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(List D refers to Richard’s List D
Vineeto’s Correspondence with Claudiu Discuss Actualism Forum
Dear Claudiu, Richard died 17.55 pm (officially, i.e. medically examined 18.10 pm), today, 6. June 2024 in Lismore Base Hospital, Intensive Care Unit. Official cause of death septicaemia from double pneumonia but additionally he also had an inflamed heart resulting in very low blood pressure, bleeding of the gastric/intestinal system and extreme weight-loss due to all those other conditions. Too many things to fight at once, even with modern medicine. It was actually amazing how long he held out with all of this going on, partly unbeknownst to him or me until he got to hospital. He will be greatly missed, here and around the world. Regards Vineeto
Dear Claudiu, It seems as if since then, floodgates of immense appreciation both in Richard and me have opened up, such deep and moving appreciation for the perfection all around, for instance every tiny detail in nature, so perfect, so precise as well as the vastness of perfection when you contemplate the universe beyond our own planet. He expressed his appreciation for me and what I did to help him in similar ways and called me, in normal human beings' terms "the love of his life". We were still looking for an appropriate actual freedom term for this – perhaps "the most exquisite inti-mate of his life" ? Additionally, the wonderfulness of kindness in people, so many people I come into contact now, moves me to tears – human nature has such great potential to be naïve and kind and nearly-innocent. And Richard thanked each and everyone who helped him once the hospital began, from the professional female paramedics to the three fire-fighters who organized carrying him off the boat into the ambulance, then to each doctor and nurse in Ballina hospital and each staff member and doctor in Lismore ICU. […] *Be* Richard, be the experience of the purity of the universe – experience it in the Four
Affect-Free States of Matter *
[…] When I contemplate right now pure intent to determine the quality of my experience of it, it is a very powerful all-permeating, oft-times overwhelming (until I get used to it I guess) purity of everything I see and everything that is, accompanied by a deep appreciation of it being so. […] I could see [...] how [Richard] quickly became only half-conscious and stayed like that to the point when he stopped breathing at 6 pm. Then I was more overwhelmed by the perception of kindness and care of each person in the ICU, how they deeply cared about each person in their unit, their kindness and concern towards me as well [...] On the 30 min taxi-drive home, again with a very sympathetic and kind driver, Indian by birth, I slowly could identify that when overwhelmed-ness set in it was in response to his kindness [...] Thinking it through a bit more, with
a cigarette and coffee out in the sun, I remember that Richard had several occurrences, before I became fully free,
when he was so overwhelmed by the immensity of this infinite and eternal universe, not
as a thought but the actual puissance – the puissance, power, energy Now I am thinking that when he died it is no longer shared physically, I am the only one experiencing it and this experience is overwhelming. [...] The other thing I remembered that during the time shortly before and I think also shortly after becoming fully actual free I experienced for a few weeks a jerking of too much energy when lying by his side [...] After those few weeks I became used to the 'voltage' and the jerking no longer happened. I am convinced that becoming fully
free involves an up-levelling of received electrical energy (the physical body is running on bio-electrical energy,
after all, from heart beat to brain activity, sometimes called 'action potential' What I mainly noticed is the immense
increase, and permanency, in appreciation of everything, and Richard, before his death, expressed this immense
appreciation several times, to you, then to me as described above, then commenting on the perfection of it all from
the tiniest detail to the vastness of the universe. Note that his last article is about "Marvelling At
How Well-Equipped Human Beings Are" […] I don't know what will happen. It looks like I will stay here on the houseboat, organize a few more improvements that Richard had planned and let life live me. I am curious myself how this increased puissance is going to work out in detail. With great appreciation,
CLAUDIU: Today was an odd day – the level of appreciation and purity I experienced has been less than other days and my experience has been at times more like how ‘I’ would normally be. However this came with the sincerity of seeing that ‘I’ really do have to actually give ‘myself’ up for this to happen. Ceasing to be me is exactly what self-immolation is. As I write this now I can say I have no doubts that this is sincerely what I want to do. VINEETO: I can understand that the level of appreciation and purity waxes and wanes, as
if ‘you’ want to return to the default position of feeling neutral as described in Richard’s copied article
