Please note that Peter’s correspondence below was written by the feeling-being ‘Peter’ while ‘he’ lived in a pragmatic (methodological), still-in-control/same-way-of-being Virtual Freedom before becoming actually free.

Selected Correspondence Peter


RESPONDENT: Is it possible to exist an actualist group psyche, bearing in mind that we still are selves and enjoy plenty of feelings? I have seen some synchronicity around here...

PETER: If you mean, is there what could be called a group dynamic that operates on this mailing list, then the answer is yes. There is always a group psyche, to use your term, which operates whenever feeling-beings get together. One can see this in operation in any group – there can be dissent within the group, an instinctive taking sides and forming of sub-groups, a collective bowing to authority such as is seen in temples, churches, ashrams, synagogues and meditation groups, a mass sharing of excitement such as at sporting events, a mass sharing of resentment and anger as seen at protest rallies, a collective hysteria as seen when law and order breaks down, mass outbreaks of fear in the face of sudden frightening events and so on. Because of the overwhelming power of these collective psychic emotions and passions, an actualist needs not only to be attentive to the destructiveness of his or her own feelings but also to the destructiveness of collective human feelings because that’s when the destructiveness of the feelings that arise from the instinctual passions can become horrifically devastating.

As for ‘an actualist group psyche’, I can talk with authority about the only unabashed and unreserved actualists that I know directly – myself, Vineeto and Richard. There is no group psyche that operates between the three of us – we simply have something in common. Primarily this common interest is that we are fellow human beings but also we share an interest in being free from the human condition, which is why Vineeto and I tap into Richard’s expertise in the matter. We always enjoy each other’s company and we are able to do so because we harbour no feelings of malice towards each other whatsoever and nor do we experience sadness at having to be here.

With regard to seeing ‘some synchronicity around here’, I would put that in the same category as serendipity – the simple fact of being alive presents a smorgasbord of opportunities, situations, coincidences, events, meetings, settings, locations, and so on, such that serendipity abounds and synchronicity is possible. My down-to-earth experience is of the serendipitous events that lead to my meeting both Richard and Vineeto which in turn allowed the synchronicity that happens between us – and by synchronicity I mean being able to co-exist together both happily and harmlessly whenever we happen to meet or interact. This synchronicity is also apparent in our correspondence on this mailing list as we tend to use the same terminology for ease and accuracy of communication, we all rely on facts as being the arbiter in deciding sensible action and we have all have direct experiential knowledge of the human condition (or have had in Richard’s case).

PETER to Alan: Which reminds me of a cute story that happened lately. About a year ago I got a bee in my bonnet to write a piece for the national newspaper as they were publishing readers’ stories in their weekend magazine under the banner ‘Real Life’. Inspired by the fact that I now had something to say about ‘real life’ I sent off a piece on death, culled from my journal. Lo and behold they published it – I had kept it very mild and watered down. Then I sent another piece culled from the Living Together chapter and called it ‘Liberation from being men and women’. Nothing happened and about 3 months ago they returned it with a ‘Thank you, but ...’ note. About 3 weeks ago Vineeto brought home a copy of the local Rajneesh Sannyas magazine, and there on the cover were the words ‘Liberation from being men and women’. ‘Something familiar about those words ...’ I thought, and looked inside to find my article printed word for word with ‘Author unknown’ at the end. It turned out that Vineeto had given it to a woman at work who was associated with the magazine at the time to see if they were interested in publishing it. Nothing happened and we both forgot about it, and meanwhile the woman ceased her involvement with the magazine. It seemed that the article – author unknown by now – was found by someone who considered it interesting enough to publish. So the traitor-to-the-cause, the blacker-than-black sheep gets his article published anonymously in a Rajneesh magazine. They haven’t a clue how much of a heretic I am. Maybe they just think I’m a Guru basher – if they think at all, that is. Cute Hey...

When the editor found out t’was me he rang up to apologize and casually mentioned they would consider publishing something else; so I popped one in to him but ‘upped the ante’ just a bit this time – sprinkling the piece with a few words like instincts, beliefs, morals, ethics, peace, fear, aggression, malice and sorrow. It’s entitled ‘Folks and People’ and is hung around the story I recently related on the list about the waring gangs in Chicago. We will see what becomes of that. It is amazing to see serendipity in action – to watch the marvellous quirks and twists and links and opportunities and events that occur – as though by magic.

As I said in my journal of the path to Actual Freedom – ‘Serendipity is, after all, what happens when you take the opportunity that comes along.’

Well, before I wander up some other alley, I’m off to the couch ... so it’s goodnight from me ...


PETER to Alan: For those willing to consider the possibility of an actual freedom, the next step is to tap into pure intent – an intent to make it something one is willing to dedicate one’s life to and a purity such that one will settle for nothing less than the purity and perfection so obviously experienced in a Pure Consciousness Experience. If it is possible for a brief time it must be possible as a permanent state – purity and perfection is possible as a flesh and blood human being, it requires one’s sincere intent to become a ‘self’ consuming passion in life.

