January 8 2025

KUBA: Now it is a long journey back to the UK, 3 planes and about 25 hours of flying in total, plenty of time for ‘me’ to experience this complete dread at what is apparently going to happen any second. Before setting my foot on the plane I had already set the intention to do the below no matter what :

[Richard]: A deep feeling of dread, the abject intuition of impending doom, is fraught with foreboding, be it a grim, dire, or awful presage, and this intensely apprehensive trepidation is symptomatic of the existential angst (the anguish of the essential insecurity of being a contingent ‘being’) which underpins all suffering.

As such an occasion of profound dread is an opportune moment to plumb the depths of ‘being’ itself (‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being) rather than avoidance through realisation of the portentous event as all manner of phantasmagoria can be manifested by such evasion.

With pure intent one can enable a movement into the existential angst, rather than despairingly grasping at doomsday straws, which movement facilitates the bright light of awareness being shone into the innermost recesses of ‘my’ presence ... which is ‘presence’ itself.

Such an active perspicacity in ‘my’ moment of reckoning will reveal that ‘presence’ itself feeds off ‘my’ fear – it is its very life- blood as it were – and this functional acuity brings an abrupt end to its nourishment.

Whereupon all-of-a-sudden one finds oneself on the other side of the wall (to keep with the ‘cornered’ analogy for now) with the hitherto unseeable doorway to freedom closing behind one and one is walking freely in this actual world where one has already always been living anyway.

All what happened was that upon ‘my’ exposure dissolution occurred and the Land of Lament sank without a trace. (Richard, List B, No. 39b, 21 Nov 2002).

This “feedback loop” seems to be what keeps ‘me’ in place as a self.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

What an incredible long journey and what an adventure to “plumb the depths of ‘being’ itself”.

It revealed for you the ‘presence’ which feeds of fear, and yet something was missing which kept you nevertheless “in place as a self”, which only your impeccable sincerity allowed you to recognize as “something like an actuality mimicking ASC” and not the genuine article.

Two things I noticed – one is where Richard recommends finding the thrilling aspect of fear and stay with –

Richard: Usually the frightening aspect dominates and obscures the thrilling aspect: shifting one’s attention to the thrilling aspect (I often said jokingly that it is down at the bottom left-hand side) will increase the thrill and decrease the fright as the energy of fear shifts its focus and changes into a higher gear ... and, as courage is sourced in the thrilling part of fear, the daring to proceed will intensify of its own accord.. (Richard, List B, No. 39b, 21 Nov 2002).

The second aspect which was missing, and they are closely related, is altruism, which will make the exploration into fear both thrilling and exhilarating –

Richard: Now, it is ‘me’ who is responsible for an action that results in ‘my’ own demise – without really doing the expunging itself (and I am not being tricky here) – as it is ‘me’ who is the initiator of bringing about this sacrifice in that ‘I’ deliberately and consciously, and with knowledge aforethought from a pure consciousness experience (PCE), set in motion a ‘process’ that will ensure ‘my’ demise (‘I’ do not really end ‘myself’ in that ‘I’ do not do the deed itself for ‘I’ cannot end ‘myself’). What ‘I’ do, voluntarily and intentionally (cheerfully and blessedly), is press the button which precipitates a, oft-times alarming but always thrilling, momentum which will result in ‘my’ irrevocable ‘self’-immolation in toto. What one does is that one dedicates oneself to the challenge of being just here, right now, as the universe’s experience of itself ... peace-on-earth is the inevitable result because it is already always existing (‘I’ was merely standing in the way of it being apparent).

The act of initiating this ‘process’ is altruism, pure and simple: it is a rather curious decision – a decision the likes of which has never been made before nor will ever be made again – that it is imperative it be ‘me’ who will evince the final and complete condition which will deliver the goods so longed for by humanity for millennia ... whereupon that thrilling momentum takes over and one realises one has embarked already (and once that impetus gets going one cannot ‘un-set’ the pace).

There is no pulling back – which is why most people do not want to set it in motion – because once one has started one cannot stop. It is a one-way trip – that is the thrilling part of it – […] [emphases added]. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 60, 3 Dec 2003)

Only you can know how to find the missing ingredient, and I know from your reports so far that you will leave no stone unturned to find it.

KUBA: There is a quote from Richard that reminds me of this but I cannot for the life of me find it! He explains that he meets the same people, things and events that others do, as if nothing has happened and yet something has changed irrevocably, in that there is an immaculate perfection and purity permeating all of existence.

