Vineeto ~ Selected Writings

So when finally I came across Richard and found a simple, straightforward method to actually get rid of emotions, instincts, the ‘self’ as well as the illusion of the very big ‘Self’, I was really interested! Here was someone who stated that there was more freedom possible than even enlightenment offered! Having come this far, having explored so many other approaches in my life and moved on when I saw that they failed, I did not want to turn away from this opportunity.

More freedom than enlightenment? Yes! More freedom than believing somebody else’s experience and trusting His method of meditation, despite seventeen years of no reliable results? Yes! A practical simple method, and the tangible lasting success that I was increasingly experiencing living with Peter in a way that far exceeded any relationship in the past? Yes!

After all I am a rather practical woman and I like things that work! I like a car that drives, a computer that functions quickly and smoothly and a job that is fun. And I appreciate immensely a method that cleans me up, makes me happy and harmless, and rids me of the burden of my imaginary, yet very effective two selves – ‘self’ and ‘Self’, ego and soul. It took me a few months though, to gather enough courage to change gear and direction, but since then the journey has been a wonderful and delicious adventure, sprinkled only occasionally with a few quivers of fear.

Another part of the female agenda was the desire to change the world by nurturing means: education and social work. After I had dismissed revolutionary changes as not applicable, I thought people could be taught to be more happy by ‘right’ education and by changing people’s social conditions. But after working with drug-addicts for two years I had to admit failure. I had nothing to teach them; I was as ignorant as they were, and I had no solutions for society’s misfits, let alone myself.

Along with my social-work studies came an interest in therapy, both for myself and for my work. I tried most of the Human Growth groups available. I expressed and re-evaluated all the different emotions and examined every possible issue but it did not really get to the bottom of the matter. I continued in later years with ‘spiritual’ therapies, where psychological understanding was combined with devotion, awareness and meditation. In terms of freedom I looked for redemption from misery, fear, anger, jealousy, dependency, tension and self-doubt. Every approach had a slightly different answer, though none offered lasting solutions.

After I met Peter and began to use Richard’s new method of examining and stripping away beliefs, I was challenged by the success of our continuously improving relationship. My life was becoming easier, happier and more thrilling every time I explored a new issue. However, I found myself quite torn apart because I was also desperately trying to hold on to my old ways. I was afraid to leave the fold – this imaginary ‘community’ where right and wrong was clearly defined and confirmed by everyone around me. I was trying to live in two worlds at the same time. Loyalty to the Master became quite a gut-churning issue. How could I dare to question His love, His authority, His power, His great vision? How could I be a traitor, stepping away yet again from another group that had provided me with meaning and a sense of belonging as well as financial and emotional security?

To question all of the values agreed upon by humanity was, of course, not possible without re-instating and lubricating my common sense, my intelligence. It had originally been trained in school and university, but had been distorted and weakened through my conditioning as a girl, a woman and later as a spiritual seeker. To release this common sense out of the cupboard and to start using it in order to understand the actual and factual world was essential for me to be able to distinguish belief from fact and silly from sensible. Every time I recognized a belief as just ‘taken on’ from some authority, it faded into irrelevance and left me with this new thrilling experience of freedom, confidence, autonomy and equity. After all, intelligence is possible in all human beings, it simply needs to be re-instated, polished and exercised, disentangled from beliefs and superstitions and freed from the stupidity of instincts and emotions.