Actual Freedom – Mailing List ‘B’ Correspondence

Richard’s Correspondence on Mailing List ‘B’

with Respondent No. 39

Some Of The Topics Covered

freedom from the Human Condition – PCE – sensuousness – self-immolation – how am I experiencing this moment of being alive – delight – pure intent – Ancient Wisdom of not pursuing it – wanting peace – honesty – perfection – description of PCE – eliminating instincts – abandoning humanity

September 23 1999:

RICHARD: An actual freedom from the human condition is different from Enlightenment in that it is most definitely substantial: there is no transcendence, for I have neither sorrow nor malice anywhere at all to rise above via sublimation. They have vanished entirely, leaving me both blithesome and benign – carefree and harmless – which leads to a most remarkable state of affairs <SNIP FOR SPACE> Thus the search for meaning amidst the debris of the much-vaunted human hopes and dreams and schemes has come to its timely end. With the end of both ‘I’ and ‘me’, the distance or separation between both ‘I’ and ‘me’ and these sense organs – and thus the external world – disappears. To be living as the senses is to live a clear and clean awareness – apperception – a pure consciousness experience of the world as-it-is. Because there is no ‘I’ as a thinker (a little person inside one’s head) or a ‘me’ as a feeler (a little person in one’s heart) – to have sensations happen to them, I am the sensations. The entire affective faculty vanishes ... blind nature’s software package of instinctual passions is deleted. There is nothing except the series of sensations which happen ... not happening to an ‘I’ or a ‘me’ but just happening ... moment by moment ... one after another. To live life as these sensations, as distinct from having them, engenders the most astonishing sense of freedom and magic. Consequently, I am living in peace and tranquillity; a meaningful peace and tranquillity. Life is intrinsically purposeful, the reason for existence lies openly all around. Being in this very air I live in, I am constantly aware of it; I breathe it in and out; I see it, I hear it, I taste it, I smell it, I touch it, all of the time. It never goes away – nor has it ever been away – it was just that ‘I’ and/or ‘me’ was standing in the way of the meaning of life being apparent. Life is not a vale of tears.

RESPONDENT: Thank you for this post Richard. I understand you to say that a PCE is experiencing the world as it actually is.

RICHARD: Yes, the direct (unmediated) experiencing of the actuality of people, things and events (the physical world) is a far, far cry from experiencing the ‘reality’ imposed as a veneer over the actual by who ‘I’ think and feel and instinctively ‘know’ that ‘I’ am. To be ‘normal’ is as if one has grey-coloured glasses on ... when one takes them off (in this analogy) the world is bright, fresh and ever-new ... one is now living in the infinitude of this fairy-tale-like actual universe with its sensuous quality of magical perfection and purity where everything and everyone has a lustre, a brilliance, a vividness, an intensity and a marvellous, wondrous, scintillating vitality that makes everything alive and sparkling. This ‘aliveness’ is the very actuality of all existence ... the actualness of everything and everyone.

In this analogy, to become enlightened is to put rose-coloured glasses (love and beauty) on over the top of the grey glasses.

RESPONDENT: This insight has certainly increased my awareness. Is the key to actual freedom then living as the senses which is distinct from having them?

RICHARD: Yes, sensuousness is the wondrous awareness of the marvel of being here now at this moment in time and this place in space – which awareness is combined with the fascination of contemplating that this moment is one’s only moment of being alive – and one is never alive at any other time than now. And, wherever one is ... now ... one is always here ... now ... even if one starts walking over to ‘there’ ... now ... along the way to ‘there’ ... now ... one is always here ... now ... and when one arrives ‘there’ ... now ... it too is here ... now. Thus awareness is an attraction to the fact that one is always here – and it is already now – and as one is already here and it is always now then one has arrived before one starts. Such delicious wonder fosters the innate condition of naiveté (which is the closest ‘I’ can get to innocence) the nourishing of which is essential if the charm of it all is to occur. The potent combination of awareness – fascinated reflective contemplation – and sensuousness produces apperception, which happens when the mind becomes aware of itself (‘I’ disappear). One is intimately aware that the physical space of this universe is infinite and its time is eternal ... thus the infinitude of this very material universe has no beginning and no ending and therefore no middle. There are no edges to this universe, which means that there is no centre, either. We are all coming from nowhere and are not going anywhere for there is nowhere to come from nor anywhere to go to. We are nowhere in particular ... which means we are anywhere at all. In the infinitude of the universe one finds oneself to be already here, and as it is always now, one can not get away from this place in space and this moment in time. By being here as-this-body one finds that this moment in time has no duration as in ‘now’ and ‘then’ – because the immediate is the ultimate – and that this place in space has no distance as in ‘here’ and ‘there’ – for the relative is the absolute.

In other words: one always here as it is already now.

September 24 1999:

RESPONDENT: I can see that when the mind becomes aware of itself ‘I’ and ‘me’ disappears and that I am the senses. I also see that this sensuousness produces a PCE. I can also see that thru increased awareness it is possible to do this on a consistent basis. My question is: Can I permanently disappear the ‘I’ and the ‘me’?

RICHARD: Speaking personally, I did not ‘permanently disappear the ‘I’ and the ‘me’’ ... it was the identity that did all the work. Who you think and feel and instinctively ‘know’ yourself to be has a job to do: When ‘I’ willingly self-immolate – psychologically and psychically – then ‘I’ am making the most noble sacrifice that ‘I’ can make for oneself and all humankind ... for ‘I’ am what ‘I’ hold most dear. It is ‘my’ moment of glory. It is ‘my’ crowning achievement ... it makes ‘my’ petty life all worth while. It is not an event to be missed ... to physically die without having experienced what it is like to become dead is such a waste of a life.

