December 20, 2024

JESUSCARLOS: Yesterday I had a fundamentally bad time. At times neutral. But very rarely good. Let’s not say very good. This is in stark contrast to my experience on Tuesday night, where I deeply contacted my naivety and experienced a lot of pleasure in simply being alive. Today I woke up again with physical (I think I have a flu) and emotional discomfort. But within these few hours of the morning, I was able to feel good again. And I remember again how it is essential to make the decision to feel good, to choose to feel good and not follow old inclinations. It is a habit that I must overcome and now that I feel better I can observe it more carefully: I have resentment for the simple fact of being alive and that things are not always the way “I” want them. It may help to analyze why I want what I want, but if I look closer, I recognize that what I want is recognition. I long for recognition. I won’t say more because I will be observing that need throughout the day and finding a way to free myself from it.

VINEETO: Hi JesusCarlos,

This reaction seems quite natural. I see that in your previous post you said –

JesusCarlos: But this began to happen after rereading this wonderful text: (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Ian, 16 December 2024) and Claudiu and Kuba’s last reflections, regarding how unnecessary I am now. […]

Isn’t it amazing that you were be able to so quickly “feel good again”, due to having made “the decision to feel good”.

Longing “for recognition” is not something superficial, it is an inbuilt feature of the human condition. You not only “long for recognition”, ‘you’ need it for ‘your’ very existence. ‘You’, the identity’, being a contingent ‘being’, cannot exist on ‘your’ own – ‘you’ require constant confirmation to justify and confirm ‘your’ existence, else ‘your’ non-substantial nature will become apparent. With this comes a desire to hide and a fear of being exposed as a fraud, an impostor. I remember feeling being ‘Vineeto’s’ reaction to this alarming discovery quite well.

‘Vineeto’: … this guilt of ‘being a being’ is intrinsic to every human being. The only way I became aware of this basic layer of guilt of being a ‘self’ was by repeated exposure to the perfection, purity and innocence as experienced in a ‘self’-less PCE. The more I experience purity and perfection, when this flesh and blood body is free from any identity whatsoever, the more I know, as soon as ‘I’ return, that ‘I’ am a fraud, an intruder, an alien entity, a fake – I undeniably know that ‘I’ am not the genuine article. (Actualism, Vineeto, AF List, No. 38c, 28.8.2002)..

‘Vineeto’: Once I made the commitment to become free ‘I’ then agreed to be discovered and to be dismantled … and there is an inherent joy and relief in no longer having to hide that ‘I’ am in fact a fraud. (Actualism, Vineeto, Aactual Freedom List, No. 32b, 6.3.2005)

Richard: Fear – existential angst at finding oneself to be the contingent ‘being’ one always suspected oneself to be – is both the barrier and the way to freedom. Always included in fear is a thrilling aspect, and by focussing upon this and not fear itself, an energy gathers momentum which does the trick for one (thrilling as in an exciting sensation through the body, stirring, stimulating, electrifying, rousing, moving, gripping, hair-raising, riveting, joyful, pleasing, throbbing, trembling, tremulous, quivering, shivering, fluttering, shuddering and vibrating).
‘I’ cannot set ‘myself’ free ... but ‘I’ can set in motion a process that will lead to ‘my’ eventual demise. (Richard, List B, 12a, 18 July 1998)

So you see, you discovered straight away what the solution to longing “for recognition” will ultimately be.

Cheers Vineeto (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Jesus Carlos, 20 December 2024).

October 21 2025

ANDREW: Thanks Vineeto.

It reminds me of a comedian who recently talked about general anxiety, where he had thought it was perfectly normal to a certain way around people. (Video-clip)

VINEETO: Hi Andrew,

This is the basic instinctual programming of ‘what can I eat, what can eat me’ at its most basic. It expresses itself emotionally and in varying strength. You can observe it in animals, from the jellyfish to the most developed mammal, and of course in humans.