As an ongoing experience one moves into a state of Virtual Freedom whereby one goes to sleep at night time knowing one has had a perfect day and that tomorrow will also be a perfect day. This perfection is not the perfection of Actual Freedom but a 99.9% perfection and the hic-ups or stumbles are so minor and brief, that they fail to daunt one on the journey. Serendipity abounds and a fascination with life activates delight and sensuousness as one does all one can to mimic the perfection and purity that becomes increasingly apparent all around in the physical world. One’s mind, more and more freed of imagination and the chemical influence of instinctual passions, is capable of great clarity, and as apperceptive awareness replaces self-centred neurosis one knows one’s days are numbered. By this total and sincere dedication to what is actual, pure and perfect, one abandons control, so to speak, whereby the very process of self-immolation is set in motion – then it is not a process that one has any control over, it is happening by itself.

The ending of ‘me’, when seen dispassionately, is the amygdala doing its survival thing – one encounters surges of chemicals from an obsolete program playing out its death throes – fighting for its very survival as it is programmed to do. This last stages of the ending of ‘me’ is both a psychic and psychological affair, thus accompanying the chemical rushes (fear) one also experiences the psychological equivalent (angst), but one is committed by now – there is no ‘back door’, no turning back, no phoenix to rise from the ashes. ‘My’ end is nigh.

However, to even get to the point where one abandons control requires sincere intent, lest one settles for second-best. Sincere intent is one’s companion on the journey from beginning to end.

PETER to Alan: What Richard has discovered is a way that one can weaken this ‘signalling’ from the amygdala to the frontal cortex to such an extent that eventually the ‘signalling’ ceases altogether. With the cessation of this ‘signalling’ comes the extinction of the instinctual ‘self’ – one’s sense of ‘being’, the associated instinctual passions and chemical flows cease.

Richard’s on-going experience is that one can live without any identity whatsoever, be it societal or instinctual. His first step was societal – stepping out of society – one’s social identity is left behind, there is no illusionary person in the ‘executive suite’, no ‘little man inside the head pulling the levers’. The second step was instinctual, one’s instinctual being is left behind, the ‘signalling’ from the amygdala ceased completely.

The critical difference between the traditional approach and the actualist approach to freedom is that the spiritualists attempt to deny the bad instinctual passions and identify with the good instinctual passion and chemical flows, denying the ‘signalling’ – thus one feels oneself to be bliss, oneness, wholeness, love, etc. while transcending or rising above fear and aggression. As Mr. Lowe so rightly pointed out in the opening statement of his recently reviewed book one can ‘find a way of living where you can feel happy and joyful and free of fear’, but the full range of instinctual passions are still present in spiritual freedom for there is still ‘anger, greed and lust’ present, it’s just that he doesn’t ‘identify’ with them any more.

The trap for past seekers of freedom is that spiritual concepts are instinctive in that their roots are so ancient that they disappear into the mists of time. The idea of a human spirit or soul, the idea of other-worlds, the idea of life beyond death, are deeply entrenched in Humanity, so much so that they could be regarded as both instinctual and intuitive. Intuitive in that these ideas are implanted in the memory of the amygdala and the amygdala automatically responds to spiritual notions with appropriate chemical responses. Thus the beliefs and myths of a spirit ‘home’, a spirit world and a life after death ‘feel’ right and true at a gut level. The flow of chemicals from the amygdala in response to spiritual input are warming and comforting as the intrinsic human awareness of mortality and the fear of death are temporarily extinguished.

As such, the only actual and definitive freedom from the spiritual is to evince a complete cessation of the ‘signalling’ from the amygdala as Richard has done and as those following his method are doing. Neither repressing nor expressing, neither denying nor transcending, neither rejecting nor accepting, but actively observing and developing an understanding of these emotional signals and how they cause malice and sorrow in your life.

‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ is the method to eventually lead to an awareness and investigation of this instinctive ‘signalling’ from the amygdala such that one can plainly see, and experience, ‘who’ one thinks and feels one is ‘in action’. With this awareness and investigation comes a bare awareness such that one can distinguish between ‘what’ one is – clear thinking, a bare consciousness and sensate experiencing – and ‘who’ one has been taught to think one is and ‘who’ one has been programmed by blind nature to feel oneself to be.

My experience is that sufficient time is needed living and experiencing a state of virtual freedom such that the fuses don’t blow when the whole ‘signalling’ system collapses or atrophies. In practical terms, this is a period of virtually no ‘signalling’ from the amygdala and virtually no personal ‘self’-centred thoughts. When one checks out by asking ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ and there is no ‘signalling’, no sadness, no being peeved, no boredom, etc. and no mental worries or anxieties and no desire to go looking for them, then one simply ‘cruises and grooves’. Just a note that I am talking here of the latter stages of the process – in the early days one’s life is so full of discoveries, investigations and insights into the Human Condition and how one functions that one can barely catch breath with the often tumultuous excitement and pace of events.

This latter period of ‘nothingness’ can be daunting at first but gradually an existence devoid of any ‘real’ world and ‘spiritual’ world meanings and values becomes delightfully delicious and sensually rich, not as a feeling but as a magnificent and overwhelming actuality. This ‘nothingness’ can be seen as a milder version of Richard’s angst or mental anguish period when all ‘signalling’ had ceased.

It’s so good to follow and copy something that works, to follow someone who’s been through it and done it, and to find that modern empirical scientific research is confirming our experiences. And it’s good to be able to describe the process in dictionary definable words and post scientific empirical neurological and genetic research that both confirms actualism and buckets the spiritual belief in an immortal Godly soul.