There is an intrinsic trait common to all sentient beings: self-sacrifice. This trait can be observed in almost all animals – it is especially easy to see in the ‘higher-order’ animals – mainly with the parental defending of the young to the point of fatal injury leading to death. Defending the group against another group is also simple to observe ... it manifests in humans in the way that one will passionately defend oneself and one’s group to the death if it is deemed necessary. Speaking personally, as a youth this self-sacrificing trait impelled me to go to war for ‘my’ country ... to ‘willingly lay down my life for kith and kin’. It is a very powerful passion indeed ... Christianity, to give just one example, values it very highly: ‘No greater love hath he that lay down his life for another’. However, all of ‘my’ instincts – the instinctive drive for biological survival – come to the fore when psychologically and psychically threatened, for ‘I’ am confused about ‘my’ presence, confounding ‘my’ survival and the body’s survival. Nevertheless, ‘my’ survival being paramount could not be further from the truth, for ‘I’ need play no part any more in perpetuating physical existence (which is the primal purpose of the instinctual animal ‘self’). ‘I’ am no longer necessary at all. In fact, ‘I’ am nowadays a hindrance. With all of ‘my’ beliefs, values, creeds, ethics and other doctrinaire disabilities, ‘I’ am a menace to the body. ‘I’ am ready to die (to allow the body to be killed) for a cause and ‘I’ will willingly sacrifice physical existence for a ‘Noble Ideal’ ... and reap ‘my’ post-mortem reward: immortality.

This trait is called altruism ... albeit misplaced.

Thus it is ‘I’ that is responsible for an action that results in ‘my’ own demise ... without really doing the expunging itself (and I am not being tricky here). It is ‘I’ that is the cause of bringing about this sacrifice in that ‘I’ deliberately and consciously and with knowledge aforethought set in motion a ‘process’ that will ensure ‘my’ demise. (‘I’ do not really end ‘myself’ in that ‘I’ do not do the deed itself for an ‘I’ cannot end itself). What ‘I’ do, voluntarily and willingly, is to press the button which precipitates an oft-times alarming but always thrilling momentum that will result in ‘my’ inevitable self-immolation. What one does is that one dedicates oneself to the challenge of being here as the universe’s experience of itself ... now. Peace-on-earth is the inevitable result because it is already here ... it is always now. ‘I’ was merely standing in the way of this already always existing peace-on-earth from becoming apparent.

The act of initiating this ‘process’ is altruism, pure and simple.

October 17 1999:

RICHARD: This actual world is so perfect, so pure, that it does not need protection ... there is no good or evil here. This is because nothing ‘dirty’ can get in (as in ‘I’ can never experience the actual). ‘I’ as ego and ‘me’ as soul must die – become extinct – for the actual to become apparent. In other words: Step out of the ‘real’ world into this actual world of pristine perfection by leaving ‘yourself’ behind in the ‘Land of Lament’ ... where ‘you’ belong.

RESPONDENT: Okay Richard, I saw this actual world when I was having a PCE and now it is a memory. What now?

RICHARD: What is essential to success is to precipitate pure consciousness experiences (they are your personal verification that this is not all a matter of belief, trust, faith and hope) because they are your ‘guide’, your ‘teacher’, your ‘authority’ and so on ... the PCE is the inerrant lodestone in that it is a direct experience of the actual ... which is peace-on-earth, in this lifetime, as this flesh and blood body. As peace-on-earth is already always here (it is only ‘I’ and/or ‘me’ that is standing in the way) then it is patently obvious that a PCE can only happen now. If one is not experiencing perfection at this moment then there is something one can look into so as to determine why not.

Thus one asks oneself, each moment again: ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’

It is also essential for success to grasp the fact that this is your only moment of being alive. The past, although it did happen, is not actual now. The future, though it will happen, is not actual now. Only now is actual. Yesterday’s happiness and harmlessness does not mean a thing if one is miserable and malicious now ... and a hoped-for happiness and harmlessness tomorrow is to but waste this moment of being alive in waiting. All you get by waiting is more waiting. Thus any ‘change’ can only happen now. The jumping in point is always here ... it is at this moment in time and this place in space. Thus, if you miss it this time around, hey presto ... you have another chance immediately. Life is excellent at providing opportunities like this. It takes some doing to start off with, but as success after success starts to multiply exponentially, it becomes automatic to have this question running as an on-going thing ... because it delivers the goods right here and now ... not off into some indeterminate future.

Thus one asks oneself, each moment again: ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’

As one knows that it is possible to experience this moment in time and this place in space as perfection personified, ‘I’ set the minimum standard of experience for myself: feeling good. If ‘I’ am not feeling good then ‘I’ have something to look at to find out why. What has happened, between the last time ‘I’ felt good and now? When did ‘I’ feel good last? Five minutes ago? Five hours ago? What happened to end that good feeling? Ah ... yes: ‘He said that and ...’. Or: ‘She didn’t do this and I ...’. Or: ‘What I wanted was ...’. Or: ‘I didn’t do ...’. And so on and so on ... one does not have to trace back into one’s childhood ... usually no more than yesterday afternoon at the most.

