, is nowadays to my advantage, of course, yet there is simply no reason at all why gainful employment need be anything other than fun.

For instance, all my best work (back when supporting both a wife and a family) always happened when I was having the most fun; in fact I have some very blurry black and white ‘home movie’ type footage of myself, circa March 1981, which ends with ‘me’ saying: ‘Do your own thing ... but have fun; if you’re not having fun then, hell, stop doing it, something is wrong; if you’re not having fun, if you have to force yourself to go to work, if you’re unhappy, something is wrong’. Within weeks ‘he’ was carted off to a hospital emergency care unit in a catatonic state and ... and here we are today having this illuminating chat about our fancy dreams.

RESPONDENT: this is music to my ears. It confirms so many thoughts and helped clear up the little remainder of ambivalence about the gainful employment/ work. In my early days of Actual Freedom (because of partial readings and misguidings and my own foggy mind) I had wrongful notions that the fun and enjoyment i experienced in my work and pursuit of other interests was at cross purpose with freedom. After my marvellous experience in April 2009 , when i decided to take a full dive in pursuit of AF, it became clear to me that my enjoyment of work will facilitate my pursuit and pursuit will inform my work , in return. I had remnants of certain social ambitions still and fears of being ‘left out’ which I have whittled away now and look forward to progress and pursuit. And it works so well that my productivity in work has also improved.

RICHARD: Who else can be enticed to come out and play – to join me here in this actual world – and live life where all is fun yet where everything which needs to be done does get done (albeit playfully) because of those oh-so-vital adult sensibilities? ‘Tis yours for the asking, so to speak, as no one is stopping you but yourself; no time is the right time to make it all happen as the right time only comes about when you have it happen; it is not a case of being ready for it as being ready only occurs when you have it occur; all you get by waiting is more waiting as now is the moment where it all happens; everything which happens only ever happens now. Actuality is where more than your fancy dreams can come true – much, much more – as life itself, here, is beyond even any of your most absolutely wild fantasies. This is what is actually better than best.

RESPONDENT: delicious and so it is here and now. thank you and appreciate your response.

PS: No. 7, No. 4 – Richard is much better and beyond than merely perceptive. He can read people like an open book, while many of us (human conditioned) merely rehearse our lines and speeches.

RICHARD: G’day No. 6, Ha ... given you say I can read people like an open book I can only presume you also, of course, include yourself.

I am responding here, rather than in-line as is my wont, so as to cut to the chase and extend an open invitation for a personal meeting ... and by ‘open’ I mean (as in a blank cheque) not only a date which suits you but a duration of your choosing.

Not only did your openness in expressing yourself so frankly pique my personal interest but the fact that your outstanding post on May 07 this year No. 5195 turned the focus onto what I was actually saying and doing is what first made me sit up and take notice – plus, of course, your follow-up post No. 5269 – and thus appreciate your ability to grasp the obvious (No. 5388).

(Up until then I had read all the emails you had posted, since subscribing, with my normal interest in my fellow human beings).

*

Let me know publicly if you are agreeable ... then the details of where and when and how can take place privately.

Regards, Richard.

Continued on Direct Route: No. 1

Continued from Direct Route: No. 1

Re: Richard writes about two types of Actual Freedom

December 19 2011

RESPONDENT (Sock-Puppet ‘SA’): (...) Okay, I want to be free and will like to set up a meeting with an AF person. Is there is way to do that?

RICHARD: G’day No. 6,

Yes, there is indeed a way to do that: simply take fresh advantage of my public invitation to you, on this very forum (made on Monday, Dec 14, 2009), for a personal meeting and fly to Australia at a date of your choosing. Vis.: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/actualfreedom/message/8218

After all it was, and still is of course, an ‘open invitation’ (as in a blank cheque) for you to come to Australia ... here is the relevant portion of my post to you at that above URL:

• [Respondent No. 6]: (...). Richard is much better and beyond than merely perceptive. He can read people like an open book, while many of us (human conditioned) merely rehearse our lines and speeches.

