VINEETO: Hi Roy,

Welcome to the forum, I do enjoy your introduction.

ROY: Ps: needless to say that these realizations were only possible because at some point I stumbled upon this website actualfreedom.com.au and the writings of a man named Richard but more importantly the writings of a woman named Vineeto which connected with me in a way like nothing I’ve read before. I wish I could be physically near her so I could hug her and thank her. ”

VINEETO: Thank you for your appreciation for ‘Vineeto’s’ writings. When I became actually free I was consequently quite suss of the words feeling being ‘Vineeto’ had written, and not sure if they were not misleading, so I am pleased you found them useful. Keep in mind though that they were written by a feeling being and thus could contain inaccurate information as well as helpful hints.

ROY: But at first I read the website only to dismiss it completely – it happened multiple times. Somehow – as meaningful these writings were – I felt the need to reject them. But later, experiences would always lead me to realize things that had been written on the website in clear and simple words all along.

ROY: Now I’ve spent many hours reading the pages yet it seems it is never ending and that I’ve only scratched the surface – seems like I’ve only read 1%. I think it is taking me longer because I’m not always ready to understand what is being said. I keep reading the same pages but I focus on different aspects of it every time. Now I’m a bit worried that once I read new things on the website I’ll disagree with them but of course that may happen and it’s fine.

VINEETO: It does serve you well to read Richard’s words more than once, there is so much to discover that is new to human consciousness. ‘Vineeto’ used to say that after the first few weeks of listening to Richard, reading his words, especially regarding the effects any and all attempts to fit this totally new paradigm into ‘her’ existing mindset were having, ‘she’ explained to Richard the process as being ... (1.) as if ‘her’ brain was being turned upside-down ... and how (2.) ‘she’ was having to relearn how to think all over again. So yes, it often took ‘her’ a few repeated readings of his words before it clicked and often ‘she’ would find new insights and unexpected gems. That is one of the reasons why you will find many repetitions on the website.

ROY: I can and must make up my own mind about things and think for myself – thankfully, gone is the time that I wasn’t aware that was the case.

Let me know if you would like some clarification on anything written on the AFT website, I am probably the only person, who has read everything Richard has ever written.

Cheers Vineeto

PS: I just re-read the first part of your introduction and it occurred to me that you might be interested in this correspondence (Richard, Actual Freedom List, Mark) who had similar intelligent questions as you reported.

December 3 2024

ROY: … some days ago I had to climb to a roof with my father and I started shaking and my heart started racing. My father noticed this and asked since when was I afraid of heights because he knows that when I was a child I loved climbing trees and being in high places had never been an issue. Indeed I asked myself the same question! Somehow I became an adult with fear of heights. The next day we once again had to climb to the roof but this time I was prepared – I remembered a report from feeling being Vineeto and I was determined to simply observe what my mind would do this time and for my surprise it simply … didn’t do anything. The trembling and the heart racing didn’t even start and it was as if I was taking a walk in the park. This was yet another experience where it was obvious that my mind was sabotaging me to keep me from moving forward – to force me to be in a place of sameness.

VINEETO: Hi Roy,

A great story what attentiveness can do. Being aware in advance of any potential feelings prevented them from occurring.

Kuba already pointed out that ‘mind’ is not only comprised of thought but the primary reaction comes from the instinctual passions (and the feeling being/identity formed thereof). Thoughts only kick in when the brain is already flooded with feeling-induced hormones for the ‘quick and dirty’ instinctual response (12 milli seconds for feelings, 24 milli seconds for thoughts).

‘Peter’ and ‘Vineeto’ produced several illustrative diagrams (Library, Brainschemes) to explain this effect, which Joseph LeDoux had confirmed with his laboratory experiments. You can also look at it from the evolutionary standpoint that a baby is born with feelings while their thought processes develop much later.

The ‘mind’ has not only been much maligned in the spiritual arena, it has also been imbued with divine powers according to the belief that consciousness creates matter – in other words ‘mind’ is a multi-faceted word.

While the mind the one hand “can be a fertile breeding-ground for hallucinations, for emotional and passionate thought” (Richard, List B, No. 11, 25 April 1998), it is on the other hand “the most marvellous tool possible ... it can get you out of the mess that is the Human Condition with remarkable alacrity” (Richard, List B, No. 11, 28 April 1998). It depends on your own discerning intelligence.

Here is how the one dictionary describes it –

‘mind: 1. The human consciousness that originates in the brain and is manifested especially in thought, perception, emotion, will, memory, and imagination. 2. The collective conscious and unconscious processes in a sentient organism that direct and influence mental and physical behaviour. 3. The principle of intelligence; the spirit of consciousness regarded as an aspect of reality. 4. The faculty of thinking, reasoning, and applying knowledge’. (The American Heritage® Dictionary).

Attentiveness (Richard, Articles, Attentiveness, Sensuousness, Apperceptiveness), especially affective attentiveness, (which you employed on the roof the other day) can help you sort out feelings from facts and emotions from cognitive thoughts and will allow you to slowly find out how your mind ticks.

ROY: I sensed some urgency because I truly believe we collectively need to understand that we need to take this leap and become free of the human condition because otherwise this big brain of ours will continue taking us in this path of war against each other and against earth itself until we become extinct.

VINEETO: While you are correct in understanding that it is vitally important to “become free of the human condition”, this is an action which can only be done individually, unilaterally, because the only person you can, and need to, change is yourself. Nobody likes to be changed, that would only cause resentment and conflict, hence everyone has to do this for themselves if and when they are ready.

Many people have fallen for various doomsday predictions (Sundry, Facts and Groupthink, Doomsday Clock) that the human race will become extinct (and there have been plenty in the past centuries as well) but so far the instincts for the survival of the species have prevented any final catastrophe.

There is no point in allowing an understandable but automatic fear-response to prevent you from doing all you can yourself to become free from the human condition at your own pace.

It’s a grand adventure, and while all the wars and suicides and murders and domestic violence plus the awareness of your personal malice and sorrow provide the backpressure, the magnificence of the actual infinite universe will pull you from ahead.

Cheers Vineeto

December 3 2024

ROY: Today I became frustrated because it seems I’m not going anywhere near being free of this constant thinking about myself.[…]

I read the website and I learn nothing. It’s all there. It is basic. But I read it and nothing sticks. Am I blocking it because I can’t accept it? I can’t accept the fact that I’m living an illusion?

