Actual Freedom – The Actual Freedom Mailing List Correspondence

Richard’s Correspondence

On The Actual Freedom Mailing List

with Correspondent No. 60


April 28 2004

RICHARD: ... it did not occur to me it was a concept, and not a fact, that the sun was a giant ball of nuclear fusion until about five years ago.

RESPONDENT: Do you, perchance, know what the sun actually is?

RICHARD: No, virtually the only thing regarding the properties of the universe that is readily apparent here in this actual world is its infinitude ... matters such as what a star/ planet/ moon/ comet is require observation and illation.

What happened was that, whilst browsing the internet in 1998-99 I came across a web-page proposing that the sun was plasma-only (as contrasted to the mainstream science proposition it had a nuclear-fusion interior which generated the surface plasma), and it dawned upon me that I had accepted – as a fact – what I had been taught in high-school last century ... just as earlier generations had accepted as fact the then prevailing wisdom that it was a giant ball of fire (spectral analysis has shown the sun to have no oxygen so it is not that).

Nor is it a god/goddess, of course, but had I been born millennia ago I would (presumably) have accepted that to be fact.

‘Tis quite remarkable just how much is fed-in from an early age.

April 29 2004

RICHARD (to Co-Respondent): The main reason for what you call ‘these tussles’ [misunderstanding of words or phrases] is, when it is *not* cognitive dissonance, feigned ignorance for an ulterior motive ... to wit: to preserve the status-quo. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 41, 28 April 2004a).

RESPONDENT: That is simply not true in my case. When I have been involved in ‘these tussles’, it has not been because of cognitive dissonance, and it has not been out of feigned ignorance for an ulterior motive (to preserve the status quo). It has been to try to understand and make myself understood. Specifically in this instance: I do not have any spiritual beliefs. Why is it that no actualist seems able to understand/ accept this?

RICHARD: First and foremost: this discussion – as was the other discussion – is about what is meant by a word (or phrase) and the misunderstandings which may arise from a particular usage. Viz.:

• [Co-Respondent]: ‘Here’s a bit more on the double bind. Do we see some or several of these invalidations cropping up on this list? Is this why there seems to be so much misunderstanding of words or phrases? (...) (‘Double bind’; Wed 28/04/04).

And here is the word in question:

• [Respondent No 27]: ‘Just what qualifies Mr. Uppaluri Krishnamurti as ‘spiritual’? Possibly you could define exactly what you mean by the word ‘spiritual’? I did look up the word [‘spiritual’] in the actualist glossary and found a few noteworthy statements: (...) [quote] ‘... everyone – and I do mean everyone – has a spiritual outlook on life’ [endquote]. I’m curious what definition of ‘spiritual’ you are working with, Richard. Do you include all of ‘humanity’ as having a ‘spiritual’ outlook on life? So that even if someone says they are a ‘materialist’ or ‘atheist’ – they are actually ‘spiritualists’ in disguise? (‘Re: 'spiritual'’; Tue 30/03/04 AEST).

As far as I can ascertain what you have done, and are still doing, is have the adjective ‘spiritual’ solely refer to a person overtly holding beliefs in the supernatural ... despite numerous e-mails saying this is not what Peter meant when he wrote that glossary entry. For example:

• [Peter to Respondent]: ‘... I very often wrote the word spiritual as spirit-ual in my journal and other early writings *so as to emphasize the association of the words spiritual and spirit*. [emphasis added]. (Actualism, Peter, Actual Freedom List, No. 60d, 7.4.2002).

And:

• [Richard to Co-Respondent]: ‘What Peter realised very early in the piece was that, as long as the flesh and blood body hosted an affective ‘being’, an intuitive ‘presence’ which is the instinctual passions in action, there was no way that anyone – and he means anyone – can actually be non-spiritual ... *even though they do not believe either in a god or truth (by whatever name) or a post-mortem soul or spirit (by whatever name)*. [emphasis added]. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 27h, 2 April 2004).

Perhaps if I were to spell it out: nowhere have I ever said that you believe either in a god or truth (by whatever name) or a post-mortem soul or spirit (by whatever name) ... does that satisfactorily clear up your ‘why is it that no actualist seems able to understand/ accept this’ [that you do not have any spiritual beliefs] query?

*

Last but by no means least: this is a discussion list specifically set-up to provide a forum for peoples interested in what is on offer on The Actual Freedom Trust web site so as to [quote] ‘... facilitate a sharing of experience and understanding and to assist in elucidating just what is entailed in becoming free of the human condition ...’. (The Actual Freedom Trust Homepage).

