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(List D refers to Richard’s List D
Vineeto’s Selected Correspondence Humanity
CHRONO: I also had some insight into authority. I’ve been seeing that very clearly that no one has any idea what they are doing in regards to living happily and harmlessly. I had been reading up on social identity and saw that there’s a semblance of peace in the world but not actual peace. No one was acknowledging the root cause of why there has not been any peace in the world. They are doing anything but addressing it (the same as I had been). So there is a widespread insincerity. Everyone is playing pretend and I also had internalized this and pretended like everyone else. By choosing to feel good irregardless of circumstances, I sometimes feel I am standing up to all of Humanity. How dare I feel good while the world suffers (or something like that)? Yet I feel more authentic when I am feeling good than at any other time. It’s the doubt casted by my internalizing of Humanity’s many ways of being that pull me back every time. By choosing to be how Humanity is, I give up being authentic. Now I see all of this is because Humanity has not actually addressed the root cause of there not being any peace. VINEETO: It’s excellent that you more and more recognize the insincerity in ‘humanity’s’ morals and ethics because that will let you it shrug off more easily when you feel that ‘humanity’ is shaking its finger at you. There really is no such thing as humanity, it is a collectively felt phantom – there are only flesh-and-blood human beings (albeit all subject to instinctual passions and the identity formed thereof). As such the feeling that humanity is pulling you back is felt as real (as in you should obey the moral and ethical rules) but it is not actual. “Humanity has not actually addressed the root cause of there not being any peace” because it cannot – only individuals humans can do that – and it is delicious to slip out from under ‘humanity’s’ internalized yoke and devote one’s life to something really worth-while that can result in the perfection of actuality becoming apparent. CHRONO: So I had a unique experience after that. Unique because I had not experienced
something like it before. So seeing as how Humanity does not know what it is doing, were there any real rules? Could
I just become actually free if I wanted to? I had been contemplating this at home and then when I was at work as
well. It was a particularly slow day at work so I just reflected on it more. As I was feeling somewhere between
neutral to good at the time, I thought of this moment and how it has been this moment this whole time. I became aware
of a ‘bigness’ or immensity. Not quite sure of how else to describe it. It grew and it was as if my awareness was
drifting into outer space without any central focus. My normal way of being I’d describe as ‘indolent’ in the
sense of I stayed the same fundamentally. But now I was electrified, invigorated, and exhilarated. It felt like
something was performing surgery in my head. As awareness ‘grew’, I saw all of ‘me’ as a point and felt the
sensation of it at my navel area. It reminded me of the ‘pale blue dot’. Except all of me was this pale blue dot.
I felt all of sorrow and was on the verge of tears but the tears would not come. I’m not quite sure why after that,
but I came back down to earth. I was back to normal and felt kind of frustrated after that. I felt frustrated that I
couldn’t allow it to proceed further. The following days I allowed myself to slip below neutral. Then I once again
gathered sufficient intent to feel good again. […]
VINEETO: To me it sounds like a description of having made a connection with pure intent. The contrast to being normal can be quite overwhelming so your pulling back is a natural reaction. Let this awareness grow again via fascinated attention and reflective contemplation all the way to apperceptive awareness.
What an exciting adventure it is to be on the wide and wondrous path to an actual freedom. I really enjoyed your whole report. Cheers Vineeto
KUBA: Hi Vineeto, KUBA: I experienced this yesterday as the variations of the fear of extinction, or perhaps of abandoning humanity, something like leaving behind all that is known and familiar and setting off into exile, into an unknown land. But the thing is I have experienced these feelings before, it’s not like any of this was new to me, which means I have travelled this 2 way journey before. VINEETO: So then since yesterday I thought that it is this “tether back to base camp” which needs to be examined, because it will never allow me to set off on the genuine one way journey to ‘my’ extinction. So this is what pricked my ears when you wrote :
Sometimes one needs to go round in circles a few times to realize what is happening, and perhaps this time your realisation is sufficiently firm for taking action and do something practical and down-to-earth about it. Upgrading your present situation to pragmatic virtual freedom will give you a new confidence that being increasingly felicitous and innocuous (happy and harmless) is possible to live every day, in every situation – provided you sincerely and honestly leave no stone untouched. It means trying it out in real life what you often may have only rationally or conceptually understood but not yet applied in everyday living. To add another plug for Virtual Freedom, which ‘Peter’ and ‘Vineeto’ lived and documented until the epoch-changing events in 2009/2010, here is how Richard summed it up – [Emphasis added]. Should you actually decide to do take the path to a pragmatic virtual freedom you might find out,
experientially and over time, that your present assessment of “experientially ‘I’ cannot see yet that this
is the best course of action to take, for everybody concerned” KUBA: Richard summarised the experience of that “tether back to base camp” in his journal (article 9) :
Actually this feeling I experienced yesterday it reminded me of
experiences in the past where a relationship would break down, and there would be this deeply sorrowful feeling, that
