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(List D refers to Richard’s List D
Vineeto’s Correspondence with Andrew on Discuss Actualism Forum
ANDREW: Seriously though, I have swam with these jellyfish as a kid, threw a couple back in from the shallow water the other day, and I have never heard them say anything malicious or sorrowful. VINEETO: Hi Andrew, Perhaps this link gives you a more informative overview why imagining to be like an animal would
not solve the problem of instinctual passions. (see: Sundry, FAQ16 – Why do
you say animals are unhappy? Further information can be found in Richard’s Selected Correspondence on Animals ANDREW: These scientific type statements on the AFT do my head
in; a jellyfish is closer to a tree or mushroom that to me. VINEETO: And yet you said, only 2 hrs later –
It is not your various cells which dictate how you feel and behave, it is your social-instinctual identity who does. When you recognize and acknowledge that you either get angry or withdraw in a particular conversation, you can decide to do something to minimise these feelings with affective attentiveness and sincere intent via applying the actualism method instead of side-stepping the problem. * ANDREW: Regarding “hedonism” I was using it in the way Peter and Richard used it, as in straight colloquial usage of pleasure. I would say that the contradiction of the definition you linked and the many colloquial uses on the AFT leave a large confusion on exactly what was being encouraged when sex is endorsed as something to be explored. In everyday speech, hedonism refers to chasing pleasure for pleasure’s sake. Simple as that. How was that was read as me seeking emotional “pleasure” in physical pleasure or pain, I can sorta see now that I am writing it, because I did say it. That I was leaning into uncomfortable things, including exercise. For context, the thought was in the middle of considering Kuba’s recent reference to sex VINEETO: What you overlooked when Richard used the word ‘hedonism’ “in straight colloquial usage of pleasure” that he clearly states that “actualism, being *most definitely not hedonism*”. He is clearly not encouraging “chasing pleasure for pleasure’s sake” as that would be “narcissistic hedonism”.
I recommend reading the whole section of the above correspondence (1st selection) as this correspondent seems to be misinterpreting the actualism method in a similar way as you presently do.
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I can only say it again for emphasis – nowhere in any of these quotes, taken from the selected correspondence on Hedonism, can I find Richard endorsing the “straight colloquial usage of pleasure”. Perhaps, if you looked up his correspondence, you overlooked the word “anhedonic” and “actualism, being *most definitely not hedonism*”.
ANDREW: Well, that will definitely mean I no longer call it
hedonism. VINEETO: Hi Andrew, There is nothing wrong with using the word ‘hedonism’ if that is what you choose as your modus operandi. If you intend to be “chasing pleasure for pleasure’s sake. Simple as that”, then hedonism is the exact word for this MO. To just say you will no longer “call it hedonism” is not the issue – that is merely changing the label, not the action. The issue is rather, if you want to chase pleasure for pleasure’s sake, i.e. experience the ‘good’ feelings, push away or suppress the bad feelings under the guise. I only wanted to make it clear that this is not the actualism method. ANDREW: These were the types of references I had in mind with allowing pleasure;
VINEETO: Was it this ‘attractive option’ of “indulgent consumption that borders on hedonism” what coloured your understanding when you read Peter’s correspondence? Of course, if one only focuses on feeling being ‘Peter’s’ experiential description one has to ignore that his experience was the result of practicing the actualism method which he described elsewhere, for instance –
And because you referred to Kuba’s recent message about sexual enjoyment
This is to demonstrate that despite ‘Peter’s’ exuberant expression of “living a life of indulgent consumption that borders on hedonism”, it is not a philosophical advice but the lived description of the result of successfully applying the actualism method. Just for completeness, because you seemed to have stopped looking after you found Peter’s quote – here are two examples of feeling being ‘Vineeto’s’ comment on hedonism –
I only present this, plus the series of Richard’s quotes in my last message, to say there was no need for you to misunderstand actualism being equivalent to hedonism, unless you chose to and then hold actualists responsible for leaving a “large confusion” –
As a final clarification a quote from Richard in the Actual Freedom Library –
It would be more beneficial and crowned with success to not put the cart before the horse – in
other words, first removing the obstacles to feeling good as they occur, such as resentment or anger or hurt
(hiding), rather than artificially creating pleasure via practicing hedonism via using alcohol and imagination. When
those obstacles occur, you can look squarely at the feeling on a ‘deep feeling level’