Here is an example of how I shared my experience and understanding with you, only 13 days ago, so as to assist in elucidating just what is entailed in becoming free of the human condition:

• [Richard to Respondent]: ‘This may be an apt moment to remind you of something I often warn about:

• [Co-Respondent]: ‘As I don’t care to end up like U.G. Krishnamurti, or some other way I realize it’s risky and I need pure intent from the PCE’s to keep it in the right direction.
• [Richard]: ‘Ah, yes ... the only danger on the wide and wondrous path to an actual freedom from the human condition is that one may inadvertently become enlightened along the way. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 50, 5 October 2003).

Has it never occurred to you how come Richard, a reasonably intelligent and well-read person with a tertiary education – and agnostic if not atheistic from early childhood into the bargain – could inadvertently become enlightened along the way to an actual freedom from the human condition? Here is a clue:

• [Richard]: ‘As I was educated in a state-run school I cannot know by personal experience what it is to be receiving an education in a religion-based school ... although as all secular schools are embedded in a society’s religious milieu anyway I can make a fairly good guess that it is but a more extreme version.
It is surprising just how deep a disguised religiosity/ spirituality runs. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 42, 16 February 2003).

Put briefly: I was staggered as to how deep the Judaic/ Christian environment I was raised in was embedded ... to the point that I then realised that humanism was the secular religion, so to speak, that British/ European Colonialism had foisted onto the world at large (via countries like the USA for instance) as it underpins the UN Charter and the UN Declaration of Human Rights.
Breaking free from the tenacious grip of their humanitarian principles was difficult to say the least. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 60b, 16 April 2004).

Or, as Peter put it in the actualism glossary when he shared his experience and understanding so as to assist in elucidating just what is entailed in becoming free of the human condition, it is indeed amazing to discover that everyone – and he does mean everyone – has a spiritual outlook (as in the association of the adjective ‘spiritual’ with the noun ‘spirit’) on life and that the spiritual viewpoint (as in the association of the adjective ‘spiritual’ with the noun ‘spirit’) permeates philosophy, science, medicine, education, psychology, law, and so on.

Put succinctly: ‘me’ as soul/‘me’ as spirit (‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being ... which is ‘being’ itself) cannot help but imbue everything with a ‘self’-centred outlook/viewpoint – as is startlingly evident in a pure consciousness experience (PCE) – which pervasion/ imbuing becomes total in an altered state of consciousness (ASC) ... and that is where it becomes solipsism.

And solipsism is nothing other than narcissism writ large.

May 22 2004

RESPONDENT: I’ll try to give an accurate description of this, but it’s very difficult to convey the quality of it. If you have experienced this, you will probably recognise it at once; if not, I don’t think there is any way of conveying it.

There is an increase in sensory clarity, especially visual acuity. Along with this increase in clarity there is a ‘purity’ in everything one perceives. The words ‘immaculate’, ‘perfect’, ‘pure’ capture it quite well; everything is wonderful. Strangely, though, the word ‘beautiful’ does not apply. There is no (felt) affect whatsoever. The purity of perception (and the marvellousness of what is perceived) goes beyond affect, leaving only pure, calm wonder. It’s sensory delight without any emotional resonance at all. The sensory delight I’m talking about is not the usual kind of sensuousness/ sensuality that one enjoys in an ordinary state. Rather than being ‘pleasurable’, it is appreciation of the perfection that seems to be inherent in what one is perceiving, which leads to enjoyment of a very different kind.

This is quite extraordinary. There is a sensation of softness in the air, which has a pellucid, jelly-like quality (metaphorically speaking). I’m reminded of something you once wrote about the eyes ‘lightly caressing’, as if one is seeing from the front of the eyeball. I also remember you saying ‘nothing dirty can get in’, and that’s exactly the way it is. Objects that would seem drab, dirty, sullied, soiled in ‘reality’ are immaculate in themselves; any ‘dirtiness’ is overlaid by ‘me’. (This is not an intellectual realisation but a direct perception of the fact).

In many ways this is like a PCE. The mode of perception is strikingly similar to a PCE. But when I turn my attention to the writer of this message, something is different but I can’t put my finger on it. I’m not really sure whether ‘I’ am here at all, or whether ‘I’ am only a thought/feeling that briefly intercedes between perceptions and assumes itself to be the agent of this body’s actions. This sounds awkward in words, but there is nothing at all awkward or confusing about what I’m experiencing.

I am not sure that I would call this a ‘self’-less experience because, although there is no affect (none that I recognise, none whatsoever), there is still a sense of agency that could be given the name ‘me’ for convenience. (Am I making any sense? Do you know what I’m talking about?).