VINEETO; It is very difficult to accept as a concept that you are “living an illusion” until you have experienced that alternative, i.e. an experience of the actual world called pure consciousness experience.

Richard: What I usually say is that there is sufficient information available on The Actual Freedom Trust web site to establish a prima-facie case worthy of further investigation – rather than capricious dismissal as having all been said before – and thus (intellectually) find out what actualism is on about ... and then see what happens.

In other words: what one can do is make a critical examination of all the words I advance so as to ascertain if they be intrinsically self-explanatory ... and only when they are seen to be inherently consistent with what is being spoken about, then the facts speak for themselves. Then one will have reason to remember a pure conscious experience (PCE), which all peoples I have spoken to at length have had, and thus verify by direct experience the facticity of what is written.

Then it is the PCE that is one’s lodestone or guiding light ... not me or my words. My words then offer confirmation ... and affirmation in that a fellow human being has safely walked this wide and wondrous path. (Richard, Abditorium, Prima Facie Case).

Cheers Vineeto

January 18 2025

ROY: Hi everyone that reads this. I hope things are going well with you. I just wanted to add a quick update to this journal. I’ve been feeling good for most of the time lately.

I realized that most people in this forum had past experiences with spirituality and found out it was not the answer, but maybe it was a necessary step for them in the journey. I always dismissed in my life everything that was about spiritual experiences, but this time I ended up doing some very basic meditation for the first time in my life. Just sitting and seeing what happens, and it seems the problem is the lack of attention. After a month I finally internalized what I think people mean by “you are not your thoughts”. I’m not my thoughts in the sense that I don’t seem to consciously create them. They appear out of the blue and there’s nothing I have to do about it. And by internalizing this now I know I don’t need to engage with them. They show up and… here they are… and then I can pay attention to them and let them go. This not only gives me a lot of peace and relief but my bad moods now also start and end a lot quicker. Because these negative feelings seem to always be a consequence of these thoughts, which I now am able to dismiss. I can’t prevent them from showing up, but I don’t have to entertain them. So I still feel anger, fear, etc. but I return to a state of feeling good and in peace more quickly.

VINEETO: Hi Roy,

Welcome back.

Because you decided to try out spirituality and now believe that “because these negative feelings seem to always be a consequence of these thoughts” – let me acquaint you with some fact which perhaps spirituality (which has a history of 3000-5000 years) has not yet taken on board –

• [Richard]: This seat-of-the-emotions ”‘soul-self’ ”or ‘spirit-self’ – ”an instinctual ‘self’ born ”of an amorphous affective ‘presence’ ”in utero, an inchoate intuitive ‘being’ ”in vivo, which the genetically endowed instinctual passions (such as fear and aggression and nurture and desire) instinctively form themselves into just as, analogously, a vortex or eddy forming itself vortically as whirling air or swirling water does – is not to be confused with the ego-self (an affective-cum-cognitive entity).

The ”ego-self ”arises out of the ‘soul-self’ or ‘spirit-self’, somewhere ”around age two, as the doer of all affective-psychic eventful experience (a.k.a. the ‘thinker’), as opposed to the beer of all affective-psychic experiencing (a.k.a. the ‘feeler’), and is, typically, experienceable as situate in the head, rather than in the heart region from whence it arose, immediately behind the forehead at a midpoint just above the eyes.

Furthermore, the ego-self is not ”the social identity-cum-cultural conscience ”and/or inwit as, by and large, not ”until approximately seven years ”of age does a child know the basic difference between what each particular society and culture regards as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, or ‘good’ and ‘bad’, or ‘appropriate’ and ‘inappropriate’, and the parents’ attitude reflects this (as is evidenced in a parent taking the child to task with an oft-repeated “you ought to know better by now”).

Thus the socio-cultural identity is overlaid, via socialisation and culturalisation, over both the ego-self and the soul-self – as an incorporeal cultural conscience or social guardian … [emphasis added] (Richard, the Formation and Persistence of Social Identity).

Just to be clear, this is not only something Richard says but it has been verified by scientific experiments by Joseph LeDoux, that sensory input comes first, thoughtless emotional response comes second (12 milliseconds after the sensory input) and thoughtful instinctual-emotional response comes third (24 milliseconds after sensory input). (Library, Topics, Brainschemes).

As such negative thoughts are obviously a consequence of negative feelings/instinctual passions.

ROY: One thing however is that during the day, I feel a lot better but it doesn’t feel like a PCE, because I’m “aware that I’m aware”, if that makes sense? I’m not absorbed in the moment – I consciously choose to be engaged with the moment. In PCEs everything happens automatically without me intervening. At the end of a PCE, it feels like I didn’t choose anything consciously — things happened without consciously thinking? I wonder if with time, it will become “natural” to be present in the moment without putting any conscious effort into it.
As usual I write this and don’t edit or sit on it too much so I can be a bit more honest with myself…

VINEETO: So that you don’t confuse a PCE with other choiceless or thoughtless happenings, and thus miss out on the genuine experience of perfection – here is one description of a PCE –

Richard: A peak experience (PCE) is when everything is seen to be already perfect – it always has been and always will be – and that ‘I’, the self, have been standing in the way of the perfection being apparent. Normally the mind perceives through the senses and sorts the data received according to its predilection; but the mind itself remains unperceived ... it is taken to be unknowable. In a PCE there is apperception operating. Apperception happens when the ‘who’ inside abdicates its throne and a pure awareness occurs. The PCE is as if one has eyes in the back of one’s head; there is a three hundred and sixty degree awareness and all is self-evidently clear. This is knowing by direct experience, unmediated by any ‘who’ whatsoever. One is able to see that the ‘who’ of one has been standing in the way of the perfection and purity that is the essential nature of this moment of being here becoming apparent. Here a solid and irrefutable native intelligence can operate freely because the ‘thinker’ and the ‘feeler’ are extirpated.

Then what one is (‘what’ not ‘who’) is these sense organs in operation: this seeing is me, this hearing is me, this tasting is me, this touching is me, this smelling is me, and this thinking is me. Whereas ‘I’, the identity, am inside the body: looking out through ‘my’ eyes as if looking out through a window, listening through ‘my’ ears as if they were microphones, tasting through ‘my’ tongue, touching through ‘my’ skin, smelling through ‘my’ nose, and thinking through ‘my’ brain. Of course ‘I’ must feel isolated, alienated, alone and lonely, for ‘I’ am cut off from the magnificence of the world as-it-is (the actual world) by ‘my’ very presence. (Richard, List B, No. 20, 15 February 1998).