Thus one asks oneself, each moment again: ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’

By finding out what triggered off the loss of feeling good, one commences another period of enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive. It is all about being here at this moment in time and this place in space ... and if you are not feeling good you have no chance whatsoever of being here in this actual world (a glum and grumpy person locks themselves out of the perfect purity of this moment and place). Of course, once you get the knack of this, one up-levels ‘feeling good’, as a bottom line each moment again, to ‘feeling happy’. And after that: ‘feeling perfect’. These are all feelings, this is not perfection personified yet ... but then again, feeling perfect for twenty three hours and fifty nine minutes a day is way beyond normal human expectations anyway (which is illustrated by what you wrote some time ago. Vis.: [Respondent]: ‘I am not at this time still experiencing a PCE but I am much more aware of my senses and I am enjoying my life more. For example the battery went dead on my truck today and I had to have it replaced. This was actually an enjoyable experience and I was nice to the people at the auto repair. I genuinely liked them even though the battery only lasted one year. I treated them like human beings’).

Thus one asks oneself, each moment again: ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’

Also, it is a very tricky way of both getting men fully into their feelings for the first time in their life and getting women to examine their feelings one by one instead of being run by a basketful of them all at once. One starts to feel ‘alive’ for the first time in one’s life. Being ‘alive’ is to be paying attention – exclusive attention – to this moment in time and this place in space. This attention becomes fascination ... and fascination leads to reflective contemplation. Then – and only then – apperception can occur ... which happens when the mind becomes aware of itself. Apperception is an awareness of consciousness. It is not ‘I’ being aware of ‘me’ being conscious; it is the mind’s awareness of itself. Apperception – a way of seeing that is arrived at by reflective and fascinated contemplative thought – is when ‘I’ cease thinking and thinking takes place of its own accord ... and ‘me’ disappears along with all the feelings. Such a mind, being free of the thinker and the feeler – ‘I’ as ego and ‘me’ as soul – is capable of immense clarity and purity.

One is automatically benevolent and benign.

October 17 1999:

RESPONDENT: Okay Richard, I like the question ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ and I am going to live with it.

RICHARD: The first thing I did when I first stepped upon the wide and wondrous path to an actual freedom was to put an end to anger once and for all ... then ‘I’ was freed enough to live in a virtual freedom. It took ‘me’ about three weeks and I have never experienced anger since then. The first and crucial step was to say ‘YES’ to being here on earth, for ‘I’ located and identified that basic resentment that all people that I have spoken to have. To wit: ‘I didn’t ask to be born!’

This is why remembering a PCE is so important for success for it shows one, first hand, that freedom is already always here ... now. With the memory of that crystal-clear perfection held firmly in mind, that basic resentment vanishes forever, and then it is a relatively easy task to eliminate anger once and for all. One does this by neither expressing or repressing anger when an event happens that would previously trigger an outbreak. Anger is thus put into a bind, and the third alternative hoves into view, dispensing with the hostility that is a large part of ‘I’ the aggressive psychological entity, and gently ushering in an increasing ease and generosity of character. With this growing magnanimity, one becomes more and more anonymous, more and more selflessly motivated. With this expanding altruism one becomes less and less self-centred, less and less egocentric ... the humanitarian ideals of peace, kindness, caring, benevolence and humaneness become more and more evident as an actuality.

And all this while I asked ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive? ... and the essential character of the perfection of the physical infinitude of this material universe was enabled by ‘my’ concurrence. This enabling is experienced as a ‘pure intent’ running as a ‘golden thread’, as it were, from the purity and perfection of the PCE to that little-used faculty: naiveté (which is the closest one can get to innocence). Thus the thing to do is to live, each moment again, a virtual freedom wherein the ‘good’ feelings – the affectionate and desirable emotions and passions (those that are loving and trusting) are minimised along with the ‘bad’ feelings – the hostile and invidious emotions and passions (those that are hateful and fearful) – so that one is free to feel good, feel happy and feel perfect for 99% of the time. If one minimises the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings and activates the felicitous/ innocuous feelings – happiness, delight, appreciation, joie de vivre/ bonhomie, friendliness, amiability and so on – in conjunction with sensuousness – then the ensuing sense of amazement, marvel and wonder can result in apperceptiveness.

Delight is what is humanly possibly, given sufficient pure intent obtained from the felicity/ innocuity born of the pure consciousness experience, and from the position of delight, one can vitalise one’s joie de vivre by the amazement at the fun of it all ... and then one can – with sufficient abandon – become over-joyed and move into marvelling at being here and doing this business called being alive. Then one is no longer just intellectually making sense of life ... the wonder of it all drives all intellectual sense away. Such delicious wonder fosters the innate condition of naiveté the nourishing of which is essential if the charm of it all is to occur. Then, as one gazes intently at the world about by glancing lightly with sensuously caressing eyes, out of the corner of one’s eye comes – sweetly – the magical fairy-tale-like paradise that this verdant earth actually is ... and I am the experiencing of what is happening.

But try not to possess it and make it your own ... or else ‘twill vanish as softly as it appeared.

October 19 1999:

RESPONDENT: Yes, two things stand out: pure intent and don’t possess it. I am looking at pure intent to see if I have it and I am on guard to not pursue it or possess it.

RICHARD: You say that ‘two things stand out’ ... yet you slip in a third thing as if I had said it (‘to not pursue it’) when it is really ‘ancient wisdom’ that promotes that view. Speaking personally, the ‘I’ that was pursued it like ‘he’ had never pursued anything before ... ‘he’ made it the number one priority in ‘his’ life. ‘He’ was a married man, with four children, running ‘his’ own business, with a house mortgage to pay off and a car on hire purchase ... in other words: normal. And all the while that ‘he’ pursued it, ‘he’ was working twelve-fourteen hour days, six-seven days a week ... yet ‘his’ pursuit of peace-on-earth took absolute precedence over all other matters and dominated ‘his’ every moment (‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive’). I do not see how someone can become free of the human condition without becoming what one’s peers would call ‘obsessed’ (for that is how a 100% commitment is actively discouraged by others) and adopting instead a duplicitous ‘I will not pursue that which I desire’ attitude. It is unbelievably delicious to devote oneself wholeheartedly to such a valuable goal as peace-on-earth ... one starts to feel ‘alive’ for the very first time. Such dedication (‘he’ called it the ‘boots and all’ approach at the time) makes one’s petty life worthwhile after all ... ‘he’ went out in a blaze of glory.