I was quite surprised about its complete absence when I first became actually free, even though I knew it would happen. I was even wondering how I would get along without this constant instinctual compass, how to deal with other human beings. It turned out to be utterly fine and deliciously intimate to only meet flesh-and-blood bodies. Intelligence is indeed sufficient to assess each and every situation sensibly and act accordingly.

Now, Richard discovered and described a process where one can not only subdue/ suppress/ repress those instinctual passions via the age-old laws of conduct, dating back millennia to some god/goddess or bodiless entity, but that one can, with pure intent, whittle away both the social identity and passions and feelings and eventually manumit the physical body from the entire instinctual-emotional identity as well.

ANDREW: It’s less of a warrior, and more of a worrier. I know this because although I do remember saying what you remembered, it was I believe borrowed from someone else saying it, and when I heard them say it, I identified with it heavily. I was in my mid-twenties, in a large corporate setting talking to the drafting manager. At the same time I had been going through extreme psych/ spiritual events whilst leaving Christianity only a few years prior. The process went on for around 5 years. In that time I had even given myself a new private name, which was coupled with (in hindsight) sub-clinical hallucinations both visual and auditory.

One of the things I had been contemplating in the last few weeks was the amount of terror I suppress. Specifically related to Christianity and the otherwise ghoulish nature of the doctrines of hell and sin. The medieval invention of hell, with its Dante and others horror was more real to me than I had previously thought. Wired into me, and intertwined with everyday anxiety which might be considered more “everyday” and normal.

VINEETO: I appreciate your detailed feedback.

You must have been particularly sensitive and impressible in that the doctrines and descriptions of hell and horror left such a lasting and persistent mark of terror on you.

ANDREW: It may all well be something very normal, as there was always this sense that I was craving notoriety, that I had “no excuse” and craved something to explain my ineptitude.

However, even typing that out I can see the “sin nature” doctrine speaking, That I am forever doomed except by the grace of god.

VINEETO: It looks as if you haven’t left Christianity completely behind yet, at least there is still the belief of the devilish and divine interference of some supernatural being operating. Are you perhaps able to remember an early PCE where you experienced that everything is already perfect? (Check out FAQ 64a, How to Induce a PCE? for inspiration).

It was an insight from a PCE which enabled feeling being ‘Vineeto’ to finally be done with any belief in God whatsoever. But she had already loosened up the belief in the Christianity via Eastern spirituality where a human being is ‘God’ on earth and then questioned the validity of that claim via sensible contemplation. Viz.:

‘Vineeto’: Finally one evening, when talking and musing about the universe, I fully comprehended that this physical universe is actually infinite. The universe being without boundaries or an edge means that it is impossible, practically, for God to exist. In order to have created the universe or to be in control of it God would have to exist outside of it – and there is no outside! This insight hit me like a thunderbolt. My fear of God and of his representatives collapsed and lost its very substance by this obvious realisation. In fact, there can be no one outside of this infinite universe who is pulling the strings of punishment and reward, heaven and hell – or, according to Eastern tradition, granting enlightenment or leaving me with the eternal karma of endless lives in misery.

This insight presupposes, of course, that there is no place other than the physical universe, no celestial, mystical realm where gods and ghosts exist. It also implies that there is no life before or after death and that the body simply dies when it dies. I needed quite some courage to face and accept this simple fact – to give up all beliefs in an after-life or a ‘spirit-life’.

But I could easily observe that as soon as I gave up the idea of any imaginary existence other than the tangible, physical universe, everything, which had seemed so complicated and impossible to understand became graspable, evident, obvious and imminently clear.

When the enormous consequence and implication of slipping out of this insidious belief in any God or Higher Being dawned on me, I was at the same time free of anybody’s authority. I was free of the fear that had been spoiling every relationship with every man in my life: father, brothers, male friends and boyfriends, employers, teachers and Master. (A Bit of Vineeto, #oneevening)

ANDREW: It would seem that I have only one MO that has results, disappear then cause (in my mind) a “stir” and by someone else’s “grace” get saved. If only for a few weeks.