And here is another sent in today by a forum-member –

JesusCarlos: I remember a wonderful moment in particular during that PCE. My gaze was fixed on the horizon, far away, and beyond the horizon, towards what was no longer visible. A thought associated with infinity arose: what I really am has the capacity to see very far, further than what is considered normal. This is its true capacity. To be able to see beyond the present, towards the enormous and infinite of this vast universe. And with that gaze, to look again at the immediate: there was perfection.

Cheers Vineeto

January 21 2025

ROY: I went over this again … because I began to question if what I had were PCEs. I think they were.

What I have, I can only describe how it feels like, when I remember it, after it ends. And it’s like if it was a “dream” in the sense that everything was perfect and happened automatically without me intervening at all (no choices, no doubts, no emotions…) and in the sense that I had no notion of time passing. Colors and taste can be described as perfect, I can see that. But I can’t say that when I hear “becoming the sensations” I’m reminded of how it felt like. In a way, in these episodes I don’t realize how different I am: it’s simply that everything works out great and I’m not messing it up and I’m not thinking about it.

VINEETO: Hi Roy,

Thank you for the feedback. It is vital to know if one’s PCEs were the genuine article because they are your only reliable experiential lodestone, your reference guide for what you are aiming for. Other actualists’ words can give you confirmation but only you yourself can verify by direct experience the facticity of what is written.

PCEs can be of a different quality and length and each one gives more information about aspects of the actual world. Personally, ‘Vineeto’ looked for the magical element in ‘her’ PCEs, which for ‘her’ were the best indicators if it was an excellence experience (link) or a PCE. And when ‘she’ experienced in a PCE that this is how ‘she’ wanted to live ‘her’ life forever, that was the final arbiter.

From the above experiences, you already have gleaned useful information, which you can apply to how to best enjoy and appreciate each moment and that is wonderful (such as “it’s simply that everything works out great and I’m not messing it up” and “no choices, no doubts, no emotions”) … and more will follow.

Regarding “becoming the sensations”, here is an early description from Richard about a PCE where he experienced being the senses only during his enlightened period –

Richard: ”‘I remember the first time I experienced being the senses only during a peak experience. There was no identity as ‘I’ thinking or ‘me’ feeling ... simply this body ambling across a grassy field in the early-morning light. A million dew-drenched spider-webs danced a sparkling delight over the verdant vista and a question that had been running for some weeks became experientially answered: without the senses I would not know that I exist. And further to this: I was the senses and the senses were me. With this comes an awareness of being conscious ... apperception’ [emphasis added]. (Richard, Actual Freeedom List, Alan, pce).

This PCE happened when ‘Richard’ was still in the long process of sorting out his altered state of consciousness (1981-1992) when the above-described experience gave ‘him’ some more clues about the actual world –

Richard: ”Without any identity (‘I’ as ego and ‘me’ as soul) the distance or separation between ‘me’ and ‘my’ senses – and thus the external world – disappears. To be the senses as a bare awareness is apperception, a pure consciousness experience of the world as-it-is. Because there is no ‘I’ as an observer – a little person inside one’s head – to have sensations, I am the sensations. There is nothing except the series of sensations which happen ... not to ‘me’ but just happening ... moment by moment ... one after another. To be these sensations, as distinct from having them, engenders the most astonishing sense of freedom and release. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, Alan, pce).

I am only mentioning this so you can understand that the realisation that “being the senses only” is not necessarily an early information one receives from a PCE, and especially as in normal perception-mode sensate experience is overlaid by feelings, emotions and passions and often feeling-fed thoughts.

Cheers Vineeto

January 31 2025

ROY: I think it’s correct to state that actualists would say that consciousness emerges from purely physical systems.

KUBA: There would be a mistake in stating that, in that ‘consciousness’ would then be taken as a ‘thing in itself’ the same way as a ‘self’ is. Whereas what consciousness actually is, is those very physical systems in operation. So “consciousness emerging” in this context becomes an invitation for the metaphysical once more - where science seems to be stuck with their understanding also.

ROY: My “theory” is that it’s more plausible that consciousness emerges just like life emerges. I would even say that they are one and the same, explained with different concepts. And so becoming conscious is the same as being born, and death is the end of it all (the actual person or feeling-being).

VINEETO: Hi Roy and Kuba,

I happen to find a good additional formulation today –

RESPONDENT: What happens when your body dies? Does the peace-on-earth that you know goes with it?

RICHARD: Oh no, not at all ... this peace-on-earth is already always here. It always has been and always will be, for it is the utter peace of the perfect infinitude of this physical universe itself. Here is a vast stillness that is everywhere all at once ... being nowhere in particular, we are anywhere at all in the universe’s infinity of space and eternity of time. We are all coming from nowhere and are not going anywhere for there is nowhere to come from and nowhere to go to ... we are already here and it is always now.

When this body dies, its apperceptive awareness – which is what one refers to by the first person pronoun – dies right along with it, of course, for they are one and the same thing. There is no ‘I’ or ‘me’ lurking around inside this body creating its mischief and dreaming dreams of a glorious – or hideous – immortality in some specious After-Life.

However, when this body physically dies, edified human access to this actual peace-on-earth dies along with it ... which is why I write so prolifically. I have accumulated 250,000 words so far ... subscribing to a Mailing List is one way of getting more words out. Answering all kinds of questions causes me to consider that which would normally not occur to me to write about. [emphasis added] (Richard, List B, No. 23, 29 Mar 1998).

Cheers Vineeto

February 12 2025

ROY: Life is already pretty great as it is. But there are times that something happens, and it’s apparent that if I was free from this natural and social conditioning, it would have been different – specially for others: the experience of others you be better if I didn’t behave the way I behaved. That part, being “harmless” is as appealing to me, as being “happy” at this point, I think.

VINEETO: Hi Roy,

I like what you wrote here – I remember ‘Vineeto’ writing about how ‘she’ discovered that feeling harmless was not enough, ‘she’ recognized that ‘she’ wanted to be harmless, not just feel harmless.