ANDREW: So, if I can frame this as just “having a chat”, instead of what it actually is, a public declaration, (this is searchable public post, and not a private conversation), if I could for the sake of what I am going to type, pretend mutually that it’s a “safe space” (which it is not) then, we can read what I am about to write as if tomorrow neither of us will remember it, because we usually have conversations to be heard and to connect, rather that leave with a dossier on “he said this, and thus… I am on his side, or the other side.” Preamble out of the way, here is the central thought: This iteration of the universe sucks. I really felt genuinely whole saying and thinking this today. A few who know me from before the 2015 trip (which I skipped) will potentially remember how obsessed I am about the words “infinite” and “eternal”. A long time before Actualism, these were the two words that shaped my core ideas. It dawned on me today that this is not the ultimate form of the universe. There is no ultimate form. (This is not a declaration, imagination is key here; we are just chatting). There is, by definition of “infinite” and “eternal” no ultimate form. I felt whole just saying out loud, this universe (this manifestation of infinite and eternal existence) sucks. VINEETO: Hi Andrew, As you would know, actualism is experiential. When there is no identity, either in a PCE or when actual free, the universe is experienced as it factually is – infinite and eternal. It is ‘you’, the identity which creates and experiences the self-centric limitation and boundary to then fill this limited experience with imagination and beliefs/ concepts. As such your “by definition” statement is without substance – it is either philosophical or imaginary, or both. ANDREW: I pushed back at Vineeto about the statement “what I can eat, and what could eat me”. I understand the reference, but found it absurd. I know I can kill and eat chickens. Fish. Give me a sharp stick, and I can have a go at rabbits, sheep, all sorts of creatures. I can kill them and eat them. Yesterday, as I thought about this, I felt completely “whole” when I said out loud “that sucks”. VINEETO: By now, you made it clear that your whole message is an emotional reaction to what I wrote to you six days ago –
I understand from your ‘non-declaration’ that when you say “I pushed back at Vineeto about the statement” means that you do not question the fact of how instinctive/ instinctual passions operate but that you strongly express your displeasure/ resentment about the fact that it is so. You are riling against the way the universe, in this case sentient beings, operate and function. ANDREW: So, what is the point? It’s the infinitude! The infinitude is what is fundamentally enjoyable. This particular express of the infinitude does suck. But, the infinitude itself, the fundamental and essential existence of existence, is essentially what Richard called “pure intent”. Something fundamentally beyond the fact that the “red in tooth and claw” “dog eat dog” “what can I eat and what can eat me” circle of “life” in this out folding of infinite possibilities, is enjoyable. It is able to be experienced perfectly. Even though this current universe requires me to eat other living things, the infinitude itself, is not “tied to” this way of existence. It is existence. It is infinite and eternal existence. VINEETO: There is a fundamental misunderstanding of what infinitude means [infinitude: infinite extent, amount, duration, etc.; a boundless expanse; an unlimited time; (Oxford English Dictionary)] – there is also a fundamental misunderstanding of what pure intent means but that is a topic for another conversation. This short quote from Richard might explain infinitude (there is more in Richard’s selected correspondence on the topic) –
As you say at the beginning of this message “this iteration of the universe sucks”, what you consider infinitude is ‘your’ imagined “iteration” of infinitude, experienced and expressed through the lens of your identity and resentment. The actual physical infinitude, boundless in expanse and time, does not have “iterations”, where suddenly different laws of physics operate, imagined perhaps of the nature that you wouldn’t find objectionable. As such your statement “the infinitude is what is fundamentally enjoyable” is altogether a product of your imagination, an ‘infinitude’ which has enjoyable “iterations” and those which “suck”. ANDREW: Now, so this post has some depth, rather than me (in typical fashion) fill in the gaps in my own head, assuming everyone else is in my head, let me spell it out; I will die, this is the only life that I will ever have. This universe does suck, it suck a lot! But, the infinitude itself, is enjoyable. DNA, Stars, the entire brutality of 4 kelvin being the temperature of the measurable universe, the absence of life in general, and the brutality of the life we know; it’s just one of an infinite potential ways the infinitude can exist. We already know this. We can already imagine a far better way of existing. I could rattle of a handful of ways this universe could be better. I would have to limit myself to a handful. What is the point? This brutal existence, with creatures eating each other, is just another of the infinite ways the universe can … universe. VINEETO: To say “We already know this. We can already imagine a far better way of existing” in one breath is an oxymoron – just because you can imagine something does not mean it is factual. It does not mean you “know this” for a fact, else there was no need to imagine. You already have filled in “the gaps in my own head”, suggesting that the universe you experience is “just one of an infinite potential ways the infinitude can exist”. In other words, you find your idea of infinitude “enjoyable”, while you find the emotional/ passional reality which ‘you’, the identity, experiences, anything but enjoyable. This quote might be informative –