RICHARD: Yes ... you may find the following link useful in this regard: (Library, Topics, Excellence).

July 13 2004

RESPONDENT: Richard, when you engage in these discussions do you anticipate the kind of emotional effect your words might elicit and try to avoid provoking malice and sorrow in your correspondent, or do you simply say what you have to say, and leave it up to the reader to deal with any feelings that might arise? Do you ever *intentionally* provoke malice and/or sorrow in your correspondents?

RICHARD: I have located the following passage:

• [Richard]: ‘I have over a decade’s experience of interacting with people replete with feelings and am well aware they can cause them to do all manner of things – up to and including possible and probable homicide – and thus always take into consideration that their rationality can be cast aside in an instant. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 49a, 23 January 2004).

Furthermore, in regards to your comments in another e-mail on this topic, I am incapable of both derision – ‘the action of deriding [laughing contemptuously or scornfully at]; ridicule, mockery’ (Oxford Dictionary) – and mockery – ‘derision, ridicule [subjection to mocking and dismissive language]; a derisive utterance’ (Oxford Dictionary) – nor can I either chide – ‘quarrel or dispute angrily with; give loud and angry expression to dissatisfaction; scold; rail at’ (Oxford Dictionary) – or toy with – ‘deal lightly or frivolously with; trifle, amuse oneself with a person’ (Oxford Dictionary) – my fellow human being as there is no affective faculty in this flesh and blood body.

July 15 2004

RICHARD (recalling an incident in 1981): (....) it is as if the hands know what to do without any input from me; they are reaching for a plate, they are applying the scourer appropriately, they are turning the plate over, they are applying the scourer appropriately, they are lifting the cleaned plate out of the washing sink; they are dipping it into the rinsing sink; they are placing it in the rack to drip ... and all this while they are feeling the delicious tingling sensation of hot soapy water as it strips-away the grease and other detritus. I am not required at all; I am a supernumerary; I am redundant; I can retire, fold in my hand, pack in the game, depart, disappear, dissolve, disintegrate, vamoose, vanish, die – whatever – and life would manage quite well, thank you, without me ... a whole lot better, in fact, as I am holding up the works from functioning smoothly. ‘I’ was not needed ... ‘my’ services were no longer required. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No.71, 15 July 2004).

RESPONDENT: I have noticed this many a time too (that the body operates perfectly well without ‘me’ as overseer) and it bugs me that I don’t know why ‘I’ had to exist in the first place. I wonder if you can help me come to a deeper understanding of this.

RICHARD: Put briefly: survival in the wild ... prior to the development of intelligence.

RESPONDENT: Lately I have been practising the actualist method much more effectively; that is, I can see the potential for genuine results to follow rather quickly, *if* I have the guts to press on.

RICHARD: What I found was that the daring, the audacity, to proceed comes with that very procession. For instance:

• [Alan]: ‘... the only question which remains – do ‘I’ have the necessary intestinal fortitude to proceed?
• [Richard]: ‘No ... because no one has ‘the necessary intestinal fortitude to proceed’ before they proceed: it comes in sufficient quality, and only as required by the circumstances, as one proceeds.
The question is: what is preventing ‘me’ from proceeding? (Richard, Actual Freedom List, Alan-b, 28 January 2001).

RESPONDENT: It would be exaggerating a bit (but not very much) to say that the ‘excellence experience’ referred to a while back is almost a matter of choice now.

RICHARD: Ahh ... then you would be understanding why I oft-times say that a virtual freedom is not to be sneezed at (and that it is way beyond normal human expectations), then?

Because this is how you described it:

• [Respondent]: ‘There is an increase in sensory clarity, especially visual acuity. Along with this increase in clarity there is a ‘purity’ in everything one perceives. The words ‘immaculate’, ‘perfect’, ‘pure’ capture it quite well; everything is wonderful. Strangely, though, the word ‘beautiful’ does not apply. There is no (felt) affect whatsoever. The purity of perception (and the marvellousness of what is perceived) goes beyond affect, leaving only pure, calm wonder. It’s sensory delight without any emotional resonance at all. The sensory delight I’m talking about is not the usual kind of sensuousness/ sensuality that one enjoys in an ordinary state. Rather than being ‘pleasurable’, it is appreciation of the perfection that seems to be inherent in what one is perceiving, which leads to enjoyment of a very different kind.
This is quite extraordinary. There is a sensation of softness in the air, which has a pellucid, jelly-like quality (metaphorically speaking). I’m reminded of something you once wrote about the eyes ‘lightly caressing’, as if one is seeing from the front of the eyeball. I also remember you saying ‘nothing dirty can get in’, and that’s exactly the way it is. Objects that would seem drab, dirty, sullied, soiled in ‘reality’ are immaculate in themselves; any ‘dirtiness’ is overlaid by ‘me’. (‘Richard, are you familiar with this?’; May 20, 2004 17:34 PDT).