Vineeto: The reason I said that there is a remarkable difference between *feeling* harmless and actually being harmless is because it is easy to assess one’s happiness by checking if I am feeling happy whereas many people may feel themselves to be harmless when they are not experiencing feelings of aggression or anger against somebody. Yet they are nevertheless causing harm via their thoughtless ‘self’-oriented instinctual feelings and actions, something that all human beings are prone to do unless they become fully aware of their instinctual passions *before* these translate into vibes and/or actions.

It was about a year into my process of actualism when I became aware of how much my outlook on the world and on people had changed in that my cloak of myopic ‘self’-centredness began to lift and I no longer saw the world only ‘my’ way and my judgments and actions no longer revolved around ‘my’ interests, ‘my’ beliefs, ‘my’ ideas, ‘my’ ideals, ‘my’ fears, ‘my’ desires and ‘my’ aversions. Consequently I have learnt to judge harmlessness by the amount of parity and consideration I apply to others whom I come in contact with, both at work and at play, and not by merely feeling myself to be harmless. (…)

I remember well the first evening when I looked at Peter and saw him as just another human being – not as a partner, a mate, a member of the other gender, a lover, a sexual object, a valuable addition to my circle of friends, and not as someone who would approve or disapprove of me – simple another fellow human being. Suddenly the separation I felt was gone and there was a delicious intimacy, as ‘I’ was no longer attempting to force him to fit into ‘my’ world.
I was astounded and shocked by this experience, being outside of my so familiar ‘self’-centred and ‘self-oriented skin, because I realized that never before, not once in our 3-months acquaintance, had I been able, or even interested, to see him as a person in his own right. I was shocked at how all of my perception and consequently all of my interactions were driven by what *I* wanted, what *I* expected and what *I* believed him to be and how much I was therefore constantly at odds with how he actually was.

The reason I am telling this story is because this experience was the beginning of a slow and wide-ranging realization that as long as I live in ‘my’ world – made up of ‘my’ worldview, ‘my’ beliefs, opinions, feelings and survival passions – I cannot help but struggle to fit everyone into ‘my’ world, as actors on the stage of ‘my’ play, so to speak, as family and aliens, as friends and enemies, as ‘good’ people and ‘bad’ people. And not only am ‘I’ busy trying to do this, everyone else – all six billion of us – are equally struggling to fit everyone into ‘their’ world.

It then comes as no surprise that being actually harmless is out of the question – until ‘I’ more and more leave centre-stage, stop resenting being here, stop being stressed, take myself less seriously, take notice of other people the way they are and start enjoying life. (Actualism, Vineeto, AF List, Tarin, 13.8.2006)

ROY: By being harmless you are already helping everyone without being altruistic in the traditional sense. You are harmless if you manage to deconstruct your biological and social conditioning. Once you understand those you realize when you judge people and why you are judging them, when you are mean and why you are being mean, etc…

VINEETO: Yes, being harmless is doubly beneficial, it reduces/ eliminates your harmful actions and simultaneous reduces your harmful vibes which are often more powerfully harmful than the words or actions themselves.

As for “when you judge people” – ‘thou shalt not judge’ is both a Christian adage and common in Eastern spiritual teachings but doesn’t hold up in real life. Judging, i.e. to make appraisals, is a necessity in everyday life – the values by which to judge, however, can be harmful or beneficial. Judging both yourself and other by the (conditioned) rules of what is right and wrong, what is good and bad is following the values passed on from long-dead people or God(s) as the ultimate arbiters. Judgement according to sensible and silly, however, is indispensable.

Richard: Shall I put it this way (about not being judgmental)? Do you personally:

• Condone rape and child abuse?
• Approve of rape and child abuse?
• Have no opinion about rape and child abuse?
• Disapprove of rape and child abuse?
• Proscribe rape and child abuse?

Is it not simply a fact that one makes appraisals of situations and circumstances each moment again in one’s daily life ... this judging is called making a decision regarding personal and communal salubrity. (Richard, List B, No. 42, 12 Nov 2000).

Often such judgements (based on being silly or sensible) can be current appraisals of people or situations, which can change when new facts emerge.

However, when you discover that you were “mean” then your ‘assessment’ was based on your feeling anger, defensiveness, feeling insulted, righteous, hurt, etc., and you can then investigate the underlying feeling.

ROY: For example today I saw a woman with revealing clothes and immediately I became angry. It’s an automatic feeling (which is interesting because I used to think that it started with thoughts). The difference now from before is that I realize what’s going on with me and the feeling stops quickly.

VINEETO: This a good example of a feeling reaction based on a certain conditioned value of ‘thou shalt not wear revealing clothes if you are a female’. Even though the feeling stopped quickly for you it would be interesting to contemplate if the conditioning which set up this ‘rule’ stands in the way of being happy and harmless – just so that it won’t offend you next time it happens.

‘Vineeto’ also discovered in ‘her’ quest of becoming factually/ actually harmless, that it wasn’t enough to investigate and disempower the ‘bad’ emotions and their related conditioning but even more so the ‘good’ emotions. Each ‘good’ feeling has a dark twin underpinning it.

Here is how Richard described how during his enlightenment ‘he’ examined the ‘good’ and particularly the ‘Good’ and given that is was so revered in all societies, it was a mammoth task –

Richard: For eleven years I lived in an Altered State Of Consciousness, so I had plenty of time to examine all its nooks and crannies ... and I found much that was murky and dirty lurking around in the outer darkness. (…) I soon found enough to make me start suspecting something very serious was wrong with Spiritual Enlightenment. To start off with was the inescapable fact that I had a ‘Sense Of Mission’ to bring ‘Peace and Love’ to a suffering humanity – I was driven to spread ‘The Word’ and to disseminate ‘The Truth’ – and this imposition did not sit well with me. In my fourth year I started to question the efficacy of Divine Compassion as a means of resolving sorrow once and for all. As a palliative for suffering it was beyond compare – it superseded pity, sympathy and empathy by a mile – but it remained forever a panacea only. Consolation for sorrow, no matter how divine that solace may be, is not a cure that lasts.