However, you are not the only person adopting this stance of not pursuing it ... there are others on this Mailing List that like to think that by feigning a non-pursuit that they will achieve something. Just how this sleight-of-hand (or should I say sleight-of-mind) is going to be efficacious in bringing about the desired result remains to be seen. Nevertheless, such dissimulation is not unknown ... some Buddhists too, indulge in a similar craftiness. They pretend that they do not desire Nirvana ... in the hope that they will thus achieve it. Some Christians, maintaining that to be alive is to remain a sinner, manifest a spurious humility in order to be worthy of God’s Grace and admission into Heaven whilst all the while saying that they are not worthy. Some Hindus maintain that by not enjoying the fruits of their labour they will gain the ultimate fruit of such labour ... called Moksha. The same sort of sanctimony holds true for many other religions and disciplines.

And so, all the wars and murders and rapes and tortures and domestic violence and child abuse and sadness and loneliness and grief and depression and suicides go on for ever and a day.

October 22 1999:

RESPONDENT: Yes, two things stand out: pure intent and don’t possess it. I am looking at pure intent to see if I have it and I am on guard to not pursue it or possess it.

RICHARD: You say that ‘two things stand out’ ... yet you slip in a third thing as if I had said it (‘to not pursue it’) when it is really ‘ancient wisdom’ that promotes that view. Speaking personally, the ‘I’ that was pursued it like ‘he’ had never pursued anything before ... ‘he’ made it the number one priority in ‘his’ life. ‘He’ was a married man, with four children, running ‘his’ own business, with a house mortgage to pay off and a car on hire purchase ... in other words: normal. And all the while that ‘he’ pursued it, ‘he’ was working twelve-fourteen hour days, six-seven days a week ... yet ‘his’ pursuit of peace-on-earth took absolute precedence over all other matters and dominated ‘his’ every moment (‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive’). I do not see how someone can become free of the human condition without becoming what one’s peers would call ‘obsessed’ (for that is how a 100% commitment is actively discouraged by others) and adopting instead a duplicitous ‘I will not pursue that which I desire’ attitude. It is unbelievably delicious to devote oneself wholeheartedly to such a valuable goal as peace-on-earth ... one starts to feel ‘alive’ for the very first time. Such dedication (‘he’ called it the ‘boots and all’ approach at the time) makes one’s petty life worthwhile after all ... ‘he’ went out in a blaze of glory. However, you are not the only person adopting this stance of not pursuing it ... there are others on this Mailing List that like to think that by feigning a non-pursuit that they will achieve something. Just how this sleight-of-hand (or should I say sleight-of-mind) is going to be efficacious in bringing about the desired result remains to be seen. Nevertheless, such dissimulation is not unknown ... some Buddhists too, indulge in a similar craftiness. They pretend that they do not desire Nirvana ... in the hope that they will thus achieve it. Some Christians, maintaining that to be alive is to remain a sinner, manifest a spurious humility in order to be worthy of God’s Grace and admission into Heaven whilst all the while saying that they are not worthy. Some Hindus maintain that by not enjoying the fruits of their labour they will gain the ultimate fruit of such labour ... called Moksha. The same sort of sanctimony holds true for many other religions and disciplines. And so, all the wars and murders and rapes and tortures and domestic violence and child abuse and sadness and loneliness and grief and depression and suicides go on for ever and a day.

RESPONDENT: I don’t have pure intent. Possessing and pursuing looks the same I’m living with the question ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ and it is making a difference. I want to live as my senses.

RICHARD: Put it this way: do you have the intent to spend the remainder of your life on this verdant planet having malice and sorrow as a backdrop to your every waking moment? Which means that, although you may have shorter or longer periods of being carefree and considerate, greater or lesser moments of gaiety and benevolence, bigger or smaller interludes of being blithesome and benign and so on, do you have the intent to retain and maintain the current base-line of your day-to-day life (which is the fall-back position of animosity and anguish that requires the time-honoured coping methods to keep your head above water) until the day that you die? If your answer is ‘YES’ then you do not have pure intent, you are not pursuing happiness and harmlessness and you will not have a problem with ‘possessiveness’ about peace-on-earth.

If your answer is ‘NO’ then you are already somewhat pursuing peace-on-earth, with at least a trace of pure intent, and the ‘problem’ of automatically trying to ‘possess’ freedom when it occurs will inevitably arise as you have success after success at inducing pure consciousness experiences (PCE’s). The name of the game is to be able to ‘live as your senses’ more and more and for longer and longer periods (and to want this is to pursue it) and to the degree you do not make the instinctual ‘grab’ for ownership of these moments is the degree to which these moments will be prolonged ... and these moments are where you learn what it is to be free by direct experience instead of reading about it.

Honesty with oneself is paramount – a dishonest approach will produce a dishonest result – and unless one is scrupulously candid one is in danger of being swept up in the Glamour and Glory and Glitz of the ‘Enlightened State’ and suffer the delusion that one is god on earth (an embodiment of the ‘supreme intelligence’ that is beyond time and space and form) ... replete with that spurious ‘Peace That Passeth All Understanding’.

It is possible.

