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(List D refers to Richard’s List D
Vineeto’s Correspondence with Claudiu Discuss Actualism Forum
, Claudiu, 24 April 2024). CLAUDIU: I reread it and was just blown away by how immaculate and perfectly articulated
Richard’s writing is. I experienced what I’ve called “Richard’s energy” while reading it – which
refers to pure intent, of course. The flawlessness of what he apperceptively wrought leaves nothing but admiration and
a salient desire and aim – I want to be that! VINEETO: Dear Claudiu, It takes apperceptive reading to recognize the significance and immaculate perfection of those words, and then there is no choice but “to want to be that!” This is truly wonderful. Cheers Vineeto
CLAUDIU: Thought I’d write an update. Funnily enough I was thinking it’s been ages, weeks and weeks, since I wrote any update – and now I see it’s only been 5 days lol. It’s a bit of an odd period though. There is certainly something preventing me from continuing, but have not figured out what yet. The evidence there is a blocker / an objection is that the pristine purity is not shining forth as powerfully as I know it can! Perhaps it is my drive related to work coming to the forefront. I set myself a goal for Dec 31st to finish, which I did and put lot of effort into – and there was no felt ‘reward’ for having done it, which was interesting! It just seemed like it was pointless to have set that arbitrary emotion-driven goal haha. There’s still much work to do that I would like to get done since it’s been a few months on this task that I felt should not have taken so long – but OTOH rather than being driven I’m more feeling driven but also seeing the futility of feeling driven. It doesn’t necessarily make the work go faster! Actually the contrary, I get into a somewhat hyperactive state and although that is effective for a time, eventually ends up that I need more stimulation to maintain it, and the brain is too tired to work effectively so ends up being X/Twitter or something like this. But even so it’s not like I feel stuck in terms of progressing to self-immolating. It’s more like there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do, or latch onto, to ‘make it happen faster’. Anything along those lines it just seems like it wouldn’t be what delivers the goods And at the same time, any self-flagellating for ‘falling back’ or ‘not progressing’ is also completely absent! It just makes no sense to do that. In the past (before going out-from-control) probably what would have happened is I would self-flagellate and then ‘try harder’ and keep doing this meanwhile being driven and sort of spiral away, until eventually I stop. Now the experience is more like I’m seeing the elements of this recurring – which is normal, it’s an ingrained/conditioned habit – but my experience of it is different, it’s more like it is puzzling to witness it happening haha. What seems to actually work is to contemplate and reflect on what is happening and piece together how I am ticking and why, and contrast it to the purity I know so well now, and just the act of doing this, is what clears the field. It seemed strange for a while (“a while” haha has just been 5 days since I last wrote anything) but thinking about it now it seems more like I’m on the right track. There is no forcing of anything, the only thing preventing me from self-immolating is me, and it’s a matter of figuring out what it is, the answer is obvious that there is only one way this all ends (self-immolating) and there’s no question of whether to do it (the answer is ‘yes’), so, just a matter of… doing it! It is strange not feeling like there is some sort of ‘progress bar’ or ‘momentum’ that I have to maintain. It comes down to not ever having been in control in the first place, perhaps! 
VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Well, first you say “there is certainly something preventing me from continuing …” but further down you say “it’s more like there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do”. You seem to have worked it out when you say “what seems to actually work is to contemplate and reflect on what is happening and piece together how I am ticking and why” because shortly before that you had described how your “drive related to work” kept you busy in a “hyperactive state”. This was perhaps a temporary distraction from contemplating and reflecting on what is happening. And not just contemplation and reflection on “how I am ticking” but allowing a fascinated attention and reflection and contemplation all the way to apperception, when ‘I’ cease thinking and thinking takes place of its own accord … and ‘me’ disappears along with all the feelings. A ripening and blooming of pure intent which will carry you through to your final destination? Pure intent will tell you what is required but you need to be quiet enough to ‘hear’ it. And in that period before the final step doing nothing can sometimes be hard to bear. ‘I’ am soo used to being busy! But the fact that even “self-flagellating” no longer works seems to indicate that now you need to allow the stillness of the infinitude of the universe to do its bit while keeping the gates to pure intent wide open. It’s a wonderful report, Claudiu Cheers Vineeto
CLAUDIU: And it is so distinct from me wanting the other people to be in a good mood. It isn’t like I was trying to convince them to be, or if someone is down trying to cheer them up. This brings an expectation ‘I’ have for ‘them’ to feel a certain way, and if they don’t it affects & upsets me to a degree. This was, I was not even trying to do anything, it just unfolded this way. In hindsight I would solidly label this as an intimacy experience, quite wondrous! VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, It does remind me of ‘Vineeto’s’ description in ‘her’ period of being out-from-under-control –
That’s the very quality of effortlessly not being ‘self’-centred – it is delicious. CLAUDIU: It just also goes to show how much even more effective such unplanned interactions would be, with actual Claudiu being the one that is conscious, sans any feeling-being whatsoever. The other wondrous recent insight was in seeing how I am actually not ‘special’ in that I am essentially the same as any other feeling-being out there. In terms of what I am at my core. In other words I don’t have to maintain or hold onto or try to prop up any aspect of myself that would set me apart or above anyone else – because I am the same at core! This is something I can’t change – I can only self-immolate to remedy this situation. This was seen as an immense relief of a huge burden that I no longer have to maintain myself in all these various small ways. In other words I am free to do anything, and anyone is free to say or think or do whatever in response, and none of it matters in terms of me having to prop myself up or defend myself or do anything. Cause I already know I’m not special, there is nothing I can actually defend to change this fact! Similar to Kuba also I’m seeing I really do have to take this next step. Even further insights