In my sixth year I was ready to examine Love Agapé – which up until then had been far to sacred to put under the microscope – and I soon found enough to warrant further investigation. If Divine Compassion had been found to be murky and dirty, I was to go on to discover that Love Agapé was sordid and squalid to the extreme. Just as compassion has its roots in sorrow, so too has love its origin in malice. Hatred is the essential companion to love; the one cannot exist without the other. When I first saw the other face of love I was horrified ... for I was in the grip of a ‘Demonic Power’ disguised as ‘Divine Authority’. The diabolical is but the essential sub-stratum for the righteous; the sinister for the good; the fiendish for the glorious; the infernal for the heavenly; the wicked for the charitable ... and so on. Love Agapé – which has been touted as the cure-all for the ills of humankind for thousands of years – was hand-in-glove with evil. No wonder that religious wars have beset this planet for aeons, for the central tenet of any religious or spiritual path is love ... and love is the very element that will sabotage any well-meant endeavour with its secret agenda. A loving self is still a self, nevertheless. And a self is made out of the sorrow and malice that are generated by the instinctual aggression and fear that humans are born with in order for the species to survive. (…)

In my tenth year I tentatively approached one of the last bastions of spiritual enlightenment: pacifism. Almost all of the other attributes of what I called an ‘Absolute Freedom’ had been stripped away and if I was to undo what is called ‘ahimsa’ ”in the east – non-violence – then there would not be much left of my precious ‘Peace On Earth’ that I was charged to bring. I found a strong resistance within myself to contemplate letting go of the scriptural adage: ‘Turn the other cheek’ ... even though I intellectually considered it to be nonsense. If an entire country held such a belief it would be akin to hanging out a sign saying: ‘Please feel free to invade, we will not fight back’. Also, I personally relied upon the police to protect me and mine from any personal attack or robbery – what if they adopted this principle? By the time I had worked my way through this philosophical dilemma I had to turn my sights upon the last thing that stood between me and an actual freedom. I would have to let go of the deeply ingrained concept of ‘The Good’. For this to happen I would have to eliminate ‘The Bad’ in me, or else I would be likely to go off the rails and run amok. Little did I realise that it was ‘The Good’ that kept ‘The Bad’ in place. I was soon to find this out. (Richard, List B, No. 31, 7 Mar 1998).

Cheers Vineeto

February 13 2025

ROY: Thanks a lot for the time you spent writing this reply! It is very helpful and this forum has become a very important resource for me thanks to many of you here.

VINEETO: Hi Roy,

Thank you for your feedback, and I am delighted that you understand so much of what I explained. It’s a lot to take in and even more to digest. I much appreciate your response. Just two more points I’d like to comment on.

ROY: Intimacy to me used to mean being exceptionally close to someone in a vulnerable/fragile way, and now it means being fully transparent without worries about what I share / say / how the other person reacts / if they will accept me or not / etc. I guess I didn’t ever had this type of real human connection in the past.

VINEETO: An actual intimacy is indeed happening with everyone and everything “being fully transparent” and, of course “without worries” of any kind. This is part and parcel of not being ‘self’-centred and without any ‘self’ whatsoever, and one is therefore benevolent, equitable and considerate.

The more one is virtually happy and virtually harmless, the more intimacy with fellow human beings and the world around you is possible. When pure intent is dedicatory in place (“as an overriding/ overarching life-devotional goal which takes absolute precedence over all else”), then you can be “fully transparent without” and be more and more confidently harmless. Until this happens it is still advisable to take into account that you, and everyone else, is a feeling being with whatever this entails.

Maybe you had already implied all that when you wrote the above paragraph. I am just being careful remembering ‘Vineeto’s’ own experiences when ‘her’ confidence in having successfully dismantled some of ‘her’ social identity sometimes translated into impulsive actions, which were anything but beneficial … ‘oops’.

*

VINEETO: ‘Vineeto’ also discovered in ‘her’ quest of becoming factually/ actually harmless, that ”it wasn’t enough to investigate and disempower the ‘bad’ emotions and their related conditioning but even more so the ‘good’ emotions. Each ‘good’ feeling has a dark twin underpinning it.

ROY: It’s very interesting that you say that because the other day I had exactly a situation in my life in which I realized that I should investigate good feelings too. I thought I wouldn’t need to care too much about what is positive, but in fact I need to investigate any disturbing feeling (positive and negative). The situation was that I happened to do something very positive both in my community and at work without even trying and without selfish motivations. It just happened that I had to handle these situations and I handled them very well. And so I was praised and with that came a great feeling of belonging and worthiness. Later however I did something stupid and turns out that it was caused by the inflated ego from earlier. Whenever I let my ego become bigger it ends up affecting my behaviors later on in a negative way. So basically I have to investigate both positive and negative feelings.

VINEETO: That is great discovery you made.

However, there is far more to the “negative” side of ‘good’ feelings than inflation of the ego. By calling ‘good’ feelings (such as love and compassion) “what is positive” you may have missed the issue of what ‘good’ feelings and their dark twin are. The reason for the long quote from Richard at the end of my last post was to give you some material to contemplate when you have the time and inclination. ‘Good’ feelings are just as passionate as ‘bad’ feelings, arising from the same instinctual passions, ‘me’ at the core of my being, and hence equally rotten at the core.

Richard: ... Little did I realise that it was ‘The Good’ that kept ‘The Bad’ in place. I was soon to find this out. (Richard, List B, No. 31, 7 Mar 1998).

Cheers Vineeto

February 14 2025

ROY: I think I get this intellectually but maybe I will only fully grasp how important it is experientially someday. I get the need to comprehend a concept and its opposite. So for example like Richard mentioned, I understand hatred because I also understand love, in contrast, and “one cannot exist without the other”.

VINEETO: Hi Roy,

This is exactly how it is intended to be. Richard’s reports and explanations are an invitation to induce contemplation and investigation to find out experientially how the human condition works in you and by extension in everyone. And once you find out for yourself, his words are a confirmation that you are not crazy – because almost everyone else follows the legacy/ beliefs of long dead people despite detrimental results.

ROY: Maybe related to this… I also get that feelings are interpreted by me as good/positive or bad/negative — for me. So for example, I may feel discomfort in the gut due to feeling anxious and I label that as bad/negative. On the other hand, in a different situation, I may feel discomfort in the gut due to feeling excited and I label that as good/positive. And the physical sensation is exactly the same. Not sure if you would consider anxiety/excitement as twins.

VINEETO: Every feeling/passion has a hedonic tone (Richard, Abditorium, Hedonic Tone). Hence it feels good to feel good, it feels bad to feel sad. This hedonic tone underpins every feeling-thought-action and is generally taken as the main arbiter of everything from philosophy to actions (unless conscience/ social identity restricts/controls it).