RESPONDENT: I have pulled myself back from going further a couple of times because of serious illness in the family. (Not that my unhappiness has improved anyone’s health, but it seemed somehow ‘indecent’ to be happy and carefree while a loved one is desperately ill. And yes, I know this is ‘silly’ (shall I wait for sickness and death to be eradicated before I consent to being happy?), but I find this particular aspect of real-world thinking/ feeling very hard to resist).

RICHARD: I do understand, from personal experience, what you are referring to ... it is weird, is it not?

*

RESPONDENT: Anyway, back to topic. It is becoming clearer that ‘I’ am optional, unnecessary, a hindrance in fact. And in light of that, I’m not sure why ‘I’ ever existed. Was ‘I’ ever necessary?

RICHARD: Yes ... sentient creatures are born with a rudimentary ‘self’ (especially obvious in what is known as the ‘higher-order’ animals) and if it were not for this animal-self we would not be here today discussing its redundancy now that intelligence has arisen in the human species.

RESPONDENT: Am ‘I’ an obsolete relic of a bygone evolutionary phase?

RICHARD: Yep.

RESPONDENT: Or would you say that an ‘I’ is still necessary for human infants and children as, say, a powerful engine for achieving competency/mastery of a skill?

RICHARD: I would say ... not necessary.

RESPONDENT: Is it necessary for a strong ‘I’ to lift a babe out of helplessness and ensure that s/he masters all the skills necessary for an adult human to function largely on auto-pilot?

RICHARD: No.

RESPONDENT: Lastly, are there any circumstances under which retaining an ‘I’ is advantageous (other than for killing, raping, committing suicide, asserting social/physical dominance, etc?).

RICHARD: No ... none whatsoever.

RESPONDENT: How about w.r.t. learning?

RICHARD: Not needed.

RESPONDENT: As above, I can remember how ‘I-ness’ with accompanying feelings of determination, dogged persistence, will to overcome frustration and setbacks, etc, possibly/probably? helped me to learn/master difficult skills in infancy and childhood, but I wonder if these attributes are still necessary to some extent in adulthood.

RICHARD: Neither in adulthood nor childhood ... if you were to re-read your sentence you will see that the very thing which required overcoming was occasioned in the first place by that which overcame it.

RESPONDENT: Or is there nothing in ‘me’ but hindrances?

RICHARD: Nothing at all.

August 15 2004

RESPONDENT: I have noticed this many a time too (that the body operates perfectly well without ‘me’ as overseer) and it bugs me that I don’t know why ‘I’ had to exist in the first place. I wonder if you can help me come to a deeper understanding of this.

RICHARD: Put briefly: survival in the wild ... prior to the development of intelligence.

RESPONDENT: Ok ... from this and other answers below: it’s now clear that the whole of ‘I’/’me’ is an evolutionary relic that has outlived its usefulness by thousands of years – which means that, as far as this flesh and blood is concerned, ‘I’ never was and never will be necessary for any purpose whatsoever.

(Whew!)

(Aside: I remember wondering some time last year whether there might be a single fact out there which, if known, could blow me completely away. Well here it is, though not quite in the way I’d expected!).

Thanks for clarifying this. It sweeps away the last of my (conceptual / theoretical) reservations.

I now have some simple questions/ observations about the role of ‘me’ in ‘self’-immolation. (Will raise these in a separate post).

RICHARD: Okay ... suffice for now is to stress how vital it is that ‘I’ do not make ‘myself’ into an enemy to be conquered but rather an ally in this, the adventure of a lifetime as, even though others may say they really care (by feeling that they do), only ‘I’ get to live with ‘myself’ twenty-four hours of the day.

It is imperative to be one’s own best friend.

Furthermore, no one can know ‘me’ as well as ‘I’ can: only ‘I’ can know ‘my’ every instinctual impulse, ‘my’ every affective feeling, and thus ‘my’ every thought ... only ‘I’ can know all the nuances of ‘my’ ethnic background, all the intimate details of ‘my’ familial upbringing, all the subtleties of ‘my’ peer-group aspirations, and so on.

*

RESPONDENT: Lately I have been practising the actualist method much more effectively; that is, I can see the potential for genuine results to follow rather quickly, *if* I have the guts to press on.