ANDREW: We get the opportunity to free ourselves in this moment, from the very simple and
apparent fact this example of the universe, sucks. VINEETO: Whenever you allow your emotions full reign, as in this post, intelligence doesn’t get much of a chance to operate. By starting with an imagined premise that there are “infinite potential ways” of ‘universe-iterations’ you just dive deeper into imagination and metaphysics. There is indeed “the opportunity to free ourselves” for those who are interested – allow the current strong feelings of resentment subside by neither pushing them away (repressing) nor feeding them (expressing) until you get back to feeling good. Then intelligence will get a word in edgeways. Here is what Richard has to say about dealing with resentment [resentment: an indignant sense of injury or insult received or perceived, a sense of grievance … (Oxford Dictionary)] – best read when feeling good –
* ANDREW: What I see is that I transferred me “fear of god” which I was born into, to a reverence of “the universe”. I couldn’t validate and value my own life, because of this. Like the billions before me, and contemporary to me, revere some higher power. The universe, is not a “higher power”. It’s down to earth. I just so happens that this iteration
“sucks”. It is “down to earth” crap. VINEETO: The physical universe is indeed “down to earth”, and the down-to-earth fact is that it is “boundless in expanse and unlimited in time”. It has always been here and will always be here. It has no “iterations”. To you it “sucks” because this is what your instinctual/ passionate identity informs you of, which operates via the principle of “what can I eat, what can eat me” (in other words, attraction and repulsion), or, in higher animal species, the instinctual passions of fear, aggression, nurture and desire. Regarding consuming nutrients I recommend Richard’s correspondence on this topic – The good news is that “the opportunity to free ourselves” exists, and one can diminish the influence of these passions, both ‘good’ and bad feelings, and its concomitant social identity, by being affectively attentive each moment again with the sincere commitment to feeling good come what may, and use one’s native intelligence to find and eliminate the triggers/ reasons for not feeling good (such as the resentment for being here that you have expressed). Without such firm aim one easily drowns in the continual see-saw of emotions and feelings. Here is what Chrono reported just today –
ANDREW: Hi. I didn’t have anything more to say about the discussion above. I otherwise was “over” trying to work out
how any of this “actualism” was going to work out for me. VINEETO: Hi Andrew, It often is this way – one picks up one end of the stick and runs with it but then missing an overall aspect of the actualism method/ practice, which you are starting to now experientially understand – that “feelings being a detriment to living”. Feelings are indeed “a detriment”, at least both the ‘good’ and the bad feelings, whereas the felicitous/ innocuous feelings are only beneficial to living. Now that you experientially see how “detrimental” and silly it is to nurture those non-felicitous and harmful feelings, the obvious consequence is that they lose their dominance and attraction and “the world around is brighter and more vibrant”. ANDREW: Strangely, over the last few days, another pursuit, has brought ‘me’ into sharp focus. More so that ever before. I have been learning to become a Trader, specifically forex and gold/ oil. I started over a year ago, and was able to do it full time, (sort of) for the last 7 weeks. I thought that I would master it. I am pretty good at picking up skills, and this seemed like something that “if I just had the time” I would get the hang of. Oh! How wrong I was. The entire skill “is” emotional. Yes, there is hundreds of hours of learning, which is very easy to do with AI. Yes, the principles are not “rocket science ”. But, boy oh boy, if it is not “the” Masterclass in feelings being a detriment to living. The simultaneous effect has been my desire to start jogging, and becoming healthier. I feel compelled to increase my cognitive health! I can’t hide! I am exposed! Without meaning to, when I am just doing anything, the world around is brighter and more vibrant. VINEETO: It's fascinating to read how your experiential acknowledgement and understanding that “feelings being a detriment to living” is now giving you the motivation to start living life in a different way, more sensible and salubrious, more happy and appreciative whilst giving less emphasis on philosophically working out the problems of the world. ANDREW: It’s very obvious that the very immediate fact that ‘I’ am in the way of being able to trade effectively, and I have no one else to blame except my feeling reality, is so unintentionally the best learning experience regarding actualism I have had. Who would have thought it? VINEETO: Ha, who would have thought it indeed – when there is no one else to blame you realise you can fix yourself up. And the tools and way to do that are all there on the AFT website, yours for the using if and when you want it.