this person with whom I have been so close for all those years would now disappear never to be met again – this is
the flavour of that ‘tether’. VINEETO: When you look closely and sincerely, “that ‘tether’” is not just one ‘tether’, it is a whole bundle of tethers, and you cannot cut this bundle in one swoop (else you would have done that by now). This is where the pragmatic virtual freedom comes into play, you examine each tether (whenever it interferes with your being happy and harmless every moment of the day), perhaps multiple times until it dissolves for good, by finding it to be another facet of being ‘self’-centric, ‘me’-enhancing. (Please note, being less ‘self’-centric is not putting the other before oneself but having a preference to imitate actuality rather than ‘me’ being the centre of all thoughts and actions.) In this way ‘I’ become thinner and thinner, more felicitous and more gentle, magnanimous, benevolent, kind, tender and naive until ‘self’-centricity disappears altogether. You might find a whole range of aspects of life where you automatically still follow the old paradigm of principles and concepts which now need re-examining, aspects of your social identity and of dreams of sudden redemption. Remember, actual freedom is new, down-to-earth, non-spiritual and actual. If any your many insights have not changed your day-to-day behaviour, towards yourself and others, they still need to be actualised. And there is not even the excuse that ‘self’-immolation is too much of a tall order because this is not required for living a pragmatic still-in-control virtual freedom.
And –
Cheers Vineeto
KUBA: Richard summarised the experience of that “tether back to base camp” in his journal (article 9) :
The additional aspect of this is something like this : That as ‘humanity’ ‘we’ are all huddled around that fire and suffering, and within that intrinsic suffering ‘we’ have made various bonds which would soothe (but never eliminate) the suffering – that is the bond of ‘humanity’, the relationships of the various identities to each other. And from within that bond, it is experienced as a selfish act, to proceed towards this new land and to leave all those ‘others’ still huddling together in the land of lament. I understand intellectually that this is the exact mistake made by buddha, that ‘he’ would not proceed towards extinction until all ‘others’ were saved and as a result ‘humanity’ has persisted and suffering has persisted. VINEETO: Hi Kuba, What you overlooked in your analysis of ‘humanity’ – Abandoning ‘humanity’ means ‘you’ abandon ‘your’ own humanity, which is ‘you’, the identity, who you have previously recognized as being rotten to the core. It means abandoning ‘your’ social identity, which ties you to everyone else’s appraisal, everyone’s praise and criticism, ‘your’ loyalty to kin, country and class, ‘your’ identity as a man, son, husband, employer, member of class, race, club, religio-spiritual and political identity and all the other groups you feel loyalty, connection and/or obligation to. For instance –
Do you now prefer to retain your aggression, your desire (for the sake of the ‘highs’), your fear and nurture, your territoriality, your sense of belonging and, above all, your social identity? You experience, as a member of ‘humanity’, it being selfish to abandon humanity but you don’t even consider looking at it with pure intent, where the purity and perfection of the actual world is plain to see and yours for the taking – for the benefit of your body, that body and everybody. This is what fear does to you – it defends mischief and misery and clouds your mind. KUBA: But it is this unilateral and extreme action which is required which ‘I’ cannot quite accept, that this is the only way out, the way to end the ‘land of lament’ is for the next and then next identity to become extinct. VINEETO: Are you looking for a new “way out” which leaves the identity intact? KUBA: But it is that final and irreversible abandoning of ‘others’ that ‘I’ am not willing to
contemplate. It still seems selfish to ‘me’, how could ‘I’ leave ‘them’ ‘back there’ suffering. VINEETO: What you are really saying is that you rather remain an identity, rotten to the core, than demonstrating by action that it is possible to live totally free from malice and sorrow, blithe and benign for 24hr a day, every day for the rest of your life, for everyone’s encouragement and confirmation that this is possible. What you are also suggesting is to do nothing about all the wars and murders and child abuse, the lies and hypocrisy and treachery arising from the human condition (which is humanity in action) because it is supposedly “selfish to ‘me’”. “Back there” they are suffering already and there is nothing ‘you’ can do about it because you are, as ‘you’ are, still contributing to their suffering. This is what fear does to you, the fear to do something unchartered, unmapped, unprecedented for ‘you’. You forget what you then “deeply and passionately care about” back in March –
It’s ok, it is a natural reaction when you try to break through before you are ready – though
it means that your arguments don’t make sense. It’s too early to even contemplate it, you could go to the
“advanced base camp” first, then “camp 3”. (Uphill Mountaineering Here is a reminder that ‘your’ morality what is ‘selfish’ is hopelessly skewed (being unselfish is not the same as ‘self’-lessness or non-‘self-centric) –
You can also watch the Out-from-Control video where Richard very clearly says to ‘Vineeto’ “it is selfish to stay”. ‘Vineeto’ had tears in her eyes because the sweetness ‘she’ experienced was extraordinary –
Cheers Vineeto
ANDREW: Turns out, ‘I’ pre-date god! The discussion with Vineeto about all the ingredients of god and religion essentially existing before any of the religions or belief systems happened, was both very freeing and fresh, but also surprisingly obviously the case! VINEETO: Hi Andrew, I am pleased it had this effect on you, and your opening line is quite correct – ‘I’ as the identity formed from the swirl of instinctual passions certainly pre-dates god.