VINEETO: Is this the quote you are looking for? –

Richard: With apperception operating more or less continuously in ‘my’ day-to-day life, ‘I’ find it harder and harder to maintain credibility. ‘I’ am increasingly seen as the usurper, an alien entity inhabiting this body and taking on an identity of its own. Mercilessly exposed in the bright light of awareness – apperception casts no shadows – ‘I’ can no longer find ‘my’ position tenable. ‘I’ can only live in obscuration, where ‘I’ lurk about, creating all sorts of mischief. ‘My’ time is speedily coming to an end, ‘I’ can barely maintain ‘myself’ any longer. 

The day finally dawns when something irrevocable happens inside the brain. In an ecstatic moment of being present, ‘I’ expire. ‘I’ am extirpated, rubbed out. ‘I’ cease to exist, permanently. […] Something irrevocable happens and everything is different, somehow, although everything stays the same physically ... with the outstanding exception of a perfection and purity permeating all and everything. Something has changed, although it is as if nothing has happened ... except that the entire world is transformed into a magical fairy-tale-like playground full of incredible joy and delight that is never-ending. ‘My’ demise was as fictitious as ‘my’ apparent ‘presence’. I have always been here, I realise, and that ‘I’ only imagined that ‘I’ existed. (Richard’s Journal, Article Eighteen, also:)

Cheers Vineeto

January 8 2025

VINEETO: 

Richard: The act of initiating this ‘process’ is altruism, pure and simple: it is a rather curious decision – a decision the likes of which has never been made before nor will ever be made again – that it is imperative it be ‘me’ who will evince the final and complete condition which will deliver the goods so longed for by humanity for millennia ... whereupon that thrilling momentum takes over and one realises one has embarked already (and once that impetus gets going one cannot ‘un-set’ the pace).[emphases added]. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 60, 3 Dec 2003)

KUBA: This is an interesting one, I can see this doubt that I experience says exactly the opposite, that it could not possibly be ‘me’, that ‘I’ am not good enough etc. And there is a dichotomy there where ‘my’ humility (that doubt in disguise) has the effect of keeping ‘me’ in place. Whereas to contemplate doing as per the quote there is this fear of becoming an utter megalomaniac.

Indeed ‘humanity’ will not let anyone escape.

VINEETO: Perhaps this common-sense contemplation will help with your present confusion, where neither pride nor humility, neither doubt nor fear can give you an answer –

Richard: The ‘motivation’? Actually coming face-to-face – as a visceral experiencing – with the reality of all the wars and murders and rapes and tortures and domestic violence and child abuse and sadness and loneliness and grief and depression and suicides that are endemic to the human condition.

The ‘goal’? To bring to an end all the wars and murders and rapes and tortures and domestic violence and child abuse and sadness and loneliness and grief and depression and suicides that are endemic to the human condition.(Richard, List B, No. 13, 26 May 1999)

There is nothing “megalomaniac” to sincerely and passionately want “to bring to an end all the wars and murders and rapes and tortures and domestic violence and child abuse and sadness and loneliness and grief and depression and suicides that are endemic to the human condition”.

At this point in your life this is the only intelligent and worthwhile action to do, and I recommend not to rush into any action but to keep this as an open question until it clicks for you –

Richard: …the ‘I’ that was took full responsibility and an action that was not of ‘his’ doing resulted. (Richard, List B, No. 13, 14 June 1999)

You have painted yourself into a corner with an inevitable outcome and I salute your audacity.

Cheers Vineeto

January 13 2025

KUBA:

Richard: Okay … this is important, vital, pivotal: ‘I’, the thinker, know that ‘I’ cannot do it … ‘I’ cannot disappear ‘myself’. Only the ‘utter fullness’ can, and the ‘utter fullness’ is ‘calling one’, each moment again, and it is only when ‘I’ fully comprehend – totally, completely, fundamentally – that to be living this ‘utter fullness’ is to be living ‘my’ destiny will one be able ‘to answer that call’.

This full-blooded endorsement means it then becomes inevitable.(Richard, List B, No. 25f, 18 June 2000)

Allowing this “utter fullness” is indeed not about ‘me’ keeping busy, it is about ‘me’ becoming (or more specifically accepting that it has always been so) totally redundant, and agreeing to this with the entirety of ‘my’ being. When ‘I’ contemplate this possibility there is such an incredible sweetness to admitting this, it’s where release is located.

VINEETO: Dear Kuba,
This is so wondrous and mirificent to read, the utter fullness wafts across the planet and brings tears of sweetness.