RICHARD: What I found was that the daring, the audacity, to proceed comes with that very procession. For instance: [Alan]: ‘... the only question which remains – do ‘I’ have the necessary intestinal fortitude to proceed? [Richard]: ‘No ... because no one has ‘the necessary intestinal fortitude to proceed’ before they proceed: it comes in sufficient quality, and only as required by the circumstances, as one proceeds. The question is: what is preventing ‘me’ from proceeding? [endquote].

RESPONDENT: Righto, this makes sense. Instead of trying to muster the necessary [whatever] in advance, just deal with the obstacles as they arise. That strategy has been working pretty well in other ways.

RICHARD: Speaking personally it was not ‘the obstacles’ which generated the most alarum … ‘twas the successes.

*

RESPONDENT: It would be exaggerating a bit (but not very much) to say that the ‘excellence experience’ referred to a while back is almost a matter of choice now.

RICHARD: Ahh ... then you would be understanding why I oft-times say that a virtual freedom is not to be sneezed at (and that it is way beyond normal human expectations), then?

RESPONDENT: Yes, definitely. (More details to follow separately).

RICHARD: Good … those that decry actualism on the grounds that somebody else is yet to become actually free from the human condition conveniently ignore the virtual freedom (which is humanly possible) that is the flow-on effect from just one person providing a do-it-yourself method with a proven track-record, an unambiguous report of their experience, clear descriptions of life here in this actual world, lucid explanations of how and why, and clarifications of misunderstandings.

Up until now peoples have only had the flow-on effect from enlightened beings.

*

RESPONDENT: I have pulled myself back from going further a couple of times because of serious illness in the family. (Not that my unhappiness has improved anyone’s health, but it seemed somehow ‘indecent’ to be happy and carefree while a loved one is desperately ill. And yes, I know this is ‘silly’ (shall I wait for sickness and death to be eradicated before I consent to being happy?), but I find this particular aspect of real-world thinking/feeling very hard to resist).

RICHARD: I do understand, from personal experience, what you are referring to ... it is weird, is it not?

RESPONDENT: Yes it is! I think it’s the real-world notion of caring that’s all askew. Normally it’s hard to conceive of ‘caring’ as anything other than empathic feeling. Even though there are times when it’s perfectly obvious that caring has nothing to do with feeling (let alone feeling sad and sorry), it’s difficult to remember this (or to trust the memory, perhaps).

RICHARD: Aye … even though there is a vast difference between the feeling of caring, and actually caring, old habits can die hard.

RESPONDENT: There seems to be an unspoken covenant that people who care about each other will suffer together. (Actually, not always unspoken, come to think of it!).

RICHARD: Indeed not ... for just one example:

• [Co-Respondent]: ‘... you are living on a planet scorched by misery.
• [Richard]: ‘Five point eight billion human beings are living on a planet ‘scorched by misery’ ... and scorched by malice, too, do not forget. Yet all malice and misery are feelings and are not, therefore, actual. They may be real – very real at times – but they are not actual. The direct results of having these feelings – these emotions and passions – are acted out in this actual world in the form of wars, murders, rapes, domestic violence, child abuse, suicides and so on ... but all these actions are unnecessary. They all stem from feelings and feelings – emotions and passions – are self-induced (‘I’ am passion and passion is ‘me’) and, as such, can be eliminated.
Then there is peace-on-earth.
• [Co-Respondent]: ‘Reality is painful but we have got to hang in there and deal with it.
• [Richard]: ‘You have the choice to ‘hang in there’ if that is what you want to do ... but you do not ‘have to’. Who told you that furphy?
Only sadomasochists wish to prolong suffering ... are you saying that five point eight billion human beings are sadomasochists? And are you suggesting – or demanding – that I ‘come back’ and join you all? What would that achieve? One more unhappy and malicious person would simply be more fuel for the fires of hatred and pain.
• [Co-Respondent]: ‘Behaving like trauma-stricken kids withdrawn into paradisiacal states of fantasy is dementia.
• [Richard]: ‘Behaving like a sulky child and refusing to give up your animosity and anguish is not only personally silly ... but is socially reprehensible. Do you want to perpetuate all these wars, murders, rapes, domestic violence, child abuse, suicides and so on for ever and a day? What is your investment in prolonging suffering? Job security? (Richard, List B, No. 23, 15 March 1998).

Incidentally, the reference to ‘job security’ is only because my co-respondent was, purportedly, a psychiatrist by profession.

*

RESPONDENT: (...) would you say that an ‘I’ is still necessary for human infants and children as, say, a powerful engine for achieving competency/mastery of a skill?