• [Richard]: Ha ... given you say I can read people like an open book I can only presume you also, of course, include yourself.

I am responding here, rather than in-line as is my wont, so as to cut to the chase and extend an open invitation for a personal meeting ... and by ‘open’ I mean (as in a blank cheque) not only a date which suits you but a duration of your choosing.

Not only did your openness in expressing yourself so frankly pique my personal interest but the fact that your outstanding post on May 07 this year No. 5195 turned the focus onto what I was actually saying and doing is what first made me sit up and take notice – plus, of course, your follow-up post No. 5269 – and thus appreciate your ability to grasp the obvious (No. 5388).

(Up until then I had read all the emails you had posted, since subscribing, with my normal interest in my fellow human beings).

Let me know publicly if you are agreeable ... then the details of where and when and how can take place privately. (Mon Dec 14, 2009 12:41 pm).

Your response, to that open invitation of mine, is to be found here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/actualfreedom/message/8220.

And here is the relevant portion of your post to me at that above URL:

• [Richard]: Let me know publicly if you are agreeable ... then the details of where and when and how can take place privately.
Regards, Richard.

• [Respondent No. 6]: Thank you for the invitation, I look forward to meeting you.
best regards [No. 6].
(Mon Dec 14, 2009 1:45 pm).

Given that you say ‘I want to be free and will like to set up a meeting’ I am going to make it clear up-front that there is no guarantee being made here – be it either expressed or implied – other than to say that, when the conditions are ripe, magic happens.

For instance, a couple of months ago a person of Indian birth and upbringing flew into Coolangatta Airport late one night on a prearranged agreement to meet in person so as to talk about her life and to gain clarity in her life-style/ her livelihood situation.

Less than 24 hours after landing she was actually free of blind nature’s instinctual passions/the feeling-being formed thereof.

In other words, the person who landed at the airport (that feeling being who needed to gain clarity in her life-style/ her livelihood situation) vanished without a trace, in a matter of seconds, the following afternoon.

She is now living the ‘peace-on-earth’ actual freedom (as per the reports on The Actual Freedom Trust website) which will, after a suitable transitional period of acclimatisation and accommodation and accustomisation (which period took 30+ months for me all those years ago), presumably also segue into the ‘meaning-of-life’ actual freedom (as per the reports on The Actual Freedom Trust website), and which is known colloquially as the ‘magical wonderland’ (a fairy tale-like pristine paradise where peerless purity abounds), given the requisite pure intent, of course.

On the other hand, for example, a person of Australasian birth and upbringing flew into Ballina Airport a couple of weeks later on a prearranged agreement to meet in person so as to talk about the distinction between altered states of consciousness (ASC’s) and pure consciousness experiences (PCE’s) plus many and various matters associated with her life/her lifestyle after motherhood.

A little over 24 hours after landing she was free of ever being serious again – she said it was a permanent shift – inasmuch around the time of puberty onwards, just like all adolescents, she had become increasingly serious and childhood fun had given way to those societally-inculcated responsibilities and obligations which are embedded, via affective vibes and psychic currents, into the instinctually affective programme all sentient beings are genetically endowed with (I have seen many a frisky lamb turn into a sedate sheep, and frolicsome calves into sombre cattle, as maturity takes its toll).

In other words, the person who landed at the airport (that so-called ‘mature adult’ who wanted to gain clarity in regards ASC’s/PCE’s and life after parentage) vanished without a trace, in a matter of seconds, the following evening.

She is now living, as a feeling-being still, in a way which is akin to being a child again – but with the undeniable advantage of adult sensibilities – and is currently finding out how to get away with being as a big kid having a ball, in the otherwise grim and glum land of the grown-ups, in preparation for a return visit early in the new year.

*

Let me know publicly if you are agreeable ... then the details of when and how can take place privately. There is a wide range of holiday accommodation in this area – hotels, motels, hostels, and so forth – and details like that, any and all, are simply a case of making the appropriate arrangements.

This is all such fun!

Regards, Richard.