You might be able to relate to this, further down in the same email –
ANDREW:
I had tears in my eyes for the first time reading something on the AFT. VINEETO: Hi Andrew, It is a wonderful piece of writing, and I am very pleased it touched you and moved you to tears. Something has happened to you that opened a window for you to be able to be receptive in a more profound way. Perhaps your recent the insight you wrote about yesterday has something to do with it –
When all other distractions are presently quiescent and you are only interested in changing yourself then you suddenly notice and absorb what has stayed obscured before – how can I change my “feeling reality” to be one of enjoyment and appreciation. All the best for further fortuitous and beneficial discoveries.
KUBA: Hi Vineeto, Reading your reply 1 word comes to mind – narcissism. I was doing some reading on pure intent on the AFT website yesterday and under related correspondence there was some old correspondence between me and you. I can’t tell you the cringe that I experienced reading it, because I could see that narcissism in those words written by me. And now your reply has highlighted exactly that this is what I have been ‘being’, I haven’t
seen this part of how ‘I’ tick before, not this clearly/ totally anyways. Of course, all ‘beings’ are
narcissistic by nature (and thus susceptible to self-aggrandisement), whether this is more in me (for whatever reason),
perhaps, mainly though I now acknowledge that this is indeed how ‘I’ tick. Actually the various components of ‘my’
persona I can see how they all coagulated under this intrinsic narcissism. And it also makes it clear why ‘I’ as
the ‘controller’ always return, ‘I’ return to claim ‘my’ credit, to feed back into the story that is ‘me’
etc. It also makes it clear why ‘I’ am not willing to maintain a connection to pure intent, because with that
narcissism ‘I’ am looking for something that circles right back to ‘me’, in one way or another. ANDREW to Kuba: Hmm, as an expert on cringe, and will definitely wake up tomorrow and say “why? Why did I post?” It’s not really narcissism that holds us back. That’s really just normal “selfing”. VINEETO: Hi Andrew, So Kuba’s post was a bit too close to the bone for you, was it? You had to step in and offer sympathy, saving a fellow-identity from taking the ultimate step by giving him disinformation regarding altruism and pull ‘him’ back to the shallow end of the pool where ‘you’ reside, albeit cringing. Perhaps some relevant quotes from the AFT can fill the significant gaps in your understanding about altruism –
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There is more, which you can find in Richard’s selected correspondence ANDREW to Kuba: Richard wrote about it being a type of megalomania needed to really go all the way. The abandon of not being ashamed anymore. The naked and unbridled going for it, in the sense of “who am to say all the saints and saviours are wrong?!” VINEETO: Before you advise yourself or anyone else of “not being ashamed anymore” please note that this was only done, and can only be done safely, with the utterly fundamental proviso that pure intent be dedicatorily in place – as an overriding/ overarching life-devotional goal which takes absolute precedence over all else. Besides, it was not “a type of megalomania” but the utmost confidence in the evidence of the PCE and the pure intent derived from that. He did describe being enlightened as a megalomaniacal state of being but emphasised again and again that nobody should follow in his footsteps in that regard. ANDREW: One thing that has always puzzled me is why “altruism” was named as a necessity, when none of the reports ever had an overall theme of it. Richard just found it curious that after weeks of wondering why he was putting of vibes that someone would want to be his disciple, he was out planting trees that he had otherwise cut down in his youth. No moment of “altruism”. Peter, just wondering what it would be like in Richard’s world of “people, places, and events”. No altruistic words recorded. Vineeto, who can check for us, had no thoughts of altruism. Her report was “sweeping the cobwebs out” and going for it. Only [No. 15, List D] and Srinath had anything close to such a report. [No. 15, List D] saw that it was ‘he’ making trouble at work. Srinath saw that ‘he’ could “roar back into life and wreak havoc”. VINEETO: Your summary of the way an actual freedom eventuates – watered-down beyond recognition into a sequence of apparent trivialities – reads very similar to what you opined 13 years ago –