RICHARD: I would say ... not necessary.

RESPONDENT: (...) I can remember how ‘I-ness’ with accompanying feelings of determination, dogged persistence, will to overcome frustration and setbacks, etc, possibly/probably? helped me to learn/master difficult skills in infancy and childhood, but I wonder if these attributes are still necessary to some extent in adulthood.

RICHARD: Neither in adulthood nor childhood ... if you were to re-read your sentence you will see that the very thing which required overcoming was occasioned in the first place by that which overcame it.

RESPONDENT: Ha! I see what you mean. Determination and dogged persistence overcoming the feeling of frustration.

RICHARD: Yes … first ‘I’ create a problem then ‘I’ set out to overcome it: where there is no ‘me’ in the first place there is nothing to overcome (let alone anything that may even remotely justify ‘my’ existence).

It is all so simple in actuality.

*

RESPONDENT: … is there nothing in ‘me’ but hindrances?

RICHARD: Nothing at all.

RESPONDENT: Well, that’s great!

I don’t think the enormity of this had fully sunk in.

(More specifics in follow-ups over the next couple of weeks).

RICHARD: Okay ... what is important to grasp is that ‘I’ have an essential role to play in all this: only ‘I’ can bring an end to all the misery and mayhem which epitomises the human condition.

Nobody else can set you free ... your freedom is in your hands, and your hands alone.

September 10 2004

RESPONDENT: Taking a walk in the country the other day, I was mulling over a few aspects of actualism, thinking about the nature of the identity. I was trying to observe and understand the nature of the ‘self’ by comparing my experience of this moment with my recollection of PCE’s.

That is, I was thinking of my ‘self’ as the difference between an ordinary moment and a moment of pure consciousness. After a while this struck me as a bit silly (even though it is quite correct). I thought: why not just drop all ideas and definitions and start with the obvious fact: I’m this living human body, this physical organism, plonked right here in the midst of actual space and actual time, and I’m strolling along a country road. All I need to do is dare to be what I am, where I am, and when I am. (This body. This place. This moment). Why should this be difficult? Who or what can preventing such a simple occurrence?

After a while, the ‘real’ but non-actual nature of ‘me’ struck me with crystal clarity. I saw once again that ‘I’ am a usurper, a feeling-backed idea, a belief, a fiction. Not only am ‘I’ and ‘my’ life a dream of sorts, the dreamer himself was fully exposed for ‘who’ he is. This dreamer can do nothing but spin feeling-based fantasies and pursue ‘self’-centred goals forever and a day. There will be no end to these dreams, fantasies, ‘self’-centred goals (no matter how cunningly disguised they may be) while ever ‘I’ exist. There will be no satisfaction for ‘me’.

Not ever.

I realised that it is nowhere near good enough to try to dissolve each identity-spun ‘dream’ (each lie, each error, each fiction, each belief, each fantasy, one by one); it might help a little, and it might be an interesting activity in itself, but ultimately one needs to expunge the ‘dreamer’ himself from the world. And when ‘he’ is momentarily gone, how simple it all is!

Nothing new here, of course. Only the joy of seeing it again directly, instead of just understanding it intellectually.

RESPONDENT No 49: (...) I too was having some thoughts on AF the other day. Specifically on how Richard refers to the rise of IQ in relation to AF.

RESPONDENT: Is that so?

RICHARD: No, it is not so ... I have never referred to anything of the sort.

RESPONDENT: I haven’t noticed Richard saying anything about IQ.

RICHARD: A computer search of all I have ever written returned the following two (2) hits:

• [Co-Respondent]: ‘Are you more intelligent in your present condition when compared with the intelligence operating within the enlightened state?
• [Richard]: ‘A freed intelligence is free to be as intelligent as it is capable of ... on an Intelligence Quotient test, for instance, I rate about the same as before – somewhat above normal – which is not to imply that IQ alone is the measure of intelligence but that it is a useful reference.
• [Co-Respondent]: ‘And were you more intelligent when enlightened compared to when you were a happily married family man?
• [Richard]: ‘A normal intelligence is a crippled intelligence – crippled by both the instinctual passions and the ‘being’ they form themselves into – and an abnormal intelligence is further crippled by the ‘being’ manifesting as a ‘Being’ ... replete with the delusion that its intelligence is a supreme intelligence, an all-embracing intelligence, an all-knowing intelligence.
Taking all things into consideration (such as pacifistic nature of enlightenment for just one example) I would say less capable.
• [Co-Respondent]: ‘It’s just like asking who’s more intelligent: God, Richard or ... you (as what you are)?
• [Richard]: ‘No, it is a case of seeing that both the normal and abnormal intelligence is crippled right from the beginning ... a freed intelligence is free to be as intelligent as it is capable of.
• [Co-Respondent]: ‘Are you implying that ‘the extraordinary intelligence of the enlightened state’ was this body intelligence and not the Self?
• [Richard]: ‘No, although human intelligence does still operate, of course, albeit ham-strung ... it is more the very nature of Love Agapé, and Divine Compassion, that creates the delusion of it being a supreme, all-embracing intelligence when what it is, fundamentally, is the nurturing instinct writ large (hence it is generally classified as being the feminine principle).
The all-knowing part is just megalomania, such as all dictators display, only aggrandised to the hilt.
• [Co-Respondent]: ‘Was it because the identity vanished that ‘intelligence’ was able to operate more freely?
• [Richard]: ‘No (only one half of the identity vanishes in an altered state of consciousness) ... the delusion that love and compassion are supremely intelligent, as a state of being, is what was able to operate more freely.
• [Co-Respondent]: ‘And is the Self an usurper of this body intelligence as for the Universe properties, (as you have a direct experience of what remained – authentic and what went to the trash bin as the Absolute disappeared)?
• [Richard]: ‘No, if it has usurped anything it is blind nature’s nurturing role ... but it is more a case of glorifying and glamorising that way beyond its limited capacity. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 25b, 19 July 2003).

And:

• [Co-Respondent]: ‘You are a clever, intelligent fellow, attentive to details.
• [Richard]: ‘Hmm ... my first wife is 4 points higher than me on the standard IQ scale, and she is nowadays of the ‘Jehovah’s Witness’ persuasion, so it takes more than being clever/intelligent to be free of the human condition, but you are right on the ball in regards attentiveness as it was being attentive to how this moment of being alive was experienced (the only moment one is ever actually alive) which ensured success.
‘Tis such a simple thing, non? (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 71, 15 July 2004).

RESPONDENT: I remember him saying that common sense and memory work much better without a ‘self’ present to ‘stuff things up’, but I don’t recall him saying anything about IQ specifically. I’ve sometimes wondered about this. One of the first things that bugged me about Richard’s description of AF was the loss of capacity to imagine.

RICHARD: You may be referring to the following (my response to your very first e-mail to this mailing list):

• [Respondent]: ‘My first questions relate to what is (apparently) lost in AF. If there is no imaginative faculty, no mind-space at all in which to visualise objects and processes, how is it possible to understand systems and processes that do not occur right before one’s eyes? (...) More generally, if you are wholly immersed in the actual world 24/7, and have no ability to be otherwise, how is it possible to understand systems and processes whose meaning and purpose is only comprehensible at higher levels of abstraction?
• [Richard]: ‘What part of my response in regards to the query, three days ago, on this very topic are you having difficulty in comprehending? Viz.:

[Co-Respondent]: ‘(I suppose I am asking whether conceptualising is actual or just a feature of the identity).
[Richard]: ‘I can intellectually conceptualise (formulate, configure, theorise, and so on) – as in 2+2=4, for instance, or ‘if this, then that’, for another – as it is the intuitive/imaginative conceptualising (visualising, idealising, romanticising, fantasising, and soon), which is a feature of identity. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 54, 5 November 2003).

Although I have never learned calculus, for instance, I did learn basic algebra and trigonometry and thus could expand my capacities if there were sufficient motivation.
As my interest (and thus expertise) lies elsewhere that is highly unlikely. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 60, 7 November 2003).

RESPONDENT: It would seem intuitively that the loss of this capacity would result in a drop in IQ ...

RICHARD: And maybe, just maybe, therein lies a clue ... I report there is no intuitive/imaginative facility whatsoever in this flesh and blood body and you say that [quote] ‘it would seem *intuitively* that the loss of this capacity would result in a drop in IQ’ [emphasis added].

RESPONDENT: ... [It would seem intuitively that the loss of this capacity would result in a drop in IQ], considering that most standard IQ tests measure visuo-spatial ability. I dunno. Maybe the brain can handle tasks commonly believed to require visualisation without the help of mental images.

RICHARD: It would appear that it can indeed.

September 10 2004

RESPONDENT: It would seem intuitively that the loss of this capacity [to visualise] would result in a drop in IQ ...

RICHARD: And maybe, just maybe, therein lies a clue ... I report there is no intuitive/imaginative facility whatsoever in this flesh and blood body and you say that ‘it would seem *intuitively* that the loss of this capacity would result in a drop in IQ’ [emphasis added].