or realizations are no longer sufficient. It’s not about this anymore. It’s about actually taking the last step,
for this fundamental change, that is the very best I can do for every body, including this body! VINEETO: Ha, it gets better every day. This report is wonderful to read. Most of the stress people generally create for themselves (instinctually and unconsciously) is to hide and/or counteract that they are “essentially the same as any other feeling-being”. And what an “immense relief of a huge burden” it is indeed to know for a fact that “I’m not special”. I am joyous awaiting your “last step” – ain’t life grand! Three cheers
CLAUDIU: I was essentially seeing that the reason I felt I had to prove ‘my’ value was to maintain ‘myself’. And I was looking at whether I really have to do that – I mean I knew I didn’t since the goal was to self-immolate, but there was a lot of fear underlying the acceptance of this. Went for a walk with the dog and was reflecting more on it. Essentially I came to see that what I was wanting to do was to preserve ‘myself’ yet without all these ‘bad parts’ like fear, anxiety, needing to prove ‘myself’, etc. I already knew of course that it is impossible – because ‘I’ am those ‘bad parts’, it’s not that ‘I’ am something that can be pure and that just has ‘bad parts’ that can be removed. And I felt this was really unfair! Why can’t I preserve myself? The way I saw it then was really very simple: whether it is fair or unfair, it is the fact of the universe. This is ‘my’ nature – maybe in a cosmic sense it didn’t “have” to be this way, but for a human on this planet, that is how it is. So I can either self-immolate to actually solve the problem of the human condition, or I can remain and continue being the problem and being these bad parts. There is just no way around it. It is a fact just as much as it’s a fact that this body will die one day. Seeing that it is a fact totally resolved the unfairness feeling – and then I felt relief! I saw it was a relief, because I knew the choice I am making is to do what is of actual benefit to the human species (and it’s wondrous I can do this and contribute to this!) – and so I don’t have to maintain ‘myself’ any longer. This I felt as a wonderful relief. Further along in the walk I was still feeling fear and anxiety came up, and then a most wondrous realization struck, that: I don’t have to be afraid anymore either! Fear is how ‘I’ manifest in order to protect this body. Yet I am not needed to protect this body anymore. This is yet another burden I can lay down! This relief was felt to be tremendous and I couldn’t even process it all at once. So I kept reflecting and contemplating it and the ramifications of the relief I am still processing. I don’t have to feel fear or be afraid anymore! What a tremendous relief. This fear which I have felt/been my entire life, and caused such problems and discomfort, and has not been fun at all – I can leave it behind just like anything else! On many an occasion I experienced myself to be so so very close to the actual world. Like I just have to take a tiny ‘step’ and then I’d be right there! The richness and sweetness, just on the other ‘side’ of… something. I even tried taking a physical step but it didn’t work haha. But moving my hand in front of and behind my head, I was trying to see where does actuality start/ end and where ‘I’ begin/ end… and the border is not clear at all. Walking outside I experienced the stillness, how still actuality really is, and walking along one part of track I experienced myself as somehow a still/ fixed/ unmoving point whilst the body was ambling along – it seemed a bit odd, […] However it didn’t culminate in self-immolation. I do appear to be on the right track though! Another funny image that I delighted in, as it was original, is how I was thinking of various
conversations and ‘positions’ and ‘worldviews’ I am holding, and I thought how it’s delightful in that I don’t
even have to leave a “calling card” as a placeholder for ‘me’ for when I leave (such as for people to be
able to find ‘me’ again and resume it), I can just disappear entirely haha VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, What a wondrous sequence of events, culminating in the realisation that ‘you’ “don’t have to be afraid anymore” and are no longer needed “in order to protect this body”. And why? Because you resolved the principle of fairness and unfairness by making the deliberate and deeply considered choice “to do what is of actual benefit to the human species”. It is fascinating to follow this process, it might apply to others, or not – but at the core of it is your choice “to do what is of actual benefit to the human species” – altruism. This fear of having the responsibility to protect the body is something which, as you say, you “felt/been” your “entire life” and it magically disappeared in one instance after you made the altruistic choice. I am reminded of your second visit when the fear was so dominant that you lost your voice for three days and had to type the words on your computer when you wanted to communicate. It also reminds me that when ‘Vineeto’ finally went out from under control, Richard said to ‘her’ ‘she’ was now on the other side of the wall of fear. That was indeed the case, ‘she’ had no more fear, nor any ‘self’-centredness. It is utterly fascinating to follow every single step on your journey of the last days of an ever-diminishing identity, which will soon be no more, without any trace or ashes to rise from. I much appreciate what you are doing, and meticulously reporting as well. Cheers Vineeto
VINEETO: I haven’t watched current affairs in the last 7 months but before that Richard and myself were regularly keeping abreast of most of what was going on in the US and the world at large. In summary, the actions of the previous government had, by statist intervention, doubled the fuel and electricity prices, tripled the food prices, restricted gas-stoves and cars to be replaced with electric vehicles, and instituted a myriad other public-servant-inspired restrictions on affordable living with so-called climate-change regulations based on the world-wide global warming scare. Additionally the privacy of girls’ toilets and locker-rooms were violated by legal decrees for confused males to use them, by instituting edicts that interfered in parents’ rights to choose schools and gender for their children. They also inflicted a world-wide plague on Western and other countries together with insulating/isolating the whole population plus an obligatory, inefficient, even dangerous, genetic experimental drug (deceitfully called ‘vaccine’). On top of it they engineered an invasion of millions of “aliens” into the US resulting in more poverty and crime for large afflicted regions. All these events quite transparently benefited the already obscenely rich and brought more misery to the middle-class and poorer population. Even though the majority of the media is owned and controlled by the very same obscenely rich,
their scare-tactic of “potential nazi affiliations/ sympathies” seems no longer be effective – it