Ah, serendipity abounds ...

PETER to Alan: Every discovery and insight into the Human Condition is useless unless one applies it with honesty and sincerity to how one is living one’s own life, for unless one is actually free of the Human Condition, one is not exempt. As we know, one can easily feel free but it is in the ‘push comes to shove’ moments that one is tested. It is in these moments that the instinctual passions will always over-ride the good, the well-meaning and the rational. It is when jealousy rages to violence that the sexual instinct and associated nurture – the emotion that humans fondly call love – is shown as nothing other than a powerful and blind animal instinctual passion. It is when one’s spiritual beliefs are questioned that the raw instinctual fear of death will arise and cause one to act in ways that are both desperate and insane. When one is threatened with ostracism or isolation from the security of whatever group or relationship one feels one belongs to, that one literally will do anything to avoid being an outsider or on one’s own.

The chemical surges that cause us to automatically feel and act fearful, nurturing, aggressive and desirous are primary, ‘quick and dirty’, thoughtless and instinctual-emotional and, as such, ultimately uncontrollable by moral and ethical training or by denial and imaginary transcendence. These chemical surges that arise from the instinctual passions are most definitely not an illusion that one can deny or pretend that one has overcome them – they are very real – readily measurable in response times, sourced from a particular location in the physical brain and empirically observable in action. It was only when this chemical flow ceased that Richard became actually free of the Human Condition. To quote Richard from the ‘Introduction to Actual Freedom’ –

Richard: ‘My’ demise was as fictitious as ‘my’ apparent presence. I have always been here, I realize, it was that ‘I’ only imagined that ‘I’ existed. It was all an emotional play in a fertile imagination ... which was, however, fuelled by an actual hormonal substance triggered off from within the brain-stem because of the instinctual passions bestowed by blind nature. Richard’s Journal, ‘Article 18’

An actualist will not skip over the ‘however’, for in that one word is the key to the difference between an actual freedom and an illusionary freedom from the Human Condition.

In the past, the feeling of freedom was the best on offer – feeling ‘above it all’ was better than feeling ‘part of the rest’ – but it did nothing to stop anyone from being driven by the instinctual passions. In fact, to follow the spiritual path was but to jump out of the frying pan into the fire. The religious wars, the spiritual perversions of celibacy and Tantric teachings, the teachings of suffering, doom, evil and fear, the battle of the religions and God-men for ever more numbers and ever more power, the ongoing humiliation of human beings prostrating themselves before mythical Gods and humbug God-men – all this attest to the institutionalized insanity of any and all spiritual belief-systems.

These ancient beliefs do nothing but cloud over, divert, deflect, distract, sidetrack, compound and ultimately cause one to turn away from the only sensible human freedom – a freedom for human beings to stop instinctually behaving like animals and treating each other like animals.

Well, all that came out of one little news report about a ‘peace’ negotiation to stop two groups of humans waging war against each other. Good to sheet it back home and see where one is ‘waging war’ oneself and to see what I can actually do about peace on earth.

No 13 wrote recently that The actual revolutions start here as a matter of course each time a new wonder manifests itself into consciousness or a physical sensation. I can only help myself each moment again. I can only partake of all that is on offer.’ [endquote].

Being pragmatic I would say that ‘the actual re-programming of one’s brain – the deleting of one’s social and instinctual programming – can only start and continue by investigating each time that a new feeling manifests itself and prevents me from being happy and harmless.’

These thoughtful investigations can be so revealing, so insightful, so blindingly obvious that synapses in the brain can snap, clarity can result and behaviour can be changed and – provided ‘I’ don’t claim the credit – PCEs can result.

Ah well, Alan, this has turned into another of my raves, but life continually presents one with serendipitous opportunities to study the Human Condition, to see it in operation as one’s ‘self’ ... and countless reasons to be actually free of the lot.

And I do enjoy writing about the Human Condition.

By the way, the local NDA spiritual magazine is publishing my ‘Austradamus’s New Millennium Predictions’ article. I find it bewildering that they could laugh at their spiritual beliefs in such a way – have they no integrity at all?

RESPONDENT: As Vineeto has said before, I am usually aware of myself made up with human relationship around me. To say further, I am usually experiencing my self as feelings to relationship around me. And I see that these feelings are most commonly expressed as emotion-backed thoughts which are reactions to other people’s behaviours and words. I usually interpret them whether it’s good for me or not. And when I can interpret them as good for me, I have a good feeling. And when I cannot, I have a bad feeling. Then I try to find another interpretation which can make me have a good feeling.

And this is based on my belief that I must be loved by whom I love. This makes another belief that those who I love will behave as I wish at last. They produce emotion-backed thoughts while reacting to people’s behaviours and words and make me miserable. And I have found myself not being ‘here and now’.

To say it specifically, I have been married for 11 years and have one daughter. And I have had a girl friend for 5 years. Open triangle relation. I have not been able to choose one of two for 5 years. And now my girl friend says that she will not see me anymore until I divorce. I like all of them. (I don’t want to use love in this time). When I imagine I divorce I feel too much miserable. When I imagine I live without a girl friend I feel too much miserable. I am totally at a loss. And now I am alone at the office typing on the keyboard and feel miserable. Why am I miserable? Because I am thinking about future. But this answer does not make me happy and harmless. I see my fear about the loss of all of them. This means my belief that I cannot live happily without them. Any comment?