RESPONDENT: ...[It would seem intuitively that the loss of this capacity would result in a drop in IQ], considering that most standard IQ tests measure visuo-spatial ability. I dunno. Maybe the brain can handle tasks commonly believed to require visualisation without the help of mental images.

RICHARD: It would appear that it can indeed.

RESPONDENT: Good. I’m not as surprised by this as I would once have been.

I wonder how you experience this though? (Not surprisingly, I cannot imagine it). Suppose you’re walking by the roadside and a person in a passing car stops and asks you how to get to Easy Street. Assuming you know where Easy Street is, what conscious processes occur in your mind when you’re trying to describe the way from here to there?

For me, the thought is going to be accompanied by images. They might only be vague ones, or even abstract ‘wire-frame’ type images devoid of detail, but essentially what I seem to be doing is constructing, from visual memory, a simulation of what is really out there. In my mind’s eye I take the journey between here and Easy Street, and that’s how I’m able to tell the other how to get there.

I’m assuming that you too would be able to tell the other person how to get there. But how would you experience this?

RICHARD: First of all I will re-present the following (so that we both know just what it is we are talking about):

• [Respondent]: ‘... in the PCE on a country walk [last summer] I thought idly about where I was in relation to the town and river, found I could not construct a mental map, and did not give a damn. It didn’t matter in the slightest; it had no relevance. I was ‘here’, and that was all I needed to know. Besides, I was too busy perceiving to worry about creating some internal shorthand sketch of what was all around me in all its splendour’. (Monday 22/12/2003 AEST).

And the other version:

• [Respondent]: ‘... at one point I wondered: where am I? I knew that I was walking on a country road outside town, but when I tried to precisely locate myself in relation to the river and the town, found I could not. I could not hold an abstract map in my mind at all. But it didn’t matter in the slightest. Where am I? I’m here! The whole question of where ‘here’ is only makes sense in relation to where somewhere else is, and what’s the point of that? (Friday 7/1120/03 AEST).

As you are going for a walk along a country road outside of the town where you live it does not require any visualising (let alone an abstract wire-frame image/mental map/internal shorthand sketch) to be aware, as you are ambling along perceiving all about in all its splendour, that the town is in the other direction to the way you are facing, does it (simply because most roads have a tendency to be coming from somewhere and going to somewhere else)?

And, as you are strolling along without a care in the world, if you were to espy an approaching vehicle (a big blue car off in the distance, say, which is heading in the direction you are coming from) that is gradually slowing down – the sound of the engine is diminishing so much that it is becoming apparent that the driver is going to come to a stop beside you (presumably to ask for directions) – it would not require visualisation to be able to tell them that if they were to keep going for another x-kilometres/x-minutes (or just plain keep going) they will arrive at the town, would it?

It is actually a smallish car, with a thin red stripe down its side, and a slight pinging sound is coming from under the bonnet (now that the driver has switched the engine off the better to talk to you) and a faint shimmer of heat-haze is radiating the aroma of hot oiled-metal towards you – a smell which tickles the nostrils piquantly – and the big white birds with the down-curved beaks, that had been roosting on the greyed branches of the long-dead tree over the sagging wire-fence before the car’s approach sent them away, are rapidly becoming vague specks in the distance.

As the driver is asking you whereabouts in town Easy Street is – and you do know where Easy Street is of course – are you needing any imagination to tell them that, once they enter the town proper (where the country road, just over the bridge, becomes Main Street), what they need to do is look out for Paradise Café (a popular watering hole in Main Street which everybody in town knows the location of) and then take the next turn left? And, that once they have turned left, that they are to pass through x-number of intersections until they come to Crossing Street (or just plain keep on going until they do) and turn right into it – and they surely cannot mistake it as it is the only one in that area lined with large spreading trees in full purple bloom – because Easy Street, which is marked with tilted-over sign-post, is either the second or third on the left in Crossing Street?

No? And why not? Because it is all sequential, is it not (first this, then that, then the next, and so on)?

The driver is looking a trifle puzzled, and is asking you how many streets after the caff was it they were to turn left, and you are saying again, easily, that it is the first left, and it is fascinating, is it not, to see that the driver’s eyes (which seemed to have been turned inwards while you were giving directions) are all-of-a-sudden flashing at you that wide-open smile of fellowship recognition which is only-all-too-rare in the real-world ... and the warm summer sun on the back of the neck is bathing everything in this wondrous playground we all live in with its friendly embrace.

Ain’t life grand!


CORRESPONDENT No. 60 (Part Five)

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