has been used too long without tangible evidence. CLAUDIU: It’s remarkable how you lay out everything what happened here. To give you a brief update, since starting his second term, the US president has issued a spate of executive orders that directly address essentially everything you mentioned here. As much of the interventions in the USA were at the level of the federal executive branch, much can be undone at that same level. The orders he issued so far include actions to:
On top of everything you already mentioned, the sinistral statist ideologies of the world
conspired to censor the free speech of their complaining peasants. The founder of Facebook revealed that the
administration at the time requested they remove not only misinformation but also factually accurate information In other words, it appears that the “generally obliging and subservient peasant population” indeed had enough, voted a person into power to undo the dire situation that had been wrought upon them in recent years, and that person is now actually executing on that which he promised. The fact that the extent to which these actions are fulfilments of campaign promises made is surprising speaks volumes about the current political system we find ourselves in. The above all happened within the first 24-48 hours of the new administration… and yet the mass
media has chosen to focus inordinate amounts of attention on the heartfelt emotional gesture Indeed, by this point it is so absurd and so many people have woken up to these tactics, that it does seem to “no longer be effective” – albeit I was stunned at how many people it did still manage to have an effect on. Although these recent events are remarkably refreshing, and indicates a dangerous trend towards
censorship and totalitarianism is finally being reversed (including the reversal of the patterned-after-Marx division
and discord sown along racial lines, evidenced by a total extirpation of so-called Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion initiatives Increasingly totalitarian and anti-human elements have crept in over the past decades, and it was
only through remarkably strength of will and often an access to vast quantities of money that these leaders were able
to be elected such as to actually enact the will of the increasingly-growing majority of the people in these regards.
And there are many and various counter-indicators today such as various first-world countries punishing
speech more harshly than violent crimes, and the democratic elections in Romania literally being cancelled, suspended VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Thank you for your excellent update with so many informative links. It’s great to have a historical snapshot of this fascinating time in history where the pendulum of a certain cultural-political orientation swings into its opposite direction, only to eventually become so extreme that it again (perhaps) evokes correction. The human condition is such that there are always only two alternatives, never genuine equity and parity, or salubrious sensibleness, without being sullied by ‘self’-centricity. CLAUDIU: In other words, even if the world does trend to a positive direction now… there’s no telling if it will succeed, or how long it will last. Prosperity tends to breed complacency, at which point the more devious elements creep in again. VINEETO: Those “devious elements”, which are in all human beings as a result of the instinctual passions – rather ‘erupt’ than “creep in” (lol), and as such are present on both sides of the political divide. The evolution of the human condition itself can only happen via a virtual freedom, and dissolution via an actual freedom. CLAUDIU: The best possible thing I can do remains. It is not to espouse a particular political
ideology or attempt to convert the massive hordes of people viciously railing against the above actions and falsely
smearing their proponents with all manner of calumnies. Rather, it is to self-immolate, to sacrifice myself for the
benefit of the human species in general and of the people in my life I am most intimate with in particular (which will
be of immense benefit for this body as well), such as to do the very best I can to bring about an actual, lasting and
perennial peace on earth, in my lifetime. It is actually possible, and I can take this next step to enable it to occur
at the maximum potential I possibly can! VINEETO: Well said. Today I remembered something you had reported in your last post –
I was wondering if you are entirely comfortable yet that an actual freedom is irrevocable. I am asking because on January 4 2010, in a casual conversation, Richard asked ‘Vineeto’ if it was perhaps the irrevocability of an actual freedom which caused ‘her’ to hesitate. ‘Her’ first impulse was to answer “of course not” but then ‘she’ decided to mull it over carefully so that ‘she’ could be 100% sure. The next evening ‘she’ became actually free. Cheers Vineeto
VINEETO: I was wondering if you are entirely comfortable yet that an actual freedom is irrevocable. I am asking because on January 4 2010, in a casual conversation, Richard asked ‘Vineeto’ if it
was perhaps the irrevocability of an actual freedom which caused ‘her’ to hesitate. ‘Her’ first impulse was to
answer “of course not” but then ‘she’ decided to mull it over carefully so that ‘she’ could be 100%
sure. The next evening ‘she’ became actually free. CLAUDIU: This has been excellent to contemplate! Indeed my initial reaction was the same as yours, like “I actually want it to be irrevocable”, but as I contemplated it I saw that this was not fully the case. It really feels like there’s a lot going on, and even being unmoored at times. It’s hard to sum it up or organize it into a coherent post. But it’s along the lines of… I realized that I do not have a choice – if I want to self-immolate then I will have to address this issue, the irrevocability – along with any other issue. This was remarkable at orienting me towards actually moving forward and making progress with the objection. Just the act of contemplating the irrevocability caused actuality to hove into nearly tangible view, almost like I can touch it. The world becomes still again and I am moving through this still, wondrous universe – albeit not a PCE as ‘I’ distinctly felt ‘myself’ still present. VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Thank you for your detailed response on this crucial issue. This point is important – the fact that you were not in a PCE meant that your experience was not static but dynamic. ‘You’ could keep contemplating ‘your’ objection to irrevocably disappear “in this still, wondrous universe”. CLAUDIU: Nevertheless it was along the lines of – irrevocable would mean it is this, forever – it was eminently obvious that this was sensible and what I wanted! VINEETO: You have made this decision before on the basis that it is the “sensible” thing to do, i.e. you considered it rationally, and yet it has not happened. Something else is required. Being sensible is not all of you. As ‘you’ are your feelings and your feelings are ‘you’ – it appears that your feelings, or some of your feelings are objecting. Thinking sensibly will not give you the “enormous energy” required to make an altruistic sacrifice.