PETER: Well, it’s one of the best, concise descriptions of the problem of human ‘relationships’ I have read.

These are the very problems that have driven monks into caves – and celibacy – in order to avoid facing them. Where I live, people pay a fortune to go on ‘retreats’, sometimes for weeks on end, as a relief from exactly these issues in daily life. Others save frantically in order to go to ashrams, attend groups or do courses in sheltered ‘nurturing’ environments in order to escape from having to feel these feelings and deal with these issues.

When I met Richard I had almost given up on relationships and was on the ‘being alone, celibacy’ path. One of the major reasons I jumped on to the path to Actual Freedom was the chance to live with a woman in peace and harmony and to unravel the mysteries of sexual pleasure. I wanted to find the answers to these issues and the spiritual path offered none.

The cute thing about the method Richard devised is that anyone can do it, anywhere in the world, doing an ordinary job, fulfilling one’s essential tasks like making money, being a father, etc. It requires no retreating, no avoiding, no withdrawing. ‘In the world as-it-is’, ‘with people as-they-are’ are phrases that describes a vibrant, fully-engaged actual freedom – not a second-rate living in denial or wrapped in spiritual ‘cottonwool’. A happiness and harmlessness that is not dependant on the ‘right’ circumstances, ‘good’ times or that old cliché – ‘being grateful’.

One discovers the actual world – a peaceful, sensual world free of fear and aggression, a fairy-tale like paradise that is here under our very noses. In this discovering one is also able to live in the world-as-it-is, with people as-they-are with such an ease and comfort that would have been unimaginable 2 years ago. Both the ‘spiritual’ and ‘real’ worlds are seen for what they are – ‘psychic battlefields that are the direct result of 6 billion people fighting it out for survival. The most estimable feature of Virtual Freedom is that one lives free of fear for 99% of the time, for there is no fear in the Actual World.

So, it sounds as if you may well be at one of life’s turning points that are often fascinating opportunities. I know, for me, the ending of relationships, deaths around me, changes in circumstances or places I lived, all gave me an opportunity to sit back and ‘take stock’ of my life. My wife leaving set me on the spiritual search, my son dying got me serious about it, another failed relationship got me single-pointed and then I met Richard who pointed out that I was looking in the wrong direction.

To not only experience failure in both the ‘real’ world and ‘spiritual’ worlds but also to acknowledge my failures, proved to be essential prerequisites for an active and passionate pursuit of Actual Freedom.

All proved to be serendipitous events ...

serendipity –– The making of happy and unexpected discoveries by accident or when looking for something else; such a discovery. Oxford Dictionary

Peter: The long life lived by most humans with multitudinous events and interactions with people and things provides for many opportunities for the making of serendipitous discoveries. Most people are so emotionally overloaded or trapped in repetitive behaviour patterns that serendipity goes unnoticed or, if seen, is so astounding as to be put down to some divine blessing or intervention or is being dismissed as luck. Serendipity is often claimed to be a prayer answered, good luck, God’s will, or ‘existence providing’, while blindly ignoring the other times when prayers go unanswered, ‘life’s a bitch’, it was bad luck or ‘someone else’s fault’, or it was ‘good’ to suffer as a ‘growth’ experience.

On the wide and wondrous path to actual freedom serendipitous discoveries are a constant occurrence. With the ever-running of the question ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ one is continuously presented with opportunities to discover, investigate and understand what particular feeling, resulting from an event or interaction, is preventing you from being happy now.

Yesterday’s happiness or some future – imaginary – happiness or harmlessness has absolutely no relevance right now, this only moment you can experience being alive. If you miss the opportunity this time around, this moment, you have another chance immediately, this moment, for one’s life is perpetually experienced in this moment only. And serendipity will always present you with the next issue, belief, instinctual pattern, mood or emotion, etc. – right on cue.

But, as serendipitous as the incident or discovery or event may be, it is what you make of it that is of more significance. A serendipitous discovery, if dispassionately contemplated upon, can lead to a realization such that it becomes a life-changing event. The Actual Freedom Trust Library

What a wonderful adventure life is ...

RESPONDENT: I’ve had the ‘PCEs’ Richard describes. Quite a few of them actually, this past year especially. Have seen in them that, in spite of what I usually believe, there is nothing to fear in the universe, that it is utterly and completely friendly, including death. And I have also recently realized that the only place in the world where there is cruelty – fear – and sadness is within myself. But I have a lot of both, especially the sadness. They are what got me looking.

Is there something else to be done besides pay attention to them? How is this identity dismantled?

PETER: In my experience, becoming curious, will lead to fascination, will lead to obsession, will be aided by serendipitous discoveries, will lead to the systematic dismantling to such an extent that one day the whole lot will collapse like a pack of cards. At the moment with me the whole lot is trembling and shaking. ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ is a far bigger and far more challenging question than ‘Why am ‘I’ here?’ or ‘What happens after death?’

So time for a bit of TV for me, I’ll send this off first.

