May 22 2025

KUBA: But what that teenage boy called Kuba wanted back then is what I can live now, that just as the jumps jumped themselves, life lives itself, and just like ‘I’ would get out of the way just before a big jump being done ‘I’ can get out of the way and allow this moment to happen of it’s own accord.

From the eyes of ‘human wisdom’ it seems utterly foolish and from the eyes of ‘my’ passionate instinctual nature it feels dangerous. Yet looking back each time ‘I’ dared to release the controls and to step back a little more things only got better, and things have only been getting better, in every way going.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

You are correct – looking at it sensibly/ apperceptively it is “not such a big ask is it, to finally have a rest from all that.” It is to stop doing what you have been told to do throughout your life – ‘doing it their way’ – and allow ‘doing’ what it happening of its own accord – ‘doing it your way’.

Respondent: What was the difference between you and them?

Richard: I am none too sure there was any difference: I was a normal person; I was born of normal parents; I had normal siblings; I had a normal upbringing; I attended a normal (state) school; I obtained a normal occupation; I had a normal wife; I had normal children ... and so on and so forth.

Respondent: The way you describe it, it wasn’t even that much of a struggle for you (found the secret to life inside the first three months???).

Richard: It was inside the first few weeks, actually, of putting into action what was startlingly evident in the four-hour pure consciousness experience (PCE) which had finally provided the direction my otherwise following-the-herd way of living was singularly lacking (although there was a six-month incubation period between the PCE and the application thereof).

I distinctly recall informing my then-wife at the time that I had ‘done it their way’, for 34 years and to no avail, and that it was high-time I did it my way (and when she asked what way that was I said that I did not know but that it would become progressively apparent with each step I took).

Respondent: So why haven’t millions of others discovered that they can feel excellent by choosing to ...

Richard: Quite possibly – and I am not being facetious here – they were/ are waiting for someone else to do it/ show the way (for, despite many peoples huff-and-puff about leaders, there have always been pioneers, who have blazed the trails others follow, and always will be).

Respondent: ... unless, of course, they can’t ...

Richard: It is not so much a case of they can not but, rather, that they will not. [Emphasis added]. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 60g, 30 October 2005b).

Richard: And although one may think and feel that it would be a lonely journey to take on one’s own it is not ... it is the most joyous escapade one can ever enter into.
It is the jaunt of a lifetime. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, Alan-b, 13 December 1999).

It looks like you get well used to and immensely enjoy now doing it your way, step by step.

Cheers Vineeto

May 28 2025

KUBA: So last week I managed to resolve the question ‘I’ had around allowing excellence, yesterday something clicked with regards to expecting excellence from others. This was also a long standing habit of mine and the main reason I would get sour these days. (…)

And it is all rather simple when this is seen, because each individual is left standing on their own two feet, living their life. Then I am not obligated but neither am I expecting things from others. Of course excellence can still flow but without expectation and obligation there is no attempt to change the other, which always fails anyways.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

Well said. Recognising the fact that others are fellow human beings is closely linked to being naïve, where you like yourself and like others. As such feeling excellent puts you in the perfect disposition to have no expectations/ no disappointment regarding what others do or not do and equally does away with any feeling of obligation/ responsibility and/or guilt/ shame regarding what you do.

KUBA: I am reminded of Richard’s journal where he explored the “social contract” which everyone is apparently signing by being born into a society. Where I am proceeding now there is no contract either way. How fascinating that it is possible to live in peace and harmony where there is no contract, no blueprint, no obligation or responsibility. It seems this is only possible in a virtual freedom or actual freedom so for now the law, courts, police, army etc are still required. But I do not have to wait for society to change before I unilaterally exit this ‘contract’ or rather realise that the ‘contract’ was never actual.

VINEETO: The ‘social contract’ locks you inside of ‘humanity’ with its wide-ranging consequences, whereas when you recognize/ realise that such ‘contract’ does not exist in actuality, your actual parameters are felicity and benevolence, purity and magnanimity, naiveté and ingenuousness – or, in other words amorality. Then you act according to the facts and pure intent in each situation and your life becomes a playful and very liberating adventure.

Richard: ‘amoral: unconcerned with or outside morality; neither moral nor immoral; being beyond the moral order or a particular code of morals’. ~ (Oxford Dictionary).

[...] to be ‘amoral’ is when a person can totally and reliably be capable of spontaneously interacting in the world of people, things and events, in a way that is neither personally insalubrious nor socially reprehensible, at all times and under any circumstance without exception. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 10a, 25 July 2000).

You might also like this one –

Richard: … there is simply no reason at all why gainful employment need be anything other than fun.