October 30 1999:

RESPONDENT: Yes, two things stand out: pure intent and don’t possess it. I am looking at pure intent to see if I have it and I am on guard to not pursue it or possess it.

RICHARD: You say that ‘two things stand out’ ... yet you slip in a third thing as if I had said it (‘to not pursue it’) when it is really ‘ancient wisdom’ that promotes that view. Speaking personally, the ‘I’ that was pursued it like ‘he’ had never pursued anything before ... ‘he’ made it the number one priority in ‘his’ life. ‘He’ was a married man, with four children, running ‘his’ own business, with a house mortgage to pay off and a car on hire purchase ... in other words: normal. And all the while that ‘he’ pursued it, ‘he’ was working twelve-fourteen hour days, six-seven days a week ... yet ‘his’ pursuit of peace-on-earth took absolute precedence over all other matters and dominated ‘his’ every moment (‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive’).

RESPONDENT No. 3: Eido Rochi of Dai Bosatsu Zendo once said to us (mid 80s) that if we want enlightenment, we must want it as a drowning man wants air; that the closer we come to it, the more compelling it will be, of itself.

RESPONDENT: I experienced the actual today and it is so clear that it is always right here right now because it is what actually is. The closest description I can give is that it was a direct experience of everything as it was happening. Everything was perfect as it is and I was where I should be. There was perfect clarity.

RICHARD: Excellent ... I take particular note of where you say ‘everything was perfect as it is and I was where I should be’ because it indicates that perfection is already always here at this place in space at this moment in time ... it is, as it always has been, already consummate. Which means, peace-on-earth already is here – here in this actual world – and no one needs to invent it. It is all a matter of entering into it; enabling it to become apparent; allowing it to emerge; watching it unfold; giving oneself permission to have it happen ... or whatever description. Everyone is either rushing about trying to make an imitation peace (either the secular ‘peace-time’ truce between warring parties or the spurious supernatural after-death ‘Peace That Passeth All Understanding’) ... or sitting back moaning and groaning about the inequity of it all. Nobody has devised, concocted or contrived this peace-on-earth ... it was already here as it always has been and always will be.

A woman I was associating with, some time ago, wrote a description of a PCE ... maybe it will strike a responsive chord. Vis.:

• [quote]: ‘One of my peak experiences happened on the fore-shore. All of a sudden, unpremeditated, ‘I’ and ‘my’ world-view had disappeared and an immediate intimacy became apparent. Although I had lived in this village before and had grown very fond of it and its residents, there had always been a distance between me and other people, which had to be bridged by temporary feelings of love and affection which were never satisfying for long. Now a shift in seeing had occurred, and looking at the people around me, I noticed that the distance between me and others had miraculously vanished. Not only between me and other people but equally between me and the trees, me and the houses on the boulevard, even between me and the ocean. Nowhere was there a boundary. Another dimension had taken its place, which I initially experienced as a closeness closer than my own heartbeat, yet it was certainly not love for all or oneness with everything. It was another paradigm than the one in which the opposites play their major role ... and to depict it I needed another vocabulary than words like distant and close, separation and oneness. Opposites can only be used when there is a stationary benchmark to judge them by. When ‘I’, the standard from which everything was measured, ceased to be, a pure appraisal of the situation could take place. I saw everybody, including me as-this-body, and everything else, in its own proper place and nothing was wrong in any way. The concept of bonding, belonging and relationship could simply not be applied, not even with my partner, as there was nobody inside to do the relating. This perfect intimacy was everywhere at once, not generated somewhere specific and then diffused to other locations as is the case with love’. [endquote].

November 16 1999:

RICHARD: The physical solution (extinction of instinctual ‘being’ itself) will not eventuate unless the physically inherited cause (a genetically inherited instinctual animal ‘self’) that created the problem of the human condition is intimately experienced. (...) Is it not obvious that all the animosity and anguish that has beset humankind throughout millennia comes from that which is a lot deeper than ‘the thinker is the thought’ ... all the misery and mayhem stems from an animal energy which is much, much more powerful than thought, thoughts and thinking. (...) One has to want to be free from the human condition like one has never wanted anything before. Because unless one is vitally interested in peace on earth one will never even begin to free the crippled intelligence from the debilitating passions bestowed by blind nature. Yet becoming vitally interested is but the preliminary stage, because until one becomes curious as to whether what is being written here about genetic inheritance can be applied to themselves, only then does the first step begin. For it is only when one becomes curious about the workings of oneself – what makes one tick – is that person participating in their search for freedom for the first time in their life. This is because people mostly look to rearranging their beliefs and truths as being sufficient effort ... ‘I’ am willing to be free as long as ‘I’ can remain ‘me’. In other words: their notion of freedom is a ‘clip-on’. Then curiosity becomes fascination ... and then the fun begins to gain a momentum of its own. One is drawn inexorably further and further towards one’s destiny ... fascination leads to commitment and one can know when one’s commitment is approaching a 100% commitment because others around one will classify one as ‘obsessed’ (in spite of all their rhetoric a 100% commitment to evoking peace-on-earth is actively discouraged by one’s peers). Eventually one realises that one is on one’s own in this, the adventure of a life-time, and a peculiar tenacity that enables one to proceed against all odds ensues. Then one takes the penultimate step ... one abandons ‘humanity’. An actual freedom from the human condition then unfolds its inevitable destiny.

RESPONDENT: I’m not clear as to how one eliminates the instincts after one has become intimate with them and then has a 100% commitment. Does this happen on its own or is there something that I need to do?