P.S.: On the off-chance you have concerns about being on your own, in a foreign land and meeting with persons you evidently still have some questions about, by all means bring a travelling companion, a trusted friend, a confidante perhaps, with you – someone like [Respondent No. 2] for instance – so as to set your mind at rest, in advance, about any such otherwise undue matters.

June 7 2013

Re: Richard, to be fair..

RICHARD to Andrew: [...]. (Incidentally, note how he begins it all with his ‘I was there when it happened’ stamp of eye-witness authenticity even though ‘February 2010’ is *not* November/ December 2009).

RESPONDENT No. 4: You keep repeating this ‘I was there when it happened’ line, taking it out of its immediate context, and juxtaposing it alongside something else entirely, to make it look like I was claiming to be present at something I couldn’t have been present at. Here’s the original context:

[No. 6 Sockpuppet ‘W’]: not sure if that is the reason that Tom withdrew the sponsorship for the ship

[No. 4]: I was there when it happened. Tom told me his reasons.

***********************

So, not for the first time, you’ve deleted the very words which supplied the immediate context, and you’ve juxtaposed those words alongside something else, implying that I’d claimed to be present at a completely different event, when I had done no such thing.

RICHARD: G’day No. 4, The reason why I keep repeating that [...snip...].

RESPONDENT (Sock-Puppet ‘MJ’): Richard who is this addressed to, mate.

RICHARD: G’day ... um ... Mate, It is addressed to the person who writes to this forum as various personae ... the latest (since May 9, 2013) was a ‘[persona W.P]’.

Prior to that (from Dec 11, 2012, to May 9, 2013) he acted out a tamer persona, using the email account ‘[persona xxx]’.

He also adopted a parodical persona with the email account ‘ripeeto‘ (from Sep 6, 2007 to Apr 3, 2009)

RESPONDENT (Sock-Puppet ‘MJ’): No. 4 [W.P.] is gone.

RICHARD: Do you mean the word gone as in ‘Gone Troppo’ or do you mean it as in ‘Elvis has left the building’?

If it be the latter then it is ‘[persona W.P.]’ who is gone but ‘[persona xxx]’ was still subscribed as a list-member when I posted the above.

RESPONDENT (Sock-Puppet ‘MJ’): It was you who revealed his name on this forum, right?

RICHARD: Wrong. The person who writes to this forum as those various personae was signing off with that particular name in October, 2009.

He has also signed off as four of his personae at the same time (in his first post on that Dec 11, 2012, date already mentioned further above):

Vis.:

#11927
From: ‘[No. 4 (persona xxx)]’
Date: Tue Dec 11, 2012 7:44 am
Subject: On Influencing People

I hereby withdraw everything I’ve ever written about ‘an actual freedom from the human condition’ and everyone associated with it.
Moreover, I undertake to say no more about either ‘an actual freedom from the human condition’ either in private or in public, unless it be to defend a charge of libel, slander or what-not in court.
My own private views about ‘an actual freedom from the human condition’ remain unchanged, but I no longer wish to have any part in discussing it in the public forum, not even to defend what I’ve already written. Therefore, I withdraw it in full, unconditionally.
[No. 4] / John / [No. 4 persona W.P.] / Ripeeto

Incidentally, the above post was deleted 21 minutes later to make way for what could be characterised as a ‘Clayton’s Withdrawal’ (as per a 1970’s ‘the drink you have when you’re not having a drink’ marketing campaign). Vis.:

#11928
From: ‘[No. 4 (persona xxx)]’
Date: Tue Dec 11, 2012 8:06 am
Subject: On Influencing People

I hereby unconditionally withdraw everything I’ve ever written about ‘an actual freedom from the human condition’ and everyone associated with it.
[No. 4]

And I say a ‘Clayton’s Withdrawal’ as his postings over the past few days – stemming from me taking his above words at face value in a very simple clarificatory post (#13652) – show how little he has really withdrawn.

RESPONDENT (Sock-Puppet ‘MJ’): I sense that you and him have something personal going on that we are not aware of.