ANDREW: So, ‘I’ have had all the aspects of what later were “codified” in religious fear and guilt, love, compassion, sin, etc… long before anyone had imagined the first “handing down” of commandments or any such thing. Even before my favourite “bicameral” people theory, all the passionate energy of ‘who’ I am “really”; blind nature’s rough and ready survival and reproduction “programs”, was there! Fully intact and in full flight! VINEETO: I’ll butt in here before you go on and insert a feeling, and a fresh identity, into this remarkable insight. I suggest to linger a bit longer in this pre-identifying gap, if you can, and allow some further fascinated reflective contemplation regarding the ramifications and consequences of having been able to shed the wrath and grace of god, and ponder how you can enjoy and appreciate this freedom, and if it is worth to do whatever necessary to maintain such enjoyment of freedom.
ANDREW: It’s a remarkably freeing fresh feeling to know this is a fact. I feel it! I feel it in a very direct down-to-earth-way. It’s the same “flavour” as my previous “one with god” illumination years, but without anything between the freshness and the knowing of it. When I have felt this before, it was in the context of new age, “I am god” imaginations et. al. There was that colouring of supernatural power is “around the corner”, and walking on water was inevitable. This is just feeling the fact of ‘being’ ‘myself’. ‘I’ know what I am!’. Me? I know who I am! I am a dude, playing a dude, disguised as another dude! VINEETO: Have you noticed, once you condensed the insight into a feeling and as such into a belief, and then collate it with those feelings of a familiar flavour, similar to previous affective experiences, that the original insight instantly loses its freshness and poignancy? You even conclude (erroneously) “just feeling the fact of ‘being’ ‘myself’. ‘I’ know what I am!’” Now, a feeling can never be a fact as a feeling cannot experience, let alone know, “what I am”. What you are is the flesh-and-blood body only, as experienced when the ‘self’ is temporarily in abeyance. Whereas the feeling “of ‘being’ ‘myself’” is a passionate feeling born of the instinctual passions – and it not only changes according to your fluctuating moods but, as you already discovered, can also be changed by choice for your benefit and the benefit of those around you. Now that you determined (believe) that you are “a dude, playing a dude, disguised as another dude” – what are you going to do with this feeling? Do you want to live like those ‘dudes’ in the video you attached (Yuri Wong “I am a Dude”), driven by passion, or perhaps be inspired by a more happy and friendly way of life? Such as –
Cheers Vineeto
Richard: Speaking personally, in my investigations I first started by examining thought, thoughts and thinking ... then very soon moved on to examining feelings (first the emotions and then the deeper feelings). When I dug down into these passions (into the core of ‘my’ being then into ‘being’ itself) I stumbled across the instincts ... and found the origin of not only the affective faculty but the psyche itself. I found ‘me’ at the core of ‘being’ ... which is the instinctual rudimentary animal self common to all sentient beings (which ‘original face’ is what gives rise to the feeling of ‘oneness’ with all other sentient beings). This is a very ancient genetic memory; being born of the biologically inherited instincts genetically encoded in the germ cells of the spermatozoa and the ova, ‘I’ am – genetically – umpteen tens of thousands of years old ... ‘my’ origins are lost in the mists of pre-history. ‘I’ am so anciently old that ‘I’ may well have always existed ... carried along on the reproductive cell-line, over countless millennia, from generation to generation. And ‘I’ am thus passed on into an inconceivably open-ended and hereditably transmissible future. Hence: ‘I’ am ‘humanity’ and ‘humanity’ is ‘me’. IAN: Hi Vineeto, by this does Richard mean the feeling of being an immortal soul comes from the fact that the germ cells have carried forward from the origin of life? And there is a feeling of endless continuity because of that? VINEETO: Hi Ian, I left in the whole quotes for context and highlighted the part that was in your question. Yes, basically you got it right. I will just point out the difference between what is fact-based and what is feeling-based. What Richard says it that “‘me’ at the core of ‘being’” is genetically