You can make use of the feeling which is presently happening – fear of making a definite, irrevocable, irreversible choice, the fear of ultimate commitment, the fear of not having control of what is going to happen next. The vital ingredient to look closely at the fear itself is to stay with the thrill –
CLAUDIU: There is certainly a push and pull of attraction and aversion here, which I think is
what you would call being “fatally attracted” (although “Fatal Attraction
Syndrome” appears to be different as that would entail things like “incessant fighting
against the benefits of an actual freedom” VINEETO: Ha, being “fatally attracted” only means you can’t leave it alone, and some people have/had so many objections that they never followed their attraction and only acted on their passionate aversion fuelled by the attraction. CLAUDIU: The seeing I have no choice but to proceed helped overcome the aversion into looking into the irrevocability more. And then the attraction/ aversion sort of flipped and I instead became feeling averse to not self-immolating, to going ‘back’ to ‘humanity’ and failing ‘for good’. I experience this as sort of a fear or anxiety about moving forward, that flipped into a fear or anxiety about moving back. VINEETO: Ok, but what can flip once, can flip again. What remained is the feeling of “fear or anxiety”. You reported three days ago –
VINEETO: What happened? Obviously not all of your fear had disappeared, or only temporarily. The burden you laid down three days ago has re-appeared. Now, you seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place – afraid to leave the real world behind irrevocably and afraid to continue living in the real world permanently. You can’t have both, that fact is clear. CLAUDIU: Somewhere around here I figured I have been taking this too ‘seriously’. I don’t have to become free – this is not moral imperative. There’s no need to be ‘serious’ about it in that sense. This loosens the pressure quite a bit – but it is sensible to become free, it is what I actually want, and in that sense there is no choice, there is a ‘must’ to it, but this ‘must’ comes from the scintillating purity that hoves into view, which I experienced at times today like ‘fingers’ of purity beckoning me towards actuality. So maybe I take it too seriously rather than fun/naively. Again I realized I don’t actually have to worry about anything, literally anything at all… but, rather than the immediate response to do this being a carefreeness or even a relief, it was, intriguingly, an anxiety! A feeling unmoored about it. Because I also saw that to not worry means I don’t have to feel or put energy into any of ‘my’ plans or the future… which had it sink in that all of ‘my’ hopes and dreams and plans, will disappear along with ‘me’! I have to give them all up, in other words. It didn’t quite strike me like this before, and this is what led to the unmoored feeling, I believe. However I seem to be getting accustomed to this new state of affairs as I’m feeling much better about it all now, and at this very moment generally rather filled with delight. Along the way I also recognized that part of the impediments is that I am feeling like becoming free ‘must’ go along a certain path, or look like this or that, but really I don’t know what it will look like or what that experience of self-immolating will be like or how it will unfold for me – I only can know how it’s unfolding now – so again it’s a matter of not really worrying about it or trying to ‘fit’ experience in any way. VINEETO: It appears that your going out from control was not a total giving up of the controls. You retained the control of the last emergency break, just before the crucial final decision. It is not the experience which needs ‘fitting’ “in any way”, but your intent which needs to be reignited in order to initiate the final event.
CLAUDIU: The sensible mooring-point would be pure intent, this is something that ought to be stable, perennial, etc., and fit all the qualities of that which I can orient myself towards, as a guiding star or light, if ever I feel lost. So that’s basically where I’m at now. I am tending to hove towards a default somewhat anxious state, which seems like a bad sign. But there does seem to be a lot going on. Yet actuality is always rather close-by, near at hand – and contemplating everything appears to be fruitful. But I also get the sense I am overcomplicating things haha. Am open to any advice you may have given all the above, having fun does seem to be where it is at! VINEETO: I give you a reminder to re-access pure intent, which always is out of reach when anxiety takes centre stage (with its “mooring point” within the human condition) –
Do you/did you really consider “failing ‘for good’” because of a mere feeling? You can’t be serious! Cheers Vineeto
CLAUDIU: So it does feel like taking a risk and in a sense it is, as indeed I won’t really know until it happens. And that’s where the thrilling aspect comes into play, which you talk about later. But the confidence in the actual world borne of the PCE does allow me to proceed. VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Thank you for your replies. It is a continuous probing until it happens and that can be the fun of the mystery solving. And I agree with what you wrote above. * VINEETO: What happened? Obviously not all of your fear had disappeared, or only temporarily. CLAUDIU: Yes I was wondering about this also. Fear can’t really disappear until self-immolation can it? You wrote that:
Even so ‘Vineeto’ experienced an “out-of-control panic mode” which
happened “during the out-from-control virtual freedom” In any case, indeed all of fear and anxiety borne of fear has not disappeared – during what I reported there I felt relief at realizing I don’t have to feel that way anymore but it did not all disappear. A realization & partial actualization but not a full actualization. VINEETO: Yes, the potential for fear remains in place as long as one is a feeling ‘being’. CLAUDIU: Well it’s more that what ‘I’ have been doing the past few days does not seem to be fruitful, ‘I’ am trying like all get-out anything ‘I’ can think of and yet no success yet. So will ‘I’ ever succeed? I don’t see why ‘I’ wouldn’t but it won’t happen until it happens. As I’m writing this now however I am seeing this is a rather silly concern.