RESPONDENT: Therefore my brain or this personal entity manufactured by the brain based on the social blueprint has arisen at random, by chance only, depending on which sperm participated in the beginning of the life. My personality was determined by the physical features of this brain.

PETER: Well, this sounds a bit like the little man inside the sperm theory, i.e. who I am depends on which sperm of the millions got to fertilize the egg. Certainly genetic information was passed that determined my physical characteristics but my social identity was purely the result of information inputted into the brain after birth.

‘Who I feel I am’ is essentially instinctual, fated by blind nature; ‘who I think I am’ is essentially social, fettered by nurture.

It’s just serendipitous that I came across Richard who had managed to escape his fate and realise his destiny – to be free of the Human Condition. Millions upon millions of humans have devoted their lives to escaping the Human Condition but were ultimately diverted by the alluring promise of immortality and instinctual desire to save their own souls. Richard is the first to actually escape from the Human Condition and he has laid a trail of over a million words for those interested in emulating his feat.

RESPONDENT: Peter I am a human being. So are you. Period.

PETER: But there is a marked difference – the most pertinent to both your professional and personal interest may be the fact that I live with a woman in utter peace harmony, simply because ‘I’ dared to make it happen. I full-bloodedly took up the challenge that ‘if I couldn’t live with at least one other person in utter peace and harmony (... on my part!) then life on earth is indeed a sick joke.’

You may remember I wrote of my first meeting with Vineeto in my journal –

[Peter]: ... ‘I briefly told her what I was into and said, ‘I want to be able to live with a woman in peace and harmony. I realise that I have been equally responsible for the failures in the past, and I recognise that I will have to clean myself up to do this. But I’m willing to give it one hundred percent. Do you want to give it a try with me?’ When I look back it was quite audacious, but it proved an effective line to get her interested. She explained later that she had previously come to the resolution that she was not going to try and change the other, or resort to blame in any future relationship – so my proposition was very tempting. But it was the ‘one hundred percent’ bit that really got her!’ Peter’s Journal, Living Together

What serendipity to meet her ... but then again, life abounds with unnoticed, or easily dismissed, serendipitous events.

Serendipity is, after all, what happens when you take the opportunity that comes along.

And to finish, I will just dismiss any presumption that intimacy is only possible with others if both parties are willing to undertake a mutual contract such as Vineeto and I did. Whenever anyone is free of the Human Condition of malice and sorrow they are able to be intimate with everyone they meets for the other is a fellow human being after all ... not an ally or an adversary in a perverse and bitter instinctual game of survival or avoidance.

RESPONDENT: Pointing out wrong thinking and watching the awakening that accompanies realization is great sport also.

PETER: My experience of God-men is that they like to ensnare others into loosening their clinging to so-called wrong thinking and twist them into adopting Right thinking solely in order that they can strut their own humble Self-Righteousness in return for admiration, gratitude, love and veneration.

RESPONDENT: *deep bow* Thank you for sharing.

PETER: It’s a pleasure to be able to pass on my experiences of 17 years on the spiritual path.

The other day I came across a woman who was just starting on the spiritual path and who was still shell-shocked at just having visited India for the first time. It struck me at the time, after 17 years of searching for peace and happiness on the spiritual path, how serendipitous it was to have come across an ex-God-man who had discovered something far superior to the hallowed state of Enlightenment – an actual down-to-earth freedom and not a fear-driven escape into an inner spiritual fantasy-land.

This serendipitous event has given me the opportunity to contribute to the de-bunking of the shams and scams of the utterly ‘Self’-centred spiritual path by writing of my experience and making it freely available for others to peruse. And then, on top of that, I get to write of my experience and expertise in utilizing the actualism method to become actually free of the human condition.

Where I come from, sharing is making your experience and expertise freely available for others who are interested – to hide nothing, to sweep nothing under the table.

For a normal person sharing means sharing their feelings of malice and sorrow – what is commonly known as having a gossip, having a whinge, having a bitch, having a heart to heart, connecting, giving support, being honest, etc.

My experience with God-men is they don’t share – they hide much from others and are driven to preach and proselytize to others.

PETER to List C: Well, looks like it is one of those days when it’s a letter to everyone ...

Vineeto is typing one as well besides me now, so there will be a lot of words from the ‘Peter and Vineeto show’...

I do like writing to people personally, and answering questions or objections, but occasionally I like to tell a bit of my story as well, and get it out of the personal arena. The thing, of course, is that this is not anything personal that we are saying. We are talking about an actual freedom from the Human Condition, a condition that afflicts all humans This freedom is available for everyone although it is clear that not everyone will want to take it on. I wanted to give you the motive, the ignition point by telling you about the time when I really decided I would make the search for freedom the most important thing in my life. It is the first chapter in my journal for those who don’t mind a bit of reading ... who can spare the time. (see below)

The other thing I have been musing over is the curious reaction from Sannyasins to my Journal. I liked Sannyas and Sannyasins, particularly in the early days. There was a sense of pioneering, challenging the norm, giving it a boots and all approach. Now I get many people telling me ‘I’m all right’, ‘I’m watching my self’, ‘I’m happy’, ‘Life goes on and I’m going with the flow’, ‘I am already That, all I have to do is realize it’ ‘There is nothing I can do – it is all in God’s hand’s’ etc. etc. Acceptance was always an acceptance of me as I was, whereas if I was honest with myself, I wasn’t the best I could be – I wasn’t free.