ANDREW to Kuba: I think that your best bet is just stop
posting, and do your own thing. Narcissism is just normal people stuff. Cringe is just normal. I know you can go all
the way. You do as well. VINEETO: I am curious, are you intending to spend the rest of your life the way you are because it’s “just normal people stuff” like narcissism and self-centricity and having a “cringe” is being “just normal”, without ever contemplating that there is a far superior way to live life and how to imitate the actual? This kind of palliative advice and attitude is exactly what keeps humanity enthralled in misery and mayhem. To explain, in case you missed it – when one fellow human being has the perspicacity and courage to recognize the utter rottenness of ‘me’ at the core of my ‘being’, which perspicacity can give him the necessary courage to ‘self’-immolate, and then you step in consolingly saying it’s “just normal selfing”, don’t worry but “you can go all the way” – isn’t that smothering the very intent to do something about the rotten human condition in oneself? Now, where do you suppose the impetus and intent arises from to agree to ‘my’ irrevocable demise if not from the experiential understanding that ‘I’ am rotten to the core? Especially as you depicted an actual freedom just accidentally occurring and neither Richard nor Peter and Vineeto had supposedly ever any intention of doing something for the benefit of this body, that body and everybody? It just happened by accident? If becoming actually free was such a minor accidental event, why do you think Richard wrote this –
If Richard had listened to your kind of advice that it’s “really just normal selfing”, ‘he’ would have never discovered an actual freedom, the Actual Freedom website would not exist nor would you be able to post on this forum. Also, how do you know that “it’s not really narcissism [i.e. selfism] that holds us back”? Do you know experientially what it is that holds you back from starting the process of freeing yourself from the human condition? When you say to Kuba “I know you can go all the way”, what is your experiential suggestion how one should proceed apart from “just stop posting, and do your own thing”? Can you vouch for the success of your advice from your own experience? By having removed altruism from the process of becoming actually free you really have nothing left to offer. No wonder you cringe when you write this stuff.
ANDREW: Cringing is so very normal. Most people are cringing all the time. What I am posting about is the use of “narcissism” and “vanity” being conflated. (…) But, instead of taking my word for it, perhaps the word of a self-described sociopath and grandiose narcissist (he says he ranks off the scale on both tests): Prof. Sam Vaknin. (…) VINEETO: Hi Andrew, You have tried ascribing psychiatric labels onto yourself before –
Now you found another identity-label, possibly also because Prof Vaknin has given you a valid narrative for your life to identify with. This paragraph describes what you seem to be living out at present –
It seems to be the case with your dipping your toe into actualism but never really getting
involved/ making the first step to becoming more harmless and happy, and now you are reduced the “demoting”
actualism and an actual freedom in no uncertain terms. It’s not only the reaction of a “clinical
narcissist” but it’s a very common response when the grapes are hanging too high (as in Aesop’s fable It simply means that the ‘self’-preservation of ‘Andrew’, the lost, lonely, frightened and very cunning identity, has found a way to save ‘his’ pride and give up nevertheless. ANDREW: It may pay to understand that an actual clinical narcissist doesn’t technically have an ego, and is thus not vain. (…) As of now, I am not aware of any cure for NPD or ASPD. VINEETO: Ha … you now have the blessing and/or confirmation in your self-assessed psychiatric disorder to not even have to pretend to try to change human nature – it can’t be done. The irony is that this is exactly the reason philosophy and psychiatry are outdated. ANDREW: I realise actualism is proclaimed in the first line of the website as “It is possible to live in this modern era, freed from