Isn’t this always the case, until it happens at last? If there was no objection left then it would happen already, wouldn’t it? VINEETO: Yes. CLAUDIU: I do wonder if the issue is that ‘I’ have attempted to stop ‘my’ life in order to do all ‘I’ can to self-immolate, rather than allow my life to live itself meanwhile doing all ‘I’ can to self-immolate. In that I’ve shirked my duties at work (I have some considerable flexibility with this regard currently), ordered a lot of take-out food rather than go to the grocery store and prepare my meals, in general not done anything besides sit around and/or walk around contemplating self-immolation. (It should be noted that I’ve gone through periods before of doing the same shirking-work and eating take-out-food so it’s not like it is a ‘new’ phenomenon.) […] To tie it back to what you wrote, it would be allowing pure intent to live my life, which would then
set the stage to have that spark be set off. It sounds like a lot more fun than what I have been doing the past few
days anyway. VINEETO: I was making various suggestions where you can perhaps look for possibly hidden
objections, which might stifle such a spark as I described to Kuba. For now I am fresh out of ideas. Cheers Vineeto
Vineeto to Kuba: What you seem to be missing is gay abandon. [...] I re-read this quote just now and it could give you pause of planning to dart back and forth from the door of ‘self’-immolation too readily –
CLAUDIU: That’s a great quote. I’ve often wondered lately, is it really just throwing caution to the wind and forging forth? Not sure if I thought of it in those exact words (maybe) but along those lines. Sounds like the answer is (as pure intent is certainly in place) yes indeed. It gives good confidence to proceed! To put it into words it’s about leaving the felt safety for what is outside of
the felt safety, which I apperceptively or near-apperceptively know is the actual safety of infinitude
– which ought really to be an obvious choice. Perhaps, after much pondering and contemplating, it is indeed just gay
abandon that is required. VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, “Good confidence” is certainly a great starting point for “gay abandon”, and you can cover the distance between the two via abundant naiveté, by being naiveté itself –
Being naiveté, “becoming the manifestation of this innocence here on earth” is
exactly what you apperceived when you recently reread Richard’s quote of “standing naked before
infinitude”
You can be that! What an extraordinary adventure! Cheers Vineeto
VINEETO to Henry: Personally, I still keep my own counsel as to what name
they go by or how they are organized. It’s enough to know that a large group of people secretly but quite obviously
have nefarious and Malthusian aims, plans and plenty of means, ways and power to be quite successful at present. As an
uninformed and gullible citizen ‘I’ used to wonder why there were so many wars when apparently none of the ordinary
people really wanted to go to war. It took a long time to find out why. CLAUDIU: Although there may be a few large key players that actually set the agenda, I am not sure if there’s really an actual shadowy cabal of people working in concert to do this. I could see it being a psychic chimera that exists only in the human psyche which swirls and sworls and now has a life of its own. Some may call it a demon — of course it would not be any corporal demon but as a psychic phenomenon one could call it that. In more prosaic terms, the apparent collective thrust in one anti-human political direction may very well be an emergent phenomenon, fuelled by instinctual passions, rather than one orchestrated by a small elite. This is only supposition on my part but the latter is a more plausible explanation to me currently. VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, It seems pointless to work out which opinion is more in line with facts as there are very few confirmed
facts available, given the ‘cabal’s’ secret nature. The effects and extent of their actions demonstrably cover a
wide range, such as dominant influence in international governments, and government departments such as military,
federal police, national security, education and judiciary, as well as banking, certain influential industries and main
media, to name but a few. The World Economic Forum itself appears to have similarly stated dictatorial aims (“you
vill own nothing and vill be happy!”). With the extent of misinformation, disinformation, and scare-tactics it is hard to find out what is factually going on. If it is a “small elite” or a large affiliation does not really matter – even a small ‘virus’, via ‘gain of function’, can spread worldwide, and given the passionate nature of the psychic “swirls and sworls”, it is easy to make frequent and effective use of the instinctual passions as a strategy to pit one group of peasants against another to divert attention from the puppet masters. In the final analysis, those vitally interested to be actually free from the human condition only need to be informed and investigative enough to discover and discard their own loyalty and belonging, their attitudes, affiliations, values, principles and finally the tendency and capacity to believing itself, in other words, be able to free themselves of the trappings of their own peasant mentality and social identity. With sincerity and naiveté this can be a fun activity, when one discovers one’s dignity and autonomy, as one bond of belonging and loyalty to one group or another dissolves in the thrilling revelation that they are not only unnecessary but in fact detrimental to ongoing felicity and genuine caring. CLAUDIU: In any case, as DOGE and the executive grant has just cut off their funding at the root,
expect a massive backlash and reaction from the tens and perhaps hundreds of thousands of people whose livelihoods are
now at stake. They have nothing to lose and will certainly fight back! VINEETO: Thank you for your detailed and very informative report. It is fascinating to read about the extensive current action of “DOGE” to restrict the massive wasteful spending of funds that can be so much more beneficially applied elsewhere. Cheers Vineeto
VINEETO (to Henry): Yes, ‘star-dust’ reminds me more of birthday party glitter than how I would
describe my experience of being here in this actual world. CLAUDIU: I quite like the star-dust imagery. We are all literally made up of matter, the same matter that constitutes the planets and the stars themselves. The Earth is understood to have formed from the very same matter that formed the Sun itself — gaseous swirls of matter (as seen in nebulae) condensing into varying forms of stars, small planets, gas giants, etc. As such we are all literally made of star-dust, the very essence that constitutes our sun is also what constitutes our flesh and blood bodies and all that we imbibe to sustain life! Perhaps this fuller explication helps to convey the appreciation I have for the term and its expressive potency!
VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, I have been pondering your “we are all literally made of star-dust” and was wondering why it doesn’t quite describe how I experience myself. Today I found the quote I had in mind and it helped me put my thoughts on this phrase in order –
As such, physically I am ‘grown’ by the earth, and apperceptively I am “the
perfection of the stillness of infinitude personified as a sensate and reflective human being” Whereas I cannot honestly say that I am “star-dust” (as in “gaseous swirls of matter (as seen in nebulae) condensing into varying forms of stars, small planets, gas giants, etc”). In other words, I am the universe experiencing itself as a human being, I am not the universe per se, as in “gaseous swirls of matter”. Whereas I have seen documentaries and read Richard’s description which has thrown considerable light upon questions as to the possible origin of life inside this very planet we are living on, and as such justify the expression that physically the earth ‘grows’ me.
Hence the expression that the planet grows human beings neither requires conjecture nor searching for the origin of flora, fauna and human beings in outer space. Cheers Vineeto
VINEETO: I have been pondering your “we are all literally made of star-dust” and was wondering why it doesn’t quite describe how I experience myself. Today I found the quote I had in mind and it helped me put my thoughts on this phrase in order –
As such, physically I am ‘grown’ by the earth, and apperceptively I am “the
perfection of the stillness of infinitude personified as a sensate and reflective human being” Whereas I cannot honestly say that I am “star-dust” (as in “gaseous swirls of matter (as seen in nebulae) condensing into varying forms of stars, small planets, gas giants, etc”). In other words, I am the universe experiencing itself as a human being, I am not the universe per se, as in “gaseous swirls of matter”. CLAUDIU: Mmm that makes sense. Where I drew my perception from is
when Richard wrote that, for example, “the very stuff of a flesh and blood
body, being the same-same stuff as the stuff of the universe, is as old as the universe (which is eternal).” And as both humans and stars are the “stuff of the universe” then I am in that sense made of the “same-same stuff” as the stars are, which is namely “the stuff of the universe”. VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Thank you for your detailed explanation. As you know it’s not easy to separate scientific fact from interwoven beliefs which so often influence the conclusions of their scientific findings. Nevertheless, it is encouraging that some have indeed discovered that “We are made of star-stuff”. I guess you are aware that when you said “I drew my perception” you have been applying logical deduction to Richard’s “directly (apperceptive) experiencing of its own perpetuity”, which can on occasion go side-ways when you move from the general to the specific. First there is the statement “both humans and stars are the “stuff of the universe”, “then I am in that sense made “of the “same-same stuff” as the stars are” … and then (logically) I am of the “same-same stuff” as star-dust. Even though the logic is correct it does not describe how I experience myself. I am “being the same-same stuff as the stuff of the universe” in that I am grown by the earth –
Richard is reporting (using your quotes) his apperceptive experience to emphasize that “one is that eternal stuff” –
It’s only a minor point but I thought it useful to highlight the difference between rational/logical thinking and direct apperceptive experiencing. CLAUDIU: I found this collection of quotes that conveys the picture as well, with some particularly interesting bits that I emphasized!