That’s all – I want to keep it short, but I just wanted to say this is nothing personal, humans are all inflicted with the same disease. The scientists are starting to isolate the genes, or software, that triggers the instinctual behaviour patterns relating to fear, aggression, nurture and desire – so it is a fact. But now there is a chance to do something about it, in you.

Serendipity is operating for who-ever is reading these words ... the ‘train’ is passing by.

All you get by waiting to live fully ... is more waiting.

So, another little tickle from the keyboard ... it is such an amazing thing to do with your life – to become happy and harmless. Beats becoming God by a country mile!

RESPONDENT: Since you seem to feel you have cornered the market on becoming happy and harmless by using Richard’s methods,

PETER: No, it is freely available to anyone who wishes to change to become happy and harmless. It is entirely up to them. I write precisely to make others aware of this new alternative. I am no one special, I had not a miraculous childhood, I am not specially blessed with great intelligence, or Divine realizations. I simply took an opportunity that serendipitously came my way and decided that as what I had been pursuing for 17 years had not freed me from malice and sorrow, I’d give it 100%.

RESPONDENT: which apparently involved only seeing what is actually right in front of your noses,

PETER: No, it involved an active and relentless period of investigation, contemplation and elimination of both the psychological and psychic entities that dwelled in my head and heart. The churning feelings and emotions that refused to let me, as this body, be here – to fully be the senses – to be these eyes seeing, these ears hearing, these fingers typing and this brain thinking – and to be aware that it is all happening in this very moment. Have you ever contemplated that this universe is happening in this very moment, that there is no master plan, no existence, no God? That there is a vast and actual freedom available right now for those intrepid enough to journey out of the real world and out of the spiritual world. For those willing enough to come to their senses both figuratively and literally.

PETER to No 13: Look, all I am saying is that the facts, the results, don’t stack up with the beliefs and hopes.

What I now live as an actuality 24 hrs. a day, every day, no matter what I am doing, or not doing, far exceeds anything that I have experienced or know is possible to achieve through meditation. I live in the actual physical world and nothing churns in my head or heart. There is direct sensate experiencing that is magical, fairy-tale like, perfect and pure. Colours are vivid, hearing is multi-layered, tastes are sensational, touch is exquisite, interactions with people are invariably delightful, events are serendipitous. The brain is capable of astounding clarity, I can communicate directly with others and reflect on my actions and thoughts. An innocence is readily apparent that has only been wished for before in humans and is beyond my wildest dreams.

This is far superior to Enlightenment. This way you get all of the benefits of Enlightenment and none of the down-sides such as power, delusion, being a Saviour of others, having to spread the message, having disciples follow you, celibacy, ... to name a few.

But you can’t get that by clinging on to any beliefs at all – we are, after all, talking about an actual freedom, a freedom from all the Ancient Wisdom. That appears to be the tough bit, but it is only fear that stops us trying anything new.

RESPONDENT: Each human has a soul or psychic entity? So you too then? If not aren’t you human then? It’s no use speaking in general terms is it?

PETER: The soul or psychic entity is an illusion, but very real in its affective presence in the human body. The primitive self combined with the instinctual programming of fear, aggression, nurture and desire is overlaid with the beliefs that have been instilled as our social identity and forms a feeling of ‘me’ trapped inside this body, looking out on the world. The feeling of not quite fitting in, lost, lonely and frightened – an alien. In the past two years since meeting Richard, this illusionary alien entity within me has been reduced by sincere and honest effort and serendipitous events to the point of non-existence. I say ‘to the point of’ deliberately, as I have yet to experience what Richard experienced as an affective psychological death. Given that my affective capacities are virtually nil, it may well be a whimper rather than a bang. So yes, I am not ‘human’ in your terms in that I am virtually free of the Human Condition of malice and sorrow.

PETER: All of the major Religions and their systems of morals and ethics have as their roots the reported teachings of long dead Masters, Gurus, and Prophets.

RESPONDENT: So what, your crap is also based on Osho, except you don’t have the intelligence to be thankful for everything he gave you including the very language you use...

PETER: I have nothing to be thankful for nor anything to be resentful of Rajneesh. What the whole experience of Sannyas gave me was a unique opportunity. The early days of the ranch years were to experience a following of a religious leader from inspiration, through isolationism and fanaticism, to the brink of martyrdom. To then see the formation of a Religion, witness the splintering into factions and now the inevitable decline, all in some 20 years is indeed serendipitous. What an extraordinary opportunity – I wouldn’t have missed it for quids!

RESPONDENT: As for your experiments in your relationship I think it is really great to have that open of an approach to getting beyond our conditioning. Far too many relationships never bother to question such things. They just seem to blindly go on and no one grows from them to the degree that is possible. I was married for almost 20 years to a wonderful woman and we went through much of what you wrote about. At the end of our marriage it wasn’t out of not caring for each other that we ended it. It was out of a deeper love and openness to the fact that we had different directions to go and freely and lovingly let go of each other. It has been good for both of us and we are still very close to each other.