out-dated Philosophy and Psychiatry”, but I never saw anything about narcissism being “cured” in the clinical sense on the website. As in, the word is used in it everyday meaning whenever I have read anything on the site. The clinical reality of the “disorder” is far more instructive than the way it is is lumped in with philosophy and metaphysics et al, on the website. There is over 100 years of research into how the “normal” aspect of the psyche can manifest in the worst of human behaviour and create the worst of it. Objectification (whether sexual, or otherwise) at the early stages of life creates what Vaknin describes as an “imaginary friend” which ends up being the only self the victim ever develops. To take it back to applicable usefulness: in what way have we created and maintained a false
self from childhood because of objectification? VINEETO: After this declaration that your condition is incurable, I wonder what “applicable usefulness” your question has on this forum. Richard made it very clear in thousands of posts to hundreds of correspondents that ‘I’ am rotten to the core, irredeemably so, and that the only solution is to voluntarily leave the ‘self’ behind. He also described and reported various tools, which have all been experientially proven to work, to incrementally diminish ‘me’ (the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings) and be able to increasingly enjoy and appreciate being here. By the way, the first ‘case of narcissism’ (which he himself classified as institutionalised insanity) being cured by the actualism method was Richard himself –
Naturally, this suggestion of a solution, which diminishes ‘me’, is anathema to an avowed narcissist, self-confirmed by psychological and psychiatric literature, and possibly more inclined to self-centricity than most. And yet, there must be some inkling of doubt, else why would you write and try to convince/ convert others of your belief, and why would you ‘cringe’? ANDREW: Or, to put a more pointed “point” to my point: The first line of the AFT proclaims that psychiatry is outdated. Yet, when those (and over the years I still remember some of the names) of those with genuine psychiatric conditions interact with the list, they are told that they should seek professional help. So is psychiatry out-dated by actualism? Not so far, on the whole. Edit: [name deleted], there is a name you may not know. [psychiatric label deleted] lad who
used to interact a lot on yahoo. Even had a few videos on YouTube at some point. there was also a bi-polar lady, I
want to say [name deleted], or Layla, something with L. VINEETO: Now here is where narcissism (=self-love) demonstrates its extreme non-consideration for anyone else but ‘me’ (=malice). On the AFT the names on the mailing lists were deliberated anonymised out of consideration for people’s privacy (except for those requesting/ giving permission for their first name to be used) for the very reason that often private and delicate details were discussed when talking about the human condition and how to become free from it. In your desire to pull everyone down to your level of suffering/self-centricity you are callously dragging those names and private details from previous mailing lists into the public forum (a troll-feature called cross-posting) to illustrate your point that psychiatry is not out-dated. What you overlooked is that psychiatry/ psychology has never cured anyone permanently from malice and sorrow. An actual freedom lies beyond normal and abnormal, beyond sanity and insanity. However, if you are convinced that philosophy and psychiatry are not “outdated” and have “over 100 years of research” at their disposal, why not put your money where your mouth is and engage one of their genre to help you (back) to “common human unhappiness” –
Chrono reported last year after personal experience with this genre –
You probably already know what Richard is saying on the topic –
Should you ever grow tired of whiling your life away with psychologising, philosophising and justifying why you are the way you are right now, you can decide to start extracting yourself of the mess you find yourself in. It means, however, that you have to really, really want to do it, actively and practically, to the point of getting obsessed with finding a way out of the mess both your instinctual passions and your socialisation have placed you in. It can be done.