Richard has written about how fear, particularly existential fear, has always a thrilling aspect –

Richard: Always included in fear is a thrilling aspect, and by focussing upon this and not fear itself, an energy gathers momentum which does the trick for one (thrilling as in an exciting sensation through the body, stirring, stimulating, electrifying, rousing, moving, gripping, hair-raising, riveting, joyful, pleasing, throbbing, trembling, tremulous, quivering, shivering, fluttering, shuddering and vibrating). (Richard, List B, No. 12a, 18 July 1998). 

The very activity you are engaged in – to explore the depth of your ‘being’ – is a thrilling/exciting adventure, which excitement can overcome the fearful/daring discoveries you make.

Fear and excitement are not twins as in opposites, they are two aspects of the same feeling.

*

ROY:  

Richard: And controlling one’s attitude towards them does nothing to stop the other picking up on one’s vibes (to use a 60’s term). If one has the slightest trace of malice or sorrow toward the other, the prevailing wisdom is to be loving or compassionate … yet it does not work in practice. This is because there is a psychic connection between humans who have feelings. [Emphasis added] (Richard, List B, No. 2, 31 July 1998).

Interestingly I did some research and once more the concept of “vibes” shows up. I looked around on the site and still don’t understand what it refers to in the context of actuality, but I have to read more. For me vibes are in the same bucket of auras and crystals.

VINEETO: I understand that presently vibes are merely a concept or belief for you. Most people are not experientially aware of vibes even existing, while some others are quite sensitive to their effect. To start with, you can observe animals responding to you via vibes – if you have a dog for instance, you can observe that it can sense danger for its master not only with their senses but via foreign/ aggressive vibes, it can sense if you are angry or friendly towards them even if you don’t show it via words or body-language. Here is an interesting experiential report from Claudiu –

Claudiu: Animals also are particularly sensitive to vibes. On one occasion I was home alone with the dogs, I got extremely upset and worked myself up into a frenzy, ran into the bedroom and hit the pillows a few times. It was full on anger and rage. And one of the dogs ran into the bedroom and started barking at the wall. Though she may have been triggered by the sound of me hitting the pillows, really what she was responding to was the intense angry vibes that I was (involuntarily) putting out, to the extent that she felt there was an intruder in the house that she had to protect me from (she had no idea that it came from me). And in a sense I was an ‘intruder’ in that moment (though the rage quickly passed). (March 2022).

When I became actually free I was curious about not emanating psychic vibes and I observed how (higher order) wild animals let me approach closer, i.e. not noticing my presence until a sound alerted them. The pet dogs of a client, who used to give ‘Vineeto’ a friendly welcome, took no notice of me after becoming free.

Richard: ‘The colloquialism ‘vibes’ does not refer to body-language but to the affective feelings and gained currency in the ‘sixties (as in ‘I can feel your pain’ or ‘I can feel your anger’ and so on) – even the military are well aware of this as I had it impressed upon me, prior to going to war in my youth, that fear is contagious and can spread like wildfire if unchecked – and another example is being in the presence of an enlightened being (known as ‘Darshan’ in the Indian tradition) so as to be bathed in the overwhelming love and compassion such a being radiates.

Yet behind the feelings lie the psychic energies/ currents which emanate from being itself’. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 41, 3 Dec 2003, Vibes).

(Richard’s selected correspondence on Vibes and Psychic Currents can give you further information/ explanation for your contemplations.)

ROY: Edit: Regarding the vibes, I used to believe in vibes. For example: “I don’t trust this person, because he is giving me negative/ weird vibes”. But eventually I realized it was just prejudice. For e.g., there was this one person I felt negativity towards and one day I was reminded of someone else, from my youth, that looked similar. I think now that somehow, unconsciously, this was the cause for my distrust.

VINEETO: I guess that you still ‘believe’ in vibes in regards to acting according to your (unconscious) perception of them. But because you believe/think that felt vibes are “just prejudice” (flipping from belief to disbelief) you now notice/remember only what confirms your present concept. You can instead throw out both belief and disbelief and replace it with personal observational evidence you gather.

You may start noticing how you check out approaching strangers psychically from a distance if they are ‘friend’ or ‘foe’ before you are even able to distinguish their facial expression or hear their voice. When I became actually free the first thing I noticed with astonishment that this was no longer operating so much so that at first I was disconcerted how I would be able to function safely in the world of people and events. It quickly turned out to be an unnecessary concern after all, as a freely operating intelligence is perfectly capable of looking after this body.

‘Vineeto’ had long been fascinated by psychic vibes /powers in ‘her’ spiritual years and as such learned to be cautious not to jump to conclusions either way. However, some experiences where so outstandingly obvious when ‘she’ experienced strong negative vibes/currents in several people ‘she’ interacted with at certain situations, it made ‘her’ even more determined to end the psychic ‘being’ in once and for all.

‘Vineeto’: I remember one incident with the woman I had lived and worked with for several years. One day in the office she received a phone call and, being the secretary, I took it, recognized her partner’s voice and transferred it to her into the next room, saying nothing but hello to the man. I didn’t hear the conversation as my door was closed, and just kept working on the daily accounts. From the moment of the call I had fierce pain in my stomach and thoughts of intense fear racing through my head that had nothing to do with my personal situation. After two hours it finally clicked – I went over to ask her if she had a fight with her partner on the phone. She said they did. My pain disappeared immediately. After this incident I investigated what made me so receptive to her vibes and feelings and I came to understand that my feelings of love for her were enough for me to be psychically connected to her fears and pain. (Actualism, Vineeto, Selected Correspondence, Psyche).

I found another one of ‘Vineeto’s’ observations in 2000 experiencing psychic currents (from a distance of 800+ kms) –

‘Vineeto’: Yesterday I watched the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games [on TV] and found it an excellent example of the psychic web in action. A band of 2000 musicians from all over the world was playing, all nationalities wearing an identical blue-red-beige uniform, everyone marching in exact formations while playing the various national hymns from all over the world. The audience’s spirit was soaring high, cheers and tears, overwhelmed by the feeling of ‘we are all one’, ‘we are the world’, feeling unity, glory, bliss and love. It is amazing how simple methods – heart-stirring music, uniforms and people marching in formations – can cast an effective spell on the collective human psyche.