My last relationship was with another wonderful woman. We were together for 8 years and never had any harsh words toward the other or any problems at all. We are still very close and talk with each other a few times a week. We saw that it was time to move on and did so lovingly. I am much older than her and wanted her to be able to learn from others. She saw my need to be alone to go deeper into what has been my life’s work. I have been a hermit for 12 years now and it has been very good for me. When I talk with people about my relationships that ended they can’t relate to us still being such good friends. As though we should hate each other like too many people do.

PETER: We have totally different approaches to relationships with totally different results. The only thing that brought total success for me in the relationship was in eliminating all my instilled social, cultural and spiritual conditioning in order to get stuck into the animal instinctual passions. The first layer is what most people fiddle around with by trying to find a way of compromising, accommodating or following the latest fashionable theories and beliefs. In past relationships I went from real world male to SNAG and finally had to delete the lot in order to fundamentally change. That was the thrilling bit, for underneath is a not too pretty set of animal passions. I went through many a scary time exposing layers of fear, aggression, nurture and desire that had been covered over by beliefs, ethics and morals. I came to see my social identity as the guardian at the gate of the instinctual passions. It is instilled in us to control them and unless you remove your social identity you can never dig in to explore the underlying survival instincts – ‘me’ at my very core.

What serendipity to find someone who was equally willing to remove absolutely everything that stood in the way of living together in peace and equity. I decided to give it 100% commitment – all or nothing. I came to understand and face the fact that I was at least as much at fault as my partners in all my past failed relationships. I also came to understand and face the fact that in past relationships most of time I was not really living with the woman because I was usually ‘some-where’ else. By ‘some-where’ else I mean avoiding, withdrawn, self-absorbed, resentful, suspicious, defensive, careful, worried, fearful, annoyed, scared, etc. This time I wanted to know that if we did part at any time it would be with me knowing that it was not my fault – that I had given it 100%.

What a delight it is to now live with a woman in easy companionship, where I can simply be myself with no pretence, no effort, no compromises, no bargains, no bonds. I am with her because I enjoy her company in all the activities we do together – just in her ‘being around’. It is delightful to have her as a companion. ‘It’s good you’re here’ is our favourite expression to each other. People around think that we are in love (little do they know!), and that it will wear off, as it always does; or that we are ‘soul mates’, having by some miracle found the ‘right one’. It is silly to worry whether this will last forever or that, given a change in circumstances, either of us may have a different companion at some future time. But I live with her as though it will be forever; totally, with no doubt – one hundred percent!

As you can see, my approach to living with someone in equity, peace and harmony was to bring to an end the process of forever learning, from having good endings, and from continuing to grow and move on. I had already moved on from three relationships and I wanted an end to continually growing and learning – I was challenged to prove that peace on earth was possible in this lifetime. The idea that we grow from our suffering or should be continually moving on is a bit like the idea of a never-ending spiritual search – one is supposed to be in a state of not-knowing, life is a journey to somewhere else, life is a mystery that cannot be solved, etc.

I became vitally interested in peace on earth is this lifetime – with people as-they-are, in the world as-it-is.


RESPONDENT: If you accept where you are, and are comfortable with it, you won’t see what I am trying to say.

PETER: Hardly an hour goes by that I don’t marvel at the innate common sense in this human brain and the serendipitous events that led me out of the spiritual world and revealed the actual world that was sitting here all along, under my very nose as it were. The only way to experience it permanently its to get rid of all illusion, both real world and spiritual world, both ego and soul.


PETER: Oh No 8, you are on record as saying –

[Respondent]: ‘When the ego is seen through ... you go on with the identity, but without the living nightmare of ego’. [endquote].

No mention at all of the ending of soul but you definitely mention that your identity still goes on. Given that one’s identity consists of both ‘who’ we think we are and ‘who’ we feel we are, your experience is limited to the traditional spiritual shift of identity or altered state of consciousness. In this newly awakened state of consciousness one’s personal self, together with the unwanted thoughts and feelings, is transcended as one realizes one’s ego was living a nightmare. Grand feelings of salvation and gratitude swoon in as one feels saved from physical death and feels One with All and above evil and evil thoughts.

This soul-full illusion of a higher self is a fantasy construction built upon the original illusion of self – the psychological and psychic entity that dwells within the flesh and blood body. An illusion built upon an illusion is a delusion.

PETER: It is our fellow human beings, the practical scientists, chemists, engineers, explorers and the like that have given we humans very useful things. The Gurus, philosophers, theoretical scientists and the like have given us nothing but theories, beliefs, concepts, ideas, scenarios, dreams, nightmares, hope and hopelessness. As I began to abandon the spiritual world, I serendipitously discovered someone who had abandoned Enlightenment and had worked out a ruthlessly effective empirical method for eliminating one’s social identity and all of one’s instinctual passions. Give me something that works over an ideal or a theory any day.

RESPONDENT: You’re quite a fundamentalist yourself, Peter. Now you ditch theoretical science and philosophy! I must say that you’re doing very well in taking YOUR position at least. Nobody can accuse you of not standing up for your views.

PETER: An actualist is a more accurate term, for it is not ‘me’ taking a position but the facts speaking for themselves. You could add pragmatist to the description but I’ll leave the word fundamentalist for the religious crowd.