VINEETO: Ha, that is not very a satisfying way to live, is it?

ANDREW: It’s always been a huge source of guilt, that I would desire there to be something “wrong” with me. Whilst these entire time, there was indeed always something that was “off” but it was not directly those things at all.

Thanks.

VINEETO: Guilt is a terrible weapon of dominance, and Christianity is as responsible of wielding it as any other religion. What allowed ‘Vineeto’ to reduce and whittle down ‘her’ guilt of being alive – such as having to be useful to be allowed to take up space, apart from the guilt of being ‘bad’, sinful, disobedient, unenlightened and all the rest – was the factual understanding (confirmed by the PCE, but also via the sensible explanations from Richard who had first made sense of it) how the human condition operates. It also made it clear that ‘she’, like every other human being, is in this situation by no fault of her own.

Richard: The term ‘Human Condition’ is a universally-accepted philosophical expression referring to the situation all human beings find themselves in when they emerge as babies on this verdant and azure planet which begat the human race and whereat humankind flourishes. This well-known phrase refers to the contrary and perverse nature of all peoples of all races and all cultures down through the ages. There is ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in everyone; all humans have a ‘dark side’ to their affective-psychic nature and a ‘light side’.

The battle betwixt ‘Good and Evil’ has raged since time immemorial and it requires constant vigilance lest sorrow, with its ever-attendant malice, gains the upper hand. An admixture of social mores and cultural folkways seek to control the wayward self which lurks deep within the human breast; and some semblance of peace – an ad hoc and uneasy truce – prevails for the main. Wherever virtuous morality and principled ethicality fails to curb this ‘savage beast’ some form of law and order is maintained – albeit, ultimately at the point of a gun – by state-sanctioned policing. (Richard, Abditorium, Human Condition).

Richard: As I slowly started to unravel the mess that humankind was deeply mired in by unravelling it in me, I discovered a second layer under ‘my’ acculturated ethnicity ... ‘I’ was brainwashed into being a ‘man’ and not simply a flesh and blood male body. Under the enculturated layers lies a further identity ... the genetically-inherited animal ‘self’. It took me years and years of exploration and discovery to find out that ‘I’ was a ‘me’ – a ‘being’ – and not simply a flesh and blood body. By identification as ‘me’, a psychological/ psychic entity was able to ‘possess’ this body. It is not unlike those Christians who are said to be possessed by an evil entity and require exorcism. Only this ‘possession’ was called being normal. Therefore, every human being is thus possessed by an ‘alien entity’ ... I discovered that a ‘walk-in’ was in control of this body and that this ‘walk-in’ was ‘me’. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 12a, 28 January 1999).

There is more as that correspondence continues but this part already explains that being normal means being possessed by “‘me’, a psychological/ psychic entity”, who, because ‘I’ am not actual, naturally feels guilty and afraid to be exposed as a fake. No god of any description is even necessary to instil this guilt for being a contingent ‘being’ [non-factual, dependant on the existence of the instinctual-passional identity], it comes with the genetically endowed package at birth. Gods/ Goddesses are invented to justify feeling the guilt in the first place. It is my guess that those fictitious deities and supernatural beings wouldn’t have the convincing power they have over human feelings if the guilt of being a ‘being’ wasn’t there in each person to begin with.

When ‘Vineeto’ increasingly understood this, ‘her’ guilt of ‘being’ was gradually dislodged by recognizing that ‘she’ could do something about ‘her’ situation – ‘she’ could reduce the power of the ‘self’ by becoming more and more happy and harmless and enjoying and appreciating being here. To explain in short – ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings enhance the identity while felicitous and innocuous feelings diminish the identity and thus sincerity is able to reduce/ even dissipate the guilt or unease being an impostor. Being ruthlessly honest and sincere is an essential ingredient to stop hiding and become naïve, enjoying the adventure of unravelling the mysteries of the way we tick and the conditions we are born into.