However, the feeling of ‘unity’ immediately dispersed as soon as the athletes of all the countries started marching into the stadium wearing their national costumes, under individual flags. Then the psychic scene changed, the feeling was now of individual national pride. Each nation was now separate from the other and soon each athlete will be competing against the others for the glory of their particular country and for their own personal fame. The feeling of Unity is but a short-lived feeling ... the psychic vibe changes readily when the music changes. (Actualism, Vineeto, List D, James, 17.9.2000)

I have to add that at this time ‘Vineeto’ was aware enough of ‘her’ own feelings to know what ‘she’ experienced were not ‘her’ own feelings of ‘unity’, ‘we are all one’, bliss and love.

ROY: Similarly, I used to believe in psychic connections. One time I had a panic attack out of the blue and later learned that a person dear to me had died at precisely that time. And so I connected the two. But nowadays I simply think this was a weird coincidence.

VINEETO: There are many reports from people having strong psychic intimations/ experiences at the exact time when a loved one died, so that seems to be a common human experience for those sensitive to it. Some time after your own experience your present concept of disbelief in psychic vibes/currents made you think otherwise. Yet you still don’t know what really happens.

For investigations into the human condition it is most conducive when you are able to suspend both belief and disbelief as much as possible. After all, endeavouring to free yourself from the human condition you are engaged into an investigation into the depth of your psyche, i.e. your emotions and passions, and it can be both weird and wonderful.

Cheers Vineeto

February 14 2025

ROY: Thank you Vineeto, I have to give this another read but I just wanted to write something here at this moment:

One thing I tried to force me into, months ago, was to have a journal. It was hard to keep this habit and it was a messy process – I started with a public blog, then a notebook, then writing on my phone, then recording audios, while simultaneously still writing some things publicly here in this forum. It helped in two ways: (1) it forced me to closer inspect my current state but (2) the main benefit is that I can now read how about my experiences of months ago. This turns out to be very interesting because apparently (and I already had a sense that this was the case) I tend to transfer my current mood into these past memories. So my current identity would overtake the memories, as if it was fixed and unchanged through time. So just as I thought, I can’t completely trust my memories (in this particular aspect at least).

VINEETO: Hi Roy,

You are very welcome. I sounds like a very useful idea to keep some kind of a journal or written notes. You already had some very practical results and insights. Feelings always tend to colour not only the present experience but also the past and future outlook. When one is sad, one has always been like this and it will always be like this (unless the feeling changes to hope). It’s the very nature of the feeling itself. So it’s great to have a record. 

ROY: The most important part is I now can compare the farther away past and the recent past and… it’s amazing how completely different my mood is on a daily basis. It is very very different. I used to be angry, sad and frustrated all the time, in comparison. Even feeling good at the time was not feeling good as it is now.

VINEETO: Congratulations. You can pat yourself on the back – this is just as much part of appreciation as appreciating anything else about this moment of being alive.

ROY: Yesterday when I was searching a bit more about vibes here in the forum, I found the report from Milito Paz and read his description of his experience. I found it interesting because for me, as up ’til now, the change in my mood and day-to-day experience, is different from what I had imagined it could be. Because it’s not like I’m feeling on the “top of the world” all of the time. It’s simply a fairly consistent state of feeling good – not in the sense of immense excitement, but in the sense of wide satisfaction and peace, punctuated with minor incidents. It’s not like I have replaced the old deranged rollercoaster with a fairytale-like rollercoaster. It’s more like a beautiful path with some occasional potholes.

VINEETO: For a warning, when reading Milito Paz’ reports – he suddenly disappeared when his report was questioned. It is most likely that he mistook his experience for an actual freedom when it was in fact an extensive ‘actuality-mimicking altered state of consciousness’. There have been a few short-lived similar experiences amongst actualists – the new alternative to spiritual ASCs, when the ‘self’ needs an outlet from intense pressure. He had also reported that 2 years prior he was depressed for a long time, though that narrative changed remarkably of what he reported last year.

Here is a short excerpt summary from Richard’s editorial note in a long correspondence on this very topic –

Richard: A possible clue is to be found in a post from twelve days ago (12 Jan 2016; Message № 21544). Viz.:

• [Alan]: ‘... given my history, I would definitely qualify as bipolar were I to place myself in the hands of the ‘sane’ psychiatrists (...)’. [endquote].

Now, whilst most certainly not being in the business of making amateurish psychiatric diagnoses – and especially not via email and chat message information – I do have more than a passing familiarity with both the hypomanic and manic phases characteristic of what is nowadays classified under some form of Bipolar Affective Disorder (BAD) through having lived with a woman of a hyperthymic temperament (hyperthymia as distinct from euthymia), for over a decade, plus interacting with more than a few persons officially diagnosed bipolar (a.k.a. ‘manic-depressive’) and, thus, under specialist treatment.

Thus I do know it is possible to slip into a hypomanic state whilst illuding oneself that it fits the criterion for ‘out-from-control’ as per actualism lingo – and I especially know this via gradually talking a person so afflicted back out of it over time – and one of the hallmarks is the initial difficulty in ‘reaching’ such a person (they are ‘out of reach’ of normal discourse) due to the certitude such a state imbues. (…)

(In my experience a person in the manic phase of bipolar is unreachable, period, and it is only through that most-unfortunate state wearing-off, of its own accord (with or without medication), that normal discourse may recommence).

Incidentally, as there are warnings aplenty on The Actual Freedom Trust web site – about the likely danger of veering off into altered states (either of the spiritual or psychiatric variety) when one ventures beyond the norm ill-prepared – I have retired from talking any such person back out of those cul-de-sacs. (Richard, List D, Claudiu4).

Hence Milito’s report is the wrong kind to compare your own achievements with his. You have done very well in such a short time.

ROY: And I guess this has been a side-effect of the actualism method. Because I’m working on simply examining my day to day, I stopped spending time imagining “what if’s”. I don’t really focus on what “could be”, because I’m spending the time examining what is or seems to be. And it helps that I’m good at examining – it is something I have been doing all my life – but incorrectly. I was focusing on the wrong things. I was trying all the self-improvements and productivity and self-help advice I could find instead of focusing on what was right in front of me: how I’m really experiencing this moment, and why?

VINEETO: This is an excellent re-focussing. Kuba can probably tell you something about his findings of his own “self-improvement” efforts. Now that you are contemplating re-orientation I recommend accessing your long-lost naiveté via utter sincerity – which for most people had been hidden away since puberty – being like a child again but with adult sensibilities. It may take a bit of courage if you are hesitant to appear foolish but it is immensely rewarding. This is not only to learn again to have fun but also to recognize how truly wondrous life is when you let yourself freely and naïvely enjoy and appreciate it. While “self-improvement” may improve what you are doing (and inadvertently also improve the ‘self’), naiveté will entice you to improve what you are being.