ANDREW: Ok, so I said I would not check, but then I thought “damn, did I completely make up that “seek professional help” memory?” Turns out no, that is the case. The “outdated” is indeed recommended:
First lines of the website:
So, while it may seem like an attack Vineeto, just as it was normal for trolls back in the day: This is indeed where we are at. VINEETO: Hi Andrew, I am pleased you have come to your senses enough to check up on your own allegations. As for
what you call “normal for trolls back in the day” – those days of answering any and all
allegations are long over, most answers are already collected in the Commonly Raised
Objections ANDREW: You: diagnosing me, without a single credential (that I know of) and certainly without any time spent in actual consultation. VINEETO: If you consider my last post to you as me “diagnosing” you, then you are mistaken. I did no such thing – I simply said that these are the labels you seem to be applying to yourself – first “ADHD” and now “clinical narcissist”. I used the latter label because that is what Prof Vaknin, you referred to, writes about. You said –
To my understanding you seem to have included yourself in the last question (“we”) regarding the research of Prof. Vaknin. It appeared to be a more personal matter, especially when in your next post you expounded the virtues of being selfish (“Narcissism is not the opposite of actual freedom”) and not caring “in some normal way” –
Now you saying that you only mentioned the Professor’s name and URL and described his work out of non-personal interest in scientific research regarding narcissism? Nevertheless, I am very pleased to hear that you are neither a narcissistically or a non-caring ‘sociopathically’ inclined person because you gave a convincing indication of that, hence my taking the link to be related to your own issues. Btw, what you are praising is the instinct of self-preservation, expressing itself in fear, aggression, nurture and desire. Here is one of the “endless” quotes from Richard, explaining why it is detrimental to our well-being and why narcissism (=self-love) is anathema to diminishing the ‘self’ to eventually segue into willing ‘self’-sacrifice. Perhaps you didn’t know.
ANDREW: Me: pointing out that “freed” from, and “outdated” would certainly have been great, but here we are… VINEETO: This expectation seems to tie in with the “red button” you talked about with Rick right after declaring that “Narcissism is not the opposite of actual freedom” –
Are you assuming that because one person succeeded in freeing themselves from the human condition, surpassing the outdated wisdom of spirituality, philosophy and psychiatry, and published reports, descriptions and explanations about it, that you can automatically also be freed from the human condition, whilst remaining as ‘self’-centric as you are? You must be kidding. That an actual freedom doesn’t happen overnight because one thinks it’s a good idea, doesn’t
change the fact that an actual freedom is way superior to the present state of “common human unhappiness” ANDREW: Fortunately, I know enough about myself that while probably somewhere on the sub-clinical spectrum of a Dependant Personality (who does indeed share traits with all the personality disorders in that we do have delusional beliefs about ourselves – that is all self diagnosed), I am not so far gone that your completely unwise attempt at diagnosis is of any danger to anyone. You may want to rein that in though. It’s one thing to be communicating about actualism, it’s another to be proclaiming that people you have briefly met 9 years ago, and has otherwise been (and continue to be) respectful, have potentially extremely dangerous personality disorders. I find it strange that you would “try that on”. I am not offended by it, but I wonder why you so easily “went there”? I am of course unsettled, but I was already feeling that from the other day. The goal, and I have never been very good at it, is indeed to be useful. VINEETO: Again, I am pleased to hear that you are not “of any danger to anyone”. As I explained above, I took the research from Prof Vaknin you presented, including your follow-up posts, as a representation of your own self-diagnosis. It has nothing at all to do with having met you in person years ago. If you “indeed” (i.e. in deed) want “to be useful” (i.e. beneficial to yourself and your fellow human beings) why don’t you want to be harmless and happy? ANDREW: P.S: my statement that you would change the website to
prove your point proved to be false, so that is great! Turns out there may be some mutual mis diagnosis going on
after all. VINEETO: I am pleased you found that out yourself.