So, Andrew, you can safely abandon the terror and guilt of the god of the Bible or the god of Spinoza or any other Supernatural deity now that you know where the guilt originates, coupled with the good news that you can do something about the source of your unease of being a ‘being’.

I suggest you read it slowly, it is at first mind-boggling but will make sense if you allow common sense (rather than defence and terror) to operate.

Cheers Vineeto (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Andrew, 21 October 2025).

October 22 2025

VINEETO: It is my guess that those fictitious deities and supernatural beings wouldn’t have the convincing power they have over human feelings if the guilt of being a ‘being’ wasn’t there in each person to begin with.

ANDREW: Thank you Vineeto!

This quote above, supports something that has been in my thinking lately, at least it’s a similar insight. That ‘being’ uses ‘morality’ and indeed any ‘value’ system at all, as a tool. the ‘self’ is surviving through the very tools which are “supposedly” keeping it in check!

VINEETO: Yes. Now when you instead of the subtle detachment by calling it ‘being’ or ‘self’ you boldly acknowledge that ‘you’ are this very ‘being’ or ‘self’, the sentences would read like this –

[example only]: ‘I’ use morality and any ‘value’ system at all, as a tool. ‘I’ am surviving through the very tools which are “supposedly” keeping ‘me’ in check! [end example].

What this does, it puts the choice right back where it belongs – ‘you’ can now choose to do something about it. You can decide to reduce the dominance of ‘me’ by diminishing malice and sorrow, by becoming more felicitous and innocuous via the actualism method as described. (This Moment of Being Alive)

ANDREW: It “seems” that it is keeping us in check, but I suspect that’s only part of it, that it’s intrinsically linked to the ‘self’.

Richard: A social identity is a psychological creation manufactured by society to act as a guardian over the wayward rudimentary self one was born with. All sentient beings are born with a biologically coded instinctive drive for physical survival which, when one is operating and functioning with a group of people, is potentially a danger to the survival of other group members. Hence the need for principles and morals and ethics to regulate the conduct of each person ... with appropriate rewards and punishments to ensure compliance.

In a well-meant but ultimately short-sighted effort to prevent gaols from being filled to over-flowing, a social identity – a psychological guardian – is fabricated in an earnest endeavour to prevent the offences from happening in the first place. This ‘guardian’ is programmed with a set of values and charged with the role of acting as a conscience over the wayward self. A conscience is made up of a sure knowledge of what is Right or Wrong and Good or Bad ... as determined by each society. By and large this enterprise has proved to be effective – only a small minority of citizens fail to behave in a socially acceptable manner. (Library, Topics, Social Identity).

As such the social identity is as much an aspect of ‘you’ as the instinctual passions which the social mores are attempting to curb.

Richard: One can become aware of all the socialisation, of all the conditioning, of all the programming, of all the methods and techniques that were used to control what one finds oneself to be ... a wayward ego and compliant soul careering around in confusion and illusion. A ‘mature adult’ is actually a lost, lonely, frightened and cunning psychological entity overlaying a psychic ‘being’. (Library, Topics, Social Identity).

However, this suggestion comes with a warning –

Richard: Warning: It is an utterly fundamental proviso that pure intent be dedicatorily in place – as an overriding/ overarching life-devotional goal which takes absolute precedence over all else – before any such whittling away of the otherwise essential societal/ cultural conditioning be undertaken. [Emphases added]. (Library, Topics, Social Identity).

I gave you the whole picture regarding guilt in the last message and this one in order that you can comprehend the origin of your guilt and therefore your beliefs in deities and demons may be understood as a hopeful/ terrifying diversion from the very reason why you experience an unease about being a contingent [non-factual, dependant] ‘being’. Recognizing these facts allow you take remedial action. I can also recommend Richard, Selected Correspondence, Guilt and Richard, Catalogue, Sin with links to follow for further information.