RICHARD: As there is nothing personal whatsoever going on, on my part, then what you [quote] ‘sense’ [endquote] is deceiving you; also, were there to indeed be something personal going on, on the part of the other party, then it would be something personal in regards his phantom ‘Richard’ of passionate imagination and, as such, has nowt to do with this flesh-and-blood body tapping away at this keyboard.

RESPONDENT (Sock-Puppet ‘MJ’): It sucks, big time.

RICHARD: There is no point in addressing your plaint to me; whatever the source of what [quote] ‘sucks, big time’ [endquote] for you is, it has no existence in actuality (i.e.: here in this actual world; the sensate world; the world of the senses).

RESPONDENT (Sock-Puppet ‘MJ’): Keep it cool, you two.

RICHARD: As there is no hot [quote] ‘it’ [endquote] here to have to keep cool your admonishment is wasted upon me.

RESPONDENT (Sock-Puppet ‘MJ’): wink wink

RICHARD: Ha ... a spell in chequer strait a weigh marques fore revue miss steaks witch yew kin knot sea. Vis.:

wank wank

Their, Fick’s tit four ewe.

Regards, Richard.

June 20 2013

Re: Popcorn anyone? :D

RESPONDENT No. 3: Don’t be deluded by this seemingly soooo suggestive header ‘popcorn anyone’ such as to draw the attention of gullible readers, who may be left with the impression that s/he is just merely watching somekind of freak show (aka fun soapy). [...].

RICHARD: Just a quick note as I am still in the process of composing my next post (being of epic proportions, as befits this stage of the melodrama, it is taking a while to collect all the quotes, links, URLs, &c.). [...]

RESPONDENT (Sock-Puppet ‘R’): Why?

RICHARD: G’day Holly, The reason why it is taking a while to collect them all is because they range over several years and, in some cases, from different forums.

RESPONDENT (Sock-Puppet ‘R’): what purpose will it serve?

RICHARD: Oh, it is mainly so that nobody has to take my word for it; besides which, reading another’s own words – suitably attributed and referenced – has more impact than an exegesis.

RESPONDENT (Sock-Puppet ‘R’): instead, participation in how and why narrative gets made up will resolve the issue much more smoothly and accurately.

RICHARD: Well now, that is precisely what I have been doing all along ... and it has largely been by my participation in ‘how and why narrative gets made up’ that these issues have been, and are being, resolved smoothly and accurately.

RESPONDENT (Sock-Puppet ‘R’): why post another long message which will only ‘convince’ people to ‘your’ story or ‘interpretation’ or ‘facts’.

RICHARD: You do seem to be confusing my participation in ‘how and why narrative gets made up’ with what ... um ... what Elvis (No. 4) is doing now he has come back for an encore (i.e. trying to re-establish his narrative via implying that his phantom ‘Richard’ is attempting to wrest control of it from him).

In case that is not clear enough: I neither have a ‘narrative’ nor any interest in some person’s ‘narrative’ – other than to expose it for the crock it always is (by virtue of being a ‘narrative’) – as I am only ever interested in facts and actuality.

RESPONDENT (Sock-Puppet ‘R’): Instead, *dialogue* with your fellow correspondents will be more helpful in arriving at an ‘understanding’, a ‘realization’ and everyone can walk from the discussion table wiser, clearer and indeed happier.

RICHARD: Hmm ... the whole point of my public renewal (in #10532) of that ‘blank cheque’ invitation of Dec 14th 2009 (in #8218), which was itself a public invitation, was for exactly that reason you state there ... namely: dialogue, in-person, at a mutually agreeable location, here in Australia, on a mutually convenient date and time.

(And the only reason I renewed that ‘blank cheque’ invitation publicly was because my private emails extending an invitation to participate in such an in-person meeting, here in Australia on a mutually convenient date and time, remained unanswered, ignored, no matter which email address they were sent to).

And I mention all this because nothing else – nothing other than meeting in-person – will ever do the trick.

Regards, Richard.


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