from Sonja Lyubomirsky The only way to counteract this falling back will be if you make the deliberate decision, when feeling excellent and experiencing pure intent comes along, to commit to living out-from-under-control from then onwards. When ‘Vineeto’ got out-from-under-control after many ‘ums and ahs’ it was delicious but a few days later ‘she’ fell out of it and accepted this as a matter of course. But Richard didn’t. When ‘she’ told him about it, he said jokingly something to the effect of “stand in the corner until you are back into out-from-under-control”! So post-haste ‘Vineeto’ invited Peter into the bedroom and after some delicious intimacy soon was back where ‘she’ had been, and then was more watchful and determined to in fact stay out-from-under-control. It worked. It does need your active and decisive input – until an actual freedom happens, then you can’t fall back. CLAUDIU: Soon after, Vineeto published the Excerpts of All-pervading Sweetness As I wrote on that post:
VINEETO: I just re-read your entry on the Discuss Actualism Forum answering your own
question In deep wonder about the magicality of the working of the actual world. CLAUDIU: Yes! After I wrote it I went on a plane (travelling to Romania) and it became clear that the key is to go absolutely all out, put all efforts into doing this / allowing it to happen — which is done not by ‘pushing’ but by allowing that ambrosial sweetness !! The mistake I made that got me to normal was in thinking I have to not put effort into it at all but “let it happen” — however such a backseat approach doesn’t deliver the goods. The latter part of the plane ride I experienced a heightened magical sweetness that was more than at any other point in my life. I recognize it is of the same exact quality as I saw in your and Richard’s living room many years ago, but much more stable now as I didn’t pull back so quickly this time. I take your last email under good advisement though, committing to that level of active engagement is a sensible next step rather than trying to self immolate and then letting my efforts falter when not immediately successful. VINEETO: Indeed, pushing indicates that you expect resistance whereas allowing it to happen is the growing confidence that there might not be any resistance left … It’s fascinating to read that your “heightened magical sweetness” as of the “same exact quality” that you saw in Richard’s and my living room many years ago, I don’t remember that you mentioned that sweetness when you were visiting. It seems like you have a firm handle on your destiny and how to go about it. I am well pleased, utterly delighted in fact. * VINEETO: I will also comment on the question you sent to the forum last night (my time), perhaps you find it useful.
VINEETO: Ha, I remember well when that happened the first time, at Richard’s kitchen table :)). You have been fatally attracted for a long time. I think my first paragraph goes some way to answer that question – taking it step by step will be helpful, notching it up a gear (out-from-control) rather than taking the full jump approach. I just revisited Richard’s correspondence with on the difference between an EE and being out-from-control from August 15 2016 – in other words -
CLAUDIU: I pull back every time — I suppose that’s the nature of it, every time but the last time one will pull back. What is needed to proceed though? VINEETO: Each time this pulling back happens, take note what the objection/fear is this time, it may be a different one each time. “Pushing” will not help and only gets ‘your’ heckles up - you can be very gentle and simply be pulled forward by the experienced “fine and ambrosial appreciation” and overarching benignity of the universe. Become more and more friends with ‘me’ in that ‘I’ agree on more and more points that ‘I’ am indeed redundant to the stage where ‘I’ joyously acquiesce to lay down ‘my’ burden (it is indeed experienced as a burden) and fulfil ‘my’ deep-down yearning to finally go into oblivion. When there is no objection left there is only joyous anticipation and no fear at all. All my blessings for your daring and adventurous endeavour to reach your destiny. Such a wonderful and pregnant time. Vineeto
CLAUDIU: Earlier today another oddity occurred that I think was the same oddity that knocked me out of it last time. I was also half-dozing off and it’s like a weird blip after which it seemed like ‘something in the center’ was gone, but it was the same as before, clearly not actually free, and it seemed to affect the out-from-controlness somewhat. I’ve come up with a tentative conclusion: that it is a “fruition” as I used to experience in my meditative days. There was some brief after-effect that seemed like a sense of euphoria or jubilation, which happened in both cases, and I remember happening after “fruitions” in the past. This serves as yet further evidence that meditative/spiritual paths are not only unhelpful for pursuing actual freedom but actively detrimental. This time around I used a conscious willpower to not fall out of the out-from-controlness this time around,
and I am happy to say I did not! VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, I am delighted to read that your meticulous and successful extraction from the Buddhistic Dharma-Overground practice has had such
beneficial results, just at the moment when the beginning of an altered state of consciousness
(“fruition”) was about to veer you off from the ongoing actualism process (being out-from-control).
VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, CLAUDIU: For me realizing this I hit a bit of a
speed bump. It was two nights ago. As I wrote in #187 Faced with this as the obvious next step, I hit upon a distinct patch of hesitation and "well hold on a sec". This is something that I will actually have to do, which will mean the actual end of me – no longer a theoretical step at some point in the future, but something that actually will happen, or rather has to happen for me to attain my destiny. So the wondrous scintillation has dimmed since then, although out-from-control is still what I am. And I very distinctly do not want to fall out of this different-way-of-being. In other words, I firmly am not going back to normal. So it is a matter of staying where I am, in a sense, and actually checking out this latest objection. Very interestingly, when this would happen in the past I would experience it as being ‘stuck’. But I do not experience it as stuckness at all right now. It is just the next thing that is happening, and my experiencing still has that dynamic nature to it. Yesterday I spent a good amount of time on X (formerly Twitter) which is a sure-fire way to be exposed to horrible and terrible things happening in the world. I am particularly bothered by the egregious and >wilfully dishonest clipping of and taking quotes out of context to paint people as saying something very obviously different than what they are saying if one watches it in context. I put a lot of time and effort into trying to correct people, add the context, post a Community Note about it. The results were dismal – people that already saw it, saw it, and every person that engaged with me pushing back and maintaining the dishonesty, none of them change their opinions about it at all, even when presented with the clear, unmistakable facts. And so I came to see that what I was doing was trying to exert control over the world, to change other people to see what the facts are. And I saw it really just simply does not work at all. It reaffirmed that I actually don’t have control over this – meaning that my attempts to exert control in this manner, were a waste of energy. It made it starkly clear that this is not an alternative to actual freedom. Going out and spending energy essentially being an activist – it just doesn’t work. It is a tiny drop in the bucket, one feeling-beings contribution to a site with hundreds of millions of feeling-beings all fervently participating on it. Even if I had millions of followers – there are posters who do have millions of followers, and their replies are filled by people that vehemently disagree with them. One simply cannot control other people, it doesn’t work. It seems to mostly be out of my system now as
I redirect my energy back to going further towards actuality. This is clearly the best way to actually make an impact on
the world – by being that, and writing from that place, and then what I write may attract people which may
go viral (perhaps), but that part is not up to me, all I can do is put it out into the world – and very obviously, the
most impactful way to spend that energy is firstly to become free myself, and secondly to put that energy into the
current active participants here, to help in whatever way that might help (which will be greatly aided by the
most-impactful thing). This was a very observant experiment -- “it is impossible to combat the wisdom of the real world”. (Article 21: ‘It Is Impossible To Combat The Wisdom Of The Real World’; ‘Richard’s Journal’; ©1997 The Actual Freedom Trust). It is a great insight to aid you in leaving humanity itself.
Here is a fitting cartoon for you ;-)
Cheers Vineeto
Hi Kuba, hi Claudiu, hi everyone, In the last week I have been busy reformatting and publishing Dona’s and Alan’s (dead-link) [https://actualfreedom.net/australia-questions/]
web-page on the AFT website
at
One of the major topics of this three-week event of answers to questions from forum members in 2017 was that there are *no conditions to become actually free*. “Richard said there is *no connection at all* between feeling good each moment again and actual freedom. You can become actually free right now. But … In the meantime, while you’re living your life not actually free, why not feel good? As he says, this is your only moment of being alive, why waste it feeling bad?” For instance – 09 Nov 2017 Geoffrey: There is something I’ve been thinking about since:
(my remark: same as a PCE… you are either in a PCE or you are not)
I remember making a remark on Slack that ‘allowing it to happen’ we usually used in reference to having PCEs, not self-immolation. And that it was a nice ‘parallel’ between the identity going in abeyance, and in oblivion. But I was wondering if there was more to this than just a ‘parallel’.
… and there go my many ‘attempts’ lol, including yesterday’s one (when I was “contemplating on altruism”) – which interestingly ended in a PCE. This has happened lately, that when ‘trying’ to self-immolate I don’t end up in ASCs anymore, but in PCEs. This is the case since I’ve stopped ‘forcing it’, but instead trying to ‘allow it to happen’.
So the same thing that causes a PCE could result in self-immolation instead, if one is ready/has
fully committed to becoming actually free.
Then Self- immolation is a ‘spontaneous’ occurrence – when one is ready/fully committed. 1. Is all the above correct? Dona: you posted Alan saying, “there is no trying” to self-immolate... And that there are no ‘rules’ and no conditions for self-immolation to happen. So, that same answer still applies to all your questions above. Geoffrey: 4. If so I have to ask once more the question you must be tired to hear: how do I get ready? Dona: again, there are no conditions, you are ready when you are ready. Then in the meantime... (Lol... You know the answer...) ... Yep, the actualism method. Though Richard and Vineeto understand that you want a “formula” (Dona sidenote: so do I!) ... There is none. Everyone is different and has their own way. There are things that Vineeto suggested that she did ... But ... they are NOT to be considered
“conditions”. Richard added: “there’s nothing you can do to become actually free, and there’s nothing you can’t do”. Alan: Much the same as Dona has written. The main thing I got (again!) from our conversation is that there is no particular route to be followed. Your second and third questions are setting conditions. There are none! The experience (what they have ‘done’) of each person who has become actually free so far has been different. Vineeto said her experience was giving ‘herself’ permission to allow it to happen – but others did not experience that. Become interested, vitally interested (until it becomes a fascination) in ‘you’ and how ‘you’ operate. Discover what objections there are to becoming actually free. In the meantime commit to feeling good each moment again for the rest of your life and enjoy and appreciate this only moment of being alive – there is no difference between the ends and the means.
* As we all know, Geoffrey succeeded in becoming actually free 10 months later and thus made good on his promise at the end of the question-answer-event – 13 Nov 2017 Geoffrey: No more questions for me. Dona: Richard and Vineeto
appreciated hearing this, with big smiles.
Vineeto’s & Richard’s Text ©The Actual
Freedom Trust: 1997-. All Rights Reserved.
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