ANDREW: Like you said the gods had an easy time as all the aspects of the ‘self’ where already in place, the highly social, yet immensely ‘selfish’ entity uses all of these inventions, primarily to survive as a ‘self’.

Thanks Andrew

VINEETO: It can certainly help you in being more kind to yourself.

Cheers Vineeto (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Andrew2, 22 October 2025).

November 13 2025

VINEETO: Yes, the real-world rules, morals and dogmas operate in opposites and have only two alternatives. There is a third alternative.

CHRONO: Weirdly has taken me a longer time to figure that out experientially. I just had this realization about sexual desire and why I have “trouble” with it. It occurs in every human being to some extent, so why am I making a big deal out of its occurrence? And I finally realized it, it’s because of repression. There’s a guilt surrounding it as I mentioned previously. But what if there was no guilt? Then I am somehow morally reprehensible. As I previously saw that ‘I’ cannot end ‘me’ and ‘I’ am already born this way, then there’s no taking blame for my feeling this desire. I understand better now where you say:

Vineeto: As for the second aspect of the “feeling of guilt” because “you are disregarding your partner” – when you deliberate shift your focus of interest from personal sexual satisfaction only to intimacy, the whole nature of sexual congress will change in the direction of including your partner, as a fellow play-mate, in the direct (bodily) intimacy of sexual congress. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Chrono2, 31 October 2025)

VINEETO: To ease the pressure of what was originally repressed may take some persistence because repression happened not only because of the “feeling of guilt” but also because it is something unfamiliar to be explored/ experienced as to what happens when you lift the lid, so to speak. It helps to be a friend to yourself and be gentle and consciously enjoy the adventure, without back-pressure from yourself. Richard’s second part of the quote explains why it has never really been allowed to be explored naïvely.

CHRONO: And also this section from Article 2 in Richard’s Journal I am able to see in operation:

Richard: Yet I discover that this actual world – in which this body is living – easily fulfils all the longings and desires that are commonly channelled into the Spiritual Realms. (…)

Why then would people rather be Sacred, Spiritual, Holy … not actual? Because their only alternative is to be vulgar, worldly, pagan … which they associate with the Diabolical, the Demonic, the Sinister. Enmeshed in a world-view wherein everything is divided into opposites, nobody is able to consider a third alternative: to be actual. In the divided world-view, the actual is never seen, and the physical is perceived to be uncivilised, anarchical, and hedonistic … and categorised by them as being profane. My intent is to find a way to continue to live in this undivided and indivisible actual world as ascertained sensately, instead of the ambivalent world-view of opposites with its necessarily discriminating groups, its opposing camps. (Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Two).

I am understanding now that the shift to intimacy is a different game altogether from the one that gives sexual desire a central role. That is, my focus on getting rid of it won’t work.

VINEETO: Indeed, half the job is to sort out what doesn’t work. The process of getting accustomed/ familiar with naïvely and gently shifting to intimacy in practice, might sometimes appear a balancing act between “holy” and “vulgar”. Don’t fall for either, keep looking for the fun and benevolent way (to yourself and your partner) – the third alternative.

*

VINEETO: Indeed, being in control is the sole function of this contingent ‘being’, ‘me’, the entity which does not exist in its own right and needs to control to prevent being exposed as such. ‘You’ need to keep working hard to justify ‘your’ existence, whereas “it’s actually enjoyable when I don’t”, when you can allow yourself to be what you are. You lessen control by progressively allowing the obstacles to enjoyment and appreciation to disappear via attentiveness and (if necessary) investigation – and thus by imitating the actual.

CHRONO: Yes I recently noticed as it was happening how much that insults and compliments make up this being a someone. If ‘my’ whole point is to survive, then I’m only taking these on personally to survive. And now I have some more cues to look out for.