RICHARD: It happens on its own in that, as ‘I’ am the instinctual passions and the instinctual passions are ‘me’, there is no way that ‘I’ can end ‘me’. What ‘I’ do is that ‘I’ deliberately and consciously and with knowledge aforethought set in motion a ‘process’ that will ensure ‘my’ demise. What ‘I’ do, voluntarily and willingly, is to press the button – which is to acquiesce – which precipitates an oft-times alarming but always thrilling momentum that will result in ‘my’ inevitable self-immolation. The acquiescing is that one thus dedicates oneself to being here as the universe’s experience of itself now ... it is the unreserved !YES! to being alive as this flesh and blood body. Peace-on-earth is the inevitable result of such devotion because it is already here ... it is always here now. ‘I’ and/or ‘me’ was merely standing in the way of the already always existing perfect purity from becoming apparent by sitting back and moaning and groaning about the inequity of it all (as epitomised in ‘I didn’t ask to be born’). How can one be forever sticking one’s toe in and testing out the waters and yet expect to be able to look at oneself in the mirror each morning with dignity.

The act of initiating this ‘process’ – acquiescence – is to embrace death.

The 100% commitment happens of its own accord too; unlike the commitment one normally makes as a vow or a resolution (which can be broken after a lot of ‘soul-searching’ and heart-ache) the 100% commitment cannot be undone. This means one is already committed to finding out and there is no pulling back – which is why most people do not want to start – because once one has started, one cannot stop ... it is a one-way trip.

The 100% commitment is primarily born out of the pure consciousness experience (PCE) as once one has experienced perfection one simply cannot settle for second-best (or worse). As a PCE is a short-term direct seeing, unmediated by ‘I’ and/or ‘me’, then when the PCE is over the fun begins. Because one must start from where one is at and move towards enabling what the PCE demonstrates ... that ‘I’ and/or ‘me’ is standing in the way of the already always existing peace-on-earth from being apparent. This ‘starting from where one is’ is where intimately experiencing the physically inherited cause (a genetically inherited instinctual animal ‘self’) that created the problem of the human condition comes into play ... one needs to know experientially what it is that one is made up off (‘I’ need to experientially know what makes ‘me’ tick).

This experiential knowing – in conjunction with the experiential knowing of the PCE – relieves one from trusting, believing, hoping and having faith as there is now a confidence, born out of the certainty of direct experience, that enables one to activate naiveté (sans gullibility) in one’s daily life. It is this naïve confidence (which is the nearest one can approximate innocence whilst still being an identity) that produces moment-to-moment successes, for there is the impelling movement of actualising perfection – being pulled from ahead – which is what comes from the pure intent that ensues with being activated by the consummate purity as evidenced in the PCE. This is qualitatively different from a propelling movement – being pushed from behind – which is what comes from the disciplined action that eventuates with being motivated by certitude (derived second-hand via trusting, believing, hoping and having faith).

This impelling momentum – being drawn ineluctably to one’s destiny – is the thrilling part of it.

RESPONDENT: Are you saying that when the time is right I simply abandon the instincts?

RICHARD: One abandons ‘humanity’. And one knows ‘when the time is ripe’ because one finds out these things as they are happening or after they have happened and the realisation that this abandon is actually happening is stimulating, to say the least (there are weird feelings such as ‘a rat deserting a sinking ship’ to feel for example). One will no longer belong anymore to the largest group there is ... ‘humanity’ (which is way, way past all gender groups, racial groups, age groups and other social groups).

One realises that one is on one’s own in this, the adventure of a life-time, as an actuality.

Continued on in General Correspondence Page Five: No. 03

Continued on from General Correspondence Page Five: No. 03

November 13 2000:

RICHARD: The physical (sensate) pain/ pleasure is essential in negotiating the physical world ... the process of it is a straightforward cause/ effect feedback system. The process of the emotional (affective) pain/pleasure has to do with the instinctual survival passions ... which have become superannuated (they reached their ‘use-by date’ long ago) and are now a dead-weight around the neck of humankind.

RESPONDENT: I think what your saying here is that the instinctive survival passions are a process of the psyche in that they are emotional (affective).

RICHARD: Yes ... commonly called the ‘inner world’.

RESPONDENT: Once these instinctual survival passions are eliminated what then is the response to danger such as overwhelming physical attack?

RICHARD: An intelligent response.

RESPONDENT: Without the fight or flight response how does one deal with this type of situation?

RICHARD: Fearlessly. The instinctual passion of fear triggers any one of three reactions: freeze, flight or fight ... none of which are necessarily appropriate when dealing with the most common aggressor (human beings) in today’s world. In this day and age negotiation is by far the most efficacious response to a threatening situation. And fear – adrenaline coursing through the veins; the heart pumping furiously; the palms sweaty; the face blanched white; knuckles gripped; body tensed and so on and so on – cripples effective negotiation and is hardly conducive to a healthy outcome. Of course one still has the option to freeze or flee or fight if that is what the situation calls for ... with the added advantage of such action not being fear-driven (or courage-driven). Foolish courage – an impulse sourced in fear – can cause one to take needless risks.

There was a fanciful movie released circa 1995-6 called ‘Fearless’ by Mr. Peter Weir which gives the wrong impression of what being without fear is like ... ‘Foolhardy’ would be a better title.

RESPONDENT: Does the organism still respond to this type of situation?

RICHARD: The split-second bodily ‘startle’ or ‘reflex’ action still operates – the process of which is a straightforward cause/effect feedback system – as it is the instinctual passions which are non-existent (along with all their conditioned and cultivated extensions).

RESPONDENT: Also, is it possible to overcome or eliminate the instinctual survival passions through insight?

RICHARD: An insight can be the catalyst to set in motion a train of events leading to the elimination of the instinctual passions ... but the actual moment of dissolution is something else entirely.