For instance, all my best work (back when supporting both a wife and a family) always happened when I was having the most fun; in fact I have some very blurry black and white ‘home movie’ type footage of myself, circa March 1981, which ends with ‘me’ saying: ‘Do your own thing ... but have fun; if you’re not having fun then, hell, stop doing it, something is wrong; if you’re not having fun, if you have to force yourself to go to work, if you’re unhappy, something is wrong’. Within weeks ‘he’ was carted off to a hospital emergency care unit in a catatonic state and ... and here we are today having this illuminating chat about our fancy dreams.

Who else can be enticed to come out and play – to join me here in this actual world – and live life where all is fun yet where everything which needs to be done does get done (albeit playfully) because of those oh-so-vital adult sensibilities? ‘Tis yours for the asking, so to speak, as no one is stopping you but yourself; no time is the right time to make it all happen as the right time only comes about when you have it happen; it is not a case of being ready for it as being ready only occurs when you have it occur; all you get by waiting is more waiting as now is the moment where it all happens; everything which happens only ever happens now. Actuality is where more than your fancy dreams can come true – much, much more – as life itself, here, is beyond even any of your most absolutely wild fantasies.

This is what is actually better than best. (Richard, List D, No. 4, 14 December 2009).

Cheers Vineeto

May 30 2025

KUBA: So earlier I was wondering how is it that it’s possible to live in peace and harmony without all that ‘tried and true’ stuff, what happens when morality is removed, when there is no contract, blueprint, belief, value etc to guide one’s actions. Essentially it is that “leaf blowing in the wind” furphy, and this has now been obliterated!

Vineeto: Since then I experience myself as what I am, not just this physical body but with particular qualities to the experiencing which to my own surprise I called ‘what I always wanted to be/what I have always been’ even though I have never lived it. For an analogy of how I experience what I am at core I have to go into the Greek mythology where people’s imagination had populated nature with nymphs, inherent/ chthonic to springs or trees or groves. This experience of myself is very light and playful, as if living naked in the wilderness, utterly on my own and undeniably undefined by either people or events. I described it as being innocence personified. Sensuosity, sensuality and sexuality are as much part of what I am just as sexuality and abundance are happening in nature everywhere. (Private correspondence, 29 November 29, 2010). (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Srinath, #spacial).

This is also amorality, this time it is part and parcel of actual innocence. But this amorality is not empty, it is not a “leaf blowing in the wind” etc. There is something wonderful that is at the basis of one’s actions / inclinations when actually free.

And the problem with any morality is that it gets in the way of freely enjoying and appreciating what one is. So I can see now that proceeding in this direction where I am going there is no need at all for morality, and it is this absence of any ‘human’ construct which allows enjoyment and appreciation without any cap, or any kind of restricting influence.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

They are great insights and you managed to gain some more information how life in the actual world would look like from ‘my’ perspective (if pure intent was operating).

I compared it once to a game of chess in a message to Roy on May 1 this year –

Vineeto: It’s like playing chess with yourself – on one side the identity programmed to keep the status quo and on the other side your sincere intent to feel good, feel excellent, be more naïve, more considerate, a friend to yourself and benevolent towards your fellow human beings. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Roy, 1 May 2025).

Having followed your process for a while now, seemingly getting closer to becoming free but never quite, I am reminded more of a poker game where ‘I’ prestidigitatiously manifest one card after another to keep ‘my’ game going. You twigged to it yourself in the next message.

However, no matter how many times each particular objection gets invalidated the ultimate objection (that ‘I’ don’t want to go extinct) still remains intact.

What do you reckon?

Cheers Vineeto

May 30 2025

KUBA: What has come to my attention recently is this habit of ‘mine’ where ‘I’ seek to lay out what is ahead, essentially planning out and scheming how things will happen. And not just concerning self-immolation but even day to day living. It seems lately this habit is being chipped away at, and not even by ‘me’ as much as by the facts of life.

It dawned on me this morning that ‘I’ have woken up thousands of times and planned “how the day is going to go” and not a single time it happened as per the plan/scheme, and yet ‘I’ wake up once again and do the same thing… lol. It is becoming more and more obvious that it is simply impossible for ‘me’ to create a plan/scheme and to have life fit into it. In fact by the time ‘I’ say ‘my’ plan out loud things have already changed enough that it no longer applies, so it is now progressively being seen as completely useless to do this at all, what for? (…)

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

This is what you understood at that time when you considered allowing going out-from-control in July last year –

Kuba: Those ‘last remaining cobwebs’ is exactly how I would describe those remaining dramas, it seems ‘I’ am only holding onto what’s left of them in order to block the momentum that would otherwise follow. This is the tricky part, proceeding without knowing with certainty what the destination is like, it’s stepping into the unknowable. It seems ‘I’ am instead searching for 100% certainty before ‘I’ dare to step out of the cage, which is of course an impossibility as this can only be had upon actual freedom. [Emphasis added]

However, despite knowing that ‘you’ will never know with certainty what the destination is like, because ‘you’ will have to become extinct in order to reach the ultimate destination, ‘you’ still play the game of finding out the impossible, even when you “dispensed with” “all of ‘my’ planning and scheming”. At some point your unequivocal agreement to ‘your’ demise is imperative to reach your destiny.