VINEETO: Ha, it is indeed so, when you look at the content of what your “belonging” really consists of – “insults and compliments” – punishment and reward – made valid by the feeling of power or loss thereof. Another confirmation that you were right when you said “being a “someone” is a serious business” … and ”it’s actually enjoyable when I don’t”.

Cheers Vineeto (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Chrono2, 13 November 2025)

December 11 2025

ANDREW: So… Haha, I always love to open with “So”.

How is it, that such innocence can be the carrier of such destruction?

VINEETO: Hi Andrew,

What innocence? Do you genuinely believe that babies are born innocent – especially after your previous insight on guilt?

Co-Respondent: I’m not out murdering, raping, abusing people and that sort of thing – as many people are not. Is one ‘guilty’ just by having a ‘human nature’?

Richard: Not by having a human nature ... by being human nature (‘I’ am ‘my’ feelings and ‘my’ feelings are ‘me’): ‘I’ am guilty by virtue of ‘my’ very presence: it is ‘me’ as a psychological/psychic ‘being’ (at root an instinctual ‘being’) who is guilty of being harmful just by existing ... but it is not ‘my’ fault as ‘I’ am not to blame for ‘my’ existence (if anything it is blind nature which is at fault or to blame).

In the normal human world one is considered guilty where one does nothing about one’s human nature. Traditionally people try to avoid this ‘doing nothing’ guilt by living in accord with culturally-determined morals and ethics and values and principles and mores and so on. However, when push comes to shove, this thin veneer of civilised life can vanish in an instant and the instinctual survival passions can come surging out in full force …<snip>

The solution to all this is to be found in the actual world: in a pure consciousness experience (PCE), where ‘I’ as ‘my’ feelings am temporarily absent, it will be experienced that one is innocent for the very first time ... in a PCE there is not the slightest trace of guilt whatsoever to be found. ‘Tis a remarkably easy way to live. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 27b, 17 August 2002).

More information at Richard’s Selected Correspondence on Innocence and any other topic which you find fascinating enough to explore further (Richard, Selected Correspondence, Index).

Perhaps some taking advantage of the vast amount of information, freely available on the Actual Freedom Trust website, would be beneficial before you squander your time and energy on having feelings about theories and beliefs that are far from factual?

ANDREW: For context, and to avoid my historical habit of being cryptic and mysterious; my otherwise cheerful, adventurous, and caring mother, has carried and passed on all the horrors of the human condition.

Wow. What a betrayal!

Each of us, grown in the innocence of ignorance and being completely new to being alive at all, carry on this utter insanity!

VINEETO: Again, as ignorance is not innocence, there was no “betrayal” to be outraged or indignant about – “every mother and father in all of history” have been genetically endowed with instinctual passions and furnished with social conditioning and passed this on to the next generation, just as you have done with your own children.

It’s worth contemplating from this angle –

Richard: … “it is not ‘my’ fault as ‘I’ am not to blame for ‘my’ existence (if anything it is blind nature which is at fault or to blame).” (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 27b, 17 August 2002).

Cheers Vineeto (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Andrew3, 11 December 2025).

Andrew: It’s always been a huge source of guilt, that I would desire there to be something “wrong” with me. Whilst these entire time, there was indeed always something that was “off” but it was not directly those things at all. Thanks.

Vineeto: Guilt is a terrible weapon of dominance, and Christianity is as responsible of wielding it as any other religion. What allowed ‘Vineeto’ to reduce and whittle down ‘her’ guilt of being alive – such as having to be useful to be allowed to take up space, apart from the guilt of being ‘bad’, sinful, disobedient, unenlightened and all the rest – was the factual understanding (confirmed by the PCE, but also via the sensible explanations from Richard who had first made sense of it) how the human condition operates. It also made it clear that ‘she’, like every other human being, is in this situation by no fault of her own. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Andrew2, 21 October 2025)