And the full moon shines on the still pond of an incoming tide perfectly reflecting in the water …

Cheers Vineeto

January 14 2025

VINEETO: And this is because the actualism method is about one thing and one thing only –

[Richard]: … the actualism method is all about consciously and knowingly imitating life in the actual world. Also, by virtue of proceeding in this manner the means to the end – an ongoing enjoyment and appreciation – are no different to the end itself. [emphasis added]. (Richard, Articles, This Moment of Being Alive).

(Actualism, ActualVineeto, JesusCarlow, 13 January 2025).

KUBA: So there are no half measures in actualism, the wide and wondrous path is one that leads to ‘my’ demise. If ‘I’ want to use actualism to feed back into ‘my’ identity then ‘I’ never step on the wide and wondrous path to begin with.

VINEETO: Hi Kuba,

Well, there is one “half-measure” – on can aim for a virtual freedom, a condition which is well beyond human expectations and far better than any of the 7 billion humans on the planet experience themselves at present.

It still requires a fundamental change and sincere application to shed a large part of one’s old identity but is nevertheless easier to achieve and perhaps less scary than aiming for an actual freedom from the start. Here is what Richard said in praise of Virtual Freedom –

[Richard]: To summarize: The purpose of applying the actualism method, which the identity inhabiting this flesh and blood body all those years ago both devised and put into full effect, is two-fold – to be of an immediate benefit (an ongoing affective felicity/ innocuity) and an ultimate benefaction (an enduring actual felicity/ innocuity) – and is thus a win-win situation inasmuch as in the meanwhile, if the ultimate be yet to come about, a virtual freedom is way, way beyond normal human expectations.

I cannot stress enough how, with a virtual freedom being more or less the norm worldwide, global amity and equity would be an on-going state of affairs.

As such they have both [Peter and Vineeto] done a sterling service for their fellow human beings – having written prolifically about it all whilst they were doing it (rather than after the fact from memory) – in ensuring an in-control virtual freedom is now possible for any normal person/ normal couple simply by applying the actualism method – as distinct from the actualism process – in their everyday life (both at work and at leisure).

In other words, they have both shown and documented the way how a virtual freedom which does not require being out-from-control – let alone something peculiar happening in the nape of the neck – can spread exponentially around the globe without disrupting civilisation (as a bloody revolution would, for example, in a futile attempt to change society).

‘The only way societies will radically alter is by radical change on an individual level as it is individuals collectively who make society what it is.

And this is where actualism is pivotal as it must be borne in mind that the way children are raised is in accord with the prevailing wisdom of the time (currently in the form of values/ principles and morals/ ethics per favour the trickle-down effect of spiritual enlightenment/ mystical awakenment).

Thus it is the flow-on effect of the words and writings of an actual freedom from the human condition – as in practically anyone now being able to be as happy and as harmless (virtually free of both malice and sorrow and their antidotal pacifiers love and compassion) as is humanly possible – which is the most probable and realistic prospect, in the foreseeable future, for all of humankind ... and which is why I stress the importance of a virtual freedom. [emphasis added] (Library, Topics, Virtual Freedom, + Tooltip)

Of course, some intrepid pioneers are not satisfied with second best and aim for the ultimate prize.

KUBA: I have noticed that most of the times when I have essentially done nothing with regards to progress was exactly this, that ‘I’ wanted to keep ‘myself’ and ‘my’ life exactly as it was and then use actualism to super charge the whole thing. This creates a nice circular process that succeeds in keeping ‘me’ exactly as ‘I’ am.

So it is not that there is a barrier to entry as such, the barrier is ‘me’, whether ‘I’ am ready for something fundamentally different, extreme by any ‘normal’ measures. Even stepping on the path to begin with ‘my’ whole world is being undermined. Richard saw this in that first PCE, that the totality of who ‘he’ was would have to go in order to live that experience 24/7. There is no way around this, perhaps why the numbers of sincere actualists are so low. I do remember this from the first few months of applying the method, I remember writing that it was as if ‘I’ was stuck in this deep dark cave that ‘I’ have made ‘my’ home and actuality was being glanced, however contemplating stepping out of that cave and into the bright light of actuality was something so audacious. Even though release was in that direction ‘I’ was screaming with all of ‘my’ being not to step out.

VINEETO: That is a good description why for some, if not most, it is difficult at the start to use the actualism method successfully before they have understood and agreed to that is it about "undermining" my ‘self’. Unless this is understood ‘I’ will invent a hundred cunning ways to sabotage any progress and some of you had to learn this the hard way.

Whereas once the commitment is made that I will change myself radically and fundamentally, suddenly the actualism method works like a charm and is fun to boot. Having some PCEs to experience what is possible can work a treat.

Cheers Vineeto