They all convey this same basic idea, that the matter that constitutes the stars is the same stuff as the matter that constitutes the planets and our bodies, namely it is all the “stuff of the universe”. VINEETO: It seems very similar and yet they all fall short (because of the innate identity) to recognize that, because the universe is actually infinite (not merely “immeasurable”) and eternal, they could experience infinitude directly as the flesh-and-blood body. I found an interesting quote how Richard operates, which everyone, who still has the faculty to believe intact, can apply –
For instance in this situation –
No wonder he was so popular. CLAUDIU: I think in a general sense this is what Richard is conveying with saying “the very stuff of a flesh and blood body” is “the same-same stuff as the stuff of the universe” (of course without any spirituality in it like Watson added!) VINEETO: Yes, this is good news as it makes it easier to communicate about actualism (the experience that matter is not passive) when there is the beginning of common ground. CLAUDIU: That being said I see your point that whether our bodies are literally directly formed from the same stuff that actually formed the Sun, requires theorizing and hypothesizing – it’s actually a different statement than just saying it’s all matter (and the same elements at the base of it, the iron in a star is the same as the iron on Earth). To that end I find it far more delightful to say that “the planet grows human
beings” and in a much more meaningful sense we are made of the same stuff the planet is, as it grows us! VINEETO: I am delighted you can see the difference, Claudiu. I enjoy the discussion, it’s fun to tease out the distinctions. Cheers Vineeto
CLAUDIU: As to whether I am out-from-control or not, I do wonder about it at times, it does seem Kuba & I are experiencing the same thing, but it also seems different than how ‘Vineeto’ experienced it. That being said I’m fairly frequently reminded as to how different ‘I’ am now than before. Example I saw a show where someone was having a bad day, and they were like “oh it’s one of those days…” And I just realized I haven’t had a ‘bad day’ since I went out-from-control! I’ve had very intense days, yes, but nothing that happens actually has a long-lasting impact where I go into feeling of despair or circling around in resentment. It is really remarkable. And actuality is always so close at hand, even if ‘I’ am anxiously ruminating about an issue, it can always rapidly turn into a near-pure experience if not a PCE outright. So I always end up concluding that it is properly out-from-control haha. That being said it is a bit strange as I would think being out-from-control is always about being naiveté personified, but I don’t feel that way all the time. Perhaps Vineeto can shed some light here. VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Btw, naiveté is not necessarily something you feel but rather a “range of
naïveness from being sincere to becoming naïve and all the way through being naïveté itself” as laid out
in “A Quaint Clay-Pit Tale” ‘Vineeto’ wrote that “the way I discovered naiveté was to actively rid myself of
cynicism, and the first step was to become aware of the fact that I had cynical thoughts and feelings – i.e. to
experience how cynical I was and to recognize the maliciousness of cynicism. The next step was to stop feeling cynical
because a cynic is someone who despises being here.” Then ‘she’ noticed that ‘she’ had trouble even detecting cynicism and sarcasm in ‘her’ correspondents. Putting aside ‘her’ pride was a big help as well, whilst ‘being naiveté’ required to give up ‘her’ fears which was the more difficult task to accomplish, hence the delay. I am glad you brought up this issue which I have been pondering for a while. It seems to me that just like with the term of ‘virtual freedom’
I say ‘perhaps’ because only the persons themselves can accurately determine what is going on
for them and neither I nor anybody else has the role of a probity policeman. Only they can determine if their
experience of being-out-from-control, which has been a clear stepping-up in their actualism process (“being
able to let go of the controls”
CLAUDIU: Regardless of what it’s called, being more naive, as naive as I can be, does look like a very sensible step and something I can certainly do. It’s about giving up myself, those parts of me that want to still be serious, so that I can naively flourish instead, knowing it will lead to my ultimate demise. What really makes this eminently sensible (and thus palatable) is knowing with confidence that anything that is actually important (as in needs doing), apperceptive consciousness can readily handle, indeed with far more care than I could muster. This was exemplified in a piquant manner the other day during a period of particular proximity to actuality, when I had finished curbing after my dog. With the dog’s waste product in the proper poop-bag receptacle, I then twisted the top of the bag, and wound it around to make a knot… and then when I pulled the bag through the knot-hole I thought to make the end flourish outward like as if of a flower blooming. This was an effortless thought and physical gesture, that was done solely because of the sheer fun of doing it – and it was no burden to do it whatsoever! Normally when ‘I’ do things it’s a burden to ‘care’, because ‘I’ feel like ‘I’ care and ‘I’ have to put effort into execute this ‘caring’ action… but when nearly apperceptive there is essentially no burden at all, and of course when actually apperceptive there is actually no burden whatsoever. In general there is no more thoughts or wondering ‘how’ to self-immolate, and there is
continuing to be (and has not been for a while) any feeling of being ‘stuck’. What is running as a constant now is
the “Do not hesitate!” anymore, and taking every opportunity that serendipitously presents itself to go forth
into actuality/ allow ‘myself’ to diminish to allow apperception to occur. Going about it all in as naive manner as
possible ought only to increase the potency of this! VINEETO: This is excellent news. My pondering was mainly that Richard’s description of “being naiveté, the closest a ‘self’ can get to actual innocence” has so far not much featured in yours and Kuba’s ongoing reports but is now beginning to become apparent. Whether this first period should perhaps be labelled as a “pragmatic out-from-control period” or is presently automatically morphing into a “being-naïveté-out-from-control” way of being rather than being an extra deliberate stepping-up is going to be observed/ determined by the present practicing actualists. Cheers Vineeto PS: History: Richard’s own experiences of a ‘Dynamic Destinal Virtual Freedom ‘Vineeto’s’ period of Out-from-Control Geoffrey said “the only time where ‘I’ might have been said to
be in an out-from-control virtual freedom was that one week before ‘my’ self-immolation: the first week on
September 2018”
