claudiu: Hello all,

I’m happy to announce the newest addition to the AFT site has just gone live: “Reports on being Out-from-Control”.

This contains selected reports from Richard & Vineeto’s writings, as well as my own recent reports of my ongoing out-from-control experience. My section contains a lot of previously-unpublished material, all in a chronological, put-together order. I think it serves the purpose well of showing what it’s experientially like to be out-from-control, with a higher level of detail than has been previously available.

To those who know the flavour of pure intent, are familiar with PCEs, and in particular have experienced the greatly heightened and more-readily available appreciation that has recently been pouring forth (as reported by many in “Richard has passed away” and “Excerpts of All-pervading Sweetness”), I’ll take this opportunity to encourage you to read the reports with the intention in mind of taking this next step of going out-from-control yourselves. It is a smaller step to take than it seems before-hand and yet the ramifications are much larger than one might initially appreciate. I can report that it is perfectly safe, wonderful, wondrous, mirificent, and eminently doable.

Cheers & best regards,
Claudiu

Claudiu, DAO: Reports on being Out-from-Control, 9 September 2024

claudiu: Hehehe yes I have had this realization on occasion, that there’s actually apparently nothing I can do to turn back! The immediate reaction is a mounting alarm, at which point I realize that this is what I actually wanted, and instead I’m left in wonderment.

claudiu: Yea this is a vital topic, and perhaps the following report will speak to James’s query:

Increasingly I find myself being remarkably puzzled at people’s reactions. I will say something that is completely sincere, straightforward, harmless, curious even – and I can feel via vibes or psychic currents that something in ‘them’ reacted, they are now defensive, even in one case became remarkably aggressive and offensive. And instead of getting retributively defensive which was the norm before, now my reaction is more – what on odd reaction! Why would they react this way? It doesn’t make any sense.

Thinking about it now, of course it is obvious why – they are in the pit of the human condition, this is completely ‘normal’. But actually it makes no sense at all. This speaks to what you are saying here Kuba about not being able to relate to others (but we can still pay lip service!!)

In a remarkable sense it’s that anytime anybody gets upset about anything, it is essentially all imaginary, none of this is ‘real’. Of course they feel upset, but… the whole ‘construct’ of ‘being upset’ doesn’t actually exist. It’s like suddenly someone gets possessed by some other-worldly ‘force’ that they allow to happen and drive them to do this silly thing. From the point of view of the actual world, that is exactly what is happening, that “other-worldly ‘force’” is nothing other than the human condition in action. From the point of view of the real world, of course it is actuality which seems “other-worldly” and these feelings are all justified.

The remarkably freeing thing is seeing that I don’t have to participate, at all! I have an experiential report that maybe some can relate to and it can help them to see what I mean.

On many an occasion in the past, I would be having a relatively vivid dream, and some truly horrible circumstance would be happening in the dream. Just something actually awful. And I would be worried, upset, trying to solve the problem, etc. Yet at some point I semi-recognize that I’m dreaming, and I was able to take this stance along the lines of “this can all just go away and it doesn’t matter” – at which point that upset *completely vanished* as I realized it was just a dream (sometimes this would happen soon after waking rather than in the dream). In essence it was a full ‘reset’.

What I find now is that – I am doing this in normal, waking life! It is really very simple. I’m just able to see that I *can* do such a ‘reset’ (i.e. get back to feeling good), and it happens! It’s like I’m able to easily and rapidly completely wipe the slate clean. And… *nothing bad happens* as a result of this! No fact of the situation changes, and I function even better in life, the actual problems still get addressed (it’s not a burying head in the sand)… it’s just this total emotional wiping of the slate to be virtually pure and pristine instead.

And it strikes me that that’s exactly what the actualism method is! And in terms of leaving humanity, it is in a sense coming to grips with the fact that *I can just do this* and *I can “get away” with it*! This is why the actual world is ever-fresh, pure, and pristine… nothing ‘dirty’ ever gets in because all this that we feel as ‘dirty’ has as much existence as the dream, i.e. none at all actually. The ‘real world’ is like a dream super-imposed onto actuality that we take to be serious, but it isn’t, not at all. There is nothing about it that is actual, tangible, factual, and nothing about it that needs to be preserved. Everything functions much better without it!

That’s all for now

Cheers,
Claudiu

Claudiu, DAO: Reports on being Out-from-Control, 13 September 2024

claudiu: Things are fantabulously fantastic :)) It is difficult to construct words to adequately describe how amazingly wondrous life is when living this near-perfection. A busy workday is no longer something that causes any stress, but is just a delightful opportunity for the already-existing and well-developed cognitive faculties to become engaged. Situations that initially feel like they would be stressful, I think about whether there really is any reason to stress about it, and I see that it’s just like any other situation, a matter of steps to take, one after the other, each bringing the situation closer to a resolution.

In a way I would describe myself as experiencing emotions more than before, not less. There is no filter, or suppression, or backing away from experiencing them fully. Yet when I find myself taking actions in the world even while experiencing such intensity, I find that they are caring and considerate actions that are for the most part unaffected by what I’m feeling. It’s just something to experience and then the experience of it shows there’s a better way, i.e. that the non-felicitous feelings are redundant and not necessary.

Yesterday night while driving home from the gym I experienced how what actual freedom is actually literally perfection! It is the way I always wanted life to be – actually perfect, as in, thoroughly, 100% of every possible aspect of being alive is perfect, there is no need to compromise on any aspect of how I experience myself. This is now just very straightforwardly something I want and am actively pursuing of how to cross the finish line at last, rather than something that in the past I would be encouraging myself to pursue – if that distinction makes sense :))

It is all truly wonderful and I directly experience it now that my days are very numbered indeed!

Claudiu, DAO: Claudiu’s Journal, 20 September 2024