ROY: In conclusion, I’ll continue and try to catch myself whenever I contemplate (which happens occasionally) things like “Oh wouldn’t it be great if I could trigger PCEs?” “Oh wouldn’t it be great if I could get rid of my ‘self’?” etc… and simply focus on investigating how I’m experiencing the moment. In the past, situations have happened where I tried to get something really hard and was unable, just to later stop chasing it and have it drop on my lap. Maybe that’ll happen this time? We’ll see.

VINEETO: Rather than catching yourself, why not be less serious in your attitude towards yourself … sincere yes, but not serious. With naiveté operating you can easily and joyfully allow/invite a PCE to happen.

Cheers Vineeto

February 15 2025

ROY: … Wanting to write for someone else is probably just my ego trying to leave some sort of legacy, trying to prove that it matters to someone. I can print a PDF with parts of the Actual Freedom website instead.

Hi Roy,

Your thinking about writing for the benefits of others doesn’t hold up as you already received feedback how it has helped some people and how you commented that other people’s writing helped you. It does matter. Apart from possible ego-enhancing reasons there is also fellowship regard, the very reason why, for instance, Richard wrote all he did during the last 25 years.

All that has been written before actualism is how to cope with the firmly entrenched ubiquitous belief that you cannot change human nature. Anyone’s writing about the opposite being demonstrably and successfully the case can only benefit the human race now and in the long run. You haven’t been told, by any chance, that the meek shall inherit the earth, have you?

ROY: My path is unique (because I’m a unique person in this time and space) but it’s not special in any way. I think it’s normal to feel like I’ve chosen this path, but what happened is that I made some choices that oriented me slightly in a direction and then life happened and I ended up here. It’s basically this in repeat – the path is maze-like in reality and it’s my ego that tries to picture it as a clear path that was solely possible thanks to its choices. But in fact it was also about chance and many factors I had no control over. My children will have to go on their own different maze-like paths and I can’t teach them any shortcuts because I’ve no idea where they are headed. The only thing I can do for them is to be happy and harmless.

VINEETO: Yes, your “children will have to go on their own different maze-like paths” and yet you can already pass on some of the things you have discovered. Children often can understand more of what one gives them credit for. For instance –

RESPONDENT: What do you say to your grandchildren when they are hurt, desolate, crying?

RICHARD: I say the same to my grandchildren when they are hurt, desolate or crying as I say to any body and every body – no body is special – which is: all mental-emotional-psychic suffering is an unnecessary and self-inflicted wound. (Richard, General Correspondence, Page 9a, 21 March 2000).

RICHARD: Back when I was a father, when my then children would ask me if Santa Claus was real, I would say yes but not actual like a table is, for instance, as their mother was full-on into the traditions and such diplomatic answers, rather than an outright no, made for relative domestic harmony ... and they had no difficulty whatsoever in grasping that concept (and applying it to witches riding broomsticks as well and fairies at the bottom of the garden and so on). (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 25b, 19 July 2003).

Also, you are probably already discovering that being a friend to your children is much more fun than being a parent –

TARIN: What was the influence/ effect of your parenting during that era [of enlightement] on the child you mention?

RICHARD: As mentioned at the beginning of that e-mail you found the above quote in the relationship had changed, during that era, from one of parentage to one of friendship ...

TARIN: Do you think this change benefited your children ...

RICHARD: No, I know that it did ... if nothing else it was much more fun.

Essentially, all what is required of any progenitor is to ensure that their off-spring are adequately equipped for adulthood (are able to effectively operate and function independently in the environment they are born into).

TARIN: ... is it any better to be a friend to one’s child than a parent?

RICHARD: It certainly is ... just for starters: being much more fun it readily promotes open learning (children are congenitally curious).

TARIN: If so, in what ways? I have already read this part: [quote] ‘(and they all appreciated that immensely ... as exemplified by the youngest often saying how glad she was that the ‘bossy-boots dad’ was gone)’ [endquote].

RICHARD: By not being either authoritarian (as distinct from authoritative) or disciplinarian a child’s innate inquisitiveness is not stifled – and many such educators have bemoaned the lack of motivation in their subject students – inasmuch curiosity’s concomitant keenness for discovery provides more than enough incentive.

Apart from being innately curious children are also inherently imitative – as indicated by the term ‘role-model’ – and it should not take genius to suss out the advantages friendship has over parentship (or any other form of kinship for that matter). (Richard, Actual Freedom List, Tarin, 14 June 2006)

You’ll find out as you go along.

Cheers Vineeto

February 15 2025

As I now start to investigate the positive feelings too, I can’t immediately pinpoint why exactly I am feeling good. And like Felix mentioned, I am also quite numb in terms of how much I get from my senses… Maybe this feeling good that I’m experiencing is, to some extent, related to the feeling that I’m making progress. And/or to the fact that I’m doing something that I’m good at: examining/ investigating. But what if I stopped progressing? What if I stopped sharing my progress here, and stopped receiving reassuring messages from people in this forum, that I am making progress? Maybe this forum has become my new source of dopamine hits… Feels uncomfortable to consider this.

VINEETO: Hi Roy,

Even though you said you are feeling much better than you did a few months ago you still seem to have a modus operandi/ habit(?) of interpreting your progress as something potentially negative. This is your ‘self’-preservation in action, a trick of ‘me’ to prevent change, not to be confused with being sensibly cautious or “examining/ investigating”.

Just thought I’ll let you know.

ROY: EDIT: I’m feeling anxious right now with the thought that I may be (to some extent at least) fooling myself and that this current “feeling good” may not be sustainable in the long run.

VINEETO: Well, “feeling good” can change, as all feelings are in flux (being the swirling vortex of instinctual passions that you are). However, as you described in your previous post you have a new feeling good “default set-point” (Marvelling At How Well-Equipped Humans Are) which you can come back to from each emotional adventure.

Perhaps it is also the prospect of testing the waters of naiveté, which makes you wonder if you are not “fooling” yourself. Remember to focus on the thrilling part of fear/anxiousness … it is there where you source the required courage.

Cheers Vineeto