PAUL LOWE: Your system – the mind, the body and the emotions – has been damaged by your conditioning. It is not irreparable and it is damaged. The pressures you live with have put your system out of balance. <Snip> Now you can start to let go. The way you are living is not all right. Deep down, very little has truly felt fine. All that can change now. It is time to move closer to your to your truth and to feel more deeply. It is time to return to your essence of love. Paul Lowe, In Each Moment – A New Way to Live

PETER: Rotten at the core, programmed with a set of animal survival instincts, we love to suffer and we love to fight and yet we are willing to sell our illusionary ‘soul’ to a mythical God or God-man in return for an imaginary life after death. We readily and eagerly swap a selfish feeling of ‘The peace that passeth all understanding’ for an actual peace on earth. All this nonsense comes from ancient superstition and myth – a belief in a life after death fuelled by the human fear of death. A firmly entrenched frantic belief that ‘who one’s essence is’ is really a Godly spirit or immortal soul that dwells within the physical body. This is then upheld as the Truth – the basis of all spiritual belief is but a fairy story aimed at perpetuating and aggrandizing this alien psychological and instinctual entity rather than eliminating it.

From The Actual Freedom Trust Glossary – (a bit of ancient writing from the last millennium)

body The physical and corporeal nature of a human; flesh as opposed to soul or spirit. Oxford Dictionary

Peter: The flesh and blood body which sees, hears, smells, touches, thinks, reflects and speaks as distinct from the psychological and psychic entity within (who I think and feel I am) that neurotically controls, is fearful and aggressive, feels lost and lonely, and desperately fears death.

Spiritual wisdom has it that the spirit or soul is real and the physical body/mind is but an illusion. The physical body is imagined as the seat of lustful carnal desire and the mind (ego) as the seat of selfish, evil, and non-divine thought. The soul, the imagined seat of the good feelings, is seen as the ‘spirit’ within the body, able to survive the death of the body. The spiritual solution to the human dilemma of malice and sorrow involves actively cultivating the soul – the ‘good’ feelings – into a distinct, superior, God-fantasizing identity. This new spiritual identity is then in total denial of, and transcendent to, the more unpleasant aspects of the body’s instinctual programming that produces lust, anger, despair, violence, fear and depression. To fantasize of a ‘good’ and immortal ‘spirit’ dwelling within an ‘evil’ and, very obviously, mortal body is to deny the fact of that humans actually are – instinctually-driven flesh and blood bodies, able to think and reflect.

The Human Condition that enslaves the human body in malice and sorrow is essentially a neuro-biological condition. It is firmly based on the formation of a social identity imposed over an instinctual based primitive self – installed by blind nature to insure the species’ survival. It is only when we firmly face this fact, cease denying it, and cease believing the fantasy story of a spirit-world, can we sensibly get down to the business at hand – ridding ourselves of the neuro-biological instinctual programming of the human brain. When one does, one discovers that the instinctual programming is exactly analogous to software in a computer – it is nothing more than how the hardware of the brain has been programmed to operate and function, and being software, the whole lot can be disposed of, deleted, eradicated. What is discovered is that the human flesh and blood body, freed of the pernicious restriction of a personal, instinct-based ‘self’, is able to operate at its optimum, to its full potential – freed of malicious and sorrowful feelings.

In actualism, it is possible to eliminate the psychological and psychic entity such that one becomes this flesh and blood body only, wondering at the perfection and purity of the physical universe. All is then delightful, easy, carefree, serendipitous and perfect. The Actual Freedom Trust Glossary

Well, I know I could be accused of flogging a dead horse and if the horse were in fact dead I would indeed find another hobby. But religion is alive and flourishing and while it is, peace on this fair planet will remain but an impossible dream.

Me-thinks that as an atheist, vitally interested in peace, I have a lifelong hobby.


PAUL LOWE: Your complaints are all on the surface of life. When you identify with problems – having a relationship, not having a relationship, money, work issues – you are not going to be happy. Even when you do feel happy, it usually does not last very long. When you are ready to drop to source, an experience even more expanded than ‘happy’ is available. The source is the one that is being aware of what is happening on the surface – but it is not being the surface. Paul Lowe, In Each Moment – A New Way to Live

PETER: So, no chance to be happy on ‘the surface of life’. By surface of life he means the real world ‘outside’, as evidenced by the entity who is ‘inside’ looking out through the eyes, hearing through the ears, smelling through the nose, etc. To retreat further from the physical world by focusing on becoming detached and disassociated from the physical world as evidenced by the senses, only means one is becoming twice removed from the actual world. One more firmly identifies as ‘the one that is being aware’ rather than working to eliminate the ‘I’ who thinks and feels him or herself as being aware.

When there is no ‘I’ being aware, a bare awareness happens by itself which brings an easy, delightful and serendipitous ease to each moment. One can then makes any adjustments necessary to ensure that any remaining problems left over from one’s ‘self’-centred life are eliminated. These are usually few as, while on the path to Actual Freedom, one has changed so radically that most of these problems will have been sensibly tackled, addressed or eliminated. The path to Actual Freedom does require radical change and this, more often than not, requires a change in the practical circumstances of relationship, work, money, friends, etc.

Becoming actually happy and harmless does require change and, curiously enough, it is becoming harmless that requires the most radical change.

Peter’s Selected Correspondence Index

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