anciently old and hence the feeling one has, the deeper one probes into the core of one’s psyche, that ‘me’
has always existed and will always exist. Therefore, those who probed very deeply into their psyche, ended up
enlightened – until Richard managed in October 1992 to poke a hole into this ‘glass-ceiling’ via ‘self’-immolation
of the psyche itself. I found the history of the dismantling of ‘his’ (aggrandised) psyche a fascinating read. Fact is that “germ cells have carried forward” the instinctual programming. The deep-seated “feeling of endless continuity” is how the individual psyche emotionally interprets/ feels this chain of umpteen of thousands of years old ongoing genetic event (when psychically connecting with all psyches that ever were and ever will be as in a psychic web through space and time, also called the apotheosised field of consciousness). This, of course, is not a fact, but originates in the passionate and imaginary faculty of the soul. As such ‘I’ am psychically connected with all feeling beings as long as ‘I’ (and ‘me’) exist. Hence, ‘I’ am humanity and humanity is ‘me’. Glad to see you chat again. Cheers Vineeto
VINEETO: I’ll butt in here before you go on and insert a feeling, and a fresh identity, into this remarkable insight. I suggest to linger a bit longer in this pre-identifying gap, if you can, and allow some further fascinated reflective contemplation regarding the ramifications and consequences of having been able to shed the wrath and grace of god, and ponder how you can enjoy and appreciate this freedom, and if it is worth to do whatever necessary to maintain such enjoyment of freedom. ANDREW: Indeed, I can heed these words quite willingly. I am very much enjoying some of the ramifications. For one, driven the freeway each morning and night is usually a huge annoyance. However, being as you say, a feeling and not a fact, (I will remember this, very useful and easy to remember). I see other drivers just doing what any person driven by the exact same blind program will do, variations on a theme, and actually amazing that we all get where we are going, the vast majority of time. It was so much easier to see my own anger, and it all be pre-morality. All happening before morality was even a thing, in the modern sense. I felt it is a lightweight manner, as the feeling and the knowledge were immediate. I wasn’t trying to “not be angry”, I was angry, but was not exploding because I was not repressed. It was definitely the beginning of fascination. It was interesting. Feeling myself, watching others. VINEETO: Hi Andrew, Yes, it is generally “morality” incorporated into one’s own identity and the accompanying self-image which stands in the way of acknowledging the feeling which is happening. But once “the feeling and the knowledge were immediate” and you know that this is ‘me’ in action, then it is easy to choose to be in a more pleasant and harmonious manner – voilà, you are instantly more happy and harmless. And thus there is room for fascination and contemplation. Life is amazingly fascinating when ‘I’ don’t insist of having an emotional opinion/ reaction to everything that is happening. That’s why I ‘butted in’ before you proceeded (in the last message) to make “a fresh identity” which would consolidate whatever you feel into a substantial (seriously important) event demanding protection and defence of this freshly created identity. Here it is explained more fully –
Feeling being ‘Vineeto’ never paid much attention to this article, ‘she’ found it too dense, but now I can see how much information it contains for understanding and achieving apperceptiveness right from the beginning. I am reminded of Peter talking about looking from the front of one’s eyeballs.