November 14 2000:

RESPONDENT: Without the fight or flight response how does one deal with this type of situation?

RICHARD: Fearlessly. The instinctual passion of fear triggers any one of three reactions: freeze, flight or fight ... none of which are necessarily appropriate when dealing with the most common aggressor (human beings) in today’s world. In this day and age negotiation is by far the most efficacious response to a threatening situation. And fear – adrenaline coursing through the veins; the heart pumping furiously; the palms sweaty; the face blanched white; knuckles gripped; body tensed and so on and so on – cripples effective negotiation and is hardly conducive to a healthy outcome. Of course one still has the option to freeze or flee or fight if that is what the situation calls for ... with the added advantage of such action not being fear-driven (or courage-driven).

RESPONDENT: I am still doubtful as to how one has the supernormal strength to deal with a sudden surprising overpowering attack without the boost from adrenaline. Are you saying that one still has this added strength if needed even without the adrenaline?

RICHARD: Yes ... adrenaline equals effort (usually followed by debilitation).

*

RICHARD: Foolish courage – an impulse sourced in fear – can cause one to take needless risks. There was a fanciful movie released circa 1995-6 called ‘Fearless’ by Mr. Peter Weir which gives the wrong impression of what being without fear is like ... ‘Foolhardy’ would be a better title.

RESPONDENT: I saw that movie starring Jeff Bridges and Rosie Perez. I liked the movie and I remember fantasizing what it would be like to be without fear. I understand what you are saying about the movie’s version of being fearless as ‘foolhardy’ in that it promoted taking ‘needless risks’.

RICHARD: I find that I take more care these days than when the instinctual passions were operating ... when walking with another, for a simple example, they will zip across a busy street whereas I wait for an adequate break in the traffic.

*

RESPONDENT: Does the organism still respond to this type of situation?

RICHARD: The split-second bodily ‘startle’ or ‘reflex’ action still operates – the process of which is a straightforward cause/effect feedback system – as it is the instinctual passions which are non-existent (along with all their conditioned and cultivated extensions).

RESPONDENT: I understand what you are saying about the ‘straightforward cause/effect feedback system’ but as I stated above I am still doubtful about the supernormal strength that comes from adrenaline being available when and if needed.

RICHARD: Having one’s activities occasioned in and by/as the infinitude of eternal time, infinite space and perpetual matter/energy in action – as appropriate to and only available as per the circumstances – is far, far better than an adrenaline boost any day.

December 07 2000:

RICHARD: The archives of the Mailing List in question are in the public domain ... anyone can subscribe; anyone can access them; it is all computer automated; no human vets subscription and/or access; it is an un-moderated list.

RESPONDENT: For what it’s worth, I didn’t find this ‘Mailing List in question’ to be un-moderated at all.

RICHARD: It is definitely an un-moderated list ... all E-Mails posted are automatically duplicated and copies are sent out to all subscribers via a fully computerised process. No posts are viewed, let alone vetted, by a human before release for mass publication.

RESPONDENT: I found it to be extremely moderated seeing as how I wasn’t free to be there unless I wanted to be a true-believing Actualist who practices Actualism.

RICHARD: It would appear that you are tilting against what may seem to be an insurmountable problem for some people: a name, a classification, a descriptive label. However, it is impossible to be ‘a true-believing Actualist who practices Actualism’ because belief – the very activity of believing per se – prevents one from ever being an actualist and thus blocks one from ever experiencing what actualism is all about. Perhaps some dictionary definitions (which is where the names originate) will throw some light upon the matter for you? Vis.:

• materialism (noun): the doctrine that nothing exists except matter and its movements and modifications and that consciousness and will are wholly due to the operation of material agencies: materialist (noun): an adherent of materialism: materialistic (adjective): pertaining to, characterised by, or devoted to materialism.
• spiritualism (noun): the doctrine that the spirit exists as distinct from matter, or that spirit is the only reality; any philosophical or religious doctrine stressing the importance of spiritual as opposed to material things: spiritualist (noun): an adherent of spiritualism who regards or interprets things from a spiritual point of view: spiritualistic (adjective): of or pertaining to spiritualism.
• actualism (noun): the theory that nothing is merely passive (now rare): actualist (noun): an advocate of actualism: actualistic (adjective): of the nature of actualism.

In the English language, the application of ‘-ist’ and ‘-ism’ has a very common usage ... it enables someone to say, for example, ‘I am an artist’ or ‘I am a scientist’ or ‘I am a pianist’ or ‘I am an atheist’ or ‘I am a communist’ or ‘I am an actualist’ (and so on) and ‘I am studying feudalism’ or ‘I am learning about existentialism’ or ‘I am interested in relativism’ or ‘I am exploring actualism’ (and so on). It may be helpful to give an example of how this simplification into a single word, of what would otherwise be a long-winded description each time one talked about oneself and one’s interests, actually works in practise ... when I first wrote to this Mailing List over two and a half years ago the following exchange took place:

• [Richard]: ‘This flesh and blood body is very simple. It is the identity that is complex ... because it is a mental-emotional construct. Being thus imaginary, it can be almost infinitely complex.
• [Respondent]: ‘What is flesh and blood about the mind?
• [Richard]: ‘If by ‘the mind’ you mean ‘consciousness’ – as in being awake and conscious as compared with being asleep or unconscious – then it is very much a product of flesh and blood. When the body dies, consciousness dies. Death is the end. Finish.
• [Respondent]: ‘Are you a materialist? Certainly all evidence points to the dependence of mind on body, but that does not mean that the one is the other. I am dependent on eating food, but I am not the food.
• [Richard]: ‘Well, speaking personally, I am indeed the food. I come out of the ground in the form of carrots, lettuce, celery, and etcetera. When I eat cheese, it is made from milk which the cow produces by eating grass – which comes out of the ground. The same goes for eggs and meat ... everything edible. This body is, literally, of the ground. Along with water, sunlight and air, everything comes out of the ground – from this very earth under my feet. As this earth is hanging in space, then it is clear that I am made of the very stuff of the physical universe. I was not created ‘outside’ of this universe by some mysterious god and planted ‘in’ here for some inscrutable reason. I am the universe experiencing itself as a sensate, reflective human being. I am this body only ... and this body is of this physical universe. If that makes me a ‘materialist’ then so be it ... I am certainly not a ‘spiritualist’. However, I find the word ‘materialist’ too restrictive, for it implies deadness, inertness. I would rather call myself an ‘actualist’. An actualist is a person who sees that matter is not merely passive. (http://flp.cs.tu-berlin.de:1895/listening-l/html/archive9802/msg01181.html).

I am only too happy to expand on this subject if the above explanation leaves you unsatisfied ... after all it was me who chose the names ‘actualist’ and ‘actualism’ out of the dictionary when I first started writing about my discovery that there is an actual world right under everybody’s nose, as it were. This actual world is evidenced in a pure consciousness experience (PCE) in all its sensuous quality of magical perfection and purity. This actual world is where everything and everybody has a lustre, a brilliance, a vividness, an intensity and a marvellous, wondrous, scintillating vitality that makes everything alive and sparkling ... even the very earth beneath one’s feet. There is an actual intimacy with everything – the rocks, the concrete buildings, a piece of paper – literally everything is as if it were alive (a rock is not, of course, alive as humans are, or as animals are, or as trees are). This ‘aliveness’ is the very actuality of all existence – the actualness of everything and everybody – for one is not living in an inert universe.

Speaking personally, I am very happy to call myself an actualist ... and I thoroughly recommend a study of actualism.

RESPONDENT: I don’t see anything free or un-moderated about that.

RICHARD: It may be worth your while to subscribe to a moderated list so as to experience its censorship first-hand; you will possibly find the experience brain-numbing ... and thus eye-opening. I consider that un-moderated mailing lists are second to none in regards to an egalitarian sharing of a breadth of experience and thought. The ‘free for all’ approach – reminiscent of parliamentary privilege – allows for an uninhibited expression and questioning in that discussion cannot devolve into the scratching, clawing, wrestling, fisticuffs or whatever other way peoples traditionally go about their search for freedom, peace and harmony.

The free-flow of information – instantly – is what the internet is all about.

December 24 2000:

RESPONDENT: Richard, to try and simplify your message, I think basically what you are saying is that the outer world is the only thing that is actual. The inner world is imaginary and is not actual. Is this basically what you are saying?

RICHARD: Yes.

December 25 2000:

RESPONDENT: Richard, to try and simplify your message, I think basically what you are saying is that the outer world is the only thing that is actual. The inner world is imaginary and is not actual. Is this basically what you are saying?

RICHARD: Yes.

RESPONDENT: Thank you, I agree with this.

RICHARD: Good ... of course there are no ‘inner’ and ‘outer’ worlds in actuality ... there is only the world of this body and that body and every body; the world of the mountains and the streams; the world of the trees and the flowers; the world of the clouds in the sky by day and the stars in the firmament by night and so on and so on ad infinitum.

This fact is stunningly obvious in a pure consciousness experience (PCE).

January 27 2001:

RESPONDENT No. 45: Many feelings are felt only when the thinker is thinking on it, but when the thinker stops and there’s silence those feelings also stop, seeming that the thinker and the feeler are only the two sides of the same coin. On the other hand, when observing a sunrise and the conscious thinking is stopped a feeling of beauty can also rise in silence, seeming that the thinker and the feeler are different. The feeler seems to be a thinking-dependent process in the first case and independent of conscious thinking in the second.

RICHARD: The ‘thinking-dependent process in the first case’ is all-too-common and leads to the notion that thought creates feelings. They do not ... thought can only trigger off the prior existing feelings.

RESPONDENT: Are you saying here that thought triggers off the prior existing feelings that are being generated by the instinctual passions? In other words the feeling is already there before the thought?

RICHARD: Yes. The second case (the thoughtless ‘feeling of beauty’ described further above) is the demonstration of this being factual (as is the instant instinctive feeling of fear, for another example, in an imminently dangerous situation). It has been exhaustively tested and scientifically (repeatable on demand) demonstrated that feelings come before thought in the perception-reaction process.

And the child, from birth onwards at least, develops an emotional memory of danger and safety in the ‘reptilian brain’, even before thought, thoughts and thinking commences, as an environmentally-learned supplement to the instinctual passions genetically endowed. There is some research indicating that this ‘environmental-learning’ begins in the womb (through the baby’s more positive response to the mother’s voice-tone, after birth, as contrasted a more negative response to a stranger’s voice-tone).

I did not know of any research when I started to actively discover all this 20 or more years ago: I was the biological progenitor of four children and I was able to intimately participate in the child’s world thanks to the deliberate activation of naiveté (despite the recognised risk of becoming a fool, a simpleton). And, as I was a single parent for a number of years, it became increasingly and transparently obvious that the instinctual passions – the entire affective faculty in fact – was the root cause of all the ills of humankind. One has to actually dare to care, of course, before it is transparently obvious ... which is a very dangerous thing to do

For to dare to care is to care to dare.


CORRESPONDENT No. 39 (Part Two)

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