ANDREW: Hi Vineeto, I did not see that my sentences would indeed give someone the impression that I was labelling myself NPD or ASPD. It makes sense now that you have explained how it appeared to the reader. I was really taken aback, but I can see that indeed my lack of clear writing was the cause, not you jumping to diagnosis. VINEETO: Hi Andrew, Thank you for your sincerity and being able to read your writing with the reader’s eyes. I will keep the possibility of misunderstanding the other in mind and consider that clarification might be needed. ANDREW: Today was a very beautiful sunny day, with plenty of walking time for me to think through why I was so insistent to make this particular point about the way psychiatry is lumped in with everything else in that first sentence of the AFT, and instructions to seek professional help are elsewhere. I can see that the main clue is in what I later shared about the self-diagnosed “dependent personality” traits. I always had objections, but I could never compartmentalise them. I may appear to be a self with that capacity to direct my thoughts, one might sensibly not let a single point of disagreement ruin an entire friendship. I never really had that skill. It was all or nothing, and because I had supposedly found the answer, I manifested the types of reactions like yesterday. I try and change the messengers! VINEETO: Ha … changing or shooting the messenger(s) is an age-old instinctual reaction – it is a well-known tradition that only a couple of centuries past whoever brought the message of a lost battle to the ruler was executed. ANDREW: Now, do I think that the AFT is deficient? Yes. Because I think everything is deficient, precisely because I look to others to make the rules for me, to tell me what to do. VINEETO: That’s a good insight – and ‘Vineeto’ knew it well, when ‘she’ became the disciple of a ‘wise’ man (Rajneesh) to tell ‘her’ what to do with ‘her’ life. Richard however taught ‘her’ how to rely on facts and actuality (rather than second-hand beliefs) and how to most effectively (non-emotionally) make use of her native intelligence. ANDREW: So, while I doubt it’s clinical (one of the co-morbid symptoms is high degrees of manipulation in clinical dependence, which I don’t have). VINEETO: Are you still searching for a definite label to categorize yourself with? And yet those labels, even if you found the most fitting one, would not assist you in becoming free from malice and sorrow, let alone permanently, because psychiatry can manage the disorder not cure it. So why not treat those symptoms as aspects of your identity, which you no longer need to employ? They were developed as a survival-mechanisms when you had no other choice. Knowing that you will never be a helpless child again, you can look at them, one by one, and discard them as unnecessary and detrimental to your well-being. If my memory serves me correctly one of the first ones would sensibly be the taboo to succeed. ANDREW: Do I think, for the benefit of others some warning could be added? Sensibly, yes. If someone who should be getting therapy, get’s some therapy and otherwise then, as Richard suggests, can make something of actualism, great. That’s not a demand, I just don’t see psychiatry as being “outdated” when in fact, in possibly in my case and others, it was needed all along. VINEETO: Have you ever read the Disclaimer page ANDREW: The defining trait that has let me be assured that I am not clinically disordered is empathy and compassion. These are typically very low in people with disorders. While I tend to be high in these areas, over my lifetime. VINEETO: You may want to read what Chrono reported in his latest
post ANDREW: I will reiterate that I don’t have an objection to actual freedom, or the premises of the method, and the practice of it. I can see that I wasn’t able to separate myself from the messengers’ words, whether Richard, Peter, yourself and others. Which is a classic symptom of dependence and stunted emotional skills. VINEETO: While I appreciate your reiteration, I’d rather say you may not have an objection to ‘your’ interpretation of actual freedom, the actualism method and the practice, and you can’t always tell the difference. You might often interpret actualism according to the old paradigm and its values, not fully realising the radicality of it being a third alternative to materialism and spiritualism. I’m only thinking of the recent post to Kuba
ANDREW: The walk showed me that I need to continue to be as independent as possible. Making the most of my time within my own “space” mentally. That point is still unfolding for me, as having everything “lumped together” actualism, me, you, all the people over the years (I had briefly tried to help [name deleted] back in the day), others I mentioned like Rick, the forum, it all ends up being confusion and then after a while, it “explodes” out, in a way like it did yesterday. So, deliberately taking my time, in my own space, and being able to develop that separation and maturity is what I saw was needed. Being able to experiment and value my own time. VINEETO: While it’s certainly sensible to “take your time”, I rather suggest becoming aware of each ‘good’ and/or bad feeling (because they are the ones which are “having everything lumped together”), so that when you are in a good mood, clear thinking can occur. Then you might not only better understand what actualists write about an actual freedom, the actualism method and practice, but also how ‘you’ tick, and why you react to certain triggers in a particular way. Then any discussion about the questions you have will be a lot more fruitful. I am certainly happy to be of assistance.
Freedom from the Human Condition – Happy and Harmless Vineeto’s & Richard’s Text ©The Actual
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