CLAUDIU: For me it is along the lines of … there’s really no ‘case’ to be made anymore. It is obviously silly to feel bad and sensible to feel good. It just does not make any sense to live this life and feel bad, why? Like there is really no reason lol. And yet I do still find myself treading well-worn paths, the tried & failed, so, there is something more to it. But, it’s not clear exactly what … it did sink in somewhat deeply recently that ‘I’ will have to abandon everything I hold dear, all that I value, all my work, my relationships, my understanding of the world … everything will go, everything must go. But yet holding onto all of these things is precisely what the source of resentment is, of ‘having to’ hold onto and thus it being a burden too. So it’s like there’s something I value and don’t want to let go of, yet these things I value are at the same time a burden. I suppose once I know exactly what it is then that may very well be it for ‘me’
haha. Perhaps more a matter of gently continuing to probe this rather than getting worked up about it. It is a puzzling
state of affairs though … VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, I suppose you know the solution to your puzzle already and Kuba
You are perfectly right – “there’s really no ‘case’ to be made anymore”. The only time when you are possibly able to make a case is when naiveté stops operating, and pure intent is thus side-lined – then it becomes again “a puzzling state of affairs”. Cheers Vineeto
CLAUDIU: Woww writing on this forum does do magic sometimes. I uncovered a huge one for me – a belief that this actualizing of and living of an actually perfect life is just “not for me”. As soon as the contemplation yielded this thought it is like it knocked something loose, and the excitement and naivete and joy resumed. And then I was able to think it through in words to explain: it was a belief that it’s not something that is ‘meant’ for me, not my destiny – it will be what is meant for some other lucky people but not for me. All I can do is sombrely suffer whilst others get to have this reward. And I saw how it is utterly silly because everyone feels this way. So I feel it’s for some other people … those other people will feel it’s for someone else… maybe someone far more wealthy or something … then that wealthy person will be weary of having to manage all their resources and think it’s for simpler and carefree people that are not as well off … meanwhile for them they will think it’s for someone without the resources issues they have… lol, something like this. But this is really silly because we can all just partake in this together! I’m
very happy now to lead the way and set the example for this someone has to go next after all… VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Didn’t Kuba name his objection “too good to be true” You say “someone has to go next after all” which to me looks a rather lack-lustre way of a lamb being led to the slaughter, resigned to its fate … but do tell me if I am on the wrong track. I base the word ‘lack-lustre’ on the comparison to Richard’s own experience –
You see, in whatever form the instinctual passion is happening, be they desire, nurture (compassion/passionate caring) or fear, you need to fully feel and embraced your ‘being’ and fully experienced it as what ‘you’ are in order to be harnessed and channelled for your goal, else any attempt to ‘self’-immolate will be still-born or evade side-ways. CLAUDIU: Then I look at that which I am bucking and it’s all
ultimately dissatisfying. What I am leaving behind, I am leaving behind because it hasn’t worked! And not only for
me, it doesn’t work for anyone ultimately, actually … so something new is warranted! VINEETO: Again, ‘I’ will not agree to become extinct because it’s a sensible idea or because the alternative is “ultimately dissatisfying”. ‘I’ need to be fully and passionately on board and for that ‘I’, the passionate ‘me’ as well as the sensible ‘me’ need to take part in the final decision as a passionately felt decision. Now in case the unrecognised energy underneath those easily dismissible objections perhaps turns out to be “disquietude, uneasiness, nervousness or apprehension” or something even more disconcerting then this is the very affective power to harness for your “one goal and one goal only” –
I have no intention to talk you into one deep uncomfortable feeling or another – these are only pointers what to do if you discover a feeling as the source of your hesitation, prevarication, teetering on the edge, preventing you from doing what you promised yourself to do for so long. Because whenever such a feeling is operating in the shadows, naiveté and pure intent are obscured, and your thinking may be rational but lacks the clear seeing of apperceptive awareness to help you out of your conundrum. You remember how Geoffrey solved ‘his’ problem –
Cheers Vineeto
CLAUDIU: Hi Vineeto, I appreciate your reply & pointers.
CLAUDIU: Well this particular one was more that I had the insight into seeing that this was an objection, at which point it was an objection no longer – so it isn’t so much I thought about it and labelled it silly, but rather was surprised to uncover it had been operating, if it makes sense. I consider this one a ‘win’… VINEETO: Hi Claudiu, Thank you for your receptive, considered and precise feedback, it is much appreciated.
CLAUDIU: At the time I experienced it more like a naive exuberance, like, of course I will go
next! And yet 4 hours later So you are right that there is indeed “something yet unexposed underneath”. That latter post of “that which I am bucking” being “ultimately dissatisfying”, indeed was more of a thought-out ratiocination rather than a naively insightful ending-of-the-objection. VINEETO: I had read several of the follow-up conversations you had with Kuba and it was more the whole tenor of those that I based my comment on.
CLAUDIU: You are onto something here that it is a feeling currently underlying it. I take the advice well to sit with it and see what I find out! VINEETO: Good.
CLAUDIU: Do you mean he solved it by naively finding it just very hilarious? A sense of humour and sincere carefreeness rather than a ‘serious’ approach? VINEETO: It is not an either-or suggestion at all – only you can know which one ‘clicks’
for you, which passion is lurking in the background or, if there aren’t any, if one clear moment of apperceptive
seeing the whole, ultimately ridiculous though seriously passionate, “entire game of being an identity”
as Kuba put it CLAUDIU: I can rationally understand the contrast and I even know it experientially (the
PCE-while-driving vs. the real-world), but the solution that occurred for Geoffrey upon seeing what he did has not
occurred for me yet. VINEETO: I understand that. Even “a sense of humour and sincere carefreeness” require ‘your’ unconditional permission to penetrate and unravel the most precious core of your ‘being’ – and you only know that it is unconditional when it’s too late. Hence ‘Vineeto’s’ last hour was where
It could only happen this way after ‘she’ gathered “any scattered bits of intent that were missing to make up the 100% I needed – I pulled out all the stops.” Quite obviously, Geoffrey equally had neither emotional nor mental barriers in place anymore when this apperceptive insight occurred – he was ready to let it end ‘him’ in ‘his’ totality. Cheers Vineeto
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