ANDREW: It seems all so much easier. VINEETO: It is indeed “much easier” and a marvellous way of living naïvely. This is wonderful. Cheers Vineeto
ANDREW: Thanks Vineeto, It’s been great having an experience that can indeed be related back to that article! It was a favourite article back when I first was introduced to Actualism by the Dharma Overground forum. I have had the ongoing feeling that the entire background has changed. Twice, there was an ever so slight shift in perception, just upon realising something fresh with this new knowledge of ‘I’ preceding the entire mess of religion. The sky sort of blinked a slightly different colour today when walking to get some lunch. And also, this morning whilst watching cars “cut in” front of me, there was a definite sense of choice happening and a slight shift in perception. Almost like neither happened, but the feeling was as if ‘I’ could shift altogether out into the world. VINEETO: Hi Andrew, This is excellent and I am pleased you had a different experience to the article than you had years ago when you were still reading it from the DhO-paradigm. Pay attention to that “ever so slight shift in perception” because this is the beginning to your experiential understanding of what actualism is – doing whatever you can to imitate the actual world. And having discovered the “definite sense of choice happening” is your guide to change feeling bad, for whatever reason, into feeling good and enjoying and appreciating being here in this only moment you can experience being alive. Then you can begin to also apply this “sense of choice” to minimise the ‘good feelings’ as well –
ANDREW: The choice to feel good isn’t always obvious though. That seems that I need to sort out some logistics in my life. Practical things in my living space, as they are an ever-present excuse to feel frustrated. VINEETO: When the choice to feel good is not obvious, there may be some good feelings as well as some valued beliefs you don’t want to give up and/or, as you say, some required action in regard to “sort out some logistics in my life” which you might have so far shied away from. In any case, this new “ever so slight shift in perception” which now gives you a “definite sense of choice happening” is an opening to change your life for the better. ANDREW: I will read that Apperception article again. VINEETO: It is a pleasure to read your feedback. It bodes well for imminent beneficial changes for increasing feeling good. Cheers Vineeto
VINEETO: Just out of curiosity, do you recall which particular discovery, i.e. which of the ‘good’ feelings you investigated, happened to be the turning point to allow you live in this world “filled to the brim with magical anhedonic delight”? KUBA: I do remember the turning point where this fully clicked so I will write about this for now. It was during a conversation I had with Sonya (which she agreed for me to post up), I was actually surprised at myself when I said what I said, I discovered it at the same time as the words were said. There was a disagreement, about the fact that I don’t tend to buy Christmas presents or engage in those types of bonding activities. I could see though that the issue for Sonya was far more than the presents themselves. I ascertained immediately that there was a good feeling in there, responsible for the bad that she was experiencing. The issue then became about caring, and whether I care. Some time down the line Sonya mentioned that she cares about us because she cares for our happiness, and yet I could see that the “care for our happiness” was causing her to become upset, something was clearly amiss! That is when it clicked, I saw that in the goal of “our happiness” she had unwittingly allowed nurture/ love to slip into the equation, along with the various expectations, hopes, dreams etc. This is when I said, something to the effect that “can you see that your goal of ”our happiness“ is actually the cause of this current lack of peace and harmony”. Then it was all seen to be back to front, that the pursuit of “our happiness” (good feelings) was actively causing Sonya hurt and actively getting in the way of peace and harmony between us. So this situation was where it all fully clicked, so it was more the outcome rather than the
process. I will see if I can remember more of how this came about because I do remember that even before that –
whilst we were in China – I was already starting to put those things together. VINEETO: Hi Kuba, Thank you for this account. It is amazing how this demonstrated for you, and I guess eventually
for her, that the feeling caring, so highly regarded in the real world, always has strings attached and thus spoils
the genuine care that can/ could happen. Many correspondents over the years have attacked Richard and actualists in
general for ‘not caring’ – some are collected in Flogged Misconceptions No. 2
It took ‘Vineeto’ years to get an inkling of what Richard meant by actual caring. When ‘she’ really, experientially, understood the difference, ‘she’ was deeply shocked.
When you will read both posts to Srinath you can see that he too had difficulties wrapping his mind around the difference between feeling caring and actual / near-actual caring. It is not easy to question, let alone abandon, one of the most highly revered bastions of human civilisation. And there no benefit in just giving up caring unless one starts to experience something far better, as Richard demonstrated in the first quote above. It required the very visceral affective energy for ‘Vineeto’ to arrive at the “action which was not of ‘her’ doing”. KUBA: Hmm it appears it might have been belonging, the apparent safety which inheres in its warmth. But this was only an entry point, because the pivotal thing was seeing the very intuitive concept of ‘the good’ for what it is. Which I see now as something like ‘humanity’s’ dirty secret, because of what underpins it. The PCE sealed the deal because neither the good nor the bad exists where ‘I’ am not. But now it is like I cannot unseen it haha! It is everywhere, it is in every one of ‘my’
dramas and every one of ‘humanity’s’ dramas, the battle between good and evil, danger and safety, hope and
despair etc is what keeps ‘humanity’ alive. It is only by going past / abandoning both the good and the bad that
the immaculate perfection and pristine purity of this moment in time and this place in space becomes apparent. This
last sentence takes some courage to write but it is how I experience it to take place exactly. VINEETO: I appreciate your report. I understand why you call the “concept of ‘the
good’” “‘humanity’s’ dirty secret”, in hindsight – one can only see it when one
is outside of ‘good’ and ‘evil’, and, as you say, one cannot make it unseen now that the veil is removed. It
could have been the beginning of all the domino-pieces starting to fall (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK1VPyx0gXg)
Cheers Vineeto
Freedom from the Human Condition – Happy and Harmless Vineeto’s & Richard’s Text ©The Actual
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