KUBA: So what I am contemplating is whether all of ‘my’ planning and scheming can be safely dispensed with. (…)

VINEETO: In the meantime, to “safely dispense with” “all of ‘my’ planning and scheming” means allowing the ‘doer’, the ‘controller’, the ‘planer’, the ‘schemer’ to be fully recognized and disappear for good in order for the ‘beer’ (with pure intent) to fully come to the fore. This is exactly what the word naiveté refers to.

KUBA: Of course if Richard needed to go to the shop which closes at 8pm and the drive is 15min then he would understand that he needs to leave before 7:45 and would act accordingly. But is this kind of “planning” the same activity as what ‘I’ am doing when ‘I’ wake up and create a stencil of the day ahead which ‘I’ am then seeking to live out?

VINEETO: Ha, if Richard had followed the advice of ‘your’ planner he would have arrived at the shop exactly at the time it closes. Obviously this kind of “planning” is not “the same activity as what ‘I’ am doing when ‘I’ wake up and create a stencil of the day ahead which ‘I’ am then seeking to live out”.

Joking aside, upon honest contemplation you might see that ‘your’ habit of “planning and scheming” has no role to play in how Richard describes out-from-being-under-control –

Richard: Being out-from-control/ in a different-way-of-being is quite daunting to contemplate as an on-going EE marks the end of the beginning of the end of ‘me’ and the commencement of the actualism process – as distinct from the actualism method – wherein a momentum not of ‘my’ doing takes over and an inevitability sets in; in an on-going EE the actual world has the effect of impelling one towards it – like a moth to a candle as the overarching benignity and benevolence of the actual increasingly operates such as to render ‘my’ felicity/ innocuity increasingly redundant; this is where being the nearest a ‘self’ can be to innocence – the naiveté located betwixt the core of being and the sexual centre (where one is both likeable and liking) – is attached as if with a golden thread or clew to the purity of actual innocence; an on-going EE is, thus, where one becomes acclimatised to benignity and benevolence and the resultant blitheness because the purity of the actual is so powerful that it would ‘blow the fuses’ if one was to venture into this territory ill-prepared. (Richard, List D, No. 12, 9 December 2009a)

Richard: In effect, the actualism process is what ensues when one gets out from being under control, via having given oneself prior permission to have one’s life live itself (i.e., sans the controlling doer), and a different way of being comes about (i.e., where the beer is the operant) – whereupon a thrilling out-from-control momentum takes over and an inevitability sets in – whereafter there is no pulling back (hence the reluctance in having it set in motion) as once begun it is nigh-on unstoppable.
Then one is in for the ride of a lifetime! [Emphasis added] (Richard, List D, Claudiu4, 28 January 2016)

Cheers Vineeto

June 2 2025

KUBA: There is certainly inaction in terms of proceeding towards self immolation currently, which is linked to having tried all the doors ‘I’ could find so far. But as you say perhaps ‘I’ am looking for a door which leads to somewhere where ‘I’ continue existing in some obscure manner, perhaps it is because ‘I’ am not looking for the door which leads to ‘my’ extinction.

Which is quite funny to think of it that way, maybe that door isn’t so hard to find after all, it’s more that ‘I’ am not looking for the door marked "extinction", just the doors that allow ‘me’ to continue ‘being’ a little longer.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

That seems to be a valuable insight (“‘I’ am not looking for the door marked “extinction”.”)

I wish you fun … until you tire of your present interest in opening the doors that lead nowhere.

It will happen when ‘you’ are ready.

Cheers Vineeto

June 2 2025

KUBA: Yes all this talk around naiveté is really something, I especially liked the below which Vineeto wrote to Claudiu :

Vineeto: Ha, the addiction to sudorifically finding one’s way through an imagined jungle of chores and traps is not easy to abandon, hey, but it’s really worthwhile. Make friends with not knowing what’s going to happen next, with experimenting living without plan and scheme, don’t envision you have to ‘tick off’ ‘self’-set tasks. It’s not vigilance you need, it’s a change in attitude towards life itself and towards your fellow human beings. Re-discover how to play and play together. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, 1 June 2025a)

Indeed that is exactly how I experience becoming more naive, it’s a change in attitude towards life itself, it’s a fundamental shift in how ‘I’ experience being alive, and with far reaching consequences. I experience it as if working from the very depths of ‘my’ being and out towards the “outer layers of the onion”, rather than the usual way which is something like tinkering with the outer layers whilst the core of ‘me’ remains unchanged.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

Thank you for your lucid understanding – “working from the very depths of ‘my’ being and out towards the “outer layers of the onion”, rather than the usual way which is something like tinkering with the outer layers whilst the core of ‘me’ remains unchanged.”

Cheers Vineeto